{This Photo is Raje }
I go by the name of Raje, a moniker as exotic as my mama's wild imagination. It's that Hindi flavor, meaning "secret," but folks out here steady trippin' tryna pronounce it right. They be callin' me "Rah-G" when it should be "Ra-Jay." Straight disrespect. But nah, my name ain't got nothin' to do with bein' gay, despite what y'all might assume. Back in the day, I was just a happy baby, bouncin' with joy.
But them days are long gone now.
I'm nineteen, fresh outta high school since May, and right now it's June. If y'all tryna vibe with the crazy rollercoaster that flipped my life upside down, I gotta spill a lil' somethin' about who I am.
Love? That ain't even in my vocab, fam. Mama used to say, "Expect nothin' but the best, and you'll be blessed." But I'm still waitin' on that blessin' to come through.
I ain't settlin' for less, though. Best believe that.
Family? I don't got much left. I had a brother, but the streets snatched him away, a victim of senseless violence. Both my parents were 'round once, but things changed real quick. Pancreatic cancer took my mama just two months shy of my graduation, and my pops, well, he locked up, always been a dog. So, you know, I see him as good as dead.
Me and my pops? We ain't vibin', not with him locked away like that. Got a few half-sibs out there I ain't never met. Daddy was a straight-up player, and his playin' cost my mama her whole fam's support.
Now, I know what y'all thinkin'. "Damn, that's why she so cold-hearted 'bout love. Daddy issues messin' her up." But nah, that ain't the real deal. Every move I make, every word I spit, it's 'bout me, no one else.
My girl Ivory, she stay pushin' me to find a man. But I can't take her advice too serious, 'cause her own man, Marcus, stay playin' her. They been together for four years, but them years mean jack when loyalty ain't in the picture. He straight dogged Ivory, cheatin' left and right, even got two kids with some chick named Tasha. I'm steady tellin' Ivory to bounce, find herself someone better. But she always hit me back with, "Bitch, I love him."
I hate that word, love. Only said it to three peeps in this world—my mama, my brother, and Ivory.
Anyway, commitment ain't my thing 'cause nothin' lasts forever, ya feel me? It's all just temporary moments of happiness, leavin' scars and shattered hearts in its wake. That's how this game goes, and not everyone gonna survive.