Niall had been quite the busy body this school year. It was supposed to be a good thing for Zayn that he was now going to school with him. But he found that they really did not talk much. He rarely saw him in the hallway and even then, they did not have time to stop and hold a conversation. The only time he ever saw Niall was at lunch time when he came to see him in the library. But most times Niall didn't bring lunch so he ate in the cafeteria.
However, when the new semester started, Niall began to make a habit of bringing his own lunch and coming to the library. Zayn didn't ask, but he really did wonder if there was a reason. There had to be a reason for him wanting to sit and eat with him. Especially if it was this sudden.
The whole purpose of Zayn going outside to eat whenever he brought lunch was that food and drink was not allowed in the Library unless there was some big special event being held in there. But thanks to the sweet Librarian, Mrs. Shaw, Zayn was able to eat in a little room inside the Library, where they usually used stencil machines to cut paper to tack to the bulletin boards at the school. She was skeptical about having Niall join. But the only reason she'd let Zayn in was because of everything that had happened to him in the years before. She figured it might be good to allow him a friend. Maybe things might even look up for him as far as his social group went.
"So..." Niall said as he enjoyed his lunch next to Zayn in the little room. "Can you believe that after a semester, I'm finally eating with you in the Library?"
"Not really. But I'll be back outside when it gets warm again. Maybe you can come out there with me too."
"Um.. Yeah, That sounds cool."
"So anyway, how's Harry?" Niall asked.
Niall had not known that Zayn was dating Harry until he saw the hickeys that day and asked. But now that Zayn was really thinking about it, it was after that when Niall started coming around more often. Maybe it was because he felt bad about everyone pointing the marks out that day.
"You should see for yourself."
"And how am I gonna do that?"
"Simple. Come over this afternoon."
"Really? I've never been over to your place before."
"Then you should definitely take the invite. Plus I know you haven't seen Harry and Gemma in forever."
"Yeah true. I might. But only if you promise not to make me a third wheel."
He thought for a moment. "I can promise you. But I can't say that my boyfriend will."
Niall frowned and took a bite of his sandwich. "Ugh. Lovers."
.
.
.
Zayn was sitting in math class, trying to do the assignment when he heard Liam call the teacher's name.
"Mr. Nigel. I need help. This shit looks like a foreign language to me."
The class laughed at him. They thought was funny that he wasn't afraid to curse in front of the teacher. But Zayn still didn't find it funny. He thought the teacher would get angry at Liam. But Liam did it all the time and Mr. Nigel thought it was because something was wrong with him. He feared that if he scolded him for it, Liam would one day leave and never come back.
"Please try not to curse in my classroom." he said as he made his way over to Liam's desk.
The students' attention went back to their own work, trying to figure out the angles of right triangles and their hypotenuse. Sometimes Zayn got a little stumped by it. But he understood it and rarely asked for help.
"You have to listen carefully to how I explain this." Zayn heard the teacher say to Liam.
"But I can't do it."
"Will you try?"
"I am trying. I just don't get it and I never will. Math is a shitty course. You know that?"
The teacher exhaled deeply. "Liam, the cursing really has to stop."
He grunted, folded his arms and sat back in his desk. "Explain to me how to do this again."
The teacher went on to show him step by step how to solve the problem, even writing it down. But Liam just never seemed to get it. The frustration was clearly growing for both of them.
"Let's try another problem." The teacher tried but Liam cut him off.
"No, I don't want to do another one! I hate this school and I hate the teachers. No one is helping me!"
"I'm trying-"
But Liam stood up. "Fuck you! And fuck all of this is bullshit! You and everyone in here can kiss my ass."
And with that, he took his backpack and left the classroom.
The class stood in awe of his sudden outburst. Louis was just as shocked as everyone else. He hadn't expected that to happen either. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. Zayn wasn't sure what to do, but he knew he needed to stay out of Liam's way for the rest of the day. He seemed pretty heated.
After that, Mr. Nigel sat at his desk and cancelled the assignment once and for all. Zayn could tell he was wondering the same thing that he was wondering. What was wrong with Liam? What was troubling him so much? He was usually rude and obnoxious on a daily basis, but this was a weird change and it was happening way too fast.
First it was cocaine and now there was a sudden change in attitude. Zayn wasn't sure how many times he was going to have to tell himself something was wrong before someone worked up the courage to try and find out what it was. But he hoped they did before Liam damaged himself for good.
.
.
.
After school, Niall decided to ride the bus with Zayn to his house. So Zayn was on his way to meet Niall at the sidewalk out in front of the school. But he was stopped abruptly when Liam grabbed his arm and pulled him around the side of the school building. A chill went through Zayn's body when a cold wind started blowing from the north.
"You piece of shit." Liam grumbled. Zayn could smell it again. The weed. It was strong. Apparently Liam had himself a smoke when he left math and then came back to the school campus. But he wasn't high. "You think you have everything, don't you?"
Zayn was confused. "What?"
Liam reached in his pocket and pulled out a silver object. Zayn recognized right away that it was a pocket knife.
"Why don't you ever say anything back when I threaten you then? Am I just not scary enough?"
What a question to ask when he had a knife pointed at him. Because Zayn was terrified now.
"Do I look weak? Do I look like I shit rainbows?!"
"I- I don't understand."
"Do you think I'm stupid, Zayn?! Huh?! He didn't give him a chance to say anything before he was answering his own question. "Apparently that's what people think I am because that's what Louis told me a couple minutes ago. Apparently I'm stupid because I tried cocaine. But what if I'm just trying it out just to see what it's like? Ever thought about that!" He put the knife to Zayn's nose and Zayn gasped.
"Can you please put the knife away?" He tried, but Liam went on.
"Do you think Louis ever stops to think about how I feel? Or what's going on with me? Hell no. He only wants to criticise me for what I choose to do. Its my body. And I can do whatever the fuck I want to do with it. Its my decision." Then his whole facial expression changed and he slowly lowered the knife. "I mean...I'm dying anyway right? If I choose not to kill my self...its not like it won't change the outcome."
When Zayn heard that, he gasped even louder than he did when the knife was put to his face. Did Liam just hint at suicide? No way. Not Liam. He couldn't have. Suddenly Liam sank to the ground at Zayn's feet and tears were pouring from his eyes.
What just happened? Zayn asked himself. He didn't know what to do. No one else was on this side of the building with them to help, so he was all alone in trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't just leave him. Not if he was talking about ending his life.
He knelt down and slid the knife from Liam's hand. After retracting the blade, he put it in his coat pocket. "Liam. Is something wrong?"
He shook his head at Zayn and his whole face turned sour. Zayn backed out of the way just in time as Liam turned to throw up. Zayn felt sorry for him. He'd worked him self up so much that he had to vomit.
"I hate my life now." Liam grunted and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I just want it to end."
There were those words again. Apparently he was contemplating suicide. Maybe he was Zayn's bully. But one thing Zayn could never see him ever doing was rooting for Liam to take his own life at such a young age just to leave him alone.
He held out his hand to Liam and held back his own tears. "Let me help you up. You should come with me. We'll ride the bus to my place with Niall and my mother can take you home later when she gets home. It's not a good idea to walk by yourself right now."
Liam was surprised. Was Zayn really offering this to him or was he dreaming? "You're serious?
"Yes. There's gonna be a few people there you don't know, but at least you won't be by yourself. And that's what's most important right now."
Liam looked at the back of his hands and sighed heavily. "That's a nice invitation Zayn but I can't accept it."
But Zayn put a hand on his shoulder. "I wasn't giving you choice."
Liam only stared at up him. He knew it wasn't a dream but somehow it still didn't seem real. He couldn't bring himself to say it but it really impressed him that Zayn was still there after everything he had done to him in the past. He reached out for Zayn's hand and allowed him to help him up and walk with him. But he let go when they got in the crowd of people.
Niall had given Zayn a weird look when he saw him with Liam. But he didn't say anything since he was right there.
When they got to Zayn's house, Zayn called Harry and Gemma over. But Zayn did not think it was a good idea for Gemma to be around Liam, so he told her to go upstairs to his room and draw as soon as she same in. Harry didn't understand why because at the time, he had not even seen Liam yet or even known he was there. But when Zayn explained that he was, Harry could not believe it. And he certainly didn't know why Zayn didn't want him to say anything negative to him.
Niall was lying out in the middle of the floor. Zayn was on the couch with Harry whose legs were across his lap. And Liam was sitting on the floor with his back against one of the couches.
"Niall, I haven't seen you since that pizza party this past summer." Harry said. "How is everything?"
"Pretty good. Well, except for school. My teachers all think homework is candy on Halloween. They just give it out freely."
Liam chuckled at that.
"Oh. Sorry."
"You're lucky you're home schooled. You can at least work at your own pace."
"Yes. I guess I am lucky. But I cannot deny that learning still makes me tired."
"It makes everyone tired." Zayn chimed.
Niall nodded. "Tired and hungry." Then he looked up. "Speaking of hungry. Do you have anything to snack on in there, Zayn?"
"Yeah. There's pastries and snack size bags of chips in there."
"Ah sweet. Can you show me where they are?"
Zayn removed Harry's legs from his lap and he stood up and went following Niall into the Kitchen.
"Niall is interesting, huh?" Liam said to Harry with a thick chuckle.
But Harry didn't want to Laugh. He used this opportunity to tell Liam how he felt. He got up from the couch and leaned down in front of him, speaking almost in a whisper.
"I know who you are, Liam. Zayn tells me about you sometimes and all those mean things you've said and done. I don't like it. In fact it pisses me off. You don't understand how good of a person he really is and he does not deserve the things you've done to him. He's been through a lot in his life. The least you could do is leave him alone."
Liam raised his brow. "Seeing as how close you two are, I'm guessing you're his-"
"That's right." Harry cut him off. "I am. He's come a long way. And you are not going to screw it up. So just leave him alone. Honestly, I'm not sure why you're even here. But since you are, I figured you should know how I feel. And make sure you tell your little friend Louis everything I've said when you see him too."
Just as Harry folded his arms and glared at him, Zayn conveniently walked in with a glass of water and handed to him. "Here, drink this. "It will make you feel better."
He took long sips and thanked Zayn multiple times. When Harry returned to the couch again, Liam thought about what he said and he knew he was right. Zayn really was a good person and he was slowly starting to see it. Suddenly, he felt guilty for the things he had done.
Later when Niall had finished eating, Liam faced him.
"You've had like three pastries and two bags of chips. You must have a big appetite." He told Niall.
"Yeah."
"You sound like me. But only after I smoke. That's when I have the munchies."
"Why do you smoke?" Niall asked.
Liam lowered his voice, keeping the conversation between the two of them. "Because it's fun. It also takes your mind off of things."
"Things like what? I didn't think you worried about anything. You're always parading around school like a king or something."
Liam shook his head. "Far from it."
"Then why are you always acting like a douche to people?"
"Is that what you think I am?"
"It's what you make yourself out to be. Look at you now. Bragging about having the munchies."
"You say that, but you wouldn't understand."
"Why not? I'm a teen, just like you."
Liam rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, but there's deeper things, Niall. It isn't just a teen problem. But I don't really want to talk about it."
"What about Louis?"
"What about him?"
"Would you talk about it with him?"
"Hell no. He called me stupid. I'm not speaking to him right now."
Niall saddened. "Oh. I'm sorry. But if you don't like him calling you stupid, how do think that makes others feel when you call them names? I'll tell you. It feels just as bad."
Liam thought about what he said. "I know. I guess I thought it was just harmless fun. Have I ever said anything harmful to you?"
"No. I don't think you ever have."
Liam's whole face relaxed. "Yeah, I don't think so either. There's not much I see on you to say harmful things about you. You have a pretty little face and a nice personality. And you're pretty smart too. I even like you a little."
Niall gave Liam a wide smile and hoped Zayn and Harry hadn't been listening. But he didn't have to worry. They were too busy engrossed in each other to notice.
"Yeah, well you should drink your water. You really need it."
.
.
.
By the time Patricia came home from work, Liam was feeling much better. Zayn finally let Gemma come down because she was bored of upstairs but she ended up falling asleep on the couch anyway. Harry noticed that Niall had gravitated to Liam and they were having a nice conversation. So Zayn and Harry slipped upstairs to his bedroom and closed the door behind them.
Zayn sat in the bed and Harry climbed over top of him.
"Oh, I like you better this way." Harry said..
"Nope." Zayn warned. "There are other people here. We are not going to do what we did last time."
Harry wrapped his arms around Zayn's neck and smiled. "Fine. But I'm still allowed to kiss you."
With that, they both just melted into a sloppy and hungry kiss. Zayn's hands traveled up the back of Harry's shirt and he lifted it so that the skin of his back was showing. When Harry stopped kissing him, Zayn leaned forward and sucked on his neck and he appreciated the way Harry tilted his head sideways and exposed it even more.
"I love it when you kiss me. "Harry said and he closed his eyes with a very quiet moan and pushed his chilled fingertips under Zayn's shirt to feel his chest.
"I love to kiss you."
"Hmm. What do you suppose Liam and Niall are talking about?"
Zayn stopped. "Why?"
"Because they seemed be in their own little world. As if... I don't know. Like there was something there."
Zayn chuckled. "Does it matter? You should not be worried about them while you're in here with me. I'm the only one who should have your attention right now."
"Don't be jealous, Zaynie." Harry teased. "It's your lap I'm sitting in. Not theirs."
"Still though."
He tapped Harry on the butt and then bit his neck. This time his moan was not quiet. But unfortunately it was at the wrong time because Niall just happened to burst in the room as he did it.
"Oh no, Zayn! Harry!" He quickly closed the door.
"No, Niall. It's okay. Come in!" Zayn said and he cursed himself. How did he forget to lock the door?
"Everyone have clothes on?" He asked.
Harry rolled his eyes and rolled off of Zayn. "Niall, open the door."
The door slowly opened and he peeked around it. "Oh, Okay. All I saw was skin and I heard a moan and I didn't know what to think."
"Yeah, and what do you want?"
"I came up here to tell you that Liam is ready to leave before it gets too dark. And it looks like I came just in time too. Shame on you two."
"We weren't even doing anything." Harry said.
"Just moaning for no reason, right?" Niall said. "And don't you know that's how it starts? One moment it's innocent kisses and then the next moment, the covers are fucked up and Harry-"
"Okay." Zayn interrupted. "We get it, Niall. We do."
He put both of his hands up. "I'm just saying. I just saved your asses too. I could have been Gemma. Or worse, your mom."
He disappeared from the doorway and Harry and Zayn looked at each other nervously.
"Good thing it wasn't Gemma." Harry said. "Imagining me explaining that to her."
"Imagine if it was my mother though. Imagine me having to explain it to her." He countered and they both got up.
"Good thing it was Niall then."
"Agreed. And also next time, we should remember to lock the door so that it isn't anybody."
"Mhm."
When they got downstairs, Gemma came over to Harry. "I didn't know where you were when I woke up."
"That's okay. I'm here now."
Zayn went over to Liam. "Did you want my mom to take you home? She doesn't mind, I'm sure." Zayn offered.
Liam shook his head. "No. I'll just walk home. I think that's better anyway. It'll give me time to think and maybe the cold air will help me feel better." He looked around. "Before I leave though, I wanted to talk to you for a bit. But It seems like you have a full house so that's probably not possible."
"No, it's okay." Zayn said. "We can go out on the front porch. Let me go grab my coat."
Zayn got his coat from the couch, put it on and then followed Liam out the front door.
"I really wanted to thank you." Liam said. "For everything. I really appreciate it. I guess it's times like this when you find out who your real friends are."
Zayn knew what he was referring to. "But Louis is a real friend. I know he called you stupid but that's not what he meant. He was talking about what you were doing was stupid. The cocaine, you know?"
"And how do you know that's what he meant?"
Zayn shrugged. "Do you ever look at his face every time you say you're skipping school? It completely changes every single time. He wants you to do better for yourself. That's why he was disappointed that you tried cocaine. He's not used to you using those types of drugs. Neither am I."
Liam stared at Zayn. "You really noticed that?"
"Yes."
"So is that why you're so quiet? So you can sit back and watch everybody."
"No. Being quiet to me meant ignoring everyone. But if you're around Harry long enough, you learn to pay attention to a lot more things."
Liam chuckled. "So Harry, huh? I always thought it was some girl leaving those hickeys. But it was Harry all along. I didn't even know you were..." Liam was afraid to say it.
"I'm not." Zayn finished. "I don't like guys. I just like Harry. I'm not sure if that's hard or easy for anyone else to understand but that's the way it is."
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that, you know? I wouldn't have laughed at you if you said you were."
Zayn worked up a smile but didn't say anything else on the subject. "I won't tell anyone about what happened today. So don't worry. Also, here's your pocket knife." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled it out. Liam took it from him.
"Thank you. And yeah... Sorry if I scared you with this earlier. I was never going to cut you. I was feeling very... I wasn't myself."
Zayn saddened. He really wished he would open up to someone. "You're not going to kill yourself, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't pretend, Liam. I know what you're thinking. And you may not be anywhere near close to my favorite person in the world but I know when someone changes suddenly because I've done it myself. I know that you've changed suddenly and I don't want you to do anything to hurt yourself."
Liam nodded his head and turned away from him to the cold wind. "Do think you could tell Niall I'm ready to leave? We live in the same neighborhood and I just thought it would be nice to have someone."
Zayn knew he was avoiding the rest of the conversation but he said nothing. "Sure. Just a minute."
→→→→→
"You're mighty chirpy today." Zayn told Niall the next day at lunch. "What happened to you yesterday?"
"Oh, you know. Just school. Then I went over to your house. And then Liam walked me home. No biggie."
Zayn almost spit out his food? "Liam walked you home?!"
"And he may have made it his business to talk to me this morning so he had a good excuse to walk me to my homeroom class. But that's no big deal either."
Zayn swallowed his food and sat back in his chair. "What happened yesterday when I wasn't there? Tell me now."
"Oh you mean when you and Harry were upstairs ripping each others clothes off? Nothing much. We just talked."
Zayn did not entertain his Harry mention. "Talked? Nothing else happened?"
"No."
"Then how can you be sure he likes you?"
"He told me."
"Really? He just said it? And what about you? Do you like him back?"
He thought for a moment. "Maybe I could. If he changes first. However, when he's not in his right mind, you learn a lot about him and he's not really a bad guy. I just think he has a lot on his mind. He didn't tell me what it was but it isn't hard to tell something is bothering him."
Zayn nodded. "Yeah. I agree." Then he laughed. "Wait, yesterday you were worried about being a third wheel and look at you. I told you, you had nothing to worry about."
"I still felt like one when I walked in on you two. That was the last thing I wanted to see." He looked at Zayn's neck. "Hmm. No hickeys today. Looks like I stopped progress this time."
"Don't make fun of me. If you and Liam keep this up, you'll be making hickeys on him." Then Zayn went on as a tease. "All over him."
Niall elbowed Zayn's side and then blushed. "Stop it. It's way too soon."
.
.
.
"You won't be able to guess what happened." Harry said when Zayn came in.
"What?"
"No seriously, guess."
"I'm not good at these, Harry. You know that."
"Okay fine. I'll tell you."
Harry pulled Zayn on the couch and helped himself in his lap. "Yesterday when Gemma and I left your house and went through the hole in the fence, we came up to the back door. Gemma wasn't paying attention. But I was and I saw them kissing in the kitchen."
"Who?"
"Guess."
"Harry. What did I tell you?"
"Oh right. It was my mom and Peter."
"What? You're lying."
"Nope. So Gemma and I stayed outside for a couple more minutes and waited just to let them have some privacy. And when we came in, I pretended I didn't see anything."
"Wow. What was he doing here?"
"I don't know. Mom said he just stopped by. And I think things went on from there. I knew I was right, Zayn. I knew they had a thing for each other. It's about time something happened between them. It's been nearly three years."
"Before you get too excited." Zayn warned. "Whatever you do, don't let them know you know. That means don't try to figure things out for them either. They should go at their own pace."
"Since when did you become an expert of relationships?"
"Never. I think we both know that I'm not that great when it comes to those."
But Harry just smiled. "Well I think you're pretty good in this one. That's all that matters to me." He got up from his lap and took Zayn's hand, pulling him up.
"Where are we going?"
"Upstairs."
"Why?" Zayn removed his hand from Harry's and followed him to the steps.
"I was rudely interrupted by Niall yesterday and we have about twenty minutes before Gemma gets home. We are definitely finishing up where we left off."
Zayn smirked and then tucked his hands in Harry's back pockets. "Do you know how to lock the door then?"
"I locked my mom out the house when I was nine, Zayn. I'm positive I haven't forgotten."