The video above belongs to Hinami.
The following two chapters will be told from Stan's and Kyle's POV. This is obviously not correct in terms of formatting but since this is how 11 year old me thought to write all this, I gotta deal with it. Editing is hard. I'm doing my best with what I can here lol. I keep going through my old writing and I cringe so fucking hard-fun times and uh, side story I guess.
Edited: 6/09/21
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Stan
"Wake up, you big worm."
...Did she throw a pillow at me? I had to open my eyes because of the impact and I obviously no longer felt safe now that I knew there was a psychotic bitch throwing things at me. A guy can't even take a nap in his own living room anymore, for fuck's sake.
"The fuck? Hey, why the hell are you here?" I threw the pillow back at her, an attempt at retaliation that I've been working on ever since entering high school. With my inability to aim for shit, I promptly missed and I must've knocked a glass off the counter in the kitchen because something broke. I cringed at the sound but I scrunched up my face again when I looked at my sister, "Didn't you leave state? You didn't tell anyone you were visiting."
"Why is it such a big deal?" I thought she was gonna chuck something else at me but she just glared, "You look like shit, by the way. Were you drooling?"
"God, shut up Shelly." At least she finally got rid of those annoying braces. Jesus, just listening to her talk made me want to euthanise myself. Shelly can speak more clearly now but she had formed a bit of a lisp over the years, "Did you get expelled or something? Mom and dad are gonna be so pissed."
I said this on my way to the bathroom. My sister didn't follow. Which is weird, because she would've beaten me to a pulp for even opening my mouth like this when we were younger. I guess maturity brings patience...? Didn't make her any nicer.
My sister was right though. I was a mess. Or at the very least, looked like one. No hat, my hair was sticking up in all directions somehow, clothes disheveled and I was really pale for some reason. Was I getting sick? Is this a bad omen?
"Do they even know you're here?" I yelled from the bathroom and I half expected her not to respond.
"No. Don't tell them or I'll break your ankles."
Good to know she still has her spunk.
It's still early. Couldn't she have let me sleep in for a little longer? Whatever, I guess I shouldn't have fallen asleep on the couch of all things. My back aches now.
Seeing as I have time until school starts, I just scrolled through my phone because wasting time is a specialty of mine. Almost absent-minded, I went through my contacts, out of habit more than anything else.
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Contacts: (let's take a fucking guess at who's referring to here 💀)
Baby💜
Best Bro
Fucking FatAss
Mandarin Pervert
TupperToken
Craig-🖕🖕🖕
Tweekers
Butters 👋
Satan
Tea Pip
Clyde, I think👟
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It's been a while since me and Kyle talked.
Honestly, Kenny is the only reason the two of us are on speaking terms. I got invited to play some video games over at Token's by Kenny and I wasn't told Kyle was gonna be there and I suppose the same was for him. Which, now that I think about it, might've been the whole point. And yeah, it was awkward but my God it could've been so much worse. So, to put it mildly-at the very least, he's not threatening to rip my throat out which is good to hear.
This whole fight was stupid anyway. I mean, he does have a bit of a temper but I've been instigating enough to the point it blew up past a normal bickering we have from time to time. So, I should text him and we should hang out again. As we always did.
You know, Wendy might skin me alive if she finds out that I prioritised anything other than our relationship. Which would suck.
So, I ended up prioritising Kyle and trying to salvage my friendship with him for that exact same reason. It's hard dealing with two hot-tempered people in your life at the same time. But, essentially, I just tried to patch things over some more with Kyle over text and ask him to come over so we can hang out. Since we really have been growing apart for the past few weeks or so. Months, you could argue.
Once that was over and done with, I got on a call with Wendy while getting dressed for school. Because...you know, wearing shirts with vomit stains on them isn't exactly standard uniform and I'm not expected to show up hangover as shit. Which I'm gonna do anyway but I should at least look good before people can tell I've travelled through the seven rings of Hell the night before.
It was then that my lovely girlfriend graciously reminded me that we had a date today. That I knew about. A hundred percentage. Written on my calendar ages ago. Mhmm, dinner reservations planned and everything. Yup, responsibilities are my thing.
No they aren't.
However, if me and Wendy are due to be out together at like...half past eight in the evening, then that means I can split my time before that between hanging out with my best friend and actually making reservations before she has the chance to find out.
Look at me....managing my time like a normal teenager. I'm glad to see that I still have at least a resemblance of a brain knocking around that old skull of mine.
"HEY! YOU HAVE TO COME CLEAN THIS SHIT UP BEFORE MOM AND DAD GET HERE-STAN!"
"Yeah, yeah, you can shut up now! I got it!"
***
School was normal, for the most part. Well, as normal as school in South Park can be. Nothing special happened until towards the end of the first period and even that was mild since Kenny does bullshit like this all the time.
Basically, sitting through English first thing in the morning, I'm thinking about what restaurants could have free tables for me and Wendy today since I obviously have nothing prepared. And I'm seriously deep in thought about this because my dignity is on the line. I'm not giving Wendy enough credit but still.
Kenny barged in, looking as if he run a fucking marathon pregnant while suffering from kidney failure; hoodie up, face covered and his gloves stuffed in his pockets. That snapped me to reality because the motherfucker really came in ten minutes before the lesson ended.
"Why are you this late Mccormick?" Ms. Robins didn't even turn around to face him, she just kept writing on the board.
"Mha luttli siftar asmost gut ropad" Kenny mumbled, with exaggerated gestures after a small pause.
"I have no idea what you just said so just go and sit down." She dismissed him and he came over before dropping himself on the seat next to mine.
"Your little sister got what, dude?" I squint at him, not understanding where he was coming from.
"Well fucking almost. I'm gonna assume that's what was happening because this little shit of a fifth grader was putting his filthy, little midget hands on her and eugh-" The blond made some grabby motion with his hands and then visibly gagged, "So I was late 'cuz I was busy scaring him off."
I raised an eyebrow at this,"Isn't she twelve?"
"Yeah, and what were we like when we were twelve?"
"Alright, fair plate."
And then the hour ended.
I don't share many classes with Kyle so I barely got to catch a glimpse of him all day. That's why, after lessons were finished, I had to wait for him by his locker. He always stops there to drop his books off because he doesn't feel like bringing them home. A habit of his he picked up over the years-abandon all his shit at school either to be efficient or out of laziness. Maybe both.
"Uh, Stan? Are you OK? "
I completely spaced out so when he did pop up next to me, he made me jump a bit. It's been happening a lot lately, me losing track of my surroundings. I expect it's because I'm drunk half the time it happens. I settled down and responded, hand on my chest as if to exaggerate how badly he scared me. What can I say, it pays to be dramatic. Besides, his freckled ass always managed to make my heart become all agitated like that.
"Hah? What's your problem asshole? Trying to give me a seizure?"
He scrunched up his nose at me, "Shut up, I wasn't the one staring off into space like an idiot. God knows what you were thinking about. Anyway, let's go." And then, probably trying to emphasise his point, he swatted at me with his notebook and ushered me out of the way so he could put his stuff in the locker I was blocking.
"Ky, I read in an article last night-"
"No, the fuck you didn't. You were probably drunk off your tits last night dude. Read an article my ass."
"Buzzfeed is surprisingly fun-"
"Stan, I'm not gonna take Buzzfeed quizzes with you once we get back."
"...you call yourself a best friend, tch."
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Alright that's part one . It's a little bit shorter than usual but that's because this whole thing is really big and I don't want to fit it in one chapter.
Part two will still be Kyle and Stan's Pov.
This is a formatting nightmare but view this as subplots of sorts. My writing style hasn't changed in 4 years wtf.
Bye people.😋