***Tanya in M/M ****
Also, y'all gon leave my Amber alone lol. She don't know what August has in-stored for her. She's just going off of what she feels. lol. Y'all went straight for her jugglar. Calm down Alsina Honeys lol.
AMBER P.O.V. –
I was drained after everything that happened last night. I had intended to go to church, but I couldn’t even muster the strength to get out of bed.
Instead, I slept in till about 1pm. And woke up and caught Bishop T.D. Jakes on The Word Network.
After the sermon went off, I took a shower then went downstairs to cook me something to eat. I opted for something simple - tacos.
As I started cooking, I heard my front door open. Of course it was none other than…
“Babe.” He called out. “Baby, where you at?”
I rolled my eyes and just kept cooking.
“I was calling you baby.” He said as he walked in the kitchen.
I just put the taco shells in the oven and went to stirring the meat on the stove.
He came behind me putting his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.
“We having tacos for dinner?”
“I am.” I removed myself from his grasp.
“What you mean you are?”
“I’m cooking for me. I don’t know what you’re gonna eat.”
“You being petty right now.”
I ignored him and turned the heat down on the stove.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call nobody yesterday. If anything you should be happy a nigga aight.”
“Don’t tell me how the fuck I should feel.” I snapped.
“You trippin’, and I ain’t got time for this shit.” He said about to leave.
“Yes, please leave.” I pointed towards the door.
He turned toward me, “You upset because I ain’t tell you why I’m working extra hours? I’m a grown ass man. I don’t have to report to you my every fucking move.”
“You right. And with that you can go.” I put the ingredients on the counter back in my fridge.
He took off his snap-back and scratched his head. “Amber, you testing my patience. I’m really trying, but you gon make me go there.”
“I’m not scared of you August. Say what you have to say, do what you have to do. Just do it on the otherside of my door.”
I saw him bite his lip and restrain his hands. He was about to grab his key to my house, but I took it.
“You taking your key back from me now?”
He looked at me.
“Yes. If you can’t be honest with me, you don’t deserve to just walk up in my house. I don’t know why you’re working late. Somebody could be after you for all I know.”
“So basically you saying, you don’t trust me?”
“No I don’t. You say you’re not behind on bills.”
“Which I already told your ass, I’m not.”
“Okay what could be so important to you, that you out here looking like a zombie from the walking dead?”
He stared at me for a minute, like he was debating telling me what was on his mind. But he opted not to, and just looked down.
“Here I am trying to be a good girlfriend by caring enough for you, to not want to see you end up in the hospital from exhaustion. And you don’t even care. Why? Because you want to be “the man.” I heavily empathized the man, by moving my hand up and down pointing to him.
“Fine. If you want to kill yourself overworking, because it makes you feel like a man. Then be a man August. Be a fucking man.” I slammed a glass cup I had in the sink, causing it to break into little pieces.
“All the shit we been through, and a nigga that disposable to you?”
“You told me when the rent thing happened you wouldn’t keep anything else like that from me.”
“And I haven’t. I’m not behind on any bills I keep telling you that. Why is it so important for you to know?
“Look at your eyes August. You think I wanna look at you like that? And you told me you worked five days. I see you come in twice some days. And you worked on a freaking Saturday! From morning to night Cha told me. That’s six days this week. I don’t even work that much. Those are sweat shop hours on top of you going to school. Who wants to sit on the sidelines and see somebody who they love to fucking pieces suffer? Why won’t you let me help you?”
“You can’t help me with this. This is something I gotta do. On my own. Can’t you respect that?”
“No I can’t. I hope it’s worth it. Because whatever it is, it seems like its more important to you than me.”
“You know what, I’mma just go. Cause this bout to turn into shit I don’t want it to.”
“Yeah, do us both that favor.”
He stormed out and slammed the door.
I had court all week so I didn’t see August at all, nor did he attempt to call me or even shoot me a text. And if he couldn’t think enough of me to do that, neither was I.
But I have to admit, I missed him so bad. Every time I tried to forget him, things seemed to pop up in my house that reminded me of him. I didn’t notice how much of his things had actually accumulated in my house.
His razors and shaving cream were on my sink. His Nivea For Men, Cool Body Wash was on the side of my tub.
He took it upon himself to declare one of my drawers his, and it had some of his clothes and clean boxer-briefs. He had a couple of pair of shoes, lined along the wall next to my heels in the closet.
On the top of my refrigerator was the Peach Ciroc he liked to drink. He had a few school books on my kitchen table where he did his homework. And lord knows I wanted to hear his voice and feel his touch.
I was starting to think maybe I over-reacted. But I quickly shook that off. He was hiding something major, and it couldn’t be anything good. I’d come to the conclusion that he owed somebody money, and he had to pay it back. But owed money for what and to whom, was the question.
“Maybe it’s for drugs?” Tanya sat across from me in my Pavilion drinking her Mimosa I made. After work Tanya met me at my house and we just had a girl’s chill day.
“He doesn’t do drugs Tanya. He smokes weed from time to time but that’s it.” I put my feet up on a foot-rest.
“You don’t know what he has going on in his personal life. Didn’t you say he used to sell them?”
“He was a teenager.” I said annoyed.
“That wasn’t that long ago.”
I mugged her.
“What? I’m just saying.”
“I don’t think its drugs.”
“Maybe he’s a gambler.”
“I’ve never seen him go to casino’s and stuff.”
“Amber, he could say he’s at school. And be at the casino. Hell, he could be playing online blackjack. Got people taking bets.”
“I don’t think its that.”
“Maybe he really does have a kid and just made it a joke with you to cover it up.”
“I don’t think he would do that. I mean, I think he would just tell me if that wasvit.”
“How did you react when he told you though?”
“I was upset.”
“Exactly. He was probably testing your reaction to see if he should tell you or not.”
“I just don’t get it. It can’t be worse than what he’s told me before. “
“What you mean?”
“We just talked about some stuff in his past and he was completely honest. He knows I’m not judgmental.”
“Men and their pride girl. They’ll die before they let you see them break.”
“I don’t try to emasculate him. I just want him to know that I care. What type of girlfriend would I be if I saw him suffering and was just was like, “oh let him suffer. He’s a man.” In a relationship that stuff shouldn’t matter. It should just be about the partnership. Not this whole man vs. woman dynamic. And what good is an anchor if you’re not gonna use it?”
“Anchor? I’m lost.” She took another sip.
“He calls me his anchor.”
“Girl, if I was you, I wouldn’t stress about it. He is not your burden.”
I sighed. “I want to call him so bad, but I’m always the one after an argument, catering to his feelings. I’m not doing it this time. If he really loved me, he would call me and just tell me.”
“It’s been a week.”
“Five days.”
“Amber, please. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. He hasn’t called. Which means he’s not stressing about it, and neither should you. Let’s think about something happy. Your birthday is right around the corner. What are your plans?”
“I wanted to spend it with him but he has made zero effort to make plans. He hasn’t even mentioned it.”
“You don’t need him to have a great birthday. Remember before him, it was me and you. And we had a hell of a lot of fun.”
“We did.” I laughed reminiscing.
“I’m thinking we go to Yayo. We leave on your birthday Wednesday, and come back that Saturday or Sunday.”
“Oh I haven’t been to Miami in a while.”
“You know I know the spots. We go down there, chill. Forget this August character.”
“Yeah, I think I need that.”
“So if that’s the plan, I’ll get everything set up.”
“Here’s to Yayo and the fine men we’ll see.” She held up her drink to me.
“I’m not toasting to that. I want my Auggie.” I playfully pouted.
“You know Idris Elba down there filming a movie. And you know you love Idris Elba. So to stalking Idris.”
“To stalking Idris.” I laughed as we toasted, then took a sip of our Mimosas.