For quite possibly the first time ever, I didn't trip up or fall over going through the portal. I stepped through gracefully, prepared for the strange shift in gravity.
Being back in Heaven did give me a strange sense of peace. I felt like maybe, one day I could belong here. But maybe not... if they found out that I had been spending time with a Fallen...
It wasn't like anyone has specifically told me that I wasn't meant to – even so, I was left with a feeling of guilt that told me I shouldn't be doing it.
Perhaps my break from Earth would give me some time to think, to gain a better perspective.
The courtroom was almost entirely empty, just a few Searchers stood guard by the portal. I headed towards the white tunnel, the one that led to the outside. I decided that I wanted to go up to my room. I didn't exactly have any friends up there, so I had nowhere else I particularly wanted to go. Besides, it was about time to go decorate that room of mine.
I kept my head hanging low, staring at my feet as I walked. I didn't feel like I was in the mood to speak to anyone, so perhaps they wouldn't bother me if I walked like this.
But that wasn't going to stop everyone.
"Emilia." A gentle voice cut in, I saw a pair of feet in front of me.
And I couldn't help myself. My stomach was suddenly filled with warmth, and my natural reaction was to look up. Right into those green eyes covered with tiny silver flecks.
Noah.
His shoulders were hunched forwards, his eyes drooping slightly. I was shocked at how... exhausted, he seemed to be. "Can we talk?"
I took a deep breath, and quickly skirted around him, rushing away as quickly as I could. Strangely, the back of my shoulders began to ache a little, but it was easy to ignore, instead focusing on my escape.
"Emilia!" He called out, "I just want to talk! Please?"
But I couldn't. I just couldn't face him, knowing he had betrayed me, lied to me.
"Emilia!" He called again. I kept running. Straight for the Guardian tower, right up the stairs to my room at the very top.
It was almost as empty as it had been the last time I was here. There was just one new addition: A huge white bed, set up in the middle of the room.
I sighed when I saw it. Noah had built this for me, when I thought that perhaps I would still need sleep. Even if not for that, it looked incredibly comfortable.
I lay down on it immediately, glad at how soft it was. I could have easily fallen asleep there, in that moment.
If it wasn't for the gust of wind that suddenly billowed across the sheets.
I sat up immediately, looking up. Stood in front of me was Noah. His wings were out, though they seemed to droop, not their usual strong selves. Slowly, he brought them back inside his shoulders.
I got up off of the bed, staring at him in shock, does he have no boundaries?
"What are you doing here?" I exclaimed, irritated. As I spoke, I noticed a slightly burning sensation where my shoulders were. I reached back distractedly, was there something on my back?
"Tell me what's wrong." He begged. "Please, I just want to know why you've been ignoring me."
I said nothing, turning my back to him and pretending to fiddle around with the shelves – not that there was anything on them yet.
"Just tell me what I did so that I can fix it." He pleaded, walking towards me. I felt my eyes burning, trying to hold back tears. "Please, Emilia. You can't just ignore me like this."
I took a deep breath and turned to face him. "My mother." My voice cracked.
"What about her?" He frowned, seeming confused.
I shook my head, annoyed that he was still acting like he didn't know. "You knew that she was here." I elaborated. "You let me think that she had gone missing. I could have understood why you didn't tell me before I knew about this place. But even now? When I know everything about it? I just can't understand why you would keep it a secret."
"Emilia... I honestly don't know what you're talking about?" He shrugged. "I had no idea she was here?"
"Why are you still denying it?" A stray tear leaked from my eye. "You knew they had brought her here to be healed, why would you keep that from me? The fact that my mother was getting better?"
"I promise Emilia, I didn't know she was here!" He seemed bewildered, but it was just an act.
That's when the tears started truly running down my face, burning as they ran across my cheeks. "Why are you lying to me?"
It was in that moment that a great pain shot through my back where my shoulders were. "Ow!" I cried out, reaching frantically to my shoulders. I could feel nothing there, only the pain. Nothing but the pain.
"Emilia?" Noah called out, reaching towards me.
I shook my head, stumbling backwards. "Don't touch me!"
The tears were coming even faster now, enough so that I could barely even see. Even so, I could make out Noah, looking oddly distraught. "Please, let me help! Tell me what's wrong!" He called out.
"No!" I tried to say, though all that came out was a strangled cry – I was in agony, clawing at my back trying to relieve myself of the pain.
Noah reached towards me again, trying to grab me and pull me towards him. "Get away!" I shouted, stumbling further back from him.
But I hadn't realised just how close I was to the archway. As I stepped backwards, my foot landed on the open air instead of the stone floor of the room, and suddenly I was falling backwards.
The air rushed past me, and it was all that I could hear. It muffled out the sound of Noah calling out my name – I could see him stood above where my room was, staring down at me in complete shock.
Could a fall kill me? Could I survive a fall from such a great height? I hoped that I could... though I wasn't sure how much force my body could handle. I was glad that I wasn't facing the ground – that I wasn't going to have to watch the ground grow closer and closer.
I noticed a flap of wings above me that indicated Noah had taken off after me, but he was going to be too late.
I could barely concentrate on him now, the pain in my shoulders was so blindingly intense.
But all of a sudden, there was a relief. Suddenly I was weightless, suddenly... I was flying.
Looking back over my shoulder, all that I could see was something huge, white, and covered in feathers.
Wings.
I knew that I must be close to the ground now, but without even thinking I beat the two wings through the air, and I shot up a few metres into the sky.
I breathed a great sigh of relief, I was falling more upright now, and the ground was just a few metres below me.
Unfortunately for me, the most I could get out of the wings in that moment was a twitch, I seemed to have forgotten how to make them fly.
I fell to the ground abruptly, crashing into a small heap on the ground, which was a little softer than it looked.
I felt slightly bruised, though there seemed to be no damage done.
A few seconds later, a pair of hands were reaching for me. I grabbed them eagerly, feeling confused. On my back... was a gigantic pair of wings.
The hands pulled me back, and I got up to my feet, peering at the wings – though it was difficult to see them without a mirror, I could tell instantly that they were a little smaller than regular angel wings. And their tips were neither silver or gold, they were simply white – each feather the same exact colour.
"I promise I didn't know about your mother." Noah said – he had apparently been the one to bring me to my feet. "I didn't know what they had done with her, I presumed they had flown her to the nearest hospital. That's what they said." He told me quickly. "We never discussed it, we were preoccupied finding the one, I guess. Though I can't imagine why they would continue to lie about it once she was reported missing. I think perhaps that the Reed ordered them not to talk about it while on Earth. I admit that I had a feeling something was up... neither of them would speak to me about Lori."
"You... you really didn't know?" I said quietly, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted from my chest.
He nodded. "I would have told you."
"I want to speak to Jasmine and Travis. I... I saw Travis already, but he wouldn't tell me... I want to hear their side too." I asked.
He nodded again. "He was unable to speak about it on Earth. All the angels have been called back to Heaven, I will find them for you."
"Okay." I whispered.
"I'm sorry, Emilia." He told me, holding my hands in his. "I can tell that this has been hurting you."
I shook my head. "It... it wasn't your fault. You didn't know. I'm sorry for accusing you."
"I should have told you that I thought something might be up. I just... I didn't want to worry you."
I nodded slowly, looking back at my wings again and slowly stroking the soft feathers. "I'm upset that you didn't tell me but... I'm not mad. I think I just... need some time to think."
He nodded, "Do you want to talk about..." He gestured to my wings.
I shook my head. "No. Just tell me how to um... put them back in." Truthfully, I didn't feel too much like talking about them with Noah, about my shock, my joy. I didn't lie when I said I wasn't mad anymore, but I knew that I needed to think things through before I could truly be myself around him again. No one can let go of hurt that easily – I just needed some time.
He smiled softly, "Can you feel them? It's just like... pure energy. Reach out, and draw it in."
I did as he said, and true to his words, I could feel a sort of energy. It didn't take the exact form of wings, it was more like a big bubble that surrounded me – it was easy to reign it in, as simple as lifting a hand. I felt them slide smoothly back within me. It felt as though there was a slight pressure within me, like they wanted to be brought out once more.
But I needed time to think, and though I wasn't supposed to – that meant going back to Earth.
There was only one person that I (reluctantly) trusted enough to help me now.
"Thank you." I told Noah. He smiled again, and reached down, planting a gentle kiss upon my forehead. It felt so familiar, accompanied by a flurry of butterflies in my stomach. But there was something else... something that made me feel guilty.
Something that shouldn't be there.
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