You just got home from school during a wintry day, you shakily reached your hand out for the door knob and prayed he wasn't home right now. You prayed he was out hanging around with his sluts or his drug dealer. Honestly, you could care less about your abusive father. He used to be so nice until your mother divorced him. It all started when you were six years old. She left and he went into a depression, he started drinking and smoking things you weren't familiar with.
As a child, it wasn't easy having many other women stop by the house. Having these women push you around and try to put make up on you wasn't a nice feeling. They blew smoke in your face, took your toys and your coloring pads just out of spite to hear you whine and try to get it back. After when you had enough, you ran and told your dad but he wouldn't respond and sometimes, would tell you to shut up.
At the age of 10, you decided to just stay in your room whenever other women would come over. Sometimes your dad would kick you out of room just so he could have sex with his sluts, usually the only time when he would go in your room was when he was taking in more than one woman. Sometimes you could see them and hear them and it would make you sick to your stomach so you had no choice but to go in the living room with the other women. Usually when your father was busy in bed with a woman, there would be about two or three sitting in the living room, smoking and chatting, waiting for their turn.
They taunted you, put make-up on you and told you many things you didn't want to know. There was one woman who showed you what a condom was and let you hold it, obviously it wasn't used because it was still in the pack and you were thankful for that. There was this one woman who completely pissed you off and she came over often. You didn't know her real name but she called herself 'Pepper', she always pushed you around and cussed you out and insulted you about the way you looked. At the age of 12, Pepper tried to get you to smoke something that wasn't a cigarette, she called it 'pot'. You refused and she shoved you and caused you to land on your bottom. You had snapped and told her off by shouting, "You're a no good whore who can't keep a good man and stop selling your body out to complete strangers for drugs!"
Your dad over heard your out burst and came into the living room. Pepper told your dad what you said and he slapped you across the face and it caused you to fall on the floor. You tried to explain what she had done but he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and pulled you close and said through his gritted teeth, "I don't care. You need to respect your elders, ya little bitch." He snatched you over to your room and shoved you inside and slammed the door shut. Once again, you fell on the floor but you just laid there and cried yourself to sleep.
At the age of 14, your dad started beating you more often just to let his anger out. Most of the women that came over when you were younger stopped coming over and were replaced with newer, younger women. Most of the young ones looked like they were about 25. There was this one woman who came over that was nice to you and you two bonded quickly. She was the only one that made you feel comfortable in your own home. Her name was Iris, she was actually really pretty since she didn't wear a lot of make-up but she did do drugs. You asked her why she was here and she explained that the only reason why she was here was because her friend was drunk and she was gonna take her home after she was done with your dad.
Iris came back a few times with her friend and sat in the living room with you and you two would instantly start talking. Sometimes you would get curious and ask Iris what sex was like. She told you every detail about it and felt slightly awkward on the inside but didn't show it. You just listened contently while she explained. She told you that the little things like kisses and cuddles and hugs from behind would always get her into the 'mood' and it just made you smile. She also said that just a single touch from someone you truly care about can cause a lot of stuff, such as; increased heart rate, butterflies in the stomach area, weak knees and a hot feeling in your face. But then she laughed and said, "But that's just natural. You'll find that someday."
After that night, Iris never came back. You wished she would come back, all these other women made you feel ugly and pathetic. These women had big chests, big butts and beautiful hair. You were developing a good chest size but the women were telling you that plastic surgery was the way to a great body. These women told you that you were ugly and you needed to put on make-up. They made you cry from all the insults, pointing out your flaws and telling you that you weren't worth a good man. Because of all this hatred and pain built up inside you, it caused you to start cutting yourself.
About a month later after Iris stopped showing up, your father had brought home one of his work buddies and two girls to watch the football game with. You could hear your father and his friend shouting and cussing at the T.V. while the two girls just laughed. You stayed in your room that night until you heard your father call for you. So, you quickly put on a pair of sleeping pants and a long sleeve shirt to cover your wounds that were caused by your father and yourself. When you walked out your room and into the living room, your father asked you to go grab two more beers out of the refrigerator. As you turned to walk into the kitchen, one of the girls threw their beer bottle at you and it hit you in the back and smashed onto the floor with shards of glass going everywhere, even in your feet. Your father exclaimed, "God damnit! (Y/n), clean that up!" And so you did while trying to hold back tears. After you disposed of the glass shards and picked the shards out of your feet, you brought the beers to your father and he told you to go to your room with no dinner tonight. You went to your room and fell onto your bed, crying yourself to sleep.
⚠️ WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT ⚠️
Around 12 o'clock that night, your dad's friend peeked into your room and watched you sleep. He slowly made his way to your bed and gazed at your form. With a satisfied smile, he took one of his hands and pushed it up under your shirt. After grabbing a hold of one of your breasts, he squeezed it and rubbed his thumb over your nipple. You began to wake, feeling your body being touched. The man climbed over you and saw you waking up so he placed a hand over your mouth while still playing with your breast. Feeling a hand over your mouth cause you to instantly panic and thrash around. He didn't like it at all so he slapped you across the face. You quickly called for help but he slapped you again but harder. You began to cry and tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he held you down tightly and leaned down close to you. With the stench of alcohol on his breath, he said in through gritted teeth, "You better stop thrashing and yelling if you know what's good for you." Throughout the night, you fought and struggled against him but he hit you every time you did. After that night, you were no longer a virgin.
(Explicit content over)
It's been a few months later and that man never came back. You were thankful for it. There were days when you just sat around, thinking about what he did to you. Every time you thought about it, it made your stomach turn and ache. You had never been so disgusted in your life, you felt so dirty. The more you thought about it, the more it made you cry. But one night, your father was watching the game alone. He didn't beat you that night either, he just sat alone drinking himself to sleep. You were able to eat dinner without him screaming at you about his "fucked up" life and telling you how terrible you were.
Back to the present, you are 18 now and he beats you more than ever. You stood at the door, fear causing your stomach to twist. You eventually gathered the courage to grab the handle and open the door slowly. You peeked inside and noticed all the lights were off. You didn't see your dad in the living room so you stepped in and shut the door behind you. You kicked off your shoes and walked towards the kitchen, he wasn't there. Next you walked to the bathroom, not there. Then to his room, not there. You sighed in relief and walked into your room and shut the door, tossing your back pack onto your bed, as well as your jacket. You walked over to your closet and opened the door, shuffling around some clustered things to find a hidden jar the had money in it that earned, found, or stole. You opened the jar and pulled $15 out of your pocket and dropped it in the jar. You now have $75! You cheered to yourself with a big smile. Most of the money you got was because you sold some of your dad's beers and cigarettes to some kids at school. But now you are on winter break so you don't have to go back to school for another 2 weeks. You smiled at that thought and looked over to the window and noticed it started snowing.
Just then, you suddenly heard the front door swing open and slam shut. In a small panic, you quickly shut the jar and placed it back in its hiding place and shut the closet door. You listened to his footsteps carefully and heard him walk into his room. After a few moments of silence you heard him say, "What the fuck?" You heard him shuffling around in his room, sounds of him opening his closet, then his dresser drawers, apparently searching for something. Then, he suddenly yelled, "(Y/N)!" It caused your stomach to drop from fear.
You got up and walked to your door as you heard his loud footsteps approach your room. Just as you were about to reach for the door knob, your father beat you to it and kicked your door open. You stumbled back and accidentally tripped over your foot, causing you to fall on your bottom. But you instantly looked up at him as he shout at you, "Where the hell is my pipe!?"
"I-I-I don't know!" You stuttered out for your defense. He stepped closer and yelled again, "Don't lie, (Y/n)! You better tell me where it is right now!" He picked you up by your hair and it caused you to shout in pain, "AH! Dad, please!" He shoved you across the room and your body crashed into your dresser. You fell to the floor but pushed yourself up with tears already streaming down your face.
"Get up, sorry sack of shit!" He spat at you. With what strength you had left, you pushed yourself up and stood in front of him. He grabbed your arm tightly and smacked you across the face and force you to look at him. He spoke through gritted teeth, "Where. Is. My. Pipe?" Your mind frantically searched for an answer and you instantly remembered glancing at it on the sink in the bathroom when you were searching for your dad. You quickly spoke out, "I-it's in the bathroom, by the sink."
He stared directly at you for a moment and you tried to steady your fast breathing while staring back at him. He pushed you away from him and you fell over as he walked out your room. He approached the bathroom and to his surprise, the pipe was exactly where you said it was. He picked it up and walked back over to your room as you were trying to get up on your feet. You both made direct eye contact with each other during a brief moment of silence. Then he said, "Get a grip and stop being a cry baby. You're so fucking annoying. Just a sorry sack of shit that has nothing and no one. You're pathetic. Sometimes I wonder why I even keep you here. Tch.. it's not like you could even make it on your own. Your just like your mom; pathetic and dependent. You both couldn't even take of yourselves if you tried. Disgusting. I'm glad she's out of my life, and soon you will be too." Then he turned away, walking to his door and slamming it shut behind him.
You silently cried to yourself, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. Soon, your sadness began to burn into anger, thinking about everything your father said to you. Pathetic, disgusting, sorry sack of shit. 'Fine.. If he wants me gone, then so be it.'
End~ Chapter 1