With their sleds ready, Tonraq and Ciara bringing up the rear, they set off.
"This is good," Tonraq said, bringing his sled as close as he could to hers. The wind masked his words. "We can let them lead us straight to the guardians."
"We can wait for another chance to attack," Ciara replied. "They're too trusting." She was filled with a strange mix of relief and disappointment that she had not managed to do it. She hated the churning in her gut and wished she could just get it over with, but it was easier said than done.
What a mess she had made of things.
"It would have been helpful if Sköll had decided to stick around," Tonraq said.
Ciara clutched the vegvisir. "I miss him," she admitted.
"Even though you knew him for less than a day?"
"We faced death together. I've never had to rely on someone so completely before. It might sound ridiculous, but I felt like he was the first person to meet me and completely accept me, unlike everyone from Nome."
"What about me?"
"We grew up together, it's different. You watched me slowly turn into the person I am now. But he... he immediately understood."
"I suppose I can understand that."
"You're more important, of course."
"I should hope so!" he said. "I'm glad you didn't kill Fell."
"I'm not just giving up," Ciara snapped, and he said no more. The tension between them was a real, tangible thing, interrupting what had once been an easy, close friendship. Its loss was like having a limb cut off.
Ciara had to get her bola back. She trained her sights on Isa, who had tied it to her belt like a trophy, obviously mocking her. Ciara was determined to swipe it back. A bola couldn't kill, there was no reason she shouldn't have it.
They glided through the snow and between clumps of trees with Fell in the lead. Mountains were ghostly shadows in the distance, half-hidden by mist, and hills dotted the land around them. The ground sloped and they headed into a lush valley where pines, larches and undergrowth grew, protected from the harshest winter wind.
"We can stop to hunt here and eat while we tell you our plans," Fell said, looking over his shoulder. "This is as good a place as any to find game. Isa, build a fire here while we track. The girl stays with you."
"I can hunt," Ciara said. "I'm probably better than all of you put together –"
"I don't trust you to wield weapons."
"Can't someone else stay with her?" Isa shot Ciara a furious look, as if she had made the decision, not Fell.
"You're capable and I know you won't let her out of your sight. Sebastian, Tonraq, this way."
Oh, so Tonraq was addressed like an equal, but Ciara was just 'the girl', was she? Fury smouldered in her blood.
Ciara didn't miss Tonraq's worried look before he vanished behind trees.
Fell's sister busied herself collecting dead or dying branches, which would be drier than healthy ones and so would burn better. She blinked when Ciara dropped to her knees beside her in the snow and started to assemble the fire, propping bits of wood up to leave plenty of air gaps.
"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.
"Helping. What does it look like? I don't fancy eating meat that's half raw, I want a proper fire."
Scowling, Isa shook some tinder out at the base of the pile and struck a spark with expert speed. Flames caught onto the wood shavings and spread fast, flickering.
Every muscle in Ciara's body went taut at the sight of Isa so focused on her work. She moved before she could even think through her plan, grabbing the hair at the back of Isa's neck and shoving her face close to the flames.
Isa squawked and struggled, trying to claw at her, but her face was too close to the heat and smoke.
"If you move, I'll bury your head in the fire," Ciara whispered, fighting to keep her voice steady as she pulled the bola out of her belt.
"You – wouldn't – dare." But Isa was panting. Ciara realised she was afraid, in that moment of vulnerability. The fire... it frightened her.
She didn't want to kill this woman, not when Darius's blood pact was with Fell alone. She would not turn into a heartless murderer, no matter what happened and no matter what Tonraq thought.
Ciara released her and ran for the trees. A feral roar ripped from Isa's throat. Five steps and she would be in the forest, able to hide and search for Tonraq so they could get away and plan their next move... four steps... three, two...
A body, tall and solid as an oak, emerged between two trees. Ciara smashed into Fell with so much force that she rebounded.
"Isa, are you all right?" Fell asked, his eyes widening in alarm when he noticed the fire.
In that moment, as he was distracted, Ciara pulled a knife from her belt and brought it to his throat.
"No!" Tonraq and Sebastian crashed through the undergrowth. They froze when they realised what was happening.
Ciara tightened her grip so the knife wouldn't shake. "Get on your knees. Now."
He dropped to his knees and she walked around him, her breath rasping in her throat. She grabbed his hair and pulled his head back, exposing his throat.
"Ciara, don't do it," Tonraq whispered. "You're better than this."
Sebastian was white-faced and shaking. "If you kill him, I swear I'll tear you limb from limb."
I'm about to kill a man. In cold blood. For the first time. His blood would stain her hands forever. She would watch his heart stop, she would hear his last rattling breath. All that energy and life, extinguished.
He had a family. Friends. They would cry, grieve for him.
Her mouth had gone dry.
"Well?" To her annoyance, Fell's voice was as strong and deep as ever. He didn't seem afraid. "Are you going to do it?"
"You don't understand, I have no choice."
"There's always a choice. You're just a girl. Don't let Darius turn you into a monster."
Ciara looked at Isa and Sebastian, who were fixated on her as if they were scared she would kill Fell if they blinked. Tonraq was shaking his head – he looked desperate.
If she did it, it would haunt her for the rest of her life. No matter what Darius said or did, no matter if both he and Cali stayed close to her side for the rest of her life, she would see Fell's face every time she closed her eyes, she knew it. It would carve a space out of her soul, lost forever.
She could feel Fell's pulse against the knife, and what little courage she had left evaporated.
Slowly, she lowered the blade. "You're right. I – I can't."
Tonraq breathed out shakily.
Quick as lightning, Fell was on his feet. He twisted one arm behind Ciara's back, pulled the knife and bolas out of her hand.
"Let go!" She tried to kick his shins, but he increased the pressure of his hold until her eyes watered.
Rufus barked and bounded towards Ciara, but Isa grabbed the dog's harness with both hands, holding him back.
"The little wretch just nearly killed both of us!" Isa spat. "If you're too weak to bleed her dry, I'll do it. She can't deny it now – she wants us dead."
"Please, hear us out," Tonraq said desperately. "Ciara made a mistake. She's scared, she isn't thinking straight."
Slowly, Fell's hold loosened.
She scrambled to her feet and flung herself back against a tree while Fell and Sebastian advanced. Now she had messed everything up. She was surrounded.
"Don't hurt her," Tonraq pleaded.
"I'm not a barbarian," Fell muttered back. "I do not kill in cold blood."
"Please – I let Isa go. I didn't kill – I can't kill any of you. I'm not a killer," Ciara said, the words tumbling out in a rush.
"But you nearly did it." Sebastian folded his arms, and there was no pity in his face.
They closed in until there was no gap in the semicircle, no way out.
"Why risk trying to get it back?" Fell lifted the bola.
She needed sympathy to save her... for now. Which meant she had to tell the truth, no matter how much she loathed it. "My father made it for me."
"Your father can show you how to carve more."
"No. He can't."
Silence fell, broken only by the tree spirits' incessant murmuring. The snowflakes felt like tears as they stuck to Ciara's cheeks and eyelashes.
"We've all lost people," Fell said. "That is the way of the Ice Age."
"Yes. Well. I've lost most of the ones I love, and... my sister is all I have left."
"Tell us the truth."
"I'm just a hunter," Ciara said, "from a village nearby. I'm trying to save my friend. I heard about the guardians – the decree – and I wanted to find them because I thought it would change my life." She refused to say more.
"Whether you know him or not, Darius is a man who toys with people, uses their weaknesses to his advantage." Fell slid a whale-bone knife from his belt. Ciara's heart stopped beating when he took a step closer. "Isa, Sebastian, go pluck and spit the grouse we caught."
"But –"
"Go." There was no refusing that voice.
She pressed back against the tree, lifting her chin in defiance. He'd just told Tonraq he wasn't a barbarian, but so far she had never seen him smile. If she got out of this alive...
Just as she braced herself for the tip of the knife to puncture her flesh and every muscle in Tonraq's body went taut, Fell dropped his arm and sliced through her belt, removing every blade she owned all at once. A mixture of relief and rage made her feel dizzy.
"I believe your story. I believe you are just a desperate person trying to save someone you love... and there's something else. Something I can sense but not identify. I believe there is more to this than any of us know, and perhaps finding the guardians will reveal more. If it's the reward you want, you can continue travelling with us so we can keep an eye on you. You'll earn your weapons back when you prove yourself trustworthy and noble," Fell rumbled, weighing the heavy belt in one hand. "The bola, too."
"Because you're so noble," Ciara sneered in an attempt to cover up her fear.
"Yes. I am."
"What if there's danger? Wolves, bears – what if something attacks us and I need the belt?"
He strode towards the fire. She could already smell and hear sizzling meat. "Then I'll pass you whatever you need to survive."
Ciara swore at him.
Sebastian looked up, his eyes darkening.
Tonraq put both hands over his face. "Guardians, help me," he muttered.
*
"I believe the Suzerain is wrong to announce that all guardians must be brought to him."
Ciara huddled against Tonraq, feeling defenceless and vulnerable without weapons, and they faced Fell, Isa and Sebastian across the fire. Sebastian was glaring daggers at her. Isa had released Rufus, who now pressed against Ciara's side.
Ciara bit into the grouse leg she held, savouring its crispy skin and fresh, juicy meat. Rufus watched every bite, whining softly. One would think he hadn't been fed in years, when in fact the dogs had already eaten their share.
"I'm sure he has his reasons," Tonraq said.
"I used to know Suzerain Fenris Pryor," Fell said. "Or, at least, I thought I did. The decree is bold, announcing that the Protectorate whole-heartedly believes in what most people think are rumours, and it's not something I would have expected of him."
"So the guardians are real?"
"Of course they are. I've seen one."
Ciara nearly dropped her leg.
"They are just as dangerous and powerful as the stories say. And because of that, some people – like Darius Ahlstrom, for example – want to capture them for their own gain."
That was a lie.
"I think that if the Protectorate does end up in possession of one, or more than one, it would be easier for anyone with bad intentions to take advantage of them, knowing where the guardians are. And if anything happened to a guardian, the balance of the world would be upset."
"What do you mean?" Tonraq asked.
Ciara remained stubbornly silent, still in turmoil about her failed assassination attempt and thinking of Cali and Darius. How disappointed they would both be, because not only had she run away, she had accomplished nothing, and still felt as scared and confused and purposeless as she'd ever been.
"Imagine if there was a species with one white soul, but no black soul to balance it out. Imagine if Munin, the black raven soul, went missing. Hugin would still be able to protect thought, which he was assigned to do when the world was created, but he wouldn't be able to fill in for Munin, who guards memory. Imagine the world without memory. We would continue to make the same mistakes and wage the same wars over and over again, never learning from history."
Ciara shuddered involuntarily as a cruel wind whipped through the forest, making the flames dance low.
"What are you going to do about it?"
"We want to find a guardian and warn them of the possible dangers. If they are prepared, they might be fine. I'm worried because the Suzerain hasn't made it clear enough what he wants to do with the guardians once he has them. Yes, he mentioned ending the Ice Age, but how?"
If she followed these people... if they led her straight to a guardian... she would be able to take it to the Suzerain, no matter what Fell said. The Suzerain himself would be in her debt, shewould rise in society and make something of herself. New hope rose inside her like a tiny, quivering flame.
"Do you have any idea how to find one?" she asked.
She gritted her teeth when all three of them frowned at her before Fell answered.
"There's an ancient stone circle to the west, a monument from before the Ice Age and one of the only things to survive. I think it's connected to the guardians, I think it is a key to finding them."
"But you said you saw a guardian once," Tonraq said. "Why not go back to the same place and see if it's still there?"
"It's not that simple," Isa replied harshly. "They move around all the time. They never stay in one spot. Besides... we swore we'd never go back there."
"Where?" Sebastian asked. So he didn't know either – this was something only Fell and Isa shared. Interesting.
Isa did not reply.
Ciara and Tonraq exchanged a glance. Ciara gave him a tiny nod. She hated not being able to talk freely in front of the Midgarsons, but there was nothing they could do... yet.
This awful situation changed nothing. All she had to do was bide her time.