Today, we shall go straight onto the point. Well, as this is my first chapter, you may find it rude. But WHATEVER. As I am in the mood of excessive amount of ranting. So, shall we begin with my first chapter? Ladies and gentlemen?
ROMANCE CLICHES I SEE ONE TOO MANY OFTEN.
No matter what age this is what happens: rich boy and hardly-middle-class girl.
Or, this happens in most cases: bad boy and good girl.
Heck. I had no idea this was even a cliche before Wattpad: guys always wandering around in YOUR apartment building half naked?
#1: CAR ACCIDENTS make them forget EVERYTHING.
If this is written strongly, it's actually very pleasing to read because there is desperation and love that is lost through the story which makes it the perfect time to slip more information into the main character, making them more "dynamic" in total (as we've introduced last chapter), but when it's written bluntly ONLY because the story is getting boring?!?!?!?!?!?!
#2: He LOVES her in, like, five chapters?
Sometimes, it's within the two chapters. Like, not only on Wattpad, but on other websites like Quotev, Movellas, it's repetitive. A lot of stories seem to claim that the two characters are "in love". Like, what?
#3: EPILOGUE: MARRIAGE.
This doesn't even make sense. Epilogues are there to "wrap things up" by adding a lecture, moral, or collecting what the entire book was trying to tell the reader in one short chapter, but when marriage is introduced, it's like, "are you serious right now? AGAIN?!"
Marriage is cute and when it portrays the difficulties of any romance can be solved, it's fine. In fact, I will LOVE a story that is like that. BUT when it takes a couple steps forward, it gets a bit... headachey.
#4: ARRANGED MARRIAGES?!
Like, what the hell? Normal people don't get married to mysterious rich people, okay? Not only that. The arranged marriage is cute, but I see so much of it happening at when the main character is freakin' seventeen! SEVENTEEN, people?! Do you know how young that is? This is NOT the nineteenth century. Get your head in the game---actually don't, because no matter what age, there is no explanation to ANY of this.
There is no background. Besides, to get arranged married in the modern world, you NEED at least a good explanation. Like two companies that want to converse, something that holds the family name sacred. Or, if you're going to do arranged marriage, make it so that it's less cliche.
Have the boy hate her. Have the girl hate him. Have the main character want him. Have the other character not want their married other.
#5: One Girl; Five Boys.
First of all: there are NOT that many fish in the sea! Secondly, what kind of girl gets five boys and portrays that as the majority of her life? Okay. Calm down. The thing with these stories, not only are they super artifical and are kind of obvious that the writer wants to have so many boys surrounding her, but seriously?
If you write these, your main character is probably balling her eyes out on the inside that you've completely forgotten to write about! Because five boys and one girl is too much for a modern human being to handle. If this is going to happen, make it so that it's believable. No. Actually? Just don't write it, because not only are you making yourself sound really needy, you're making other girls like me cry on the other side of the monitor, wondering why I can't get those five guys this lucky b*tch I'm reading about has.
Done.
#6: I LOVE my BFF. And he's a guy.
As sweet as these stories are, they're kind of nauseating. For me personally, I want my guy friends to STAY that way. Actually, I don't have any boy best friends to choose from anyways. But, if I did, I want them to stay that way.
But it's not only that. What I've said above can make a very romantic and cute story. It really can, and I've read some like those here before.
#6.5: And he's my longLOST friend.
Again, I've seen amazing writes with this plot to it, but it's kind of aggrovating. First off, this guy you haven't seen in, like, six years is not going to come running to you again, balling his eyes out and get married to you. As cute as that is, and no matter how much I want love to be that simple in real life, it's not reality. And besides, you haven't seen his boy in ages. He can turn out to be just like that one weird freaky dude shoved in the corner of the classroom, writing his own kidnapping-girls-and-r*ping-them poems.
Ew. Just no.
#7: The WAITRESS hits on your date.
First of all, that poor waitress wearing that dress of out-of-stock-fabric is probably sick tired by the night (which is when most dates are held, cliche states) from all the random street dudes hitting on her. She isn't going to hit on some guy. Besides, if she really was a sl*t then she wouldn't be hitting on the guy you're dating with. Actually, never mind. She would because your date is handsome, attractive, funny, smart, accomplished, talented, and the one guy that's perfect for about any other girl.
#8: Want free hugs? Horror Movie Spree!
Okay. Guys are not teddy bears. Don't just be constantly making excuses to hug them. Because they aren't.
Also, don't just make the boy accept what's going on. Instead, why not be a comedian? Make the guy be scared of the horror movie. Or instead, have the main character make a mistake or some weird interaction beyond than just hugging them because there's no use. It's all a filler, when you think about the free hugs, horror movie spree thing. Make sure to piece the actions and what the main character decides to do carefully as ALL DIALOGUE AND ACTIONS should force a change in the present atmsphere or in the future.
#9: The Hated Boy = The NEW LOVER?!
This is kind of ridiculous. If you love the boy, then great. If you hate the boy, even better. This gives the character competition or something that they can feel vengeance towards without them being a sl*tty Barbie brat. But if it's a boy that the girl hates and then ends up loving? It gets kind of sappy and unless there's a true and strong underlying meaning to this, it's honestly kind of trash.
Besides, think about someone you really hate. Like, really hate. Boy or girl, doesn't matter. When you attempt to think about them, it may be very easy. Or it may be very hard. Either way, it's just like that. That one person you hate that pops up immediately after reading the headline of this subject is how much you hate them. How much you're aware that you hate them. Do you ever think you're going to mellow to that person? Well, if the imaged popped up that quickly, most likely you're going to answer with a no. Yet, some fictional characters feel as though how much they hate a person, they can still change and become their lover?
Let me repeat this: their lover. That's just wrong. Personally, when I hate a person, I hardly think about them. No matter how fancy they look one day compared to the next, it's none of my business and I forget about them almost immediately. Besides, I don't have a specific person I hate (kind of changes everyday). But if this main girl or guy has this one targetted person they truly dismiss the fact of ever being around, ever knowing, well they're your sworn enemy. And sworn enemies don't all of a sudden become your lover.
Hah, why not turn them into your arranged marriage's other? Gotta love it when the two biggest cliches become one. Hey, at least you get something decently cliche or slightly original out of those ideas, right?
#10: Do you LOVE him? Or are you USING him? Because THERE IS NO FLIPPIN' DIFFERENCE HERE!
Bah, I'm balling my eyes out now. I see the poor girl using the rich guy for money. Or I see this one passionate girl trying to have what this boy has. But along the way, she falls in love. I guess this is natural human interaction and instinct. Sticking around one person long enough to end up connecting, realizing the best from them, or even falling in love with them is very humane and admittable. But even within the first five chapters after they've either met for the first time, or start sticking around each other, the girl or the guy, depending on your main character, seems to fall in love with this person.
So it really should go from, "My Mistaken Lover" to "Go Read #10 on Common Romances; Wattpad: Cliches and Ridicules". Like, really. The whole "using him or her" thing is actually quite genius, really. I give credit to whoever started that trend, but really, when the romance is too rushed (which is TOO cliche to even bother listing here) or when it just gets too unrealistic to the point it's odd, it's just, stop. The more unrealistic the book is, the more entertainment we get from it: which is our entire reason to the point we're reading these kind of Internet books. That's basically why your parents would rather you reading a published book rather than something off the Internet. But still, there's a line that you SHOULD NOT, I repeat, SHOULD NOT cross with reality.
And when I mean unrealistic, I mean to the point every other second the character are either forced to see together, or the main character has literally everything going for her: she's using the guy and getting what she wants, the guy doesn't mind, and it just continues along until the book ends. Or until there's some annoying ignorant BAM! in the middle that leaves one of them relating back to #1.
Okay. I think that's enough.
WRITING (OFTEN ROMANCE) ACCIDENTS I SEE WAY TOO MUCH.
Sure, spelling errors are acceptable because not everyone has spell check installed into their tablet, iPhone or computer, but it's always better to have correct spelling no matter what. Anyways, with that being said, here are some writing (often romance) accidents I see WAYYY too much of the time. Cliches can be altered into cute fun loving stories?
Accidents, though? PUH-LEASE.
#1: Sequels.
Most likely, if they're chicklit, or romance, a sequel isn't needed. But just for a few more reads, for a few more fantasies to be completed throughout the story, people will add an avoidable sequel that may as well ruin the entire series. Mystery books, teen fictions, adventure are all genres that are most likely going to have a sequel no matter what since things like detectives solving mysteries never stops, and adventure is, well, adventure. And teen fiction? You can write a sequel with a completely new main character, sharing the alike moral of your previous main character on the first book.
Just don't add unnecessary sequels. Not only is it confusing and repetitive, you can always write a new cliche book with a completely different cliche. Simply choose one up above and you'll be happy :D
#2: Girl Number One with Boy Number Three? Girl Number One with Boy Number Four? Girl Number One with flippin' ALL OF THEM?!
Near the end of a chapter, the author does something like this:
"Hope you enjoyed the story. Make sure to comment who your favourite shipping is. You never know which ones may happen: Richard and Emily? Carlson and Emily? Hey, maybe even Nicholas and Emily?"
First of all, you're not commercial broadcasting here. You're not a communications major. You're none of them. Then why are you trying so hard to address yourself like one of those girls on games show with plastered on smiles that may as well have been there since birth, holding up the big cheque with tight, toned, and tan arms? Secondly, you're giving away EVERYTHING. Like, literally. Near the end, readers will be like, "This is not a surprise at all. Didn't you, like, already alert us that it would be Nick and Em in, like, the second chapter?!"
Or at least, I do.
#3: NickNAMES.
They're cute. They really are. But when that one annoying girls calls her boyfriend "boo". Or when that one mature rich boy calls his girls "darling" or "dear" or "love". Don't get me wrong: nicknames add PERSONALITY. What it's lacking is well, actually they're lacking in the lacking of romantic interest.
Just because you love them, doesn't mean you have to add, "love". In the most SERIOUS of situations, you find the boy or girl calling each other by their nicknames. Someone's just fainted and you say, "oh my goodness! What do we do, dear?". Sure. I get it. PERSONALITY. Adding nicknames adds a personality and inner voice that we play over in our heads as readers. That's a good ability to have as an author: intertwining personality with dialogue. But there's a certain line that draws it all in. Just make sure you don't cross that line.
#4: Overusing "LITERALLY".
I'm very guilty of doing this, and often times when I'm like, "I mean, lit-" I think, "wait..." and then I correct it. But in romance stories, when does it cross the mind of the main character that this person is LITERALLY picking up the piece of paper she dropped. Does it make sense when your crush accidently crashes into you and grabs your books from the floor, you think, "he's literally picking the book up for me. Oh my God. What to do?"
Because I don't.
#5: Love Songs that such STREEEEETCH on.
These often are from people who just don't want to finish the rest of their stories.
Back when I first started writing, this was my cheat slip to finishing up the chapter. When I had first started writing? Yeah. That was when I was ten. Ten years old and I did that. Ten. Or maybe eleven. Because you know what? No one cares if you're ten or twenty two, just don't use songs to purposely extend the length of your chapter. If you're going to, make sure that it's shortened and doesn't appear to be as obvious as it would be without the editing.
The editing of the lyrics you took off from the web.
Don't lie. Admit it.
#6: My Best Friend's Vocabulary: "I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
No one bothers to even listen to the rest, okay?
#6.5: My Vocabulary: "Hey CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Self explanatory.
But seriously. This really snaps my last nerve. Can't you do something other than the obnoxious stretching of words? That's why we have a mind. We can express through the words of our book what the main character says or hearts. You don't need to actually put that into dialogue. Because NOBODY actually pays attention with which specific letter you decide to drag your words on.
Now you understand some things that are very annoying. Being said, there are works out there that are AMAZING reads. Here are some I'm going to list below because they truly are AMAZING reads I actually have found myself enjoying here on Wattpad (when I was without an account, or with one).
Santa's Not Fat by Chelstopolis
*a lovely write because it's very descriptive, and even if there are some cliche parts and pecks of the story, it's not overrated. And besides, who doesn't want to date a handsome Santa who, for once, isn't a complete rebel. It's a very fictional refreshing read that, for some reason, I find I relate a lot to and is very humourous. Is it just me? Because I'm raising my hand up right here. Yeah, high up in the air.
Queen of Shapes by Trewest
*a book with a very strong female lead which is why I love it so much. It is more heavily rated, so I was quite skeptical about this book. But the chapters in the story, each and every one of them are written with sheer perfection. Like, literally (relate back to 2nd #4). You can tell what feeling is being poured down when you read the book. It's truly amazing and I really do enjoy this story by her. I really do think that it's one of the best Wattpad stories ever as it takes a student/teacher cliche (which I shall rant about in another chapter) but there's such a dramatic twist on it that's incomparable to a lot of the other stories on here. LOVE this book.