I Will Be "Wonderful"
First Person of Kasia Durban
***
“Kasia Durban, I have only one question for you,” he stared at me deeply. My heart beat a million times per minute in my chest. The fear of losing all I’d worked for hung in the balance of this one question. His face was serious I couldn’t decipher if his emotionless stare meant he was holding back the news I’d always longed to hear or just another disappointment. I began to fidget under the spotlight, the stage growing just a bit too hot. If he didn’t cut the suspense I might pass out. I scrunched my fingers together into fists while I waited with baited breath for the results.
“Where have you been?” His face broke into a broad smile. I sighed in relief and placed my hand over my heart to slow its pace.
“I’m serious, that dancing was spec-TAC-ular!” he gushed emphasizing his words. “You have got to singlehandedly be the best dancer I have seen yet. Where have you been during these brutal weeks of auditions?”
“So do I get the job?” I questioned thinking this was too good to be true.
“Get the job?! Honey, you were made for this job!”
I pumped my fists in the air in triumph, “Yes thank you, Mr. Lankley. You won’t be disappointed. I’m going to put everything I have into this, heart and soul.”
“I sure hope so and if I see more of what I saw up here today…you are one hell of a star, Kasia. I can see you headlining our stage. How would you like to start this Saturday? Come by the studio tomorrow at three pm to practice and meet your new partner.” He handed me a card with the address and then walked away satisfied.
“P-partner?” I swallowed nervously.
“See you then kid,” the door clicked behind him leaving me alone on stage.
I looked down at the card, and then it all sunk in I screamed in joy and started doing a victory dance on stage doing cartwheels and handstands all over the place. I, Kasia Durban, was the newest dancer for Dinner and a Show. Dinner and a Show was the coolest place to be right now, a swanky place offering a great meal and some dining entertainment. The man I had just met and auditioned for, Mr. Lankley, was the manager of the restaurant and coincidently the talent scout. Dinner and a Show wasn’t cheap, rather majorly expensive. But who wouldn’t pay their prices for the food which is to die for and also the accompanying breathtaking talent. Only top notch dancers got through the grueling auditions. Basically right now I was living the dreams of every dancer in Chicago. I couldn’t get too excited just yet, I mean I’m new I could be cut for the smallest of things. Then I remembered something I had forgotten in my burst of giddiness. Partner. How will I ever? I can’t possibly dance with another person. It’ll just ruin everything.
“Why hello. Are you the new dancer?” said a boy amongst the crowd of tables and chairs.
I jumped at the sound of his voice. Then I realized he had asked me a question, but I still stood there frozen staring back wide-eyed.
“What’s the matter? I won’t bite,” he grinned, “much.” He pulled himself up onto the stage and began to knead his feet getting them ready to dance.
I couldn’t even get a laugh out, I stood tall just staring at him completely serious.
“Jeez, it’s a joke,” he smiled. “I’m Gavin.” He held out his hand to shake.
I didn’t shake it. I couldn’t. Come on Kasia respond anything! “Kasia,” I replied flatly. Alright, at least I’m getting somewhere.
“So…you dance right?” he asked
I thought it a silly question. My attire was a sports bra, spandex shorts, and a wife-beater and I was still sweaty from my audition. “Yes,” I replied.
“Then why’re you so serious? Cut loose, have some fun.”
“Well I do usually. It’s just you,” I tried to exit but he blocked my pathway.
“Move,” I scowled.
“No.”
He reached out to me and I backed away. He reached again and I leaned back like in Matrix. He reached out again but changed tactics coming in from underneath I avoided his touch. He grinned. The sick bastard he was making a game out of this. I was dodging his touch, flipping rolling under, jumping doing anything to avoid him. Finally after a while, he was so focused on his attack he had left the exit unblocked. I avoided one last attack where he was running at me, charging sick of me avoiding him he fell off the stage in a heap and I ran for the exit. I got in my car quickly and locked the doors. I breathed a sigh of relief. Phew! That was a close one. As I pulled out of the parking space, I saw Gavin who was leaning against the door with a smirk. I turned onto the highway and drove back to my apartment. Once I pulled into the garage, I was instantly happy again struck with what had just happened. Finally, I was a professional dancer. No more bedroom recitals, no more pretending, no more watching So You Think You Can Dance and imitating all the moves of my favorite dancer. No more I say, for now I am a professional. Ooh! Just the word; professional. Pro-fess-ional. I could get used to that.
“Good afternoon Miss Durban.”
“Good afternoon professional…whoops, I mean Reginald. Oh boy, sorry.” Could I be more of a bonehead?
Reginald, the doorman to my apartment building smiled politely and held the door open for me. I made sure not to brush against him as I walked through. That would only end disastrously the doorman I interact with everyday, and also who was more than twice my age, in love with me. I don’t need another hopeless romantic follower. I opened the door to the stairs, and began to ascend them. I lived quite a few floors up, but I didn’t mind taking the stairs. Elevators were too risky. I approached my apartment door and unsheathed the key from my pocket. I unlocked the door and with a burst of excitement, made my way to the kitchen to open the specially aged merlot I had been saving for weeks. With the bottle uncorked, the aroma filled the air; light and airy with little acidity this will definitely be one of my favorites.
My phone was lying on the counter before me. I picked it up and dialed Lisa’s number. Lisa was my best friend from college. Lisa was one of the Performing Arts majors like me. Lisa was an actor. She most recently got a part in a big budget musical movie. Who knew she could sing too? Lisa and I had met when we were only freshman. She asked me if I had an eraser she could borrow. I have no idea how we went from sharing supplies to sharing secrets but we did. Lisa was one of the only people I had ever told about my problem not even my mother knew.
The phone rang only once before I heard, “Hello dawling.”
“Liss,” I smiled into the phone.
“What is it? I can’t be bothered. I have very important actory business to deal with,” she said in a posh tone.
“Hmmm…too bad real actors don’t say actory,” I giggled.
“Alright you got me. What’s up?”
“Well I just had to call to tell you the big news. I’m-”
“Pregnant?” she interrupted.
“No I’m…”
“Abducted by aliens and forced to be their house pet.”
“Would you stop interrupting me?” I couldn’t believe the imagination on this girl.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Well I am the newest dancer of Dinner and a Show; the most prestigious dancing gig in all of Chicago.”
“OMG! I am so happy for you. Look at us big city girls raking in the cash,” she commented.
“I just had to call you. I got to say I’m super excited. I'm performing this Saturday," I told excitedly.
"Wow great job Kasia. You must've really impressed the big man. Tell you what I'll fly out there in time to see your first performance," Lisa said back.
"But…there’s only one problem,” I sighed bringing myself back to reality.
“What? It sounds like a pretty sweet deal. What drawbacks could there be to your glorious takeover of Chicago, the windy city. You’ll be like Roxie only twenty times bigger because she’s a fictitious play character.”
“Well I have to dance with a partner. A male partner.”
“Ouch,” she winced.
“You could say that again,” I replied defeated.
“Ouch,” Lisa replied. Lisa, for being my best friend, can be pretty daft, either that or purposefully ditzy. I think it’s the latter of the two. Or at least I really hope she does it purposely. It wasn’t so bad though most times it succeeded in making me laugh. When I was down, Lisa always knew the way to cheer me up.
“I didn’t want you to actually repeat it. It’s an expression, Liss. You know? Like your eyes are bigger than your stomach.”
“Well if my eyes are bigger than my stomach, I must be an alien. If I’m the alien then…you’re my house pet,” she replied.
I face palmed, “Someday I’ll teach you what expressions are. Anyway, Liss, what am I going to do? I can’t just show up at the studio and refuse to dance with my partner. That would be a major turnoff and I could be canned for that. I refuse to sound like I’m a spoiled brat who can’t share the spotlight.”
“Well as I see it there are a few options. You could start dancing by yourself and maybe they wouldn't notice. Or be disgusted by your partner but that would only work if he was unattractive. Or maybe...dance with him.”
“I will NOT dance with him!” I stated firmly.
“You could pretend to be allergic to him,” she laughed.
“Maybe that could work bring some pepper and sniff it around him to make me sneeze. Eventually they’d let me dance alone worried I’d get an allergic attack,” I proposed sounding hopeful.
“You call me the crazy one in our relationship,” Lisa tsked.
“Well I’m not the one that was afraid to date Sheldon because I had a dream where he hunted alligators with a croquet mallet.”
“Hey! That dream was really realistic,” she complained.
“What does hunting alligators have to do with dating?” I asked with a smile.
“Well if he has the power to make an alligator motionless with one swing, what chance do I stand. What if I piss him off? Then he could break my jaw with his mallet. And then I couldn’t talk you through your mess now. See how the case applies.”
My eye twitched, “You know that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Sheldon liked you. He wasn’t out to…break your jaw or whatever you’re worried about.”
“But I can still imagine him coming at me with that mad look in his eye. If I had given him a chance, I'd have flinched at everything he did. At least this way, since I don't know Sheldon, I don't live in fear that he hides a croquet mallet under his bed,” she replied.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. Finally a smile slipped on my face, “Okay well Liss, I’ll call you later.”
“Don’t let the aliens get you, not even me. BLAH!” she yelled into the phone making monster noises.
I removed the receiver away from my ear to avoid damage to my eardrum then hung up the phone with a raised eyebrow. How was I even friends with that girl? She was totally insane. But I guess that was what made her so loveable. She was so childlike you couldn’t help but want to look out for her. Make sure she was alright and be overprotective when she’s around guys.
The stress that was in store for me tomorrow built up on my shoulders and I began to feel tense. The glass of wine on the counter shone from the windows reflection making it appear to be smiling at me; inviting me closer towards it. I picked it up gingerly and sipped it some more. Mmm, this wine was very good. Wine this good needs something bigger than a kitchen celebration. I feel tense anyway so a nice bubble bath should calm my nerves about tomorrow. I ran my tub and dumped some rose oil in along with rose scented bubble bath. I watched as the water hit the bottom of the tub and the bubble bath caused it to froth with little white bubbles. The smell of roses hit the air and soon the bathroom was immersed in it. I undressed and dunked in immediately relaxing and allowing the stress to melt off my body. The warm water felt soothing to my achy and sore body. Whenever I became too stressed with things, I took a step back and relaxed more often than not with a calming rose bubble bath.
While in a bubble bath, I can forget about the stresses of the day and escape reality at least for a little bit until it comes knocking at my door. Then I heard it. I found it funny that my mind liked to pull tricks on me reminding me how close the reality was by allowing me to hear knocking noises right as I said that. Then I head it again. The knocking. I then realized there was really someone at my apartment door. I heard more knocking, then the doorbell. Whoever it was they really wanted to see me. I decided to ignore it I mean they eventually have to leave assuming I’m not home.
I waited but five minutes past and all I had succeeded in doing was getting the person on the other side of the door more impatient. The knocks were harder, the doorbell incessant and as if that weren’t enough then the phone rang. Well one thing I did know, the phone wouldn’t ring more for the only person who knew my home number was my mother who had set it up. Knocking I could handle but not the never-ending bring-bring of the phone. Yet against my wishes the phone continued to ring. Confirming my fear; my mother was on the other end of the door.
It wasn’t that I disliked my mother she was sweet and kind, but on occasion she is maybe too kind exercising her motherly rights to snoop her nose where it doesn’t belong; especially in my love life. You see, my mom isn’t the ‘oh my baby girl is pure’ type rather she believes me to be a floozy all from one hormonal diary entry that she spied her way into. While normal parents bought their daughter’s perfume or make-up or even clothes, my mom from fifteen would buy me condoms and other arrays of horrors. You can imagine my disgust and embarrassment at opening them. I guess that’s one reason I’m lucky I never knew my dad, at least this way I don’t have another pair of eyes to watch unwrap another gift from psycho mom. But even if there was no one to watch, it was still mortifying. She would always wink and say, “I know I got exactly what you wanted. No need to thank me.” My birthdays always followed in this pattern and if you didn’t proceed to thank her immediately after she’d said that she wouldn’t talk to you for the rest of the night. She’s a bit weird and intrusive but she means well I can tell.
Finally, after realizing the phone, the doorbell, and the knocking wouldn’t stop any time soon I got out of my tub. I put on a robe and answered the door. There stood my mom with a huge smile on her face. Her hand mid-knock her other hand placed on the doorbell her phone scrunched between her cheek and shoulder.
“Mom would you stop with the racket already,” I sighed.
“I knew you were home, which according to my clock is a very bad thing. It’s 7:30 Kasia time to be going out and partying. Not staying inside at home all alone drinking...” she invited herself in and I shut the door behind her, she looked at the glass in my hand, “well at least it’s alcoholic.”
I rolled my eyes, “You realize you are the complete opposite of every mother and everything a mother stands for. You’re telling me to go out and party and to drink. What kind of mother are you?”
“I’m your mother and I say we need some ass up in here for a celebration,” she smiled.
“Ass? Do you hear yourself? Mom, you’re not a gangster,” I retorted.
“Oh come on let me have my fun. I’m almost forty. These are my golden years.”
“Alright but still if by ass you mean a bunch of stranger men I’m going to be wise and say no. I remember what happened last time.”
“So what? It was just a small fire. Please, please, please Kasia,” she begged.
“Why do I feel like the adult here?” I questioned.
“Geez girl, you’re no fun. Why don’t you cut loose and enjoy life. YOLO!”
“Okay you did not just say yolo!"
"I did 'cause Kasia you need to get out more. Be more carefree, you take your dancing too seriously. Experience life and enjoy yourself and occasionally get smashed."
"You're actually the second person that has said words to that effect to me today, well excluding the get drunk part,” I responded reflecting over my interaction with Gavin.
“Oh I see,” she grinned mischievously.
“What is it?” I rolled my eyes.
“You like him,” she replied childishly.
“Um, I never said it was a guy who said it,” I raised my eyebrow in confusion.
“Didn’t have to I know all.”
“Oh really all knowing one. What else do you know?”
She rubbed her temples, “You just got a job. It’s fancy. Um, Dinner and a Show.”
“How did you-”
Maybe my mom was psychic.
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Picture of Kasia on the side. Inspiration for the title is the video --------------->