He wonders how he got here in the first place.
Laying on the floor, books and papers strewn around, talking about nothing. Oh, and with his crush. Ali did not see this as his usual Saturday evening but he'll take it. It's better than being alone with nothing but the humming of machines.
It started with an idea for a study session. It was supposed to be three of them, but Seli canceled last minute saying that she has family business to attend to. It was too late for Raib to back out and Ali can't because it's set at his house, in his basement. In the end, the two of them couldn't get any work done and decided that staring at the ceiling is a way to deal with it.
So here we are now.
They're talking but it's mostly unimportant rambles, conversations without meanings and ends. Ali would argue that he should use his time to do sometime useful, finish his research, build something, be a bit productive. But he finds himself not wanting to trade this moment for anything. Yeah, they were fine.
"So you said that Aldebaran is the bulls eye?" Raib
asked, her voice so quite that its a whisper.
"Yeah in the Taurus constellation, 'the bulls fiery red eye', it has something to do with a hunter I think, in mythology" Ali explained, eyes trailing every small bump on the white painted ceiling.
She glances at him for a second before returning to the ceiling, as if there's something interesting to find, "is it Greek?"
"I think so yeah" he mumbles, he was kneading his stress ball slowly.
"Do you think the other clans believe in mythology, or do they have some mythos and cultures of their own?" She sounds distant, as if she's thinking about something.
Ali shrugged, "I doubt it, they're an advance culture, they rely heavily on logics and technology, I don't think they have time for magical hijinks".
He sees Raib knit her eyebrows from the corner of his eye and he hears her mumbling, "but they have magical powers".
Ali scoffed, has she forgotten about all the explanations he'd given them? They're not magic, they're not witches or warlocks. There is always a logical and scientific explanation for everything they've encountered out there (but is there a scientific explanation for his feelings, hm?).
"Do they know everything though? Surely there are some things unknown to them" he hears her talk, he's not sure if that question was directed to him, or herself.
Now his eyes are scanning the room, he was getting a bit bored, "I think they've explored every nook and cranny of the earth, hell, maybe even the galaxy".
Ali's eyes finally rested on the girl next to him, she looks, puzzled, unsure, as if she's looking at a corn maze or a difficult riddle. Though, she was staring into space. It was kind of a good thing because she's not really aware that he's staring at her as if she's a shooting star (he argued that they have to stop using that term, they're meteors, Seli called him boring).
"Do you think, when they searched for the answer to everything," there was a pause, he heard her gulp, "do you think they were ever scared?".
He was a bit taken aback by the question, he never thought about it actually, while he was searching for the right answer, her eyes meet his.
He can't handle this right now, he looks away.
"Explorers need bravery to carry on their expeditions," Raib frowns a bit, "but no one is never scared, Ra" Ali doesn't realize this but his tone and expression has gone soft.
"Not even you?" He wonders if she's joking, but Ali knew her well, well enough to tell that she's not.
No, he'd say, puffing up his chest and giving her his grin, I have no reason to be, I'm both brains and brawns, nothing is capable of scaring big ol' Ali, then she'd roll her eyes and look back at the ceiling and they'd lay there in silence for the next few hours.
But that wouldn't be the truth. He's so scared of losing, losing them, losing his only happiness, losing her. He used to think, when they just started this whole thing, that he's got nothing to lose, but now, that changed. He's scared.
He can still lie, but then he looked back at her. He finds that he can't. He'd usually brush it off, say something else, but he can't. He can never lie to Raib or Seli anymore, they've gone through too much together for that.
Ali gave her a small smile and diverted his eyes from her again, "when I said no one, I mean it Ra".
"You're not alone y'know," she bit her lip, he still won't look at her, "I'm scared too, terrified even".
Ali knows this, and he wishes that she doesn't have to be. He wants to hold her and keep her safe, tell her that nothing will hurt her and he'll always protect her, that she's got nothing to be scared of. But Ali has his own demons to fight, and its not making things any better.
Finally, he looked at her again, it was chewing him up inside, looking at her, being so close yet so far, being vulnerable around her, he doesn't know if he'll make it alive if they continue on like this, " it's okay," his voice barely a whisper, "you, me, and Seli, we're a team, we're scared but at least we're together".
And then she smiles and everything around him seems to disappear, stars seem to twinkle in those wide, black eyes.
"You've got my back, I've got yours, through thick and thin and throughout the universe" she said.
She has to stop taking his breath away, does she want him to die?
Ali chuckled and slung his arm to cover his eyes, he rolls over until he's flat on his back, "that was so sappy".
He expected her to protest but he heard her laugh instead, " how did we end up like this".
Ali huffed and raised one of his eyebrows at her, "you started it," she rolled her eyes at him, ah, typical, "you're very inquisitive, you know that?".
"Whatever, educate me again about your star chart, dork" Raib liked stars, and Ali liked talking about stars.
Ali started talking about constellations, where they're located and when can you see them, and he doesn't really care about this part but Raib seems to like it a lot, he tells her the myths behind them, stories that are mere fiction about stars and where they're from which don't make any sense.
He was talking about Capricorn when he realized that Raib had stopped participating in their little conversation. He tried to look a bit annoyed when he faces her, but all he meets is a peacefully sleeping face.
His breath hitched at his throat. The black, long, strands of hair framing her face had fallen in front of her face, she looked like she had no worries at all. Ali wishes that she would always look like this.
He let his pinky linger on hers for a second, he'd rather not do anything further than that. This was alright, this was enough. He can hear Seli cheering from wherever she's at.
Raib can yell at him later for not waking her up.
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I am back from the dead.
I wonder if y'all forgot this fic exists lmao, sorry for not updating for awhile.
Ada yg bilang kalo ini ada indo nya atau bakalan ada chapter indo. (Halo maaf ga ngebales komennya!!!) Mungkin kalo saya gabut saya bakalan translate but maaf banget gabisa ngepastiin :((
I might make an indo chapter tho!
Again, penulis minta maaf sebesar-besarnya karena ga aktif, dan jarang ngupdate.
For those who still stuck around, thank you sm for your support!!