After the dismissal bell, the classroom flooded out until I was the only one left, sitting in my assigned seat. Mr. Urie was going over some papers, and it was silent for a good minute, leaving my anxiety to worsen. I stood up and walked over to his desk, a small, nervous smile on my face. He neatly stacked the papers and put them away in one of the desks, and looked up at me. "Ryan," He began, and lord, he sounded good when he said my name. "In the short amount of time that I've been teaching here, you've impressed me the most out of any of my students so far."
My heart fluttered. Was this god of a man really saying that I impressed him? The most? I sheepishly laughed, scratching the back of my neck. "Well, thank you, Mr. Urie, but it's nothing, really. I'm just.. kind of a natural at giving my input, that's all. No intelligence involved whatsoever." I said, smacking myself on the head internally. I had nearly degraded myself in front of the sexiest man alive, after he was just praising me for being the complete opposite of a retard.
Mr. Urie hummed and ran a hand through his hair, grabbing a pair of black-rimmed glasses from beside him, sliding them on. Holy shit, he even made glasses look good.
Straight, Ryan! Straight! Jesus.
"Well, if you're a natural, it means you don't need any intelligence because you were already born with plenty," He argued, and bit his lip, "I think you're very gifted, that's all."
Again, "Thank you.. that means a lot." I said curtly, not wanting to impose any further. "And if there's anything I can do to raise my grade, any extra credit or anything, please let me know." I tried not to think of what I really meant by extra credit, but I wanted to believe that it wasn't something other than an assignment, but fuck, I wouldn't even mind if it meant something else.
In fact.. fuck. No.
"Oh, ah - of course," Mr. Urie said, almost hesitantly, and shook his head a bit, laughing underneath his breath. I didn't question him, just nodded and waited for him to say something else, "I actually have something you can do for me, if you're up for it." He offered, pulling out a blank piece of paper.
I hummed and quirked a brow, "What is it?"
"I'd like you to write down some things about yourself that you would want me to know," He responded, handing me the paper, "Likes, dislikes, personal interests, anything that tells me about you. I'd like to get to know all of my students, and rather than handing out some more papers to everyone, I could just make it an extra credit thing. That way it's a choice."
I tried my hardest not to blush but I felt my face start to heat up, not really knowing why, I think it's because his voice is so hot, all deep and raspy, and I was barely paying attention to anything he was saying because I was quite honestly just staring at his lips.
God, his lips.
"Ryan?" I suddenly hear and snap out of my Urie-induced trance, shaking my head a bit.
"Um, yeah, that's fine," I stammer out and take the paper from him, "Thank you, Mr. Urie."
"No problem," He ran a hand through his hair and turned his chair towards me, "need a pass, right?"
"Mhm."
-
So, there are two things I've noticed about Mr. Urie.
One: He's way too nice, and that's only driving me crazier.
Two: He has lips that were practically made for sucking dick.
And as I walk to my next class, I can't help but wonder how many guys he's gone down on. If he even has. But I mean, what 20 something year old man with plump lips like that hasn't experimented once or twice in his life? I know I would, if I was gay, because I'm not, clearly.
Man, I need to get my head straight.
-
"So, how do you like Mr. Urie so far?" Pete asks me and passes me the freshly lit joint he rolled up for us, coughing a bit into his free hand. I feel my heart drop into my stomach and I play it off by taking a hit, sucking the smoke in through my cheeks and inhaling, then exhaling, slowly.
"What's to like?" I shrug, tapping out the ash onto the ground beneath us. "He's pretty average. Nice guy, good at what he does so far. Mrs. Ballato was still better, though." I shiver and curl up into the couch that Pete's set up for us in the shed we're sitting in, his shed, to be exact, and take another hit, feeling my head start to cloud over. "Man, this is some strong shit." I tell him, and pass it back.
"Right?" He agrees with a smile, and he looks lazy, happy. He's obviously starting to feel a high coming on, and I'm right there with him. "I think I like him. He's pretty cool, and he doesn't give any homework out. Although, he'll probably start some time soon, what with all him being new and professional and stuff. I think it'll be easy, though." He smokes, and I can't help but ask myself if Mr. Urie does, too, how he would react if he were to burst into Pete's (now hotboxed) shed right now. Would he join or call the cops?
I voice my question.
Pete starts giggling at me, shaking his head and passing the joint back to me after taking his second puff. I shrug, smiling, and what? It's a legitimate question.
"I think.." Pete hums, "I think he's a square. He looks too nerdy to be smoking and stuff. But hey, you never know. Maybe he's had ganja goodies a couple of times in the past."
"Do not call it ganja goodies," I sputter and start to laugh, "That's.. that's such a weird way to like, talk about weed. It should either be called 'bud', or weed, and that's it. Ganja goodies are like, edibles or something." And yeah, I'm high as a kite now. I could understand why it hit me harder than usual, since I haven't eaten anything, and because Pete took it upon himself to throw some kief into the joint.
"Yeah, well." And that's all Pete says, all he can say. I give him the joint back, which is getting smaller and smaller by the minute. He ashes it and hits it.
"You think he's gay?"
"Hm?"
"Mr. Urie. You think he's gay?" I ask, and he looks at me, like, Ryan, what are you talking about? And I look at him back, like, Pete, answer me. I find it funny how sometimes we can have conversations without even talking to each other. But he needs to answer my question, like, now. It's been way too long since I've asked.
"Hm.." He looks like he's pondering, working the little screws in his brain. I can't help but smirk, because really, it could go either way. Or maybe he's bi. I really don't know why it matters so much to me, since I'm straight and all. Pete bites his lip, and then passes the joint back to me, and I take the last hits of it before ashing it out completely and tossing the roach somewhere in the shed. "I mean, he doesn't look gay, but I don't really know if someone can look gay. There's definitely some people that scream 'gay', but Mr. Urie just looks like a straight greek god. No homo or anything. Then again, you can never tell with some people. I mean, hell, you could be gay and nobody would notice, but that's just an example, since you're dating Keltie and everything."
"..Yeah, an example," I gulp and try not to look nervous. And - why did that affect me more than I thought it would? That shit made me feel like I was put on the spot. Even though I'm straight, I think. "Pete, I.. I don't know if I want to be with Keltie anymore."
Shit. Word vomit.
"What?" His eyes widen and his mouth drops open a little, his neck snapping over to look at me. I feel my face heat up, suddenly being put on the spot. "Why?"
"I don't know, man," I sigh, running a hand through my hair, and who ever said I had to have a reason? Keltie was just Keltie. And I'm just.. Ryan. Does that make sense? Make it make sense if it doesn't. "I just don't want to live the life that she wants, y'know? And like.. I can't see a future with her. I know I'd be so miserable."
He nods like he understands, and that's the end of the conversation.
"Hey, you wanna sleep over? It's Friday." He points out to me, and a smile makes its way onto my face, because Pete really is my best friend.
"Of course." I say, and I know that once I tell my mom, I'll have a night free of Keltie and Mr. Urie and my own thoughts.
A night where I can relax.
-
whew chile i finally updated
so much has happened in the last month and basically i'm on probation because of it 🤠
oh well! i'm gonna be writing more consistently now, trust me. just a little bump in the road.
also there'll be less author's notes unless it's important!!
so as always, i love you
-iz 💗