"I can't do this Camie. I thought I could, but I can't."
"Literally all you have to do is not study this week," Camie grabs my A.P. Psychology textbook out of my grasp.
"Hey!" I try to snatch it from her, but she holds it behind her back.
She shakes her head, "I will be confiscating this until further notice."
Today is Monday, which means it's time to jump-start our plan. In translation, I have to flunk out of my advanced placement classes. . . I'm having some difficulty doing so.
"You're a terrible influence," I glare at my best friend.
Camie shrugs her shoulders in response before narrowing her eyes onto something behind me. . . Someone, rather.
"What is it?"
Camie grabs my arm, pulling me into an empty classroom.
"It's the K&B's," she whispers.
"Crap," I pull my hoody further over my head.
Apparently, neither of us thought to see the flaw in getting my hair dyed so soon. I still have to attend school in order to flunk out of my classes, meaning, everyone will see my new hair.
Last night, when Camie and I were binging 'Barbie School,' movies, that fact suddenly dawned upon both of us.
"You have to make sure that you keep that thing on," Camie scowls.
I shoot her an annoyed glare, "And what if a teacher asks me to take it off?"
"Then just do what I do," Camie peaks out the door, "Ignore them."
My eyes widen, "But Cami-"
She brings her finger to her lips and moves to leave the room, "No buts Ashlyn, we've got to get to class."
With that, she exits the room, leaving me to contemplate why on earth I'm agreeing to do this.
Waiting a few moments after Camie's departure, I force myself to exit the room.
As I make my way into my A.P Calculus class, my hands begin to shake, so I force them in my pants pockets.
"I can do this. Just don't pay attention, don't answer the questions. . . Pretend like you weren't prepared for the pop-quiz."
"Good Morning, Ashlyn," my teacher greets me.
"Good morning, Mrs. Tate," I mutter before taking a seat, which earns me a confused look from the teacher.
Every morning last week, I would come in, and ask for the following day's assignment.
When everyone has arrived, Mrs. Tate stands from her desk and begins her lesson.
"Please open your textbooks to page 10. This should all be familiar, because I know you all paid attention last year, right?" I hear a few groans from the students around me, all except Melissa, of course.
Having spent three months alone, I did a lot of preparing for my courses. I made sure that I remembered everything I learned last year, as well as the first few things I would learn this year. . . I suppose that was all for nothing.
Pulling me out of my thoughts, I notice that Mrs. Tate has written an equation on the board.
"Before we begin, I have a little game for you all. This is something I've done will all my classes, and will continue to do for the rest of the year. The first person to tell me the correct answer to this problem is exempt from this Friday's quiz," my teacher lets out a small smirk, now knowing that she has grabbed their attention.
Taking a moment to evaluate the problem, I instinctively pull out my notebook to start solving it. Within a minute, I have my answer. I begin to raise my hand before I hear Camie's voice in my head. I have to flunk out of this class.
Bringing my hand back down, I notice Melissa staring at me, a confused expression overtaking her face. We may not be friends anymore, but she knows me better than most. If anyone could figure out what I'm planning, it would be her. To avoid her intense stare, I avert my eyes to my textbook, pretending to study.
_____________
"Are you okay?"
I slam my locker door shut, only to be greeted by Melissa.
"Excuse me?" I scoff, slightly surprised at her concern.
I've known this girl for almost 6 years, and even when we were friends, she was never one to be sensitive to someone's feelings.
She lets out a small glare, "You don't have to be rude, Ashlyn. . . I was just making sure you're alright. By the looks of it, you're fine," Melissa begins to turn around before she meets my eyes. "I've watched you work way too hard to get where you are. Just don't go losing your nerd status on me, alright?
Melissa stares at me for a few seconds longer before spinning herself around and walking away.
"What was that all about?" I hear my best friends' voice behind me.
I shrug my shoulders, "Beats me."
"You know, I still can't believe that you were ever friends with her," Camie states as we begin walking to our next class.
I glance over at my best friend, my brows furrowed, "Why is that? We're basically the same person."
She chuckles lightly, slinging her backpack over her shoulders, "Yeah, I guess you're right. . . She just doesn't seem like the kind of person you would've hung out with."
Stopping in my tracks, I gently tug at Camie's arm, causing her to turn around and face me. I've known Camie for a long time, and something feels off.
"Camie, is something wrong?" I place my hand on her shoulder, stopping her from walking any further.
"What are you talking about?"
"Camie, I know you, and I can tell when something is wrong. Since when do you pay any attention to Melissa?"
Her eyes trail down to her feet, "I just-I heard you two talking and. . . Am I pushing you too hard to do this?"
"No-" I hesitate.
Camie brings her hand to her forehead, "Great," she shakes her head slowly. "I guess I'm a shittier friend than I thought."
"Camie, you're not. . . You're really not, I'm sorry. . . I want to do this, believe me. I mean, look at this," I shuffle through my bag and pull out my math paper, holding it out to her. "I forced myself to write down ten wrong answers out of fifteen. If that doesn't show you I'm serious, I don't know what will."
Camie bites her lip, suppressing a laugh, earning her a shove from me.
"Hey, it's not funny, that was really challenging."
She hands the paper back to me, "You did good Ashlyn, I'm proud of you."
"Hm, I'm starting to think you may not be the best influence-congratulating me for failing a math paper."
Camie wraps her arm around my shoulder, "Oh Ashlyn, you should have figured that out a long time ago."
____________
All week I've forced myself to act like I don't belong in advanced placement-never raising my hand, purposefully writing down the wrong answers, etc. I've decided that I should consider being an actress-because my performance paid off.
Today is Thursday, and I've just been called into the principles office to, "discuss my academic downfall."
"Miss. Breyers, are you listening to me?" The voice of Mrs. Nellie, our principle, pulls me out of my thoughts, and back into reality.
"Yes, Ma'am, I'm listening," I assure her, gesturing for her to continue.
Mrs. Nellie folds her hands in front of her, her eyes dripping with concern, "Miss. Breyers, you have always been one of our top performing students, and I understand that it's only the second week back, but the decline in your work ethic has me worried for your academic future."
I hesitate for a moment before responding. What am I supposed to say? "Yeah, sorry Mrs. Nellie, I'm trying to fail my classes as a part of my plan to avenge my sister.". I think not.
Before I have the chance to think up a good response, she speaks again. This time, her voice is quiet and weary.
"I was very saddened to hear what happened to your sister. I don't believe I ever got the opportunity to give you my condolences."
The mention of Bryn forces me to bring my eyes down to my lap. Even with all the scheming to avenge her, nothing makes Bryn's death feel more real than when someone offers their condolences.
"Thank you."
She gives me a small smile before looking down at my file, "Anyway, Miss. Breyers, I think it would be in your best interest if we remove you from your advanced placement classes for the time being. . . If I find that you are able to prove yourself in your new classes, we can talk about adding you back in."
So this is it. This is what it feels like to have all your hard work come back to you. If me failing my A.P classes is a good thing, then why do I feel like absolute crap?
Probably because I just ruined my chance at a good future. I shake the thought from my head. This is it, this kickstarts everything.
"Ashlyn, that's great!" Camie whisper-yells over the phone. After I exited Mrs. Nellie's office, my first task was to call her and let her know what had happened.
"Why are you whispering?"
A hear the faint sound of keys being hit on a computer.
"I'm in the process of changing your name in the system. . . You never did tell me what you want it to be. It has to be remotely close to your name so that no one asks questions."
I had never really thought up a name, to be honest.
"Do I have to come up with one right at this second?"
I can almost feel her rolling her eyes through the phone, "Yeah, actually, you do. I could literally get caught at any moment here, so yes, do take your time."
I think about it for a moment, "What about Ashley?"
"Nah, too obvious," Camie responds, causing me to groan in frustration.
"I don't know then, you pick."
"But-" I hang up on her.
Hopefully, I don't regret that later.
Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, make a sharp left towards the exit of the school. I still have two classes left today, but based on the last bit of phase two in our plan, I have to leave sooner.
Tomorrow at school, Camie is going to spread the rumor that I transferred. Most people won't care-or even know who I am for that matter, but we need the news to get to the K&B's. The week after the next, I will return to school, but not as Ashlyn.
Before I can make it out the door, which is only a few feet away, I run smack dab into a hard chest.
"Damnit," I hear the voice mutter, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm great," a hint of sarcasm leaks through my voice. Right now, my only priority is shielding my hair from whoever I just bumped into.
A hand is held out to me, and with a bit of hesitation, I take it. After I rise to my feet, I'm greeted with a familiar face-Avery.
"Ashlyn?"
I find myself at a loss for words. Part of me wants to bolt in the other direction, but for some reason, my feet stay put.
"It is, Ashlyn, right?" Avery's face morphs into one of confusion when once again, I don't respond. My mind is working at a million miles a minute trying to decide what the right approach is here.
"Yeah, that's me," I bring my eyes down to my feet. I haven't interacted with Avery much, so I know he doesn't have my face memorized. I can't have him recognizing me later on.
"Do you think that I could talk to you for a second? I-It wouldn't take long, I promise," Avery gulps, almost like he's nervous.
"I really don't have time right now. I have to get home," I try to move past him.
"Wait please-just let me say one thing," Avery's face looks almost panicked.
A shaky sigh leaves my mouth, "Go ahead," I gesture at him to speak.
"I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about your sister. . . I don't know how much you know, but I'm sorry about all of it," Avery rakes his hand through his hair.
Once again, I can't find the words to respond to him. The look of sadness on his face almost makes me want to give him a hug-so that's what I do.
Taking a step forward, I wrap my arms around the almost stranger, "Thank you."
Almost immediately, his arms wrap around my body. It crosses my mind that this is probably the most intimate I've ever been with a boy. I barely know Avery, but somehow I'm more comforted at this moment than I have been since Bryn died.
"What the hell is going on here?" A voice makes Avery and I jump away from each other.
"Shit," Avery mutters to himself when we see who it is. Standing before us is the remainder of the K&B's.
I take a quick glance at Avery, who's previously saddened face has hardened. "I-I, Avery was just-" I begin before Avery cuts me off.
"I was just trying to get to class when this slut just came and threw herself at me," He turns to face me, "I mean, how desperate are you?"
My face contorts from surprise to confusion as I stare at him. A high pitched laugh rings in my ears as Josie steps forward, "Who knew Miss. Goody-two-shoes over here could be such a slut."
I can feel my anxiety levels begin to rise, as they always do when I encounter the six people in front of me. Unlike last week at lunch, Camie isn't here to be my voice.
I yank on my hood a little to ensure it isn't falling off, my eyes going to the ground.
"I guess it's a good thing her sister isn't here to see what she's become," Josie's statement makes my eyes snap up to meet hers.
"Excuse me?"
Josie laughs, and steps towards me, her friends a few feet behind."Oh, I guess she does speak. Go ahead slut, say something else."
"Listen. You can say all you want about me, but you leave my sister out of it."
That statement took mustering up all of the courage I store in my body, but it was worth it. I should have started speaking up for myself a long time ago. Starting next week, I get to be someone else, someone confident, someone whose name I do not yet know.
Josie snaps her fingers as if to call the rest to back her up. When no one speaks, she snaps her head around to look at them. Although I can't see her face, I imagine that she's shooting daggers at them.
Taking advantage of her distraction, I quietly, but quickly make my way to the exit door. Just as I begin to slide it open, I notice Dylan's face is staring right at me. For a quick moment, I think I've been caught and I start to rush out the door, but no one comes after me. . . He didn't say anything.
I'm beginning to think that these people have a lot more depth to them than I thought. . . In exactly ten days, I'll get to find out.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Hello again! Long time no see. I'm sorry it's been so long. . . Life just has a way of making itself busy. Basically, I've been working on this chapter periodically since I posted the last one. I did a little bit of proof-reading, but it may be a little choppy since I've written so many different parts at different times. Please let me know if you see any major mistakes that need to be corrected.
Anyway, happy holiday season! Please feel free to let me know what you liked-and even what you didn't. There is always room for improvement! Don't forget to comment and vote!
See you soon,
Sophie <3