Episode 3: confessionals and eliminations
About: Due to the producer not being able to produce a snappy title for the episode, the hosts will delve into the contestants deepest secrets and vote to eliminate a member of the house. Even though none of them know what they're competing for.
Duration: 48 minutes
PLAY
SCENE: The red couch is back because it's the confessionals episode. Everyone is dressed fancily, apart from DIONYSUS. He has wine stains on his shirt. Each interview is individual and all questions are from a tag on Twitter.
PERSEPHONE: Welcome back to another episode of Ambrosia! Now this week, is a bit different. We were promised a calmer episode but that probably will not happen. This week is the first week of confessionals!
HADES: i thought we were doing boats. I posted on Instagram about boats. I got a thirst comment from Hera, because of the boat.
PERSEPHONE: if you wanna be on a boat that bad we can sink our ship, it's your choice.
HADES: [ nervously laughs ] have I told you how much I love you?
PERSEPHONE: [ smug smile ] anyway, we asked you, the audience, to send in questions with the hashtag "ambrosiaconfessionals" each contestant will be given two questions each. I will be interviewing the girls and Hades will be interviewing the guys.
HADES: only because I want to roast Zeus about his ex girlfriend.
[ insert transition ]
HADES: So, ares. The first question for you is, "if the contestant house was on fire, who would you save and who would you let burn?"
ARES: Ah, that's easy, I'll save myself. Why do you look so scared? What did you expect? I'll let Athena burn, that bitch.
HADES: I guess you're still salty about the challenge. Do you get it? Because the dish was too sal-
ARES: Yeah I get it.
PERSEPHONE: Aphrodite! Your first question is "who do you like more? Ares or Hephaestus?"
APHRODITE: [ incoherent stuttering ] well you know... uh.. [ nervous laughing ] I like rosé.
PERSEPHONE: that wasn't an option.
important to note that after every question it cuts to the next interview, no transition
HADES: I have a question, Zeus.
ZEUS: [ very uncomfortable] I thought we were getting them from twitter.
HADES: I asked my 4 million followers if they wanted me to ask this and they said yes.
ZEUS: [ high pitched ] oh okay.
HADES: Do you think you deserve Hera?
ZEUS: can we not do this on national TV and instead at home when we're both awake at 3am?
HADES: [ rolls eyes ] fiine, if you had a choice what would you change in life?
ZEUS: My habits.
HADES: Like being unfaithful to Hera?
ZEUS: Next question.
PERSEPHONE: Uh so Artemis, one user sent in "Adrian?"
ARTEMIS: is that supposed to be a question?
PERSEPHONE: Apparently
ARTEMIS: did they miss out half of the question?
PERSEPHONE: probably.
ARTEMIS: what kind of name is Adrian? Elias is better. Or even Jimmy. Jimmy is way better. That's how bad of a name Adrian is, what the fuck.
HADES: What's been your favourite drama moment on the show so far?
HERMES: bold of you to assume I have ONE. Here's a powerpoint presentation I've been preparing for this moment. [ takes out long pointer thing and claps his hands. Suddenly a white presentation board drops from the ceiling and a PowerPoint is displayed even though there is no projector in sight. The lights also go out ]
HADES: is this even in the budget -
PERSEPHONE: "Why are you so pure?"
HESTIA: my mother only fed me holy water for the first 6 years of my life
PERSEPHONE: oh damn.
HADES: "what's your favourite alcoholic drink?"
DIONYSUS: [ is drunk and slurring turns to the camera man] come closer ... closer ... closer .. [ pulls the camera to his face and whispers ] v o d k a .
ARTEMIS: I mean I guess it's better than atlas or something -
HADES: "Would you start a DIY channel on YouTube?"
HEPHAESTUS: if that's something people are interested in? My instagram already has a lot of diy/ carpentry videos too
PERSEPHONE: "Whats the best and worst thing Zeus has done to you."
HERA: That's a loaded question but I guess the best is how we actually met, but that's a long story for another time. The worst is -
there is creaking in the ceiling before it crashes down. HERMES is laying flat on his stomach with his phone in his hand, the camera open and recording. he nervously chuckles
HERMES: Hades wouldn't let me be in the interviews because he was scared I was going to post them to my blog, I was in the vents... you might wanna get those fixed
HADES: "why do you think you'll win?"
APOLLO: I'm hot. Like the sun.
PERSEPHONE: "whats the most important thing you've had to give up to be on this show?"
DEMETER: spending time with my children. I really miss them.
HADES: ooh! A question for me! "Will there be any bts scenes shown?" That depends on if the producer can be bothered. But if she can be, that means we'd see a lot more on how the relationships between the contestants are built. So she should probably get on that.
PERSEPHONE: "how badly do you want Ares to be thrown off the show?"
ATHENA: I'd cut Zeus's dick off myself
ZEUS: [ shouting from another studio from down the corridor ] NO!
split screen
HADES AND PERSEPHONE: final question, "who do you want to be eliminated this week?"
[ insert transition ]
HADES: thank you contestants for your valuable time and not so valuable damage to the sets [ very pointed look at HERMES who is avoiding eye contact and is looking around the room.
PERSEPHONE: unfortunately, one person has to leave today and none of your votes count because someone opted out themselves.
HADES: it's with our greatest regrets to announce that ... [ very long silence ]
DEMETER: ...
ARES: ...
HESTIA: ...
ZEUS: ...
HEPHAESTUS: ...
ATHENA: ...
ARTEMIS: Hades, you're gonna make the show run over time.
HADES: [ childishly ] you just ruined the vibe! [ huffs ] I'm not doing it.
PERSEPHONE: [ puts her arm around her husbands shoulders ] there there. Its with my greatest regrets to announce that Demeter will be leaving us.
HERMES: [ sigh of relief ] we'll still have drama it's okay. It's not like she contributed anyway.
everyone looks at HERMES very confused
HERMES: am I wrong?
next episode in 5...