Clarissa awoke to the sound of rain hitting the windows of the women’s dormitory. The weak, grey light of a cloudy day was barely enough to illuminate the room so she rolled out of bed and lit a lamp for light. Myrna was already up and in one of the tubs so Clarissa washed and rinsed quickly, foregoing her usual morning soak in favour of avoiding conversation. Pulling her curtains closed around her bed, she pulled on the despicable clothing all students had to wear. Grabbing her hairbrush, she set herself to do battle with the thick, tangled mass of hair that puddled around her shoulders. She had given up wearing the cloak indoors a few weeks ago now but she still refused to braid her hair. Cutting it shorter was as much concession to practicality as she was willing to give into yet. The sounds of the other girls rousing drifted through the curtains as she tamed her unruly locks, tying them out of her way with a strip of leather. When she could hear that most of her room-mates had relocated to the washroom, she slipped quietly out the door and down to the dining hall.
The dining hall was unusually busy for this early in the morning. All the red-robed Instructors were already here and most of the few trained mage-pairs in residence were too. The paired students were already starting to trickle in so Clarissa glided across the floor to choose her breakfast before all the best stuff was gone. To her surprise and delight, the cooks had set aside a table of food just for those who would be tested with the Searching today and they had outdone themselves. Delicate apple-cinnamon pastries sprinkled with coarse sugar, stacks of pancakes with berry preserves and whipped cream, bran muffins with raisins....the variety was mouth-watering! She sighed regretfully. Remembering her mother’s warning to always be mindful of her figure, she chose only a muffin and a cup of tea. Choosing the end seat at the table she shared with the rest of the unpaired students, she sipped delicately from her cup.
The men showed up just as she was starting to eat. Jaim and Fenn rushed eagerly to the buffet table, pushing and shoving each other out of the way as they surveyed the breakfast bonanza with obvious delight.
“Remember to leave some for the ladies,” Talloran reminded them laughingly as they were heaping their plates. Clarissa chuckled to herself over their antics. Jaim and Fenn were certainly lacking in manners and a proper upbringing, but even she had to admit, they were entertaining! They were a lot like puppies she decided: rambunctious and undisciplined but they got away with everything because they were cute.
“Are you sure that’s all you want to eat?” Jerne asked her, eyeing her plate with concern as he set his down beside it. She jumped at seeing him unexpectedly. For such a huge man he could be remarkably inconspicuous when he wanted to be.
“Now why would you ask me that?” she wanted to know. “Clearly, if I wanted to eat anything else I would have chosen to put it on my plate.”
In answer he took a few pancakes off his own plate and slid them onto hers. “I asked you because I was hoping that you would reconsider your chosen breakfast,” he said, cutting up the pancakes for her. Horrified, Clarissa regarded the mess her plate had suddenly become. Jerne’s efforts had mashed the berry preserves into the pancakes and both were threatening to spill over the edge of her plate onto the clean, white tablecloth. She winced at the thought of trying to scrub the red berry juice out of the cloth during laundry duty. Not only that, but there was no way she could eat all of that food! She’d be sick for sure.
“I don’t want to reconsider,” she protested, trying to fend him off so she could return the mess to its former owner.
“Yes you do,” he stated confidently. “There’s a lot of nervous energy around on Searching day and it can be exhausting. Trust me when I say that you don’t want to face that on an empty stomach.”
“The muffin was fine,” she told him frostily, wondering where the rest of it had gone under all those pancakes.
Jerne sighed. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Fine,” she agreed sullenly, giving up on hunting down the rest of her muffin. Smothered in pancakes, she wasn’t going to find it easily and shifting them around would only make a mess on the tablecloth.
“So did you take my advice?” Jerne asked her, tucking into his own breakfast.
“Obviously not,” she said, ostentatiously pushing away her plate.
He snorted through his hawk-like nose. “I meant about accepting your fate if you should pass the Search today.” He eyed the pancakes meaningfully. “You should take that advice too, by the way.”
“No and no,” she responded coolly. “I have no intention of passing today or any other day,” she admitted quietly so no-one else could hear her. “Whatever test they give me, I will do everything I can to fail miserably.”
“Stubborn girl!” he accused her. “It’s impossible to fail on purpose you know.”
“Watch me,” she told him confidently. She eyed Karl coming to the table and decided she’d had enough of both breakfast and conversation. Karl was also testing for his last Search today and he was one person she would be glad to see fail and decide to leave! She wondered suddenly how long those who were allowed to leave had to make their preparations to go. She eyed Jerne uncertainly. She was surprised to realize that she was actually going to miss this brutish peasant if he failed today. In spite of his boorish lack of manners and inappropriate speech, he was the closest thing to a friend that she had here. Had anyone told her that she’d befriend a ham-handed farmer before her arrival here, she’d have laughed in their face.
“If you fail, will I see you again before you leave?” she asked.
Jerne’s heavy brows rose in surprise and he grinned. “I won’t leave without saying goodbye,” he promised.
Dris and Trin were already waiting in the student common room when she arrived so she chose a seat in the farthest corner under a window. Dris informed her they would wait for the other new recruits, explain the Search, and then all leave together for the general assembly hall. Clarissa turned her attention to the outdoors, focussing instead on the patterns the rain made as it ran down the window. The activity helped to take her mind off the events of the day and the worries they brought with them.
The others began to trickle in soon after, Tess and Kate practically bubbling over with excitement and speculating about what was to come next. Nervousness settled in Clarissa’s stomach and she was glad she hadn’t eaten much at breakfast. Failing this Search was so very important if she wanted to get her life back. She’d have to think quickly on her feet since the books on magic she was allowed access to in the library had contained no information on the Search at all. The waiting for everyone to arrive was the worst part and by the time the last person had assembled her stomach was twisting itself into knots with her anxiety. Outwardly she was utterly calm when Trin called out that they should listen up to what Dris was about to tell them.
“I’m now going to tell you what you can expect in the Search today,” Dris announced. “You have all learned that it takes a pair to use the power of the magic mists: a woman to Call the mists and a man to Cast them. What you newest students haven’t yet been told is that mage-pairs are specific to each other. A Caller can only pass control of the mists she Calls to one Caster, and that Caster can only receive them from one Caller. The Search seeks to identify which of you are meant to be paired with each other. It is possible your partner may not be found here today among your peers. Those whose partner has not been found after three Searches may choose to leave and go home or seek their fortunes elsewhere. Some who find themselves in this situation have chosen to remain. Even without their mage-partner, they can seek employment here and it is rare but also possible that their mage-partner may turn up in time. In a moment, we will proceed as a group to the general assembly hall where one of the other Instructors will Cast a rune to reveal the mark that the mists have already branded you with. The men will form one line and the women another. The two lines will pass each other, each person placing their marked hand palm to palm with everyone in the opposite line, bringing the two marks together to test their compatibility. Should you find your partner, the two of you should step out of the line together to allow the rest to continue. Those who do not find their partner today but have not yet completed three Searches will resume their studies as before. Those who do find their partner today will receive additional instructions after the ceremony and be required to move their belongings to the paired students’ wing.”
Clarissa listened to Dris with a mounting sense of anxiety, wrapping her arms around her knees. Jerne’s warning that there was no way to fail on purpose suddenly made a lot of sense. Surely there was no one here that she was compatible with? A shiver of horror went down her spine at the thought that Karl was included in the Search too. The thought that he could possibly be her mage-partner made her physically ill. She took a deep breath to calm herself and rested her head on her knees for a moment.
“How will we know if we’ve found our partner?” Lars called out.
Trin smiled. “You’ll know. The marks on your palms will be visible and glowing like the mists of magic do when the Search rune is Cast. If your mark is compatible with someone else’s when they come together, the two will merge to form a new one and both of you will be permanently branded with that mark on the back of your hands.” She and Dris held out their hands, palm down, for everyone’s inspection. Shuddering, Clarissa didn’t even bother to look. She tried to think quickly of a way to get out of this.
“How come you’ve got brands on the back of both hands?” Jaim asked in surprise. “I thought we’re only marked with one on Discovery Day.”
“That explanation will have to wait for when you have found your partner,” Trin said. “Are there any other questions?”
There weren’t any, so Trin began ushering people out the doorway and into the hallway beyond where Dris was already waiting for them. Woodenly, Clarissa got to her feet and shuffled reluctantly after them. On the way to the general assembly hall she considered her options. She couldn’t run away easily now. She’d have to cross the lake to do that and she’d surely be caught in the process. If only she’d known the nature of the test before! She had been so sure she could fail anything that she hadn’t even considered running as an option before, and now she was trapped. She sighed, realizing that running away was not an option either. Even if she could manage to escape and find her way home, her father would only be forced to send her back. She wondered what they’d do if she simply refused to cooperate. Would they hold her down and make all the men hold her hand to see if she was their partner? Trin, she suspected was fully capable of ordering someone to do that, and Clarissa realized how truly embarrassing such a scene would be. Karl would probably eagerly volunteer to sit on her. No, that was not an option either. She would just have to hope she failed this Search. Myrna, Ann, Jerne and Karl had all failed two already. It was quite possible that so would she! If she did pass, at least she could hope that it was Talloran who ended up as her partner. She had no idea what determined compatibility between two people but surely he was the only one here that she might be compatible with? After all, they were both from noble families. No other match would be even remotely acceptable. Perhaps this might even work out better than her original plan. Their parents might even be pleased and perhaps they could get some acceptable assignment at the royal court once they were trained. The thought calmed her now-racing heart and her panic ebbed a little. Fail or Talloran, she promised herself, repeating it like a mantra over and over silently in her head.
The general assembly hall was full, the entire population of the Isle of Song and Form having come out to watch the proceedings. On the stage ahead she could already see the older unpaired students lined up and waiting for them, another mage-pair of scarlet-robed Instructors standing with them.
“Oh please no,” she heard Beth moan. “I can’t! I can’t get up there in front of all those people!” Silently, Clarissa gritted her teeth in annoyance. She had as many reservations about going up there and she didn’t need Beth’s panic testing her own fragile self control.
“We’ll face the women toward the back of the stage,” Trin told the timid peasant girl. “You don’t have to look at the crowd Beth. It’s not as bad as it seems. You’ll be so focussed on the Search that you won’t even be aware of the crowd behind you.”
Beth stopped short, shaking her head and Clarissa’s eyebrows raised in surprise. The girl was clearly terrified and on the ragged edge of panic. Her eyes were wide and she was staring wildly about her. Clarissa was strangely impressed. She’d never have thought the girl had it in her to make a scene. People nearby in the crowd were now craning their heads to see why they had stopped. Trin was doing her best to calm Beth down and get her moving again and Clarissa braced herself for the inevitable scene that was about to follow. Then Talloran stepped in. She never heard what he murmured quietly to Beth but the girl took a few deep breaths and finally allowed him to lead her along. Terrified herself and beginning to feel decidedly ill again, she shuffled up onto the stage after everyone else. The men walked past her to line up with Jerne, Kinnon and Karl who were already waiting. Silently repeating her earlier mantra, Clarissa lined up beside Myrna who looked at her in concern.
“Are you all right?” the other girl asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied, fighting both panic and nausea and too scared to react with her usual cold indifference. “I feel ill and a little dizzy.”
“Nerves,” Myrna pronounced. “I’ve done this twice already and it still makes me nervous. This will be my last time and I can’t say that I’ll miss it!”
Clarissa nodded but the Instructors held up their hands for silence so she didn’t say anything further. She didn’t recognize the mage-pair on the stage with Trin and Dris, but the woman began her Song to call the mists of magic for the Search. Shuddering, Clarissa looked away as the woman’s partner began to form the rune that might ruin her life. The clap of his hands was like the tolling of a funeral bell to her ears and in resignation she looked down at her left palm which was now burning with the mark of magic. A line of glowing marks had appeared on the men’s right hands as well. Trin nodded and Jenna started down the line of waiting men. Placing her hand in Kinnon’s she waited expectantly for a moment and when nothing happened moved on to Jaim. Clarissa held her breath as she watched and the crowd was quiet behind her. Jenna moved on from Jaim to Fenn without any outward reaction. She placed her hand in Ben’s and then something did happen! Both of them cried out in surprise as their hands convulsively locked together. Searing light erupted from the back of Jenna’s hand even as the same came from Ben’s. On the floor between their feet and on the ceiling over their heads an image formed of two marks. Like the one she had, theirs were complicated interwoven things but their overall shape was vaguely linear. As everyone watched the ceiling in amazement, the two linear marks twined around each other into a complicated twist pattern and then winked out. Dris stepped forward and raised Ben and Jenna’s clasped hands over their heads and the crowd cheered and clapped. A little dazed but smiling, they stepped out of the line, still holding hands.
Ann went next, her expression hopeful, but it turned out that she wasn’t compatible with anyone in the line. She was clearly disappointed since this was her last Search and wistfully, Clarissa wished she could trade places with her. Ann took a seat off the stage in the crowd below and Clarissa turned her attention to Faye. Kinnon, Jaim, Fenn and Karl were all incompatible and then her match was made with Lars. Like Jenna and Ben, their marks burned right through their hands to shine on the floor and the ceiling as they merged into one. Myrna went next and Clarissa’s mouth went dry. After Myrna was done, it would be her turn!
Myrna did not find her partner in the line and Clarissa wished she could have taken a little longer to fail. Like Ann, she too looked profoundly disappointed and nodded at a sympathetic comment from Jerne. She didn’t even wait to see what became of the others, merely walked off the stage and kept on walking right out the door of the dining hall.
“Clarissa,” Trin whispered, reminding her to get moving. Forcing her suddenly weak knees to work, she approached Kinnon who gave her an encouraging little smile as she drew opposite him. He offered her his hand, palm up and she swallowed hard as she regarded it warily. The mark on it was rather squarish, nothing at all like the two linked circles she bore on her own hand. Taking a deep breath, she reluctantly reached her own hand out and placed it palm down on top of his. She sighed in relief when nothing happened. Moving on, she came to Jaim next. His palm was sweaty and he looked distinctly uncomfortable at the thought of holding her hand at all. Both of them sighed in relief when it became obvious they were not partners. Fenn was next in line and she wasn’t compatible with him either. She went to Karl next, disgusted at the thought of having to touch him at all and terrified that he might turn out to be her partner. The mark on his palm was a spiky, nasty-looking thing, a far cry from her elegant linked circles. He smirked at her obvious reluctance to touch him.
“Come on Princess,” he whispered mockingly. “Don’t you want to be mine?”
Giving him a look of disgust, she held his gaze as she grabbed his hand, determined not to let him intimidate her. She gave him a look of triumph when nothing came of it and ripped her own hand free of his before turning her attention to the rest of the line. Only two left to go and one of them was Talloran. She hoped with every fibre of her being that if she was not destined to fail today, that she would at least be his. Looking down the line, he was watching her intently, showing more interest in her than he ever had before. She gazed back at him admiringly and reached out her hand to Jerne who was next in line. Her hand pawed at empty air and frowning, she turned her attention to the man in front of her to find out why. The ridiculous peasant was holding his hand out of reach on purpose! Her eyes travelled upward and took in his mischievous grin and a spark of amusement in his grey eyes.
“What are you doing?” she whispered incredulously, her voice sounding overly loud in the silent hall.
“Just making sure that you’re paying attention,” he quipped, chuckling at her expression. Clarissa saw Trin hide her eyes and shake her head as all the people watching in the hall burst out laughing. She blushed furiously, realizing that she deserved this embarrassment. Still, a gentleman would have politely ignored her distraction or called her attention back to where it should have been. Furious at him for poking fun at her expense in front of everyone, she slapped her hand angrily into his and yelled as a shocking sensation tore through every nerve in her body. The burning in her left hand intensified as it tightened convulsively around Jerne’s and in horror she watched as the light from her palm leaked through to shine through the skin of the back of her hand. Jerne’s mark was an inverted ‘V’ shape composed of the same intertwining strands as every other mark she had seen. In shock she watched as the ‘V’ pattern slid neatly into her linked circle mark, the tips of the ‘V’ curling around the edges of the circles. The light faded, leaving only a brown tracery of the mark on the back of her hand. Looking up into Jerne’s face, she could tell that he was as shocked as she was and the two of them could only stare at each other in amazement and breathe heavily for the span of a few heartbeats. It was then that the implications of what had just happened began to dawn on her. She tugged to free her hand and Jerne released her immediately. Dris was already on his way over toward them but Clarissa backed away from both of them warily, feeling sick again and dizzy. Jerne’s face took on a decidedly alarmed expression.
“It’s OK Clarissa,” he tried to tell her. “Please don’t freak out! Really, it’s going to be fine.” His voice was distinctly blurry and she found that she had trouble understanding him. She stumbled and realized she had fallen in a most undignified manner onto her rump. Alarmed voices began to sound close by but they too were fuzzy and indistinct for some reason. A rushing noise in her ears soon replaced them and blackness claimed her immediately after that.