I sighed with a heart as heavy as my steps, trudging back to my house coming from the flower shop I work part time at. It was the only job fitted for me since I only needed to arrange the flowers and take care of deliveries, meaning I didn't have to interact with customers. Plus I love flowers so working there is enjoyable and takes my mind off things for a while.
Once reaching the gate to my house, something caught my eye—a flower on top of the mailbox. Uhm? Did someone send this to the wrong house? I picked it up and observed it carefully for notes or cards, and there was but instead of someone else's name written on it, there was my name. Huh? Why would someone send a flower to someone as ugly as me?
"Hi, I wanted to do something for you and you seem like you're fond of flowers so I researched and tried hard to find these. I hope you don't find me creepy :(( I know you know the meaning of possibly every flower but pls just pretend that u don't. To start off, this is an Amaryllis. I wanted to give u this flower first to remind you that you are beautiful. I haven't seen you without your mask yet but just looking at your eyes, I know that you have a very pretty face and you are beyond beautiful so I hope one day, you can have the courage to remove your mask and see yourself as someone who is pretty. Hope you have a nice day mask girl :D
- your flower boy"
Tears welled up in my eyes whilst possibly flashing the biggest and most genuine smile in my whole life. I looked around, hoping that I'd be able to see a figure hiding but to no avail. Though it seems confusing and a little unexpected, it didn't stop me from being grateful to whoever that person is for cheering me up through this small act and distracting me from the past days.
The next day came and that meant I had to go to school but here I am, still lying on my bed, thinking that another day without going to school won't hurt and that I'll just let this day pass again by staying home and thinking about life. But unfortunately, God has other plans for me when the bell rang. Groaning and lifelessly walking to the window to peek who it is, adrenaline and shock rushed over me as I quickly grabbed my mask and a jacket before running out, stumbling in the process.
"W-What are you doing here?" I stuttered, calming myself down. Cheonju shrieked in excitement and didn't hesitate to open the gate to throw herself onto me for a hug to which I return. "I thought you died!" I snort at that and roll my eyes, pulling away from her embrace.
"How's school?"
"Who cares how school is, it's always the same—boring. How are you? Are you eating well? Do you even sleep oh my gosh look at your eyebags! You look so soulless and tired and stressed! That's it—Junglebook, go to school, I'm staying here to take care of her," I look at her in shock and quickly protest, "What? No! You should go to school too! I'm fine, I can live without food."
"So that means you haven't been eating for days?! Okay, more reason for me to stay, you can't stop me," She states and stomps her way towards my house but I block her before she does. "No! Jeongguk, take her with you!" I plead, looking straight at him with desperation burning in my eyes and he looks caught off guard and flustered. Cheonju looked back at him, probably threatening him.
"Uhm... c-can I stay too?" whAt?? "Sure!" Cheonju replied before I could open my mouth, turning back to me with a smirk on her face, "Tuck her in muscle pig," she grinned and made her way into my house.
"Come in...?" I mentally slapped myself for making it sound like a question. He stiffly nodded and obediently followed me in.
"Oooh nice place you got here," how is a place filled with loneliness a nice place? "Uh thanks, I tried to make it look as nice as possible haha," She nodded, not noticing the hint of sadness on my voice. Her eyes are curiously looking around in awe and I noticed how she tilted her head once her eyes landed on a door.
"What's behind that door?" I gasp when she trudged to the door but before she could grasp the doorknob, I rushed in front of the door, letting out a squeaky "nothing!" She eyed me suspiciously and tried to reach for the doorknob once again but I didn't budge.
"Why? Are we not allowed there?" I looked over her shoulder and at Jeongguk, instantly feeling bad when seeing the pout on his face. "Y-yes.." He whined like a puppy and I had to look away from him before I give in. God I can't resist this boy.
"F-fine but, you can only peek, not enter and you can only peek for three seconds!" When they looked like they agreed with my unfair condition, I stepped aside and as soon as I did that, Cheonju jumped for the door and swung it open, a gasp leaving her and Jeongguk's mouth.
I felt insecure, and a bit protective of the place that kept me sane and going for years so I tried to close the door, telling them that three seconds have passed but Jeongguk stopped me from doing so, his eyes not leaving the sight in front of him in awe as he walked through the door. My mind kept screaming at me to stop them and drag them out of there since it was my safe place and with someone knowing what it looks like inside makes me feel a bit anxious but I ignored the urge to stop them, because I want to trust them. I want to trust them enough to show the only beauty in this 'castle' filled with loneliness.
"It—it's beautiful," relief surged through me when Jeongguk said that and I finally followed them in. "How long have you been growing these?" He turned to me before looking around again, his mouth agape as he observed every flower, touching them carefully.
"Since I was 9? So it's been 9 years now," it's also been 9 years since everyone abandoned me... I shook my head to take my mind off the pain and horrors I've gone through after that just for me to survive and I began to look around also to at least make me feel at ease.
"9 years?!" Cheonju stared at me in shock, "All I could do at the age of nine was trip over nothing thrice a day wow, how did you manage to do this for 9 years?" I chuckled at her mini story. "It's what kept me alive so I figured I should repay it by keeping it alive as well," I grinned and she gave me a smile with a hint of sadness.
"Amaryllis?" I turned to Jeongguk who was in front of the flower someone gave me yesterday and I went over to him. "Oh you know that flower? I actually never heard of that before since I only know the flowers I have but I recently found out about it" A soft smile appeared on my face when remembering the note with the flower.
Maybe if I looked up, maybe if I was observant enough, I would've seen the spark in his eyes and how he looked at me with eyes full of adoration but I wasn't. I was focused on the flower in front of me while he was focused on me.
——————
-JK-
A feeling of euphoria rushed through me, recalling how she looked like when she talked about the new flower she recently discovered—the flower I left for her, so today would be day two to my mission—my make-her-happy mission. This time, I'm leaving Hydrangea flowers outside her house and this time, I'll stay and hide somewhere because I'm dying to see her reaction again.
I played games on my phone while waiting for her to show up and yes, I skipped school for this. She must be out since she didn't show up when I rang her doorbell. Two hours passed by and I finally saw her figure walking towards her house in a tired manner, but it all disappeared in a span of 0.2 seconds when she noticed the flower carefully placed on the floor.
Her face was covered but it was noticeable that she had a wide grin on her face because of her eyes. Soon, tears pooled out of her eyes as she read the note I left for her.
"Heyy I'm back! Sorry I couldn't leave flowers yesterday, I had something to do :(( That aside, the flower today is a Hydrangea! It can be used to express gratitude and heartfelt emotions. You might not know what you did for me but you made a really big impact in my life and I'm thankful for that. Thank you for cheering me up, thank you for being a part of my life, thank you for making me smile, thank you for existing. Thank you. You are one of the reasons why my life is filled with colors and I hope I can fill yours with colors and happiness too! This is all coming from the bottom of my heart, so I hope my sincerity was delivered to your heart.
- your flower boy"
By the looks on her face, I could tell that my sincerity was delivered and I came home that day with a smile that's not leaving my face anytime soon.
Day 3:
"Today's flower isss /dugudugudugudugu/ White Dittany! I care for you—a lot like a lot lot and I care for you enough that I'm worried sick abt u :(( i hope whatever you're going through, whatever you think about yourself right now—it will all disappear. I hope time will come where you can finally let go of your mask because honestly, i think the mask is the problem. It hides your pretty face and makes you think you need it. The mask is like a curse so if u want to I can, u know, burn it so you can finally show your true self. You are the prettiest in my eyes and I care for you a lot 💕
- your flower boy"
Day 4:
"Helloooo! This flower has lots of meanings so I'm just gonna cite what I've researched first ;v; 'Gardenia - symbolizes purity and sweetness; indicates secret love, conveys joy and tells the receiver that they are lovely' so uhh where d-do I start? Uh I guess I can start with the 'indicates secret love' part,,, Idk if this is called love but I feel something whenever I see you, what more if I already get to see your face omg my heart is gonna cOMBUSt /coughs/ okay did that sound weird or creepy?? I'm sorry if it did :( I don't mean it to be creept or weird I swear :((( Uhm I w-wuv u
- your flower boy"
Day 5:
"The flower for today is very very veryyy pretty like u and I'm giving these flowers to u bc from what I've researched, it's gifted to a love one. This is so embarrassing omg I just really ??? love you ?? aAAA oh wait omg I still haven't told u what this flower is im sorry omg,, this flower is an Azalea and wow I have no words this flower is so pretty but uhm you're prettier u-uwu oH AND! I'll be showing myself real soon as in really soon. I'm telling you this so you can decide whether or not you want to show your face to me. If I ring the doorbell and you don't come out I understand but I sincerely hope you can show up. I love you
- your flower boy"
Day 6:
This is it, this is the day I'm finally revealing myself to her. I hope she decides to trust me and finally show her face so I can smother her with compliments and love.
I rang the doorbell, keeping my left hand behind me to hide the flowers I have for her. Soon after, she came out of her house and looked at me confusedly, "Jeongguk? What are you doing here?" I felt my tongue get caught as I tried to stop myself from panicking.
"I told you I'll show myself real soon didn't I?" I softly smiled at her, ignoring my drumming heart, and she stared at me in shock, "W-wait... you're my flower boy?!" My smile grew wider when I heard what she just said.
"Yup, I'm your flower boy and you're my flower girl. Don't you think we're cute?" Her cheeks were tinted pink and she stammered on her words.
I cleared my throat and looked everywehere else, not knowing what or where to start, "I'm sorry for not finding out sooner," I started, "I'm sorry for assuming that Cheonju was the one who left gifts. That must've hurt a lot so I figured I should exert effort like you did," I brought out the flowers and held it out in front of her.
"Remember this? You sent me one before and you said in the note that its meaning is based on whether or not it's given in a group, but I found something. It has other meanings depending on the color. This Yellow Daffodil represents new beginnings and are given to wish someone good luck. I hope this day, or whenever you're ready will be our new beginning—I'll wait, but first—" My hand found its way to her soft hands, intertwining them on mine.
"Youngie-yah, can I be your good luck who will shield you from the harshness of this world?"
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B O N U S F L O W E R !
To my supportive, loving, caring and thoughtful b!tch jungshookening happy birthday to you !! This flower is for u (this chap is also lowkey dedicated to u bc i know how much u love jk uwu)
Geranium (oak-leaved) - meaning true friendship. Thank you for all the memories we made whether one of us were emo (or both) or the fun times we spent. I hope we can make more memories, more teas to share and more emo days to share! Thank u for always hyping me up in whatevs I do, just know that whatever u do, even if it's taboo to others I will hype u up and support u always ! (and also kick those who says sht abt u uwu) i💜u ! enjoy the few hours left before ur bday ends !!