Chapter 14
AN: This fanfiction is written mainly to satisfy Philjess shipper hearts and has no influence to the real lives of the characters. Yes, it may have a few scenes based on reality, but the rest came from my imagination.
And this chapter is dedicated to all the Philjess shippers out there. Keep the faith. :)
If you hate the idea of PHILJESS, please don't read so we can spare some hate. Thanks! : )
*Beginning of a Flashback
**End of a Flashback
"This is a disaster!" shouted Phillip's publicist as she paced back and forth across the room. She looks frantic; the veins on her forehead seemed ready to pop out anytime.
Phillip was sitting quietly at a chair across his ex-girlfriend, listening to his publicist, but not talking. Heejun was standing at a corner, leaning against the wall, quietly observing them.
Phillip caught the gaze of his best friend. Heejun just nodded at him. Phillip wondered if his publicist even knew that Heejun is there.
"Who told you to answer their questions?" suddenly asked his publicist, breaking Phillip's line of thought. She was looking at his ex-girlfriend with disapproval in her eyes. "And WHO effin told you to say that?!"
The ex-girlfriend finally had the nerve to look guilty as she cowered at the tone of Phillip's publicist.
"I told you to wait for Phillip, didn't I? Phillip has already been briefed on what to say and here you go ruining everything for him. Do you think your meddling helped his career? Argh! What's it with the girls surrounding you, Phillip Phillips!"
Phillip didn't answer.
His publicist pulled a chair in front of them and sat on it.
"Can you please answer me," says the publicist. "I told you to wait for Phillip. What made you give your oh so wonderful comments on those videos and photos? And WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO MAKE THAT STATEMENT?" she shouted that Phillip saw his ex-girlfriend flinch a little.
"Well..." his ex-girlfriend started. "They saw me... and they asked me questions. The questions were meant for me so I had to answer them," she said weakly, which made Phillip want to roll his eyes, but he stopped himself at the last minute.
"What about that stupid statement you gave about--- argh! Did they ask you about that? Huh?" his publicist shouted louder this time. "I specifically told you never to open your mouth until Phillip came down. I specifically told you to entertain them a bit. A bit! Not feed them news! If you want to be part of Phillip's PR team, you should follow me! I don't need a bitch more stubborn than me in this team! I---"
But Phillip cut her off. He was looking at his ex-girlfriend.
"What do you mean part of this team?" Phillip asked his ex-girlfriend. "Are you saying you are now officially part of my publicity team?"
His ex-girlfriend did not answer. Instead, she was looking at his publicist.
Phillip let out a laugh. "So it's decided then? You are officially changing your career. Very nice," he said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "And thank you very much. You just made yourself a star after that last statement. Congratulations on your first publicity project... it worked... for you," he said, laughing humorlessly.
"But I'm doing this for you!' His ex-girlfriend shouted desperately. "Can't you appreciate that? I am willing to sacrifice everything for you," she said, her tone not mellowing even just a little. "I gave up everything, PP. Why can't you just see that?"
"I didn't ask you to," Phillip answered quietly. "I never asked you to give up everything for me."
"You wanted me to come with you," she said, her voice deadly serious. "You told the media you wanted me with you because I supported you. Everything just changed when you let your self fall in love with Jessica."
And Phillip did not answer her. He has no answer for that because it is true. But Phillip had also been honest to her. It was she who couldn't accept he had broken up with her.
After a minute of silence, the publicist spoke.
"Okay, stop this," she said in a trying-to-be-calm voice. "It has happened. You have to deal with it now, Phillip. You need to stay away from Jessica this time. THAT STATEMENT is forcing you to. No more buts. No more hiding. No more late night evening rendezvous, Yes, Phillip. I know about the rooftop thing," she said when Phillip had looked shock when he heard the last words.
"This is different now," she said. "The media are already informed about your situation with this... ex-girlfriend of yours... You know the media; they will watch your every move."
Then she sighed as she went to stand in front of Phillip.
"Listen to me, Phillip," she said. "It will mean less heartbreak for her if you detach yourself from her little by little. Try by avoiding her first. Then be cold to her. Then tell her you can't be with her. I know you made a promise. You--"
"You know I made a promise?" Phillip asked in disbelief. "And oh, is there a need for me to break her heart slowly? Her statement will surely reach Jessica in no time and it'll surely break her," he answered sarcastically. His publicist ignored him.
"... should make her feel you're not about to keep that promise," she said, with no indication that she heard Phillip's comment.
"And you seriously asking me to do it! God, I'm in love with the girl and you're asking me to destroy her?" he asked weakly while shaking his head. "What a dirty game this business is."
"You won't destroy her, Phillip," his publicist answered him calmly. "You're actually helping her career. She's better off without her name being attached to you. Look at this Phillip. How will it look like if you two admitted you're in love? They will think she is using you. Hell they will even think she seduced you!"
Phillip was shaking his head in disbelief. He still couldn't understand the line of thinking of his publicist.
"She's the younger one here. She's innocent. Won't the media think I was the one who seduced her?" he asked.
His publicist gave a dry laugh. "No. People still think you are this southern gentleman. Jessica is the friendly type. She used to hang around with all the boys. She's seen with so many photos hugging Deandre, Colton, and you. She'll definitely look like the seducer in this game of seduction."
And again, Phillip has no answer to that. Jessica was no flirt. Never. But she has always been closer to the guys than to the girls explaining the many photos she has with them. Jessica will definitely come out as the bad girl here.
"We're in this business, Phillip. You and she are big news. They'll want more spice on it. She'll come out as the loser in this, Phillip," she explained. "After what this girl here said awhile ago," she said while pointing a perfectly-manicured finger to his ex-girlfriend, "Jessica's definitely on the hot seat if she is so much as seen near your shadow. Her career will be tainted more if you don't do what I want you to do."
"So you want me to go with the flow and show everyone what she said is true," Phillip said quietly as he looked at his ex-girlfriend. His publicist rolled her eyes, but she nodded nevertheless.
Phillip was silent for a few minutes, but after a short while, he slowly nodded. He ignored Heejun's gestures of protest from the side of the room.
"I can do that..." he answered quietly. Phillip can see the eyes of his ex-girlfriend lit up because of his words, but he looked at her straight in the eyes as he said his next words.
"... But I can't stop loving her," he continued. His ex-girlfriend's face immediately fell as she looked away from him.
Phillip can see Heejun's reaction at the corner. His best friend had adopted that poker face thing he does so well, but Heejun was nodding slightly at his last statement, making Phillip less guilty with his decision.
"Okay then," his publicist agreed. "I can't meddle with your feelings. But you have to try your best. Which means... no more tweeting. No more interviews together. No more midnight strolls. No more intimate duets."
"Wha---"
"Yes, Phillip," his publicist nodded, her face grim. "Your Terrified duet is cancelled. You'll sing Volcano with her as back up singer. But you will be singing in front; she will be singing at the back. No proximity. No close contact. I already talked to the musical director."
Phillip stopped himself from answering.
"We have a deal, Phillip," his publicist said, paying him one last look, before going out of the room, leaving the three of them alone.
Silence ensued. And for the first time, even Phillip's ex-girlfriend doesn't have anything to say.
It was Phillip who broke the silence after a few minutes.
"Okay, man, you can unhide now," Phillip said tiredly. "How didn't she even notice you?"
Heejun came out of his hiding place and went to sit beside Phillip surprising the ex. Heejun gave Phillip's ex a sarcastic smirk and then ignored her.
"Your publicist is such a bitch, isn't she?" Heejun asked. "But this wouldn't have happened without the interference of the one and only Queen of Controversy," he said while sarcastically looking at Phillip's ex-girlfriend.
"I am not a Queen of Controversy!" she answered defensively.
"Fine. But you still love the attention, don't you?" Heejun asked, still poker-faced.
"I don't!"
"Stop defending yourself," Heejun said. "Didn't you cost so much trouble already?"
The ex-girlfriend was about to answer, but Heejun raised his hand to stop her and instead faced Phillip, who was shaking his head.
"You want PR? Let's do PR. Let's kiss and make out, PP," Heejun told PP while puckering up his lips and batting his eyelashes. "It might cause more controversy than what this... this woman just announced awhile ago."
"That's disgusting," muttered the ex-girlfriend, which made Heejun look at her.
"Maybe it's not Jessica you should be afraid of. Maybe it's me," Heejun said. "Cause I'm gay and I'm going all BDSM on PP when we're alone at night. And you can't do anything about it. And stop saying anything. There's no media around to hear your words. You're just wasting your time."
Phillip's ex-girlfriend just glared at him. She stood up and went out of the room with a huff.
"Don't trip! It might cause another controversy!" Heejun shouted just before the door closed. Then he turned his attention back to his best friend. He glared at Phillip.
"And you. YOU. You actually said yes?" Heejun said exasperatedly. "You agreed that easily? Damn, Phillip Phillips. I know you are an idiot. I just didn't know you're this much."
"Heejun, please," Phillip pleaded as he closed his eyes. "I'm having a headache and you're not helping."
Heejun snorted. "Your ex-girlfriend and your bitch of a publicist gave you headache. Not me. Stop blaming me."
Phillip sighed. "Alright. Sorry, man. But please understand. You know what happened. You were there."
Heejun sighed. He just had to agree with that.
"Well, yeah. It was stupid, man. Your girlfriend had verbal diarrhea. She just can't stop pooping. But do you really have to agree?" he asked Phillip quietly.
Phillip didn't say anything; he just stared at the wall in front of him.
Heejun shook his head as he patted Phillip's shoulder.
"I shouldn't have joined the Philjess ship. I should've settled with Coltjess, it's less complicated." Then Heejun sighed. "Man, I'm sure you know what this means, right? This means you have to let go. Having a girlfriend is something. Having a fiancée is another."
----
*Heejun was busy flirting with the Front Desk Officer when he heard the commotion. He looked back and saw a dozen people enter the lobby. He wouldn't have minded them if it weren't for the video cameras they were carrying.
Heejun scanned the lobby to see if there were any celebrities around. Oh, what he'll do for entertainment right now. Entertainment which doesn't involve his best friend's complicated love story.
Speaking of the complicated love story, there goes the complication. Heejun thought as caught sight of Phillip's ex-girlfriend, who was sitting at one of the plush cushions beside Phillip's publicist.
Both of them were looking curiously at the media people.
But then she isn't a celebrity. Why would she be worried about getting mobbed by the media? Heejun thought while rolling his eyes.
Then he saw Phillip's publicist whisper something to Phillip's ex; the latter nodded. Then Phillip's publicist immediately stood up and left.
Probably to make sure PP isn't these people's target for tonight. Heejun thought. But she shouldn't have left Phillip's complication alone. Oh well, her problem; not mine.
Shrugging, he took a deep breath, gave the receptionist one last wink, then turned his back to the commotion.
Whistling to himself, Heejun made his way towards the elevators.
Until he heard it.
"Hey, aren't you Phillip's girlfriend?"
"Yes! We know it's you!"
"Where's your boyfriend?"
"Where are the other idols?"
And so many other questions.
"Hi," came the answer in a very shy, sweet voice, which finally made Heejun abruptly turn around.
He then narrowed his eyes. As he expected, there she is, Phillip's ex-girlfriend, smiling widely at the reporters and shaking all of their hands.
Unsure of what Phillip's girlfriend is up to (plus his innate curiosity suddenly showed itself), Heejun half-hid behind a tall plant to observe.
"Nice to meet you all," Phillip's ex declared. "Phillip will be going down in a minute."
So far, so good. I wonder how long it will last. Heeun thought.
"It's okay. We can wait for him. But we have some questions for you. Can you answer them?"
"Of course, I can," replied the ex-girlfriend. "As long as I can answer them, I will."
Heejun's brows rose, but he listened nevertheless.
"How does it feel that you'll be going on tour with your boyfriend?"
Heejun heard her giggle before she answered. "I'm so excited! I mean Phillip wanted me to come with him so I had to do all I can to make sure I don't disappoint him. And here I am!"
"Nice, nice. So is it true that you gave up your Nursing Course just so you can handle your boyfriend's PR?"
"Oh yes," she answered, her voice sounded disappointed, which made Heejun furrow his brows.
She really sounded disappointed, though Heejun knows that isn't true anymore because he knows how much Phillip's ex girlfriend has loved the limelight that came with Phillip's title.
"Did Phillip want you to give up your course for him?"
"No, he doesn't," she answered with full sincerity in her voice. "But I want to be there to support him."
Oh she's good! Heejun thought sarcastically.
"Oh, how sweet of you. But tell us the truth. Aren't you just being a little bit scared that Phillip might fall for a certain girl while he's on tour that's why you insisted to come?"
HA! Heejun thought triumphantly, grinning at the question of the reporter.
"Oh no!" the ex answered, giggling again, which made Heejun's smile drop. "I don't find the need to guard him and to show others he's mine. I have faith in our relationship."
Faith my Asian arse. Heejun thought. And no, am not racist. Duh. I'm Asian.
"I just want to support my boyfriend," she continued. When Heejun peeked from behind the plant, he could see the smile on her face. "If I wasn't able to come, I mean if I wasn't able to take care of things during the last minute, I would have trusted the other Idols. They would've made sure Phillip won't be crossing the line."
Heejun just rolled his eyes.
"Speaking of the Idols, whom are you closest you?"
She smiled widely again, which made Heejun think her face will crack any minute.
"I am closest to Colton," she answered. "Phillip, him, and I always go out for movies and dinners. I am close to the others too."
"Even the girls?"
"Even the girls. Hollie's such a sweetheart. Elise is like my older sister, as well as Erika. Skylar is juts so cool. And Jessica is such a little sweetie."
"Ohhh... nice... So if you are close to the girls, how do you feel about this?"
Heejun can see the reporter showing something in his cellphone to Phillip's ex. He narrowed his eyes as he studied her reaction carefully.
She was smiling when the reporter first handed her the phone. She looked excited even.
But now, the smile was completely wiped off from her face. Heejun's curiosity skyrocketed.
Phillip's ex handed the phone back to the reporter, her smile back on its place. But Heejun can see the coldness in her eyes even from afar.
"So how do you feel about that? Your boyfriend caught in the cameras carrying Jessica, bridal style in his arms in the middle of the night. And with his best friend."
Heejun's eyes got so big that they almost popped out from their sockets when he heard what video was shown to Phillip's ex. And his mouth fell agape.
How in the world did that video ended up... what the... but it was... Heejun thought. He knows they hadn't been careful that time, but the video never came out until now.
Somebody must have given the tape to the media. Somebody's really trying to...
His thoughts were disturbed by the voice of another reporter.
"How about these photos?"
Now Heejun was curious as he can see the emotions playing across the face of Phillip's ex.
He watched her face go stunned, angry, neutral, angry again, and then neutral.
Heejun waited for the blow.
"Jessica is just a little girl who got lovestruck," came the reply of Phillip's ex; coldness very evident in her voice.
Then she shook her head. "Why not? PP is gorgeous. But whatever they have, it's just platonic. Whoever it is who thinks there is something in that video and in that photo, you are all delusional," she answered with a small laugh.
Heejun can see a few reporters look at each other while shaking their heads.
"Have you read the fanfics about them?"
Phillip's ex-girlfriend shook her head. "No. I don't have time to read products of delusional minds," she said, while smiling widely. "But I've heard about them."
"And you haven't been curious?"
"No," she said. "Why will I be?" she asked haughtily. "Phillip is in love with me. That's what's important than some fan-made stories."
Heejun shook his head. This girl sure knows how to feed the imagination of the media people. What a smart babe. Wonder what Phillip saw in her. He thought, while rolling his eyes in the process.
"You know, Ma'am, you sound really defensive. We can smell jealousy from right over here."
The media laughed.
"I am not jealous!" the ex-girlfriend said, her voice a little louder.
"Oh, but you are, Ma'am. We can't blame you though. The chemistry between those two is so intense!"
"I am not jealous," she answered back, a little calmer. "Why do you keep insisting that I am jealous? Why will I get jealous of an immature 16-year old girl?" she asked, smiling a smile that never reached her eyes. "Phillip will never even look at her twice. I am very much secured with our relationship."
Heejun saw the media look at each other, but they said nothing. Instead, one reporter gave another question, which seemed to really test the patience of the ex-girlfriend.
"Do you think the closeness between Jessica and Phillip started during the top 2? They seemed pretty close and comfortable with each other."
"Those mean nothing. It was part of the program. They were the top 2 so they needed to be close. I didn't even worry about it. PP and I, we're going strong," she says, while smiling sweetly at the media. Heejun shuddered at the smile.
She looked around the lobby and finally caught Heejun's eyes. They looked at each other for a moment before Heejun saw her smile broaden. She turned her attention back to the media. Heejun was suddenly nervous.
"Our relationship has passed through many challenges, but we're still here. And I think we'll just get stronger as time passes by," she said, giggling, this time.
Warning bells started to go off Heejun's brain. He clumsily reached for his cellphone and dialed Phillip's number.
For some reason, he couldn't connect. He tried again.
Shit! Why now, PP? Heejun thought as he started texting him while at the same time listening to his ex-girlfriend's interview.
"So what's so special about you relationship right now? You said it was stronger?"
"Well, he's been more attentive and takes care of me more than before...."she said, giggling like a school girl again. Heejun felt like he's about to get sick as he sent a message to Phillip and turned back his attention to the interview.
"He never fails to make me feel loved..." she said, catching Heejun's eyes again.
Then her smile broadened, which made his heart plummet out if his chest.
"... especially now that he has proposed."
**And just like that, the media had a field day.
---
To say she was hurt was an understatement.
But Jessica didn't show it. She merely smiled and nodded as Phillip turned his back on her.
Deep inside, it was a different scenario. Deep inside, she was bleeding.
Jessica already knows this is going to happen. In fact, Phillip had specifically warned her; told her to get ready for this.
She is ready, but this one, it so damn hurts. She doesn't even know if she'll hold on or if there's nothing left for her to hold on to anymore.
When she heard the news awhile ago from Hollie, she was in denial. Phillip wouldn't do that to her. They were okay just last night. They were doing okay.
But when she came down with Hollie at the lobby awhile ago, she knew it was true. Phillip's ex-girlfriend was hanging by his side and he was laughing with her. She was being charming and he was being charming too.
They were being interviewed by a few reporters.
She had stayed in her spot, watching them being interviewed together... until she saw the glittering ring on her finger.
Without a second thought, Jessica had retreated and went straight up to her room with Hollie following her.
She didn't cry. She just stood there, right beside the window, staring at nowhere.
Whatever she saw, it isn't true. It was all for publicity. At least that's what she thinks. She has something that those people do not have. She has Phillip's promise. And that's something solid to hold on to.
But it still damn hurts. Jessica thought while blinking back her tears.
She caught Heejun's eyes as she passed him by on the way to the girls' bus. Heejun looked conflicted as he looked from Phillip to her. But like always, his loyalty to his best friend won-Heejun gave her a small smile.
That's it. A small smile.
Jessica took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face as she reached their bus. The other Idol girls gave her a hug as she joined in on their conversation. A hug that means unspoken sympathy. The girls had heard of the news too, but they did not speak of it especially right in front of Jessica.
And Jessica's grateful for that.
"I can't believe we're finally having this tour!" Skylar exclaimed, her voice bringing Jessica back to her reverie. "It will be so nice to finally meet the fans."
Erika agreed a little too enthusiastically. "Yeah! I am so looking forward to that, but other than the fans, I would love to tour the U.S."
"Girls," Elise said while flipping her hair. "I love the tour and the fans, but what I'm looking forward to in this trip is to bond with you all!" she said excitedly, while pulling all the girls into a group hug.
There was a chorus of "Awwws" and giggles.
"You're so sweet, Mama Elise!" Skylar exclaimed.
"I know right?" Elise answered, which made the others laugh.
It was Hollie who noticed Jessica not joining in their fun time. She was looking somewhere.
Hollie followed her gaze.
"Bloody hell," she whispered as she finally saw what caught Jessica's attention. Hollie's words caught the other girls' attention too and they followed her gaze.
"Just fantastic," Erika muttered.
Jessica followed Phillip's 'fiancée' with her eyes as she towed her luggage behind her. She was going their way.
It was Skylar, who was standing beside her, who voiced out what she was thinking.
"Are ya'll kidding me?" the pretty country singer asked softly. "Is that WBE staying with us in the bus?"
"Well," Erika started. "She's wicked. She's a bitch. And she's from the East. Yes. I think that's her and I think she'll be staying in the bus with us."
Elise shrugged. "Might be. She just can't stay in the boys' bus, can she? And most especially she can't have her own bus. What, she's so special she'll have her own? Nah. I'll put up a petition if that happens," she said while flipping her hair.
"Ssshhh, quiet," muttered Hollie. "She's coming. I'm putting up my decent face. I don't want to be rude to Phillip."
Jessica heard the other girls give a collective sigh as they waited for Phillip's ex-girlfriend to come near them. She, herself, took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face.
"Hey," Jessica said kindly, smiling at the newcomer when she felt the others won't give the courtesy.
The 'fiancée' ignored her, went past the other girls, and straight inside the bus. Jessica frowned.
"Why that---"
Skylar started to follow her, but the other girls pulled her back.
"No, Sky," said Hollie. "Don't give her the satisfaction. She's one against five of us. She can't do anything. She can't even harm our baby girl here," she continued as she wrapped an arm around Jessica's shoulder.
Skylar glanced at Jessica who's smiling slightly at her then took a deep breath. "Fine. I won't pull every hair off that bitch's head. But if she ever lays a hand on even one of us, she can kiss her arse goodbye," she declared with utmost seriousness in her voice.
All the other girls laughed except for Jessica. She wasn't paying attention. Her eyes were glued to the side of the boys' bus. They were getting ready to get in the bus just like them.
And Phillip was looking straight at her.
Jessica's gaze did not falter. She wants to look into his eyes and see what's wrong. Phillip had been ice cold to her in the past few hours; something which she understands. He told her to expect such actions from him. She knows he has a reason for acting that way.
Yes, she's hurt, but she's not losing faith. She keeps repeating his words to her mind like a mantra: Trust me.
Jessica closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. When she opened them, Phillip was still looking at her.
She smiled at him.
Phillip looked surprised for a second, but he immediately recovered and gave her a small nod before turning his gaze away from her.
Jessica felt a pang of pain in her heart, but she removed her gaze away from him and turned her attention back to her girls.
This is just temporary, Jessica. She reminded herself as she faced the other girls.
She caught Hollie looking at her with concern in her eyes. Jessica knows from the look on her face that she had seen the exchange between her and PP.
Jessica shook her head and gave Hollie a small smile.
"I'm okay, Hollie," she whispered. Hollie looked unsatisfied, but she nodded nevertheless.
"Are you ready, girls?" Elise suddenly asked, which interrupted the silent communication between Hollie and Jessica. The girls all turned towards her.
"Let's go and make life a living hell for that WBE," Elise said excitedly.
---
"I changed my mind. Phillip is not a chicken," Heejun said as he played with Deandre's hair. Deandre laughed.
"So what is he?" Dre asked while looking at Phillip, whose gaze was outside the window. The three of them were still awake. The other boys have already retired in their bunks.
Heejun sighed. "Well, he's a duck. Cause he can't do anything, but quack."
This time, Phillip turned his attention to his best friend and smacked him at the back of the head. "And what are you if I'm a duck?"
Heejun shrugged. "I'm a virgin."
Phillip and Deandre both looked at him, mouths agape.
"Close your mouths," Heejun said, looking really hurt. "And I'm offended. I'm still a virgin. Never been kissed. Never been touched."
Heejun looked at his two friends seriously, daring them to oppose him.
After a moment of silence, Deandre burst out laughing. "That was a really nice joke, Hee Hee."
"I'm not joking," Heejun said, while pouting. "And don't call me Hee Hee; you're not a girl." Then he turned his attention to Phillip. "But seriously. What are you doing?"
"What am I doing?" Phillip asked while looking outside the bus window again. "What am I doing," he said, muttering to himself.
Deandre and Heejun looked at each other.
"Yes, what are you doing?" Deandre asked tiredly. "Jay's hurt, man. Is this another publicity thingy? I can't believe what's happening. My baby girl is hurt."
"Oooops. Guilty as charged." Heejun muttered while rolling his eyes. Phillip indeed looked guilty.
Deandre shook his head. "Phillip, man, I trust you with her," he said. "Please don't hurt her again. If I only love her the same way you love her, I would have spared her these types of complications."
Phillip let out a deep breath; his gaze still outside the window.
"I don't know what to do anymore," he said, a hint of defeat in his voice. "You two know how much I love her. It's just that... they want to destroy her. This is the best way to stop negative attention."
"Destroy her in what way, Phillip?" Deandre asked. "The only way you'll destroy her is if you leave her hanging again! Man, Jay's so in love with you she can't even think straight anymore."
"But why does she have to go down so I can go up?" Phillip asked, clearly frustrated. He finally tore his gaze away from the window to face his two friends.
"Honestly," Deandre said, "I don't think she needs to go down for you to go up. You're thinking negatively. Why can't you think you two revealing your feelings for each other can lead to something positive?"
This time, Heejun interrupted. "I know what you're saying, man. But think. Jessica's not even legal enough to date. Phillip might find himself in jail faster than you could say "Home" if they find out about their feelings for each other. Plus, people will think it's Jay who seduced Phillip if that happens. Think, man."
Deandre sighed. "Yeah. You're right. Plus Phillip having a girlfriend in this situation won't do Jessica any good. Well, she's supposedly your fiancée now, right? Anyway, people will really think Jessica seduced him if ever. But what are we going to do? Jay's getting hurt, Phillip."
Phillip shook his head. "I don't know, Deandre. Right now, I don't know. I hope to find the answers soon. But promise me, man," he asked, looking at Deandre. "Promise me you'll take care of her. Make her smile while I can't."
Deandre nodded, giving Phillip a genuine smile. "I promise, man. I'm his best friend anyway. I won't let other people hurt her."
Phillip nodded, relief in his eyes as he met Deandre's gaze. He trusts Deandre. He trusts him because he's Jessica's best friend; he'll take care of her. Phillip knows Deandre will never let Jessica cry; she'll be in good hands.
Plus, Phillip trusts Deandre not to fall in love with Jessica. He knows what they have is a brother-sister relationship.
They were interrupted by Heejun's laughs. They both looked at him, confused. Heejun was looking at his cellphone.
"What's funny?" Phillip asked tiredly.
Heejun snickered. "Nothing, nothing. Just the girls having the best night of their lives. Elise sent me an SMS."
"What does it say?" Deandre asked, suddenly excitedly.
"That PP's girlfriend is a bitch so they're making the most of it," Heejun answered, still laughing. "I meant Phillip's fiancée. Oh, what I'd do to be there right now.'
Deandre laughed, but Phillip just shook his head.
"Just tell them to be careful," says Phillip, almost numbly. "She loves to tweet, remember?"
Heejun grinned as he stood up. "So caring, Phillip. Let me call Mama Elise," he said excitedly as he went to the back of the bus and out of Deandre and Phillip's sights.
There was a comfortable silence between the two boys. After a while, Deandre thought he should give Phillip his space. He stood up to leave him.
"Wait, man." Deandre turned back as he heard Phillip call him. The guy was looking at him with something in his eyes. Something which Deandre couldn't decipher at the moment.
"Yeah?" Deandre asked, clearly confused.
Phillip gave him a small smile. "Man, whatever happens, don't fall in love with her, okay? Cause I'll come back for her. I don't need you as a complication."
Deandre looked shock, but even before he can answer Phillip, he was staring outside the bus window again. He shook his head and went straight to his bunk to rest.
-----
Deandre couldn't sleep that night. Guilt filled his heart as he saw Phillip fell asleep on the bus couch with a heavy heart. His last words echoed in his brain. It made him remember a recent conversation he just had.
No one except him and Jessica knew this. He has yet to say No or Yes.
It happened a few days before. Deandre remembered being wakened up in the middle of an afternoon nap.
*The situation was getting out of hand. Jessica's getting more haters that she was even given advice to lay off Twitter for a bit. She had refused, because she will miss her Blujays. But she also had to follow what she has been asked to do.
"Damage control," her Head Publicist had reiterated. "Stop tweeting for awhile so you won't read the hate tweets and that the haters might stop if they don't see you tweeting."
Jessica had agreed. So she's been surprised when her recording has been cancelled for the day because of another gruesome meeting.
Jessica arrived at the room together with her Mom and was surprised to see Deandre there.
Deandre gave her a sleepy smile as he stood up and pulled the chair beside him for her. Jessica mouthed a soft 'thank you' and sat on the chair.
"Hey, Dre," she whispered. "What is this meeting all about?"
Deandre shook his head. "I don't know, Jay. My sleep was cut because of this. I have no idea." He shrugged. "As long as they don't ask me to pretend as your boyfriend, I'm okay with it. God knows PP will kill me if that happens."
And Jessica giggled, which made Deandre grin as he leaned back on his chair.
"Behave, you two," said Mrs. Sanchez. But she was smiling.
"Sorry, Mom," Jessica said sincerely.
"Sorry, Mrs. Sanchez," Deandre seconded. He looked so sincere that Mrs. Sanchez just laughed and started talking to a member of Jessica's PR Team.
"Told yah, your mother loves me," Deandre said. Jessica just glared at him.
----
The moment Jessica's Head Publicist began talking, she knew it was going to be an interesting meeting.
"The situation is getting out of hand," she said as she looked from Deandre to Jessica. Her gaze remained on the latter.
"We've been monitoring your Facebook Page and Twitter for you, Jessica," she said. "Yes, you are gaining fans and followers, but you are also gaining destructive haters. Yes, they arew few, but they're destructive. They're so keen to destroying you. Remember those two haters who kept tagging the Idols and saying negative things about you? We asked you to stop tweeting for awhile after that, right?"
Jessica flinched a little as she nodded. Those had affected her so badly. She felt a warm hand envelope her own as she carefully listened to her publicist. She gave the hand a small squeeze.
"Did you remember who are the only ones those haters didn't tag?" her publicist asked. Jessica nodded.
"Phillip and Colton," she answered quietly.
"Exactly," answered her publicist. "I guess you have a clue, why?"
Jessica nodded. "I have a theory, yes."
Her publicist nodded. "We also have a theory and I'll explain," she said while looking at her team.
"Everyone in this room knows what's happening between Phillip and Jessica," she said. "Yes, everyone in this room, Jessica," she said as she saw the shocked look on Jessica's face. "All of us know about it. We're your PR team; we know everything."
Jessica stopped herself from saying anything.
"So the haters did not mention Phillip and Colton in any of their tweets," she continued casually, which irritated Jessica a little. "Meaning, they did not want to involve the guys in any of their controversial tweets. So these haters, we can assume, might be fans of these two guys. And they might be... ridiculously 'in love' with these two guys that's why they hate Jessica so much."
There was a murmur of "yes" inside the room.
"So... it's because of that we invited this gentleman down here," she said as she went to where Deandre was sitting and pulled him to stand up. Deandre smiled awkwardly at everyone around the room, which made Jessica giggle.
Jessica's publicist glared at her as she pulled Deandre with her. Both of them are now standing in front of the small crowd.
Jessica looked confused.
"I have a temporary solution for that. That solution is this guy standing beside me."
Jessica caught Deandre's eyes. Jessica shook her head, telling him she doesn't know anything about this. Deandre frowned as he looked back at Jessica's publicist.
"This guy is Jay's best friend, Jay's confidante, Jay's favorite Idol guy other than Phillip of course," Jessica's publicist continued. Then she looked at every face inside the room.
"This guy will save Jay. This guy will pretend to be Jessica's boyfriend."
----
It was Deandre who reacted first.
"No, no, no," he said while distancing himself from the publicist. "People already think I am gay. This won't work. No. Just no!"
"Don't be silly, Dre," the publicist said. "You know that's not true. Come on. Just for a few weeks or so. Just until the haters are pacified. And then we can stage your breakup."
"I'm not your puppet!" Deandre said. "Nor is Jessica. I refuse. I refuse to participate. No. Not me. Why don't you ask Heejun? Or Colton? Not me! Not me!"
Jessica's publicist glared at him, but she sighed put her arm around his shoulder.
"Stop acting like a child. You should be okay with this, Deandre. After all, Jessica's your best friend. She'll be more comfortable acting it out with you. Right, Jessica?"
But Jessica couldn't answer. She's still in a state of shock.
Jessica's publicist sighed as she looked back at Deandre. "So you'll do it, Dre? For your best friend?" she said while pulling him closer and squeezing his shoulders.
But Deandre shook his head furiously.
"No, no," he said. "Don't you dare use me. PP will never get jealous of me. And can you move a little? You're scaring me. I'm 9 years younger than you," Deandre said as he moved away from Jessica's Head Publicist.
Jessica's publicist looked embarrassed and cleared her throat before speaking again. "Don't be silly, Deandre. It's not like I love virgins."
Deandre's eyes resembled that of a Panda's at those last words. But before he can speak, Jessica's publicist had cut him.
"You are not making Phillip jealous," she clarified. "This is not the objective of this. We just want to pacify the haters and we need your help. If they can see that Jessica is in a relationship with somebody who isn't Colton or Phillip, the hate might stop. Do you get me?"
"No!" Deandre said while shaking his head. "Jay's like my little sister! Pretending to be her boyfriend is.... Wrong. It's incest, man!" Then he turned towards Jessica's Mom. "Mrs. Sanchez, tell this lady this is a ridiculous idea."
But Jessica's mom just shook her head.
"Look, Deandre," Jessica's publicist said. "Jessica's haters are not only affecting Jessica's career. They are also affecting Phillip's career. Why do you think we're here?" she asked. "So this is both for Phillip and Jessica, YOUR friends. But more for Jessica, YOUR best friend."
Deandre was pouting. He's still shaking his head.
**"We're not asking you to say yes, now," Jessica's publicist said. "We are giving you a few days to think about it."
---
Deandre sighed as he turned on his other side. He can see Heejun snoring opposite his bunk.
He has a big decision to make.
And with what's happening right now, Deandre might just say Yes.
-----
It was hard for Phillip to do it. But he did it anyway. Like Heejun always says: "Phillip is an idiot".
And he is.
For the first few legs of their concerts, he avoided talking to her. He avoided being near her. He avoided questions about her. It's as if she didn't exist in his life.
It's the hardest thing he's ever done in his entire life.
Phillip knows she was hurt. Deandre kept throwing him dagger looks before he goes to comfort Jessica every time, but Phillip couldn't do anything. The controversy about the two of them needs to subside.
His ex-girlfriend was tasked to keep tweeting about him; to mention him in her every tweet so that people will believe that nothing's wrong with their relationship in spite of the Philjess chemistry controversy. She was also tasked to 'appear everywhere'. So her original plan of not going on tour with him was cancelled. She's now officially part of his luggage.
They even asked her to be a part of his official music video for 'Home'. Phillip was adamant at first because he doesn't want to give her any ideas. But one look from his publicist and he reluctantly agreed. It seemed like his publicist is always there to remind him of their little powwow.
He, on the other hand, was just given one task: he just needs to stay away from Jessica. It is one task, but it something that breaks his heart. Avoiding her, he can stomach. But seeing her reaction... it's a different story. Every time she looks at him and he catches the sadness and understanding in her eyes, a thousand kidney operations might feel better.
It's so hard for Phillip to see her aching. But he has started this and he needs to finish this. He's doing this for her. For them. And Phillip doesn't want to admit it, but their little publicity plot is working.
He heard from the guys that Jessica's haters started backing off. There are still a few, but they were harmless. So what did he do? He continues avoiding her. And he continues to be seen with his ex-girlfriend.
But then, he's just a human being. He couldn't always avoid his feelings. What he feels for Jessica is too strong that sometimes, he forgets what he is supposed to do.
The first evidence: their Volcano Duet.
IT IS his song for her. He might not be looking into her eyes while he's singing it, but he's hoping Jessica knows he's singing it for her.
The first time he heard her sing her lines in the Detroit leg of the tour, he wanted very much to turn around and look at her straight in the eyes while singing the song to her. Her every word caresses him like soft feathers trailing on his skin, leaving goose bumps along the way.
It drove him mad.
Singing the song with her, but not to her is a beautiful yet painful feeling. Because he wants to touch her, hold her hands and look into her eyes while singing the song, but he can't. She's like a forbidden fruit to him.
The second evidence: their Glad You Came performances.
Automatically, they were being paired. They are after all the top 2 in the competition.
He, once again, tried to be detached. But the moment he sees her smile at him, his will to be cold to her during the performances vanished. He couldn't help but return her playful stares and smiles while she's singing to him. It feels so natural. He even grabs the opportunity to hold her hands every time.
He forgets about the publicity plot during these times.
The highlight of every concert for him is the group performance. Because he gets to show how he really feels without too much of a worry.
Jessica pretty much understood their status now. She seemed accepting of everything. She stopped giving him sad stares. She stopped trying to catch his eyes every time. Hell, she even stopped looking at him.
It hurt Phillip deeply, but he was the one who started this. There's just one thing he was praying so hard for: she wouldn't stop loving him.
Because once he knows the perfect way out of this complicated puzzle, he'll come back for her, hoping her heart is still only for him.
---
So much for Phillip's wish.
It had taken every ounce of his patience not to react too harshly at the news.
He was having his dutiful breakfast with his supposedly fiancée, Colton, and Heejun, when Joshua and Hollie joined them. Joshua looked like he was in a foul mood as he sat down at the table. Hollie looked at them apologetically as he whispered a few words to Joshua's ears.
Joshua seemed to pacify a little and started eating his cereal.
Heejun being Heejun asked what's wrong.
"What's got your knickers in a twist, Joshua Ledet?" he asked, clearly not caring whether Joshua is in a foul mood or not. Phillip kicked him on the shins.
"Ouch, Phillip Phillips. I am merely asking a question," he said as he turned his attention back to Joshua. "So what now?"
Joshua just shook his head and continued eating. Hollie shook his head at Heejun. But Heejun known for his verbal diarrhea, still continued.
"Oh come one, Joshy," he said. "Let us help you. What's your problem?"
This time, Joshua looked up from his cereal and looked at them all. "Ask Sanchez," he said as he stood up and walked out, surprising everyone.
Hollie sighed as she stood up to follow her best friend.
Again, Heejun couldn't be stopped. "What's his problem, Holliemollie?"
Hollie sighed again as she looked at Heejun. "It's trending on Twitter. Look at it," she said before walking out of the room. Phillip swears he saw Hollie look at him.
Curiosity got the better of everyone, even the quiet Colton. They all got their phones except for Phillip. He rolled his eyes as he saw his ex excitedly scrolling through her phone.
There was silence for awhile. Phillip has to admit he is curious, but he did not open his Twitter. He knows he'll know in a few minutes what made Joshua react like that.
As usual, Heejun reacted first. His usually small eyes went big as he looked at Phillip.
"Doomed. Hanged. Before she can even explain her side," Heejun said. "What the hell?"
"Uh oh," his ex muttered on his other side. But as expected, she seemed happy about it. She looked up from her phone and caught Phillip's eyes. "Honey, you might want to see the trending topic now. It could be interesting."
Phillip gave her a calculating gaze before he looked at that one person whom he trusts the reaction when it comes to Jessica: Colton.
But Colton's face was unreadable. It almost seemed like he's... bored. But Phillip knows better. It must be something really bad.
Phillip shook his head and stood up from his seat. His ex automatically stood up from hers, but Phillip stopped her.
"I am going to the bathroom. I think I can very well open the door for me," he said while exiting the room before he can hear his ex's retort. Phillip heard Heejun snicker right before the door closed behind him.
On his way to the bathroom, he got his cellphone from his pocket and opened his Twitter. No one can see his reaction now. He can freely express what he wants to express without guarding it.
He scrolled down and immediately found the trending topics.
His heart stopped.
And before he knew it, he had hit a glass wall.
----
The news had taken its toll on him.
He experienced different emotions when he heard it. He felt betrayed. He felt angry. He felt sad.
Colton sat at the one of the poolside chairs. They will be spending tonight in a hotel bed instead of in a bunk bed. Tomorrow, they will be on the road again for their next stop.
And Colton couldn't sleep. The news had affected him more than he expected it to.
He tried to remain expressionless when he first saw it. Colton thinks he succeeded judging from the frustrated reaction of Phillip when he looked at him.
Colton knew Phillip was waiting for his reaction. But he just couldn't show him. At least not in front of his fiancée and his best friend.
"We didn't see it coming, did we?" A voice said from behind him. Colton was a bit shocked, but he instantly recovered. He knows who owns that voice.
"May I join you, man?" the voice asked.
Colton was very tempted to say "No", but the tiredness and pain in the guy's voice immediately stopped his bitterness. He didn't answer him, but he nodded. From the corner of his eye, he saw Phillip sit at the chair beside his.
They were silent for a few minutes, but Colton broke it. And the words were out of his mouth even before he can stop himself.
"Why did you let it happen?" he asked, his voice a little accusing. He heard Phillip let out a deep breath beside him. Colton waited for him to answer his question.
"I have to," Phillip simply answered. "But it doesn't mean my feelings changed or will change."
"It's still not right," Colton answered. "I hate you, man. I let her go for you. I thought you'll take care of her and never hurt her. To make you feel worst, I thought you'll never let her go. But here you are doing exactly just that," he said, resentment in his voice. Phillip couldn't blame him. All he just said were true.
"I don't have anything to say to defend myself, Colton," Phillip admitted. "I have no excuse for what I did except that I'm doing this for her. But I am tired of explaining why."
Colton was quiet. Phillip took that as a sign that he's listening.
"Just so you know, Colton, I think Jessica would have been happier if she's chosen you," he said softly. "I'm sorry I was selfish enough not to let her go."
Still, Colton did not answer.
"This came as a shock to me," Phillip continued. "I don't know what Jess was thinking when she said that during her livestream, but I can't blame her. I hurt her."
This time, Colton looked at him. "Are you telling me you think Jay did this to hurt you? She's not that kind of girl, Phillip!"
Phillip shook his head. "No. I don't mean that. I meant maybe... she had decided, after all, to move on. With someone who can't hurt her. And that's her... best friend."
"Are you hurt?" Colton asked sarcastically. "I don't even see you that affected. You seemed very cool about all of these."
Phillip looked at him and smiled. "Sometimes, smile is the best way to hide the pain." Then he looked away from him.
Colton swallowed his retort. He knows what Phillip means.
"You are hurt," Phillip said. It wasn't a question.
Colton laughed bitterly. "Yes, I am. Is it obvious? Jessica is giving me her 'confused' look since yesterday. But can you blame me? I am in love with her, man! I gave her up because I thought it was just you. I had accepted it was you."
Then Colton let out a deep breath. "And here comes Deandre... well, he was good. We surely didn't see it coming," he said in a calmer voice.
They were quiet again for a little while. Each lost in his own thoughts.
"Are you letting her go for real?" Colton asked, finally ending the silence.
"Yes," said Phillip. "But I'll be back for her."
----
The next days were a curious sight for Jessica.
Phillip and Colton were eating breakfast together. Laughing together. She even sees their sudden frequent tweet exchanges.
It should have made Jessica happy. To see two of the special guys in his life talking again.
But it didn't. It made her feel worse. Alone.
Because they are both ignoring her. They now act as if she wasn't in the room.
As if she doesn't exist.
She can see the two of them going to dinners and movies with Phillip's fiancée. They even tweet each other.
Jessica is hurt. She should have been in her place. She should have been the one enjoying Phillip's love and Colton's friendship without complications.
She felt a little anger. Anger which was directed at Phillip. He started this game. Her PR team just went along with it. He has no right to act like this towards her.
But then she remembered. She knows what Phillip will do. He did warn her about it to spare her of some hurt.
But her plans with Deandre--- Phillip doesn't have a clue.
Maybe she does deserve this.
Deandre has been there, playing the perfect role of a boyfriend. She is so grateful she still has him. She loves him so much. But it has always been just friendship.
And there is the fact that he isn't and will never be.... Phillip.
---
A few more tours and she'll be free. Free from the heartaches caused by her friends and the man she loves.
Jessica blinked back a few tears as she made her way back to the tour bus. They had just finished a concert and she decided to skip the Meet and Greet, asking her publicist to apologize to her fans.
She felt emotionally drained. She doesn't want to break down in front of her Blujays. Her not meeting them is better.
Jessica tried to smile at the few staff she met on her way to the tour bus, but deep inside, she just wants to grimace and frown and cry and show the world what she really feels.
But she knows she can't. The moment she entered American Idol, she already knows she needs to be careful of her every action and every spoken word. The pressure to be careful doubled when she reached the Finals.
Jessica sighed as she reached their tour bus and climbed inside. She didn't want to remember the finals. Remembering it means remembering every moment with him.
And right now, he is making her feel this rollercoaster of emotions again. She had seen Phillip look at her when she excused herself awhile ago. Jessica had ignored him. She had learned to finally ignore him after a few days of him ignoring her.
But it still hurts. That, she can never deny.
Jessica took a deep breath as she went to get herself a glass of warm milk. She looked around the bus and frowned. She had wished for a quiet evening, but somehow, the absence of the girls' noise makes her want to bang her head on the bus walls to distract her from just... breaking down.
The girls. Jessica felt another pang of hurt when she remembered their reactions and their actions right after.
They are hurting her.
Elise stopped talking to her. Skylar forever has an accusing glare. Erika was ignoring her.
And Hollie. She might be the least hostile, but Jessica is hurt every time she catches her friend's eyes. She was disappointed.
Jessica felt betrayed. Her supposed girlfriends had turned her back on her. They're now ignoring her with the exception of Hollie. They were even starting to be BFF with Phillip's fiancée.
Most of the time, Jessica arrives at the bus, to find them having fun with each other. Yes, Hollie greets her, but the others treat her as if she wasn't there.
She prefers to just retire on her bunk and rest, ignoring the laughter of her friends.
It was painful. She used to be in her place. Watching her take her place is something painful. The Idols, who used to be her protectors, were suddenly her detractors all because of publicity stunt she was asked to do.
It wasn't even my idea. What do they want me to do? She thought, finally letting a few tears fall as she sat on her bunk.
A beep on her cellphone caught her attention.
It was Deandre:
"Hey, besty. I can still call you besty, right? Just don't show it to the media. :) Have a surprise for you. Come out of your bus in ten minutes. No peeping. I'll know if you peeped. See yah! Lav yah!"
Jessica smiled. Deandre's trying his best.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and went to the bathroom. She washed her face from the goo she calls make up and took a few deep breaths. After a few minutes, she felt a little better.
Jessica came out of the bathroom ready to meet Deandre. When she got her phone, he has a message for her:
"Okay. Come out now. Present is waiting. Hope it can make you smile, besty. : ) You've been hurt enough. It's time to make you smile again."
She laughed a little. Her best friend is really so caring. If only she can fall in love with him.
Jessica took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. She doesn't want to disappoint Deandre. She'll appreciate his efforts no matter what.
Jessica got off the bus. "Dre? Dre, where are you?"
"I'm so sorry, Jess," a voice behind her said. "I hacked Dre's phone, with his permission of course."
Jessica's heart stopped. She knows that voice. Slowly, she turned around.
And there he is, smiling shyly at her, his hands on his pocket, looking more handsome than ever. There was sadness in his eyes. Sadness that Jessica knows is reflected on hers.
"Phillip," she whispered.
"I miss you, Jess."