Death is My BFF Rewritten (Bo...

By katrocks247

23M 858K 887K

Death is My BFF is now published as a Hardcover, Paperback, and E-book with W by Wattpad Books! As Wattpad re... More

DEATH IS MY BFF IS NOW PUBLISHED!!!!
Death Is My BFF (Improved version!)
Book Series Order on Wattpad
Part 1: Perception
Chapter 1: Ten Thirty-Two AM
Chapter 2: Mismatched Eyes and Daisies
Chapter 3: Scream
Chapter 4: Floaties
Chapter 5: Crash
Chapter 6: Twenty Questions
Chapter 7: Quit Clowning Around
Chapter 8: Clamor and Chaos
Chapter 9: Death By Clown
Chapter 10: Lord Death
Chapter 11: Malphas
Chapter 12: Death by Invasion
Chapter 13: Flunking Out of Life
Chapter 14: Nearly Bullet Proof
Chapter 15: Death by Dramatic Irony
Chapter 16: Re-poo-tat-tion
Chapter 17: Small World
Chapter 18: I Move the Stars for No One
Chapter 19: Ace
Chapter 20: Naughty Little Cupcake
Chapter 21: Twinkle Twinkle
Chapter 22: Gluttony
Chapter 23: Fade
Chapter 24: This Cupcake Seriously Needs Her Stud Muffin
Chapter 26: Hooha Warheads
Chapter 27: You and Me and the Devil Makes Three
Chapter 28: YOLO
Chapter 29: Mother Mary on Steroids
Chapter 30: Batman's Wife
Chapter 31: I Am Batman
Chapter 32: The Boy Who Died: Part 1
Chapter 33: The Boy Who Died: Part 2
Chapter 34: Losing Faith
AHOY, MATES - A Few Things to Say
Chapter 35: Lost Soul
Part 2: Deception
Chapter 36: Wicked and Divine
Chapter 37: Trickery
CHARACTER LIST (Very important)
Chapter 38: Heart and Soul
Chapter 39: Haunted
Chapter 40: Greed
Chapter 41: Skeleton
WANT MORE DEATH IS MY BFF??!!!!
WOO HOO! Death Is My BFFLAD (Rewritten)!!!
Death Is My BFFLAD Rewritten
Death's Letter to Santa

Chapter 25: Ta-da!

345K 16.6K 15K
By katrocks247

 Ok, so I upload the chapter once and click "save" because I know it's going to be rated R and sure enough it was. Then I censored words and uploaded again and sure enough it was R AGAIN. I had to cut this chapter into thirds (meaning it will be three chapters). Instead of being like 8,000 characters, it's a lot less because I have to figure out what word is so sensitive... Sorry! 

VOTE AND SCREAM IN THE CHAPTER FOR THE NEXT PART AND YOU'LL GET IT ASAP! xD

* * *

            Malphas was dressed in a sleek black suit, and his sharp, pale and handsome features were complemented by the moonlight streaming into my dark living room. The last time I had seen this demon, he had turned into a massive raven, slash demon-monster, and tried to kill me.

            Yay. (That was sarcasm, if you couldn't tell.)

            His purpose for trying to kill me, I was still unsure. Was it to get back at Death? How had he known to come after me, or who I was? Malphas had used a boy I had grown up with at Church, Mason Haynes, as a puppet, to get through to me. Then, when I was defenseless, he made Malphas his own move and pretended to be my therapist.

            Once again, I was defenseless and vulnerable, and here he was.

            "I'm appearing to you in a dream, called a demonic projection. Therefore, I am not really here, and you are not really tied up." Well, now I know Mirror Man uses my dreams as well. Figures. "But you think you are tied up, and that's all that matters. I recognize your pendant. I knew the previous owner. It's a weapon, even in your dreams, and it's the reason why I've made you believe I've tied you down and gagged you. It will obey your every verbal command."

            Could the pendant really protect me against Malphas? From Death?

            "Anyways, I won't be here long, this is strictly business," Malphas explained in that sandpapery voice, clasped his gloved hands gracefully behind his back. "What I am about to say will not be repeated to anyone. Because of your pendant, you are now able to keep this discussion a secret from the supernatural, and you will, because if you don't, you will lose any chance you have at freedom. I am not threatening you. That is merely a fact. You and I, Faith Williams, we are a lot alike. We have a common enemy. We are determined, and we are bold. Nod, if that was all true."

            Slowly, with a horrible feeling in my gut, I felt forced to nod at the villain. It was all true, after all, yet I couldn't help but feel like he had some sort of pull over me.

            "My instructions, if you choose to take my help, have been sent electronically to your main email," he continued, eyes shadowy and serious. And, if that didn't surprised me enough, that a great and all powerful raven demon sent emails, or better yet, knew my email, his next words would blow my mind to smithereens. "Regardless of our last encounter, whether you trust me, or whether you and I are good or evil, I am the only one who can help you get rid of your...problem."

            He didn't have to say who that problem was. I knew that problem was Death.

            RAWK! RAWK! RAWK! That damn raven on his shoulder startled me for the millionth time, its harsh calls painfully buzzing in my ear drums.

            "You should know, your friendly neighborhood Grim Reaper is only being friendly to get what he wants." Raven Demon hovered over me with his shadowy, muscular built frame. "Once Death get what he wants, which, for whatever indispensable reason, is you, he will show his true colors. Do not mistake The Angel of Death as an idiot. He might be unstable, horrendously obsessed with property and his hair, and, if it wasn't blatantly obvious, theatrical, but he is still clever. How Death works, is similar to the poker term, 'chopping the blinds'."

            I frowned. Chopping the blinds? Now I was picturing a crazy person karate chopping blinds on a window.

            "Ah, of course you are unfamiliar with the term." There was amusement in his eyes, like he was mocking my intelligence. "Chopping the blinds occurs when all other players fold to the blinds before the flop. The flop is when the three cards on the table are flipped over. Chopping creates confusion and hard feelings. Similarly, Death will lay it on thick and lure you in and make feel sympathy for his own mistakes. Chopping allows a tight player to play ante-free. You are that tight player, Faith Williams. You have put forth your bet before the cards have been dealt, and you are losing that bet because you are losing against fate. You are now the vulnerable one at the poker table. You need someone who can stand in front of your fate, and knock him straight to ground. Chips, cards, and all. You need me."

                        Suddenly, Malphas' black eyes narrowed towards the windows in the living room, and like an animal honing in on a sound, he grew utterly still, and his attention remained fixated on the windows for a while. There was an eerie silence in the room where I collected my thoughts, and oddly enough, began to view The Raven Demon differently than before. He was an enemy, but maybe he was also my strongest ally.

            Malphas straightened the lapels of suit, then fixed his cuffs.

            "But I need you as well, and that's why I'm here," he admitted through slightly clenched teeth. "As powerful as I am, I lack in other areas where you do not." His jaw tightened for a fraction of a second, as if he was restraining himself from saying something else, but then he thought better, and smiled kindly down at me. "Pardon my vulgarity, but you have female...assets, a feisty mouth, and a palpable amount of innocence which reflects off of you like light off a disco ball. You  serve as the perfect distraction. He suffers, as all Fallen do, from the Seven Deadly Sins. One of which, is lust. Therefore, even an uncivilized, foul-mouthed creature who despises humans almost as much as I do, can see your sexual attraction. I'm referring to Death, of course. This is what I need from you, Faith, a distraction. Ask yourself, can that pendant around your neck protect you from a fiend his own creators can't keep at bay? This opportunity will not be available for much longer. A smart girl, would take it while she can. I'm sure you have questions as well. I will answer them, but on my own turf."

            With that, he vanished in thin air, and I woke up in a cold sweat in my room. The first thing I did was run into my bathroom and dry heave. My anxiety level was off the charts, and because I hadn't eaten anything in God knows how long, nothing was coming up the more I tried to throw up.

            Malphas. An ally?

            I did not expect what would happen next.

            I should burn every baggy outfit that Faith owns, so I can properly stare at her chest and nod every other second when she speaks, so I can pretend I'm actually listening to her whiny voice and what she's saying. Maybe I should stop that, it's not very well-mannered. Nah. Why the hell is this illusion wearing a V neck? My body would look good in a V neck. Well, my body looks good in everything... I don't want to buy one of those 4 packs of V necks at the store and look like one of those tool bags that are "just touch with their feminine side". The guys who not only get their nails done on Friday's, but wax their chest and...I don't want to even think about what else they wax. I'm hungry. I'm always hungry. Flames of Hell, now I have to piss. What kind of evil attack is this? I should have took a potty break beforehand. Crap, Faith's dog found my peeing spot and is trying to hump my leg. Wait a minute. The Williams' family doesn't have a dog...

            Death? How the heck was I hearing his thoughts? I move slowly through my room, entering the hallway, and crept towards the front door.

            That's not a dog. AHHH! It's chasing me!

            I should kick it.

            Kick.

             Ha-ha, look at that raccoon fly. Fly, b*tch.

            'I should be a the kicker on a football team, after that one. Or maybe on a Sarah Mchlachlan commercials. The Raccoon Kicker strikes again. In the arrrrmmss of the anngeel. This bush looks nicely trimmed, cared for, and pee-worthy. Ah, hell, now it's  windy and raining and that somehow made me h0rny. Wait...I'm always h0rny. Damn, this pee would definitely be record breaker in Hell. It's been, like, three minutes. What happened to clear skies all night, Tom Farleigh, the weatherman? That guy just found his way to the tippy top of my To Die List. Tomorrow's forecast calls for my scythe up your ass, Tom. I'm still h0rny. Damn, I can smell her from here. She's wearing that body spray I told her to wear. Strawberry Frosted Cupcakes. Of course the one human I'm not supposed to kill, smells like dessert. Great suggestion for her, Death. She's definitely not human. Leo said she predicted her friend's death. That's not a very human thing to do, now, is it? Nobody interferes with a collection and gets away with it. Not in my city, sweetie. Her heart is racing like a jackhammer. What's my naughty little cupcake up to now? I can't wait  to get my hands on her. She makes me so angry...and hard. What? Still h0rny. And angrier...'

            F*cking probing little b*tch, learning everything about me with that damn pendant. It's not even her necklace. I'll make Faith pay. For everything. I'll continue having fun with it, too. I can't wait until she signs my contract so I can finally make her my slave...

            The doorbell rang multiple times to a little jingle. I threw a hand over my mouth, suppressing a scream, and back peddled into the living room. I stared at the door, frozen, watching as my tired mother slid into the kitchen and towards the front door, peering into the peephole of our door.

            "Why the heck is a delivery boy ringing the doorbell at this ungodly hour, baby?" Mom asked through tired, half-closed eyes. "And why didn't you answer it? I have to get up at five in the morning." She was concerned about what she believed to believe a pizza delivery, but little did her brainwashed mind know that that moments before, I had been tied down like an animal in my dream, and offered a chance of an alliance with a powerful demon, nor did she know the Grim Reaper was on our front porch.

            I got up and peered through the peep hole myself, but nobody was there.

            "They're not there anymore," I said. The house felt like it had dropped a good twenty degrees.  At first, I thought I had been imagining it, but even my mother was subconsciously rubbing at the goose bumps on her arms.

            "Must have left. Maybe he's trying the backdoor." Annoyed, she added, "Did you seriously order pizza this late?"

            I smiled sheepishly. "I was hungry?"

            Without thinking twice, and with the speed of a cheetah, I grabbed the softball bat we kept in the house from the kitchen pantry, and raced to our back door of the house, but before I could throw open the door to stab the living daylights out of the creature waiting there, the doorbell rang again.

             The "pizza guy" was back at the front door.

            I raced through the kitchen back to the front door, but it was too late. My mother had opened the door, which I realized immediately was the whole point of the dissapearing act. To get her to open the door. Standing on our porch was a boy with a pizza hat on, tipped over his eyes, reminded me of my first encounter with Ace. As I stepped closer, I could have sworn I saw a small, cynical smile lift on his lips.

            "I have a pizza delivery for a Miss...Faith Williams," the 'pizza man' read off real slow from the recite, as if he couldn't read. "It's a very special delivery." Then he winked many times in a row. "'Special'."

            "Faith, did you order a stripper?" my mother asked sleepily, turning to look at me over her shoulder, and when she was no longer looking, the pizza guy turned towards me and brought two fingers to his mouth, flicking his tongue out rapidly between them.

            "No, I didn't order a stripper! I didn't even ordered pizza."

            "You lied to me?"

            While her back was still turned, the pizza guy grabbed at his crotch and hip thrusted to his own beat. He had dark hair and dark eyes. Kind of a cute guy, but the fact that Death was wearing a stranger's face was unsettling.

             I didn't want to even think about how red my face was. I moved in front of my mother, leaning in towards the archway of the door. "This is between you and me," I whispered just beyond his reach from inside the house. "Leave my mother out of this."

            "You're right, your mom shouldn't be involved in this," Pizza Guy agreed, without any attempt of whispering.

            "Her mom is certainly going to be involved with this," Mom snapped. "How dare you stand outside my house, at this hour, and try to convince me that my daughter ordered a prostitute! You should be ashamed of yourself, young man! This is not funny. I want your mother's number. I want to talk with the person who's letting her son hoodwink people into he's someone that he's not."

            The pizza guy blinked, appearing a bit taken aback. Could he not manipulate her through the door? 

            "Mom, I'll get rid of him," I intervened, not liking the way the pizza guy had gone absolutely still. And because I was nervous Death was going to hurt my mother, I said something I should have never said. "Let's not make a scene. He's--he's a... friend."

            "That's not what you called me last night," Death said.

            "That's it." Mom took our house phone off the hook. "I'm calling the police."

            Death slowly shook his head at me, sliding a finger across his neck.

            "Mom! Mom, please don't get involved. It's just a prank. Just close the door, and let him leave."

            "What your daughter is trying to say is, she would like me to take her virginity without you present," Death translated, his own tone matching my mother's unpleasantness. The way he was speaking made even me think he was telling the truth. "You see, I'm a paid pr0stitute. Her delivery is my body. It's not a prank. She was very specific what her needs were over the phone, and she wanted me to dress like this." Then, with air quotes, he added, "You should see the 'toppings' she ordered on the 'pizza pie'. Those are all code names for my p3nis."

            My mother gasped, starting to dial on the phone. I wrestled the phone away from her.

            "Wait until I get my hands on you!" I hissed at the villain in disguise, face aflame. "I'll kill you!"

            "See how s3xually deprived she is?" 'Pizza Guy' smirked lazily at my mother. "I promise I'll take great care of her. I think it's better for her to lose her V card to a professional. I'm quite experienced in the s3xual intercourse department. Quite. But she knows that already because she watched me getting it on with my previous client. I think she recorded it, too. Dirty, thy name is Faith Williams. I'm just saying. She's dirty."

            My mother looked horrified. She was actually believing this BS?! "What is going on here?!" she demanded, turning back towards me again. "Who is this boy? Young lady, if this is one of your friends, tell him to leave right now, before I smack him all the way to church. If he's not your friend, give me that baseball bat in your hands."

           Death threw up his disguise's hands. "I'm just here to get paid, ma'am."

            "He's lying, Mom!  Mom, look at me." I gripped her shoulders. "I"m telling you the truth. I didn't order a pr0stitute."

            "Your daughter wants my p3nis and she's embarrassed to admit she purchased me. She thought you would be sleeping, obviously."

            My jaw dropped.

            My mother's eyes practically fell out of her head. She was brainwashed. She was still utterly brainwashed, if she believed him at all.

            "DEATH!!" I roared.

            "ME!" Death roared back, mocking my voice. He tossed the pizza box in his hands right through the doorway, letting it smack to the ground in front of my mother's feet. The lid flew open, and a dark purple mist lifted from the contents of the box. Part of it rocketing towards the front entrance of our house and forming a thin layer over the barrier between me and him, and the other part, snaked around me and sucked right up my mother's nostrils as she inhaled, leaving her breathless and sagging against the wall.

            "MOM! Mom, are you hurt? Mom!" She was a dead weight against me, but she was still conscious. I dragged her as quick as I could into the living room, away from the front door. Her lips were trembling and she wasn't saying a word. "Mom, say something! Say something! MOM! MOM!"

            Her eyes closed.                                                                   

            I whirled around, and Death's gloved hand punched straight through purple mist stacked up in front of the front door, shattering an invisible wall that he had told me he needed my permission to cross over.

            Death was no longer in a disguise, but in his draping obsidian cloak. Could he smell Malphas' scent the moment he stepped through the door? If he could, he hadn't made it obvious.

              The monster made himself known in the Williams household. "Ta-da!" 

             * * *

*Spotlight turns on. Kat Egyptian dances onto stage* 

ALOHA! Welcome to Katrocks247 book from hell, where plot twists and endings of chapters make you want to rip your freaking hair out! Please vote and comment, leaving all your unfiltered feedback for Satan--I mean Kat, and enjoy the rest of your night/day. She loves you! Not much, obviously, because that cliff hanger was N to the OPE. 

xoxo

P.S- Follow me on Twitter and Instagram! My username is Katrocks247. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

Join the Facebook group for the Death series in the external link or on my profile. YOU WON'T REGRET THIS EITHER.

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