Just Friends

Chapter 19

"Again!?" Jeongguk laughs out.

"I can't help it." Taehyung rolls over on his back in the bed, arms spread out. "Jeonggukie. . . It's just. . .I've never experienced anything like this."

Quite literally. 

"Well, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself," Jeongguk giggles.

"So good." Taehyung sighs, then rolls back over until he and Jeongguk are face-to-face.

"But. . . How is this so easy for you?"

"What do you mean?" Taehyung asks.

"I mean, you know. . ." Jeongguk smashes his knuckles. "With the switch from girls to guys," he chuckles nervously. "You've seemed to just. . .ease right through it."

"Oh. I don't know," Taehyung answers, pausing to think about it. Because if he really does think about it, his quick acclimation to intimacy with Jeongguk is rather impressive—considering how intimacy has gone down in his past relationships, lacking passion and spark and all those fluttery good things. "I was really nervous at first—I could hardly be around you at all."

Jeongguk giggles. "Really?"

"Yeah, it was so difficult, I could barely see straight at times. And then, I don't know. . .I guess over time it got easier." Taehyung shrugs. "I guess it's just because I feel so comfortable around you."

And because of how unbelievably attracted to you I am. 
Yeah, totally not the second one.

And then, before Jeongguk can respond, he asks, "Why? How long did it take you to do things like this?"

Jeongguk hums. "Actually, not long, either."

And with that answer, they both fidget, seemingly uncomfortable with that answer.

For Jeongguk, the reason why is unknowable to Taehyung.

For Taehyung, it's something yucky in his chest. It feels weird. And his stomach, it's all tied up in a painful knot. 

Though, at the same time, he can't help but feel curiosity triple down on top of the uncomfortable feelings, drowning them out. 

"Tell me," Taehyung says softly. "About your first time."

"You know about my first time."

"No," Taehyung giggles. "Your first time with a boy."

Jeongguk looks really uncomfortable then.

"Eh, I don't know, Taehyung. Do you really want to know that?"

"Sure, why not?"

"It wasn't great."

"Usually first times aren't," he laughs. 

"No, yeah, you're right—it's just. . .he uh. . ." Jeongguk swallows, looking down at his fingers. "He got a little rough with me."

Taehyung's expression drops as a wave of cold washes over him. "He what? Like, how?" Taehyung doesn't mean to ask. Knows he probably shouldn't have, but it's too late now. The words have already left his mouth.

"Like, in a mean way. He-he wasn't a nice guy. Said some mean things. Did some mean things." Jeongguk shrugs it off like it's nothing while Taehyung's knotted up stomach churns.

"Jeongguk—I—I'm sorry that happened to you."

"No—Hyung, don't be—"

"And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"Hey, it's okay," Jeongguk whispers, moving in towards Taehyung to snuggle him close.

"Why are you comforting me?" Taehyung asks into his chest, feeling absurdly selfish.

With his chin resting atop his head, Jeongguk answers, "Because I can tell you're not okay. But I want you to know that I am. I'm okay."

Taehyung's eyes shut with hope that it's true, that Jeongguk is okay. And his eyebrows furrow tightly with confusion, wondering how anyone could do that to him—it makes Taehyung want to do seriously awful things. Like, if he could track down this guy he would. 

Not that it matters, the bastard's probably long gone now.

Ugh, this is really upsetting. How did Taehyung not know about this? I mean, he knows Jeongguk is a private person, especially when it comes to personal issues, but this. . .

Why didn't he ever tell me what happened?
Probably because he knew how you would have reacted.

"What about you?" Jeongguk suddenly asks, pulling back, yanking Taehyung out of his dark state. "Is this really the first time you've ever done anything with another guy?"

Taehyung nods. "Mmhm."

"You really surprised me, Taehyungssi."

"The possibilities are endless with me," he says with a wave of his hand and a mischievous grin.

"I guess so," Jeongguk giggles. "I have a feeling you're going to keep me on my toes."

Taehyung moves back a little so that he can search Jeongguk's eyes. "Is that bad?"

"Eh, I'm used to it by now."

Taehyung breaks out into a smile and pushes at Jeongguk's chest. "You brat."

"Brat!?" He laughs. "I'm not the brat in this relationship. You are."

Taehyung freezes, wide-eyed at Jeongguk.

Whoa. Relationship?

"I-I didn't mean—I meant like, friendship-relationship—not like, you and I are like—"

"Oh? So, what are we, then, Jeongguk?" Taehyung asks, one eyebrow raised, trying to hold back the smile that threatens to grow on his face. "Just friends?"

"I-I-I. . ." Jeongguk blinks rapidly. He sits up in the bed and runs a hand through his hair. He's pale, looking like he's just seen a ghost.

"I mean, you admitted you've liked me since you met me, right?"

"Right."

"So it's not that you're only attracted to me."

Jeongguk lets out a puff of air. "Right."

"Well. . ." Taehyung sits up, too. His eyes soften as he looks at Jeongguk. "I like you, too. Like, more than just friends."

Jeongguk's shoulders relax, his face drops into this dreamy state as his smaller, pouty lips stretch into a shy smile. "You do?"

"I do."

At that moment, a gust of wind smacks into the side of the cottage—air shoots down into the chimney and snuffs out the fireplace, and the electricity in the cottage flickers and then goes completely out, leaving them in total darkness. The sound frightens Taehyung so much, he inadvertently grips onto Jeongguk's hand.

"It's okay, this is normal for storms like this," Jeongguk says, turning to light the candles on the bedside table while Taehyung glances around at all the windows and doors, wary they'll not withstand the blustering wind.

"Promise?"

"You're safe," Jeongguk answers, and the way he says it with that soothing tone, gripping back onto his hand makes Taehyung believe him wholly. It takes the edge off his nerves, easing him a little.

"What will we do without the heater, and the fireplace?" Taehyung asks quickly, when the realization hits him that they have nothing to keep them warm. "I can already feel the temperature dropping."

"Well Taehyungssi, I have bad news. . ." Jeongguk gets up and goes over to the wardrobe. He grabs every blanket and sheet he can find and carries the pile back over to the bed where he plops them. "We'll have to get pretty close tonight."

Taehyung breaks out into a smile, covering it with a hand over his face.

"With these and and some extra layers over those thin pieces of fabric you call pajamas, you'll be just fine."

Taehyung scoffs. "With these and you in the bed, I think I'll die of a heat stroke."

Jeongguk's eyebrows wiggle. "Is that because I'm so hot?"

Taehyung takes one of the folded blankets to shake it out. "It's because you're a damn furnace!" He says, barely getting the words out as he's tackled by Jeongguk, tickled mercilessly until he's squealing and laughing uncontrollably.

—><—

Taehyung awakens. It's the middle of the night and the wind is beating against the poor little cottage.

He feels bad for it. But it's keeping them safe, so he thanks it.

He turns over his shoulder and sees Jeongguk by his side. He's asleep, arm over his head that's tilted up, occasionally letting out soft little sounds that Taehyung couldn't even label snoring.

He wishes he were as heavy a sleeper as he is, then maybe he could sleep through the terrifying noises going on outside, too.

Taehyung rolls under the heavy weight of the fifty blankets they have layered on top of their bodies until he's facing Jeongguk. It might seem a little creepy, but he can't help but stare at what little he can see of him in the shadows.

He can't sleep, and the power is still out—what else does he have to do?

Besides, Jeongguk's so pretty; what better way for Taehyung to distract himself from the scary storm than to take this time to relentlessly admire the curves of his face. The roundness of his nose that takes Taehyung high before he falls down to the arches of his Cupid's bow which sits sharp above the pillowy swell of his lower lip.

And, Taehyung can hardly see them now, but he knows where each of those little freckles are stationed, set upon Jeongguk's milky skin like the brightest stars in the sky that never seem to leave with the others, the ones Taehyung always finds himself wishing upon.

If he could wish for anything right now, would he wish for this blizzard to go away? He can't really say.

What would have happened if they hadn't been stuck here? Would he really wish what's happened between them the last two days away?

At that moment, Jeongguk stirs. He stretches his arms and legs and with barely open eyes he turns towards Taehyung.

Taehyung thinks he should say something, but he doesn't get a chance to before Jeongguk's taking him in with an arm coming around his waist, pulling him in close. Really close.

The next thing he knows he's kissing him, his eyes closed while Taehyung's are wide because he can't even be sure Jeongguk's actually awake.

It's soft and slow, tongue moving lazily yet it's just as good as ever.

His hand around Taehyung's waist starts moving—up his back, down his ass and around to his thigh where he picks it up and slings it over his own leg.

Taehyung breaks the kiss for air, letting out soft breathy sounds as Jeongguk trails kisses down to his jaw, throat, neck, collarbones. And then, just when he thinks he'll stop there, he shifts his weight and he's on top of him, lifting Taehyung's shirt up, just enough to continue his wet mouthed kisses down his chest and stomach.

The sensation is tickling, hot. He nibbles here and there and it makes Taehyung flinch slightly each time.

Jeongguk continues south, so far he has to situate himself better between Taehyung's legs, and Taehyung wonders how far he'll go—concerning he's treading towards his growing aroused state. 

Seriously, is he awake? Maybe he's sleep drunk. Does he know what he's doing?

Maybe he should say something—but oh—Jeongguk is palming him through his pajamas now.

Okay, he's awake. He's awake and knows what he's doing. He must.

Taehyung bites down on his lower lip. Despite the little bit of soreness he has from all the grinding earlier, it feels good.

He can't see him under the sea of blankets but he senses Jeongguk pause. And then, fingers.

Fingers teasing the band of his pajama pants.

Taehyung's new to male on male interaction but he's not stupid. He knows what he's suggesting—another first.

But this is a first he's hesitating with. 

It's not that he doesn't want this. Universe knows he wants this—it's been so long since the last time. 

But is he ready for this? Something he deems more intimate than sex? Something he rarely enacts upon unless he truly trusts the person, or is in love with them (or at least what he would have thought was love)?

Except, this is Jeongguk. If anyone has his trust, it's Jeon Jeongguk. So, why not? 

Besides, everything else he's done with him with has been amazing and felt incredible. This could, too.

And Taehyung could use the distraction from the storm. 

So, Taehyung decides he'll allow it. He puts his hand under the blanket and squeezes Jeongguk's arm, then bucks his hips ever so slightly.

And Jeongguk takes the bait.

His fingers delve deeper into his waist band and pull down slowly. Meanwhile, in an attempt to ease his nerves, Taehyung stares up at the still ceiling fan and lets out a slow exhale.

Maybe this would be easier if he weren't under the blankets and could see him. Then again, maybe it's for the best that Jeongguk can't see Taehyung's scrunched up, embarrassed face as he waits for the impending moment he comes to some unfavorable realization about Taehyung's penis and breaks this whole deal off.

And then, it happens. 

Jeongguk's hand and mouth simultaneously wrap around him and instead of negative thoughts and Jeongguk popping out from under the covers with disgust and breaking of deals, there's a soft moan from Jeongguk and Taehyung's jaw slowly drops open.

It's all hot and wet and his tongue works slowly around the tip. 

Well, Jeongguk certainly knows what he's doing. 

Taehyung doesn't really want to think about where he's learned such skill but it's in Taehyung's favor—he's not even a minute in and Taehyung's already gripping onto the bedsheets, breathing fast, letting out broken whiney moans he tries to hold back lest he come off like a pathetic easy mess.

Maybe it's seriously been too long since he's last let someone do this. Maybe he should be a little more lax about it.

Or maybe all it takes is thinking of Jeongguk's mouth on him. 

Those lips. The must look divine around him right now. 

God, he really wishes he could see him. But it's cold. And, again, he's hesitant to pull back the covers, not wanting Jeongguk to see the mess he's causing above.

At some point another gust of wind smacks into the side of the building, and Taehyung suddenly remembers where he's at. He has no idea how much time has passed. He'd been so lost in Jeongguk's mouth that he had totally forgotten they're trapped in a tiny wooden cottage with no heat and no electricity in the middle of a blizzard.

And then he feels Jeongguk take him all in, in one fell swoop with his mouth, down to his throat and it's so hot, so tight, Taehyung loses his mind. Blizzard? What blizzard? 

He swallows around it. Does he even have a gag reflex? This is too unreal. Maybe Taehyung's the one sleep drunk. Maybe he's the one dreaming. Wake up, Taehyung.

No wait—don't.

If this is a dream he doesn't want it to end.

But as he feels himself coming closer to the edge, he knows it's not a dream because this is where it would usually end—always at the good part.

Taehyung squeezes Jeongguk's arm, signifying that's he close but Jeongguk's busy, working steady. Going hard, fast, moving his hand in a circle up and down and around, tongue swirling diligently as if he already knew. 

It makes Taehyung squirm, writhe, moan, he's in shambles as it builds, builds, builds. And Jeongguk works tirelessly until everything for Taehyung goes a little hazy, a little darker than it already is.

And then, with one final broken moan, a squeeze of Jeongguk's arm, Taehyung releases into his mouth—Jeongguk taking it all, moaning around him as he swallows it wholly.

He cleans up what he couldn't get by swirling and swiping his tongue around him and the sensation is overwhelming, making Taehyung's legs squirm, his body jolt. The overstimulation causes him to laugh and grip onto the sheets, Jeongguk giggling under the blanket in response.

Seconds later Jeongguk thoughtfully helps pull back up Taehyung's pajamas then snakes out from underneath the covers while Taehyung lays spent, mouth hung open as the darkness fades from his vision.

Once he's back to earth—firmly against ever wishing away the blizzard—he glances over at Jeongguk, who's now back at his side. 

Asleep.

He's asleep.

What the hell?

—><—

The following morning, Taehyung and Jeongguk awaken to the sun shining, birds chirping, and the townsfolk busy burying themselves out from their snow engulfed homes.

Mr. and Mrs. Min, who didn't need rescuing as they own a home built up on a taller foundation than the ones around them, help to free Taehyung and Jeongguk by clearing out a pathway in front of the door of their cottage.

As the power is still out in most of the town, the two find it in their youthful duty to go around assisting anyone else in need of escaping their entrapment.

They aren't the only ones; the whole town comes together, each doing what they can to help while electricians get busy restoring power and snow-plows begin their sweeps—Gil and Hyunwoo following behind in their coffee truck handing out free coffees to those who need warming up.

"It's really sweet of you two boys to help," Mrs. Min says, leaned up against her shovel, sweat on her brow despite the cold chill in the air. She may be smaller and older than most out in the streets right now, but she's fiercely at work.

"Of course," Jeongguk nods curtly with a smile. "We're happy to. Especially after all you've done for us."

Mr. Min and Taehyung, sat down on the sidewalk nearby, resting their arms and legs, groan in discomfort.

"It's that damned witch again," Mr. Min grumbles. "She's got something up her sleeve, I know it."

"Ignore him," Mrs. Min shakes her head. "He's paranoid."

"You don't believe me—you'll see!"

"There's no witch, husband!" She cries out, frustrated. "None causing any storms."

"How many a year do you get?" Taehyung asks.

"We don't." Mrs. Min answers as she gets back to shoveling the snow in front of a small house with three small children peeking out through the window, waving at Taehyung. Taehyung waves back. "But anytime there's a disaster, he blames the witch," she says with a roll of her eyes.

"Well, how else do you explain it?" Mr. Min asks. "We never get storms. Why now? Unless you two have something to do with it," he says, looking at Taehyung and Jeongguk.

"Ahjussi! Ahjussi!" A high-pitched scream comes echoing through the streets at that moment, startling everyone around. "Ahjussi! Halmeoni!"

It's the little girl who bullied Taehyung on the skating rink, running up towards them, long black hair flying through the wind. She has a white puffer jacket on over her pink pajamas and she's carrying a little pink bunny.

Tears are running down her face. She looks terrified.

"Duri?!" Mrs. Min cries out for her, arms reaching out, dropping the shovel by her side. "Duri, what's wrong!?" She asks when the little girl flies into her arms.

"It's mother!" She cries. "She's cold!"

Taehyung glances at Jeongguk, who's already looking at him with worry.

"I can't wake her up. She won't wake up, Halmeoni!" She shouts, gripping onto Mrs. Min's puffer jacket, shaking her. "You have to come help!"

"Okay, let's go." Mrs. Min takes Duri's hand. She sends a look to Mr. Min, who nods and pulls out his phone.

"Is there anything we can do?" Jeongguk asks and Taehyung stands up.

"Yes, come along," Mrs. Min says, sounding grim. "We may need all the help we can get."

—><—

By the time Taehyung and Jeongguk, a couple of other townspeople and paramedics, reach Duri's home, it's too late.

Her mother is gone.

"No—no, no, no, no!" Hana—the girl Taehyung bribed at the train station—comes running up to the house, just as the woman's lifeless body is being wheeled out on a stretcher. "Mother—" she whispers shakily.

"Unnie!" Duri cries out, running up to Hana, who is apparently her sister. She lifts her up and hugs her tightly, both sobbing into each other.

Taehyung turns into Jeongguk's shoulder, unable to handle the scene. It's hard enough thinking of this poor woman and her now orphaned children, but the thoughts of losing his own mother are crashing down on him—it's too much.

"You okay?" Jeongguk whispers. "Do we need to go?"

"No, I-I'm okay." Taehyung nods.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should give them privacy."

"O-oh. Yeah. Privacy. Yes, let's give them their space."

—><—

The day is quiet after that. The sun makes her descent behind the snow capped mountain, her rays shooting out wide and golden as if she's trying to send a last desperate attempt to send everyone beams of warmth and hope before she disappears and yet, Taehyung feels none of it.

He's stuck in darkness. A swirling watery vortex of emotions all mixed into one that ends up making him feel. . .nothing. It's static. Inside and all around him. Everything silent. Numb.

While Jeongguk quietly cooks dinner, Taehyung, completely apathetic to the idea of food, sits motionless on the bed, staring out at the window at the twilight overtaking the sky. 

He thinks of Duri and Hana, so young and now motherless. A position he was once in. Except, poor Hana, she has a little sister to look out for. Taehyung didn't have that. He only had himself.

He's not sure whether that was good or bad. Maybe he wouldn't have felt so lonely if someone had been by his side through it all. 

But he could never wish that pain on another soul. 

It's a pain unlike any other. A pain innocent children should never have to endure.

He wishes there was something he could do. A way to help them like he had been. 

Taehyung got lucky—having Jeongguk's father come into his life the way he did. If it weren't for his fatherly guidance along with his expertise in the field of law, who knows how or where Taehyung would've ended up. 

Wait—this gives him an idea. Maybe there is something he can do. 

"Jeonggukie," he says, perking up a little. "Let's find Hana and Duri. I think I know how to help them."

—><—

It only takes one phone call to Mrs. Min to find out that Hana and Duri are at their house across the street. With their permission, Taehyung and Jeongguk get dressed quickly and head right over.

"I just wondered if I could speak with Hana and Duri? I-if it's okay?" Taehyung asks softly, standing at the doorway, twisting his beanie in his hands. 

"Hana!" Mrs. Min calls out. "Come on in, boys. Duri's asleep, but Hana will be down in just a moment."

Hana appears around the corner at the top of the stairs. She looks like a mess, but otherwise okay.

"Who is it?"

"It's Taehyung and Jeongguk, from across the way," Mrs. Min answers.

"I don't know them."

"Just come down, please."

Hana sighs, then trudges down the stairs.

"Good luck," Mrs. Min whispers with her eyebrows raised before walking away, leaving Taehyung and Jeongguk at the bottom of the stairwell where Hana now stands. 

"Oh, right, it's you guys," Hana says, apparently recognizing them. "What do you want?"

"Um—well—y-you see. . ." Taehyung stutters, looking down at his hat, a twisted mess between his hands. "We just came by to give our condolences and-and to say that. . .um, I lost my mother, too. A long time ago," he says and Hana stares at him with zero emotion in her face. Without a response from her, he continues.

"And-and well, I know what it's like to be young and not have—ahem—you see, my mother died from the hospital. They—they were at fault and—" Hana crosses her arms.

Taehyung glances over at Jeongguk when he feels his hand touch his back. Something in his eyes gives him reassurance that he should keep going. But in Hana's eyes, lies something that reminds him of where he once stood. 

And that's when Taehyung realizes how this is likely going to go. 

His shoulders drop and he lets out a resigned sigh. 

"Look, Hana, I know this sucks," he says then, tone heavy. "I know this is the worst fucking day of your life. And I know the last thing you need is me here barging in on your grief," he continues and Hana's eyes start to blink rapidly as if tears are stinging her eyes. "But I want to help you and Duri."

"Help us?" She laughs humorlessly. "How could you possibly do that?"

"I'll be straight with you. The hospital. My mother's death was on their hands. Thanks to Jeongguk's father, I received a huge settlement from them and I have a lot of money," Taehyung lets out quickly and Hana's eyebrows raise. "What I'm trying to say is, I can help you financially."

Hana scoffs. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No, I'm not."

With a frown marring her young face, Hana's eyebrows come together. "Why would you do that?"

"Because, like I said, I know what it's like—"

"But you don't even know me—or my sister."

"I don't need to."

"What do you want?"

"What?" Taehyung asks, confused.

"These things always come with a price—what do you want?"

"No, you misunderstand, Hana. I don't want anything—"

"People always want something."

"I don't."

Hana pauses, seemingly mulling it over. And then, "no."

"Think of your sister, Hana. I could give you enough to go to school."

"I don't need your help."

"Of course you don't. But with the money,  you wouldn't have to worry. You could get a good job. You could raise her in a nice place."

"I said I don't need your help!" Hana snaps furiously and Taehyung winces.

"Hey," Jeongguk steps forward a little. "You don't have to be rude. He's just trying to help."

"And I don't want his help, so just get out of here—both of you!" She cries out, running up the steps before slamming her bedroom door shut, making both Taehyung and Jeongguk jump.

Taehyung sighs, arms sagging with defeat. His heart is aching. He feels foolish.

"Was it wrong of me?" Taehyung asks, voice breaking. He's grieving, for them. "I just wanted to help."

"Hey, no. Look, it's okay, Taehyung. You're a kind person who doesn't want to see people suffer needlessly. You tried. That's what matters," Jeongguk says, turning to embrace him in a hug.

"But she said no. What do I do?"

"We'll think of something. Let's just go for now—maybe she'll come around after some time."

They turn to turn and leave, but something stops them. A a small voice coming from somewhere behind them.

"Ahjussi?"

Taehyung turns. It's Duri. She's standing at the top of the stairs - wearing purple pajamas this time - holding tightly to her pink bunny.

Taehyung waves and smiles warmly up at her.

"What are you doing here, Ahjussi?" She asks with her tiny sleepy voice as she carefully descends, step-by-step, holding onto the railing as she goes.

"I came to see you," Taehyung answers, trying to put forth a happy face. "I wanted to check in on you. How are you?"

Duri stops when she's three steps from the bottom. She lifts one of her feet in the air to present her blue painted toes to Taehyung and Jeongguk. "Hana painted my toes."

"Oh, they're very pretty. Aren't they, Jeonggukie?"

"Very pretty," Jeongguk smiles and nods.

Duri smiles back and giggles. "Ahjussi, you don't live here, do you?" she asks next. 

Taehyung shakes his head. "No, we live in Seoul."

"Is it far from here?"

"A little bit."

"Will you come back to see us soon?"

Taehyung glances at Jeongguk, who smiles and nods.

"Yes, I think we will."

Duri's face lights up. She extends her pinky out towards Taehyung. "Promise?"

Taehyung takes it with his. "Promise."

"Duri? Are you awake?" Mrs. Min's voice calls from around the way and Duri's eyes go large. 

"Uh-oh."

"You better run along now, Duri," Taehyung whispers. 

"Don't tell her I was here!" Duri whispers back, and Taehyung and Jeongguk nod. 

They watch as she runs up the stairs a couple of steps, stop, then come back down quickly. 

"Duri, what are you—oompf—" Taehyung lets out when he's suddenly slammed into with a squeezing hug from Duri. She beckons Jeongguk over with her tiny hand and when he comes in, she curls an arm around his neck as well. 

"We'll be okay," she whispers and Taehyung can feel the tears break from his eyes, his heart become stabbed with a thousand tiny daggers of pain, relief, joy, pride—so many emotions he can barely contain himself. 

She pulls back and Taehyung doesn't want to let her go, watches her run back up the stairs with an ache in his heart. 

She'll be okay, he tells himself. 

She'll be okay. 

—><—

"You saw what!?"

"Yup. That night, after we fought in the hallway—and you said some very not nice things to me—"

"Which I'm very sorry about."

"—I couldn't sleep very well and got up to get some water and that's when I saw them," Jeongguk explains and Taehyung scoffs, jaw jutting out forward. 

"So you're telling me, you saw Yoongi—Min Yoongi—and Jimin—Park Jimin—making out in the kitchen?" 

Jeongguk nods quickly. 

"And you're being serious—this isn't a joke?"

"Serious."

In absolute silence Taehyung sits on the bed, legs crossed underneath him across from Jeongguk. He's confused, to the say the least, and in shock. He can't speak, can only mutter unintelligible sounds.

"You don't look too happy—for some reason I thought this would make you laugh or-or something," Jeongguk utters nervously, running a hand through his hair. He chews at his lower lip as he stares at Taehyung hesitantly. 

He just. . . can't believe it. His own soul mate BFF is hooking up with the one person he swore was the last person on earth he'd ever even entertain the idea of hooking up with?! And he didn't even tell him!? 

"I-I-I-I. . ." Taehyung stammers. "He-he didn't even tell me," he whispers. And it hurts a little too much to say it. 

"Well, I don't know if it's going to make you feel better or not, but I feel like I should mention that you haven't told him about us, either."

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows at Jeongguk. "Because you won't let me." The statement comes out icier than he intends. 

Calm down, Taehyung. 

Jeongguk blinks rapidly a few times. Lips pulled inward, he nods. "You're right. But it's for good reason."

"And what reason is that, Jeongguk?" 

Jeongguk stares at Taehyung, as if he were surprised or taken aback by his question. "My dad."

"Your dad? What's he have to do with this?"

"You know how he is with me dating, Taehyung. And I can't imagine how he'll feel about me being—you know," Jeongguk lets out defensively. 

Taehyung doesn't know what to say. 

He's right. His father is opposed to him dating. He doesn't want him doing anything other than what he tells him to do. He doesn't trust him to do otherwise. 

And Taehyung feels bad about that, and about him likely not accepting Jeongguk for being who he is sexually, but that doesn't stop the acid from boiling in Taehyung's stomach over the fact that it forces him to lie to the people he loves and cares for most. People like his friends, Jimin, and even Jeongguk's father.

"I don't like lying, Jeongguk—"

"I know, Taehyung, I know," Jeongguk whispers sorrowfully, looking down at the space between them. "I don't like it, either."

"I don't understand, why can't we tell our friends at least? We can trust them."

Jeongguk shakes his head, eyes wide.

"It's too risky. With Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok working as clients for my father, it could slip up. And you know Jimin isn't great with secrets. And if he's hooking up with Yoongi now. . ."

"That means I can't tell him, either," Taehyung sighs and Jeongguk nods. 

After a brief moment of silence, Jeongguk speaks. "You know what I don't understand, is why."

"Why what?"

"Why Jimin's hiding it."

Taehyung ponders this. He can't fathom what would cause him to feel the need to hide his hooking up with Yoongi from Taehyung, but it's causing his heart to sink to the pit of his stomach. It hurts him to think the promise they once made to each other is being broken, that they've both resorted to having to keep secrets from one another. 

Is something wrong with their friendship? Has Taehyung done something wrong? 

"I'm really sorry, I thought we would laugh about this. Like this would cheer you up," Jeongguk chuckles humorlessly. 

"Thanks for trying," Taehyung says sincerely, reaching out for Jeongguk's hand, taking it in his.

"To tell you the truth, it feels really good to finally get it out," Jeongguk admits with a smirk. "It was killing me."

Taehyung attempts a smile, though it's fleeting. 

"Is there anything I can do?" Jeongguk asks then, and Taehyung's heart crumples like a wad of paper. He wishes he could throw in the bin across the room. 

"Just. . . can you tell me, how long? How long will we have to do this?"

Jeongguk stares into Taehyung's eyes. The expression on his face appears to be reassuring, but there's a glint of something less so in his eyes that steals away from it. 

"Not long. I'll figure it out," Jeongguk answers, and leaves a chaste kiss to the back of Taehyung's hand. "I promise."

Looking back at that face, the one he knows he can trust most, Taehyung's heart unravels. "We'll figure it out," he smiles. "Together."