I woke feeling as if I'd been hit by a truck. Every bone and muscle in my body ached, my head felt as if it were a heavy weight on my shoulders, my temples pounding a soft lullaby. The second I tried to pried my eyes open, I screamed internally, no sound breaking passed my chapped lips.
This had been a repetitious issue for the last week. I'd drink away my demons the night before and wake up feeling as if I'd already died.
I laid there motionless for a while, trying to force my eyes open. My eyes shot open the second realization hit; I regretted it immensely. A sharp pain shot through my head and I rolled over on to my side, ready to vomit on my clean carpet, but ended up dry heaving instead. I hadn't eaten last night, or any night in the last couple weeks for that matter.
It took my brain a couple more minutes to process the fact that I hadn't fell asleep in this bed last night. I had dozed off out on the roof with the empty liquor bottle pressed against my chest as a security blanket. That meant that one of the boys had climbed out on the roof and risked slipping on a shingle and breaking their neck to get me inside before the thunderstorm hit last night. I just had to pray that my midnight savior had been Colton and not Landon. I don't think I have it in me to try and explain my actions when I couldn't even breathe Kevin's name aloud.
It took a few times, but I eventually made it out of bed without the entire room spinning and tilting on its axis around me. I grasped the door frame tightly, breathing out shakily before I walked to the stairs and headed down them.
I could hear the gentle tapping of Colton's fingers against the keyboard, a steady rhythm that almost eased me into as close of a serene state as I was going to get. To my relief, I was too focused on not tripping over my own foot or a stair to think about anything else all the way down. Wandering into the kitchen, I was greeted by the sound of Colton's typing dying out and his pulsating blue eyes drifting from the bright screen to me.
"You want them?" He asked, referring to the bagel and coffee in the middle of the table. "I was about to bring them up. Got lost in thought, I guess."
I hesitated for a moment, then sat on the edge of the wooden chair, ready to shoot up and out of the room at any second.
I picked at the edges of the bagel as I snuck a few quick sideways looks Colton's way. He was watching me with a detached expression; he was here physically but was somewhere far beyond comprehension inside his own head.
There was a microscopic part of me that wanted him to bring up sharing the alcohol last night; the other was relieved that the subject hadn't been brought up yet.
I curled my fingers around the coffee cup and brought it to my lips, wincing before it was fully down my raw throat. I started coughing almost immediately, sending another round of sharp pains throughout my head.
Colton shut his laptop and pushed it aside. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's just hot." I responded with a slow nod.
He stared at me for a moment, possibly trying to find a hairline fracture in my façade, then looked down at the table.
"I was thinking the three of us could catch a movie at the theater tonight. You in?" He questioned.
"I can't." I whispered. "I have plans with Belle again, I'm sorry."
My lie left Colton speechless for so long I had no doubt he didn't believe it. He stayed that way for a few minutes before he opened his laptop again and returned to his work without another word.
*
"Just call if you ever need someone to talk to." Bianca said through a mouth full of brownies, resting my phone back in my hand. "I'll always answer, I promise."
She shoved another two brownies in her mouth, eyes moving from me and focusing on something over my shoulder. She blinked a couple times before looking back toward me with a confused look. "Brother?"
My heart somersaulted into my stomach at the question. I braced myself, terrified I'd find Landon's horrified look when I turned around. Somehow, finding Colton leaning against the door with his arms crossed wasn't much better.
I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed out quietly. "His best friend actually."
Bianca sized him up, then shrugged. "Maybe you should go talk to him before we finish up."
I nodded in agreement, a seething bitterness starting to bubble in my chest as I stalked toward the door. Too angry to realize what I was doing, I grabbed Colton's wrist roughly and yanked him forward, pressing the large door shut behind us.
I didn't say a word and crossed my arms as I glared up at him.
Colton shook his head, burying a hand in it. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Maybe because it's none of your God Damn business, Colton. How the hell did you find me?"
"Why didn't you tell Landon?" He ignored my previous answer. "What happened, Avery?"
I pushed him hard. It startled him so much he actually stumbled back a few steps.
Fresh tears stung my eyes as I wiped at my damp, tear stained cheeks. "How did you find me? Do you follow me, you fucking creep?"
A switch finally flipped in Colton and he recollected himself and closed the distance between us again, cheeks flushed in anger.
"Yes, I followed you. Do you know how dangerous it is for a seventeen year old girl to be walking these streets alone on this side of town is? Or any streets, for that matter? You could have asked for a ride." He paused. "Avery, what happened?"
I stared blankly at his blurred figure for a while.
"If only it were that easy, right?" I said. "I could just pour my heart out and tell you what happened. But it's not and I can't, Colton. I can't."
He shook his head, outstretching his arm to touch my shoulder comfortingly, dropping it at his side after reconsidering it.
"But you can, Avery. You can trust me." He insisted.
I laughed hysterically through my tears, wiping at my face with my sleeve angrily.
"It's not about you, Colton." I responded. "Hell, I don't even know if it's about me anymore. Not the Avery I was, that's for sure. Just go home."
He opened his mouth to protest, but I beat him to it.
"Go home, Colton."
His hands fell to his sides in surrender upon hearing the warning tone in my voice. After a moment of absolute silence, he met my eyes.
"I won't tell Landon."
The statement surprised me. "What?"
He made a gesture toward me. "Look, Ave, this is your story to tell when you're ready. I have no right to say anything about it. I'm sorry for caring where you were and following you. I'll see you later."
Colton turned his back to me, starting toward the exit. He stopped halfway, right hand curling into a fist at his side, back tensed. He stood there for a couple minutes, prompting me to call him back or apologize. When he came to the obvious conclusion I wouldn't, he shook his head to himself and continued on toward the door.
I collapsed back against the door, clutching my stomach as a sob broke passed my lips. The gut wrenching and antagonizing feeling of guilt over what I'd just done had finally set in.
For the first time in months, I felt almost as bad as I had that night.
"Avery?" Bianca crouched at my side, hand on my shoulder. "Hey, you're fine. It's okay."
She hugged me against her chest comfortingly, looking over my shoulder at the door Colton had stepped through moments before.
"It'll get better." She assured. "You're going to be okay."
***AN****
*Unedited*
Hey guys! Sorry for the late update! I just got a job and school has been keeping me tied up!
Hope you guys enjoyed!
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