Sitting in the back row waiting for class to start my heart stops. How is this possible? I signed up for every class that I knew she wouldn't be taking. OK so psychic powers are not one of my gifts. I stare at her as she makes her to an empty seat in the front row. She stops and looks up in my direction. She tilts her head before shaking it and taking her seat. The professor walks in and starts going over the normal first day bs. I sit there staring at her. I know she can feel my gaze on her. The professor starts handing out individual syllabuses. At the sound of my name her head shoots up. As I walk pass her she looks at me. After getting my syllabus I go back to my seat grab my things and prepare to exit the room. Getting ready to walk pass her again she reaches out and grabs my arm. I stop and look at her.
"whats up Kaira?" I ask indifferently as if I hadn't just spent the last 25 minutes staring at her.
"can we talk after class?"
I'm thinking very hard about just blowing her off but she is my heart.
"yes"
The professor calls her name she gets up to retrieve her syllabus. I pick up her items and present her my arm so I can lead her out of the room. Walking slowly wondering whats on her mind. I wait for her to speak first.
"I talked to Jazz about the other night."
"you told her I kissed you?"
"yes I also told her I kissed you back and that every feeling I've had for you is still right there on the surface. And as much as I want to fight it I can't. But all this being said I don't trust you not to just run and leave me again. And I need to be able to trust you." she pleads with me.
"Kaira, I know I hurt you and I can't ever apologize enough for that fact, but give me a chance to correct it. I can't change the past but I can work on the future. Let me work on building something with you." I know I'm begging and I don't care.
We are standing off to the side of the building. She is facing me. Looking up at me. I again feel like she can see through me. I also feel someone is watching us. Looking around I see Jazz looking at us as she is leaving one of the department buildings. The deep scowl on her face the look of hatred in her eyes. I meet her stare she turns away. Looking back down into the face of the woman I love.
"come home with me so we can talk in private."
"OK"
Walking the few blocks to my apartment in silence I'm just grateful she is walking with me that she is next to me.
"did you sleep with her in my home?"
"huh what?"
"did you sleep with Jazz in my home?"
"no I never slept with Jazz period not that its any of your business but no not in your home or anywhere."
I breathe a sigh of relief.
Entering my apartment I lead her to the living room.
"would you like something to drink?"
"what are my options?" I would have speed to get her whatever she wanted.
"anything."
"water"
I get up to get her water while grabbing a Dr Pepper for myself. Sitting next to her.
"tell me what do we do now?"
"i need to feel safe with you. I have never felt this way with anyone. When I thought you were gone for good all I could do was cry. I thought I did something to make you leave. And last week when you came back I wanted to hate you. But when you kissed me all my fight left." she stopped and seemed to be contemplating her next words. "I want to be with you. I told Jazz that much. That I didn't want to be unfair to her while my heart felt like it belonged to you." she finished while taking a sip of water.
"lets take it slow day by day I'll go at your pace. I just want to be with you. I have wanted that since the moment I walked into that door while looking at you."
"can you promise me something?"
"yes"
"if you start to get scared or afraid or decide you don't want this anymore you will tell me and not run?"
I turn to face her fully pulling her hands into mine
"no I cant promise that" she starts to pull her hands away I hurry to speak on as I see a tear trailing down her face. Removing her sunglasses I look into her eyes
"cause you are all I want and I'm never making the mistake of running and losing you again,"
She starts crying and I hold her and kiss on her. Trying to say comfort things.
"ssshhhh baby I'm here I'm not leaving I'm going to show you. I'm going to prove it to you I'm not going anywhere."
She holds on to me for dear life begging me not to hurt her again. She is breaking my heart. It hurts more knowing I'm the cause of her tears, her grief and sorrow.
"I'm not I'm here baby. I can't stay away."
slowly she starts to calm down. Clearing her throat she says "Jazz probably hates both of us now but I can't help how I feel towards you how it feels to be with you. I missed being around you in your arms."
"i missed you there."
"where did you go?"
"everywhere and nowhere. I just boarded my boat and let the current take me. I had no destination in mind."
"wait you have a boat?"
"yes"
"this has never come up but you have a boat this is your place. Jazz described it to me. I know you have more than one vehicle. The one you pulled up in last night was different than the one you took me home in. You're not in with the mob or anything are you?"
"i don't think there has been a more humorous way of someone asking about my lifestyle than that." I reply laughing, "no I'm not in with the mob or anything. I made a few good options in the market trade with the money my parents left me." not bothering to ask how she knew my cars were different probably the same way I know who is pulling up at my home. The sound of the engine. "I don't flaunt my money but I do live comfortable."
"i don't care about your money. I don't care what you have and what you can do for me." she says leaning into me laying on me for the most part. She turns her head gazing at me pulling my head down to hers she presses her lips against mine. I kiss her back idly running my tongue against her bottom lip. She moves away and smirks.
"what was that for?" I ask.
"nothing I just wanted to know I'm actually able to do that again."