ON HOLD Voices | Stray Kids x...

By AnonymousBastardBoy

21.9K 673 304

(y/n) (l/n) is the tenth member of the band Stray Kids, but he has a secret that only his company and manager... More

Chapter 1- Mirrors
Chapter 2- M.I.A.
Chapter 3- Hellevator
I can't breathe
another update...

Chapter 4- My Pace

3.8K 147 87
By AnonymousBastardBoy

The boys and (y/n) had celebrated the youngest's birthday happily, and everything was fine for a day or two, but the serenity did not last, and the bit of mental stability (y/n) had built up crumbled instantly.

The only benefit he got from being blackmailed by John was his acting skills. None of the boys suspected a thing. (Y/n) put on an award winning fake smile and was always quick to cover up any sort of mistake.

He knew that he couldn't handle it if they found out about his secret. They would call him a liar, a fake, a monster. He was so scared that they would find out.

He had stopped being happy. He didn't know when it happened, but with all of the physical and mental abuse he was sustaining, and the disappointment he could sense from his members, he couldn't find anything to be happy about.

Still, no one noticed.

No one cared enough to notice.

And he knew that well.

He was broken, and (y/n) didn't think anyone would be able to put him back together.

John

Come over to my place
9:48

I don't care if you have anything going on
9:48

Just get your ass over here now
9:49


                                                              Okay
                                                      Read 9:53

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Unfortunately for (y/n), he had practice for their comeback. They had been working their asses off to be perfect for stay. The fans had been criticizing (y/n) for being lazy during performances, much like Jennie from BlackPink, but it was because he was utterly exhausted and in pain from the beatings he would get from John.

He was ready to break down right then and there, but he knew he couldn't. He'd lose absolutely everything if he made even one slip up.

"Chan hyung? Im gonna go use the restroom. I'll be back in a minute," he said, only to be stopped before he could leave.

"(Y/n), that's what you always say before you ditch practice. We've talked about this, you can't skip to go hang out with your friends," Chan said sternly. To be honest, (y/n) didn't have any friends at school besides Hyunjin and Jeongin. He had always kept to himself.

"Hyung, I swear I'm not ditching, I just have to use the bathroom," he pushed, but it was futile.

"I said no and that's final. When we have a minute, I'll have Minho walk with you to the bathrooms," he said before walking away to talk with Woojin.

The young idol took this as an opportunity to leave, so he let out a steady breath. He bolted to the door and sprinted out of the room as quickly as possible. He heard Chan yelling after him, and he was sure the older was following. The speed of his strides increased and he was basically flying out of the JYP building.

He wanted to cry, but he knew that there was worse to come. The members would be furious, he knew it, but he'd rather have them hate him for ditching then have them hate him for being trans.

He couldn't risk anything like that to get out no matter the cost. He had his fans and members to look out for. Stray Kids' image would not be tainted by a scandal as bad as this. There was no way he would let that happen.

He ran all the way to John's house before breaking into tears. He rung the doorbell and started shaking while he waited. Tears were still streaming down his face and he was quietly sniffling when John opened the door.

"Oh, (y/n), what's the matter?" He asked in an eerily concerned tone. John took the idol into a hug, causing the younger to tense up.

"What're you doing?" (Y/n) asked skeptically. He was scared that John was going to hurt him again, he knew he would.

"Being a friend, now come in," John ushered the idol in uncharacteristically. (Y/n) was scared out of his mind. He would be lying if he said he wasn't.

"Just put your phone on the table over there and follow me," he insisted. (Y/n) did as he instructed and followed as he made his way to a door. "Go ahead, open it."

(Y/n) opened the door which led to a flight of stairs. The boy was confused, but that confusion turned to fear once he felt the ground beneath his feet disappear. John had pushed the poor boy down the stairs, watching as he tumbled down them.

(Y/n) groaned as he came to a halt at the bottom. Tears flowed from his eyes because his body hurt like hell. In that moment, he regretted leaving the practice room. He wished that Chan would have followed him the whole way, but he knew he didn't.

John made his way down the stairs and crouched down to (y/n)'s level. He yanked the boy's head up by his hair and laughed sadistically. "What do you think? I made this all for you. From now on, this is where we'll have our fun."

John threw (y/n)'s head back down to the concrete floor of his basement. "Get up, you fucking piece of shit."

Once (y/n) stood back up, he dragged him further into the dimly lit room. He pushed him onto a chair and tied him to it, causing (y/n) to freak out.

"Don't worry, you wont be here overnight. I promise you'll get back to your band before its too dark," John said with a laugh. He walked into a closet leaving (y/n) to his thoughts. The boy was terrified of what was to come.

He wanted to vomit and cry and go home where he would be protected by his members, but he couldn't. He was stuck in this dark damp basement where he was going to get beaten.

He hadnt gotten a good look of the room ubtil John went to the closet. The walls were bear except for a shelf with a few books on it. It was dark, but he could tell the room was a dark grey color, he wondered if the walls were just cement like the floors.

He looked to the corner of the room and saw a bag, which he realized was a camera bag, and a tripod. This confused him and set him even more on edge.

"That's not for today," John said as he exited the closet with something dragging behind his back. (Y/n) didn't want to see what it was, but he knew luck wasn't a fan of his.

"Why do you do this to me, John? Weren't we friends once?" He asked with a broken voice. He was scared of so much, but John was the worst. His life was falling apart and he knew that if this went on much longer, he wouldnt be able to piece it back together.

"We were, but you left me for your company. You forgot about me and left me for dead. You knew what was happening to me at that school, but you just up and left. I trusted you, but you left me alone with no one," John said with anger lacing his voice.

"John, please, I didnt mean to hurt you. I swear. I'm sorry that I left, but is this really the way to solve your problems? John please stop this, I'm begging you!" (Y/n) plead with tears falling down his face.

"Do you know how happy it makes me to see you this scared? Its amazing to see that I can inflict this fear on you. I love it more than you can imagine," he sneered. The tears kept falling from (y/n)'s face, he couldn't stop. The fear was overwhelming, and with his previous stress, it caused him to almost have a mental breakdown.

"Shut up! Shut up and don't make another noise, or I swear you'll regret it!" John demanded. (Y/n) closed his mouth and did his best to quiet his sobs. No one was going to save him and he knew that well.

He was just so scared but there was no one to make him feel safe.

John looked at him with a sadistic smile on his face and revealed the bat behind his back. (Y/n) shook in utter terror as John lifted it over his head. The idol shut his eyes and his once friend took a swing.

* * *

Saying that Chan was furious was an understatement. He couldn't believe that the maknae would just blatantly run away like that. The leader ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"I can't take it anymore. This kid has to get his priorities set straight. His friends shouldn't be this big of a distraction!" Chan exclaimed in frustration.

"It's weird though. He doesn't really hang out with anybody but me and Hyunjin. I don't know what friends he would have to distract him," Jeongin said. This was actually surprising.

"Yeah, he doesn't really talk to anybody and he just keeps to himself," Hyunjin added. All nine boys were confused at this point.

"Maybe he made friends outside of school or something," Woojin inquired.

"I'm worried now. What if he's getting into some bad stuff? What if he joined a gang or something?" Seungmin asked.

"That kid is going to be the death of me," Chan sighed. Seubgmin's suggestion made Chan wonder. Honestly he became paranoid the instant it left the boy's mouth.

"I think we need to tell Park Jinyoung (JYP) about this. It's getting out of hand," Minho added. He didn't want to get the CEO involved, but it was necessary at this point.

"Yeah, I'll call him once (y/n) gets home," Chan said. The boys all worried about their maknae, and they were scared that he would ruin himself and possibly the group. Exactly what he was trying to prevent from happening.

They worried for the younger, he was so important to all of them. None of them could stand to lose him. They just could never know his secret.

* * *

John untied the battered boy and let him go. It was dark outside and (y/n) had no money for a taxi, so he walked back to the dorm. He knew he'd be in some serious trouble when he got back.

It scared him to think that this might be the end. They might find out his secret. They'd hate him. He knew once he got home they'd ask him the same questions as they always did.

'What if I dont go home?' He thought to himself. 'What if I never fo home?'

"What if I just ended it all right now?" He asked himself in a whisper. His life was utter hell and he knew he was only digging himself into something he wouldn't be able to escape. Maybe dying would be in his best interest.

He walked along a bridge and then stopped as the thoughts became louder. Tears began falling from his eyes as a sad smile made it's way to his face.

The boy grabbed onto the railing and looked down into the dark water that glimmered in the moonlight. He thought about how everything would be better without him.

But then he thought of the boys. They loved him so much. He knew it would hurt him if he died, but it was hurting him, both physically and mentally, to live. He was just so tired.

He took a his hands off the rail and hit his head a few times as if that would make him stop thinking about shit like that. Soon enough, he was on his way home, dreading the confrontation to come.

He mentally prepared himself as he reached the door. The knob turned, the door opened, and the youngest was met with all the boys sitting in the livingroom talking among themselves.

He knew he couldn't sneak around them, but he tried to bring as little attention to himself as possible. Seungmin was the first to notice him.

The older boy could tell that (y/n) was exhausted and clearly upset. He noticed the slightest limp when the boy walked into the apartment.

"You're back," he said, gaining the other members' attention. They all noticed is nervous habit of fidgeting with his hand and the ring on the middle finger of his left hand.

"I, uh, I'm sorry for running away earlier," he couldn't manage to find an excuse this time, he knew they wouldnt buy it even if he did.

"What were you thinking? Do you want to waste our hard efforts and bring us down? You've missed four practices this week. That's unacceptable," Chan scolded his maknae.

"I'm sorry, hyu-" he was cut off by Chan.

"Sorry doesn't cut it! We've talked about this! I dont understand how you can go run off with your friends and ditch practice!" Chan yelled. The other members agreed and didn't make any moves to stop him. They just didnt realize how much stress they were adding to (y/n)'s load.

"Hyung it's-" he was cut off once more.

"We all work hard for this, (y/n). We've talked to Park Jinyoung about this. You're suspended from group activity until further notice," Chan delivered the final blow. This broke (y/n) more than he thought he could break. The only time he felt safe and happy was when he was with the boys promoting or performing.

He couldn't believe they were taking away his happiness.

"Chan hyung, please don't do this! I'll stop skipping practice, I'll stay late, I'll do whatever I have to do! I promise!" His voice broke as he held back tears.

"It's already been decided, (y/n). You'll have to earn it back," Chan said as he looked on at the youngest.

"I wish you could be better."

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Guess who's back! Updates won't be frequent, but the hiatus is over! I made myself a little sad when I wrote the last part of this, so please enjoy!

Bastard boy out!

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