When he gets back to the safe haven two days later, he turns to look at his name on the rock again. Just as permanent as the others. Alby, Chuck, Winston, Ben, Teresa, Clint, Zart, Jeff; all his friends that didn't make it.
From the glade, all that remains is Thomas, Minho, Gally and Frypan. Newt believes in them. Especially if they have each other.
The anger and sadness that'd been building up from his past few times here is gone, replaced with a sense of calm. The sky is a beautiful blue, the sun shining bright. It hits the monolith at such an angle that it seems to shine, making Newt smile.
He takes his time walking to the hut he knows Thomas is in. Everyone is busy working, talking, going about their days. It's peaceful. It's their home.
Thomas, Minho, Gally, Frypan and Brenda are eating lunch, sitting around the table. Newt observes them for a few minutes, trying to look at Thomas.
He's actually eating his food a little, and Newt is glad to see it. He's not laughing loudly and talking like the rest of them, he's quiet, but there's a small smile on his face. It's enough to let Newt know he's doing the right thing.
"This shuckface throws me the piece of wood, giving me no warning, and it slams into the side of my head," Minho says, everyone laughing.
"That was not my fault," Gally laughs. "You turned after I threw it."
"Were you aiming for my head?" Minho says, his trademark smirk on his face.
"Maybe I was," Gally says. "If we're telling embarrassing stories, I've got one of Fry."
"I think we all have one of Fry," Brenda says.
"Hey!" Frypan laughs. "I've got dirt on all of you."
"As good as the sand incident?" Gally asks.
"Don't you dare man," Fry says.
Newt finally walks over, putting a hand on Thomas' shoulder.
"Can we talk, Tommy?"
Thomas jumps up, everyone else looking at him.
"Excuse me a moment," Thomas says.
"You good?" Brenda asks.
Minho looks at Thomas and Thomas nods. "I'm fine. I'll be back in a minute."
Minho and Brenda share a quick look but let Thomas go.
Thomas walks out, not stopping 'til he gets to a small secluded area behind one of the huts. "Newt?" he asks. "Are you here?"
Newt puts a hand on Thomas shoulder and concentrates. He's not tired today, so it doesn't take him long.
"Hey, Tommy," Newt says, giving him a smile. "Let's talk."
"About what?" Thomas asks. "You're making me nervous."
"Don't be," Newt says. Thomas nods, so he continues, putting his hand back down to his side. "I was scared back in the maze, when I climbed that wall. When Minho found me I was in so much pain, I've never felt worse. But it gave me a second chance. When you came up in that box, I felt like I got something back. I got my fight back."
"Newt..." Thomas trails off.
"When I died, I was mostly afraid of hurting you. So you being alive, Minho being alive, all this? That's what I died for. It was worth it," Newt says. "I'm happy. I'm happy seeing that you guys made it."
"You should be here too," Thomas says. "You are."
"Maybe I should," Newt smiles. "But I'm okay with it. I've made my peace."
"I need you," Thomas interjects.
"No," Newt says. "You might want me here, but you don't need me."
"Yes I do, Newt. I can't do this without you. Whenever you're not here I only get worse," Thomas says. "I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm only okay with you."
"But you're not, are you?" Newt says. "I know you don't realize it, but my being here has hurt more than it's helped."
"That's not true," Thomas shakes his head. There are tears glistening in his eyes. He can tell what this is.
"It's my fault," Newt says. "I'm here for a reason."
"Because I need you," Thomas says.
"No, Tommy. I'm here to tell you that you don't," Newt says. "Every time I just tell you that you don't have to do it alone, and in a way I was right. You have them." Newt gestures back to the hut.
"But..." Thomas starts.
"You can lead them," Newt says. "Take the time you need, but you can do it. They'll follow you just like I have. They trust you."
"Look at me, Newt," Thomas says. "I can't even keep myself together."
"You've been through a lot, they all have," Newt says. "They understand. So you, Minho, Fry, Gally, Brenda, Aris, Sonya, Harriet, Vince, Jorge-you're leading together. That doesn't seem so scary, does it?"
"Without you?" Thomas says.
"I'll never really be gone," Newt says. "Talk to me any time you'd like. I'll be listening."
"Why can't you stay?" Thomas asks. "Why can't we keep doing this?"
Newt doesn't have any answers Thomas would like, so he just keeps the soft smile on his face, shaking his head. "When I first got here, you wouldn't stop working."
"I needed a distraction," Thomas says.
"You can relax now," Newt says. "You've escaped, you did it. You're safe now. Don't overwork yourself so much. And stop being hard on yourself, too. I wouldn't change a thing, remember? I know you blame yourself for me and the others, but you shouldn't. None of this was your fault, and nobody would be here without you. So spend time with the others, talk at the bonfires, make this a home for yourself. You deserve that."
"But you deserved to be here," Thomas says quietly, the words coming out as more of a plea.
"I know," Newt says. "And I've seen it. It's beautiful. It makes me realize that me and everyone else died for something good. But I'm getting tired, Tommy, and I'd like to see what else there is."
"What if there's nothing?" Thomas asks, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Newt reaches up and wipes it away with his thumb. "I'm willing to take that chance. But if me being here right now proves anything, I think there's something out there."
"We never even got a chance," Thomas says, Newt barely able to hear his words. "It's not fair."
"I know," Newt says. "But you can't focus on the what-ifs. I loved my time with you, and I'll never forget it."
"I'm not ready," Thomas says after a moment of silence.
"You will be," Newt says. "Maybe this isn't goodbye. But I don't want to see this face of yours for a long time, you hear me? Take care of yourself."
"I can't..." Thomas trails off. "I'll never stop missing you."
"I'm not asking you to," Newt says. "But there's more out there for you. It's been difficult, I know, but you have Minho for that. I'll miss you too, you know that?"
"Then why would you leave?" Thomas asks.
Newt lets out a sad laugh. "Like I told you, it's time."
"Will I still feel you here?" Thomas asks.
"I don't know," Newt says truthfully. "Maybe. I'll never stop watching over you lot, alright? That I promise."
Thomas shakes his head. "So what now? I just say bye and let you leave?"
"Now," Newt says, taking Thomas' hand in his, "you start your new life."
Thomas goes to speak, undoubtedly another objection, but stops himself before responding.
"Thank you," he says through his tears. "Thank you for everything."
"Thank you," Newt says. "You gave me a reason to keep going."
"You give me one, too," Thomas says.
"I hope so," Newt says.
Thomas leans forward and hugs Newt, Newt hugging back with everything in him. He'll miss this more than he'd care to admit.
"I love you," Thomas says, pulling away.
"I love you too, Tommy," Newt says. "You'll never be alone."
Newt probably shouldn't do this, but he reaches up and kisses Thomas' forehead before looking into his eyes.
"I'm happy. I'm not scared," Newt says. "I'm ready, and so are you."
Thomas nods, seemingly trying to take Newt's face in.
"'Til we meet again, Newt," Thomas says, wiping away a tear.
"'Til we meet again, Tommy," Newt says, reaching down and taking both of Thomas' hands in his and squeezing them as Thomas closes his eyes.
When he lets go, Newt looks up at the sun. It looks to be getting brighter by the second.
He looks back at Thomas and he opens his eyes, his expression changing. Newt feels him looking through him, then wiping his eyes, still crying. But it feels different now. He'll be okay.
Newt turns back to the sun and decides to follow it, hating to walk away from Thomas but knowing it makes no difference. He's gone. As he walks back through the safe haven, he looks around. They'll all be okay. They'll build a beautiful home for themselves and start over. They're the future.
Once he's close enough, he realizes where he's going. The monolith.
The closer he gets, the stronger the light gets, and nobody else seems to see it but him.
When he gets to the rock, he turns around one last time. He can see Tommy walking back into the hut with his friends, making him smile. He's already following Newt's advice.
Newt turns to the rock and puts his hand over his name again, and the whole thing lights up under his touch.
Suddenly, there is no rock. No safe haven, either. Just light. Him and light.
He closes his eyes from the brightness, and when he opens them, he's in a place that's both familiar and unfamiliar. It's a street, just like he always imagined. There's houses and cars, and the sun burns normally in the sky. But that's not what he notices first.
What he notices first are the people. Everyone they had lost. Alby, Chuck and Teresa are standing closest, but they're all there. They look happy and sad to see him, but Newt is nothing but happy.
Then, there's a new feeling that washes over him. Remembrance.
Newt turns, the smile on his face growing when he sees the pair.
"Mum? Dad?"