✖️The Worst Kind of Wonderful✖️
"People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
-Elizabeth Kuber-Ross
Chapter Nineteen~
"Xander, what the hell happened?" I collapsed to the floor where he was slumped, eyelids pressed together and wrinkling like fabric.
"I don't know," he breathed, his voice soft though he sounded annoyed at his own lack of knowledge. "The other hunters... They know something, some of the Greyson cousins cornered me and tried to attack, I fought back but didn't want to kill another of..." He coughed, clutching the left side side of his torso which had been slashed with a blade of some sort and was now releasing fine streams of burgundy. A light went off in my head: Greyson, that was the family my attacker in the woods belonged to. Trying to ease my racing thoughts I focused on Alexander. Up close I could see his bruised jaw and the grazes on his knuckles from fighting. Green eyes were lined pink from exhaustion and his hair held pieces of grass and dead leaves from his journey.
"Wait here, one second," I ordered throwing a shirt, that had hung over my bedroom door, his way. "Put pressure on that cut." My thoughts were everywhere, the typically slow moving life that I had come to know had found it's way onto a roller coaster ride that wouldn't stop.
Picking up my phone I searched through my contacts wondering who could help me in this kind of situation. After a moment of hesitation I hit the call button and let it ring. A trilling sound echoed in my ears, seconds felt like hours but finally, "hello?"
"Hey Hannah? I need your help."
"Yeah sure, what's up?" Her voice was honey, always just a little bit too sweet for my comfort but genuine none the less.
"Can you come over?"
"Now? Why?"
"I can't exactly say over the phone," I ran a hand through knotted hair and leaned against the doorframe.
"Are you okay Mia?" She sounded concerned and I knew she would tell someone if I didn't feed her some kind of a story.
"An old friend, a human, got into a fight with some guys in the woods and he's injured. I need your expertise to help heal him without letting anyone know I let a human onto our land without permission." I was half lying but somehow I wasn't phased, I needed Hannah's help and couldn't risk anything.
"I'll be right over, let me just get my things together."
"Okay, and Hannah?"
"Yeah?"
"Please don't tell anyone," I hammered the seriousness of the situation into her head.
"I won't Mia, I promise."
"Thank you," and that was that.
Without skipping a beat I hit the "end call" button and made my way back into my bedroom. He was something to look at even in that state but I tried to ignore that fact, which was made more difficult with my wolf's calling: her voice a mix of sadness and longing. Most of my more romantic feelings, had been hushed to avoid conflict at such a serious time but they still lingered. "Let me help you. You shouldn't be sitting like that, you should lay down."
"I'm fine." He protested, but the way his body was contorted against where my bedroom floor and wall met couldn't have been healthy.
"Please, let me help," I pleaded with him letting confusion and desperation seep into my words.
After a nod of reluctant approval from him, I approached. With my hands gripping his wrists and him mine we maneuvered him onto my bed, his chestnut hair ruffling against the pillow. There were so many questions sitting on my tongue just dying to jump out but I knew that until he was better there was nothing I could do.
I regretted not learning more about first aid in that terrible silence, just looking at the beaten bloody form of my mate. I searched for answers and understanding, pacing the floor in a straight line back and forth. The dream: it suddenly came to me. Was my dream of running through the woods from a band of arrow wielding men the actual experience of Xander? Was that possible? I continued to swallow my thoughts.
"My friend Hannah is coming over to help, she's a nurse, she should be able to help." I explained, "but she thinks you're a human."
"That's risky." He pointed out, opening his eyes.
"This kind of situation requires risk." I retorted, settling onto the end of my bed, knees against my chest.
"What will they do if they find I'm here without permission?" He asked as if it wasn't the huge deal that it was.
"They'd imprison me and send you away." Suddenly he was up, sitting too suddenly and wincing at the sting I'm sure it brought his wound.
"What the hell are you thinking?" He was angry now, the nonchalance he exhibited earlier vanishing in the blink of an eye. "Can you trust this friend of yours not to tell?"
"I don't know Xander I-"
"Damn it Mia! I shouldn't have come here."
"Where else would you have gone?" I asked in disbelief. "I can help, we can figure this out!"
With all her impeccable timing that's when Hannah arrived, barging in with eyes wide holding a brief case that I assumed worked as some kind of first aid kit. "Mia!" She called my name as a greeting.
"Hannah, I acknowledged, standing from the bed.
"Hey, I got here as quickly as I could, Doctor Alvi wanted me to work an extra shift so it was kind of a delay."
"What'd you tell her," I felt the ache of nervousness build in my chest.
"I said I needed to get home and that one of the other nurses would be just as capable of handling whatever she needed them for," she explained, eyes lifting to Xander she continued. "I'm Hannah, I'm a nurse in this... neighborhood. You must be the friend Mia spoke about over the phone."
"Alexander," he informed her, the two of them sharing a look I didn't feel comfortable with.
"Let me take a look at that," she gestured toward the gash in his side before slipping latex gloves over petite fingers. He lifted his shirt up over his head, discarding the blood soaked article on my floor. I averted my eyes to keep my wolf in check but could hear the barely audible gasp of awe Hannah took in that I was certain, after all she had seen, wasn't because of his wound.
I felt disconnected, like a fly on the wall. A very anxious, very agitated fly. I observed her kit, gauze, thread, antiseptic, all of the usual suspects were there but I wondered if it was enough. "Will he require stitches?" I couldn't help it, I had to break the tension of her watching him like a vulture over prey while I stood on the sidelines.
"I-" she began.
"Do you have all of the medical supplies you need?" Something in me needed her to not look at him and every word I let out was another moment in time when her attention was diverted.
"Yeah I'll be-"
"Did you tell anyone where you were going when you came here?" I continued.
"No, of course not."
"I mean, are you okay to handle this? Should I have called Doctor Alvi?"
"Mia, it's really-"
"I can call her if you need help."
"I'm fine Mia!" She finally let out in frustration. "B-but I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room." She sounded annoyed for the first time in as long as I could remember.
"Hannah I-"
"Mia." Xander soothed. I was every kind of frustrated but at his unspoken request I left, leaving the door open behind me.
My wolf was to blame for that scene, I was sure of it. Something that resembled jealousy was poisoning me. It flowed through my head and in my veins, sucking up control and reason out of me like a sponge. Hannah already fell for Zak, and now she was eyeing my mate. Was it a personal attack or did we just have similar taste? I wondered if I was the only one in this kind of situation. I wondered if I was the only one who had a friend who went after every guy an interest in had ever been shown. This was my way of trying to make myself feel less alone as I paced the halls, eyeing the window for any surprise visitors that could put us all in danger.
Annabelle found her way into my thoughts and I almost wondered why I hadn't called her instead of Hannah but remembered the incident with Benjamin Hartley and realized my trust in her wavered. She told me not to go back and visit Benjamin but something in my soul knew that not freeing him was a white flag raised. The big picture was made up of the people in it and if I wanted things to go my way they had to be in their proper place, Ben's was not behind bars. Annabelle's ability to see the big picture, however, was wavering.
Behind me a soft laugh rang out, a laugh full of warmth and femininity. I peered through the doorframe and into my bedroom, careful to not disturb them. The scene I found reminded me of a white rimmed Polaroid photograph. Hannah sat on the clean pressed sheets of the end of my bed observing my mate, hair glowing at the edges like a fiery crimson halo to caress her head. Xander acknowledged her beauty passively, letting it be and observing it without desire to obtain or subdue it. I, however, found myself unable to mirror his indifference but held my ground, still and steadily aware. Distancing myself from envy like removing a poisoned blade from my own gut.
"So where are you from?" Hannah inquired.
"Not too far, originally from the Boston area, Massachusetts, though. I lived there with my mother."
"You don't have the accent," she smiled, tucking a flyaway behind her ear like she always did when she was nervous. "So you moved with her to Maine then? Or do you attend a University?" Hannah was a very pleasant person. The way she carried herself, head high shoulders soft, was very pleasant. The way she spoke, slowly softly and with intention but without intimidation, was very pleasant. The way she listened, head bobbing in understanding with lips pressed, hands folded delicately, was very pleasant. Yet somehow, I was displeased.
"She passed when I was nine." He revealed.
Hannah's hand reached out to touch his but her body language whispered like a silent song meant to assure that she didn't mean it as an advance but as a genuine way of comforting him. I wished that I could step in on their precious fragment of time and provide my own comfort but I felt as though I were an intruder, a thief come to steal the beauty of their moment away. I didn't want to take anything good from Xander.
"I'm so sorry," she let the words fall into place gently.
"It's not your fault." He brushed it off, beginning to put up a wall.
"I don't mean sorry in that way." She explained, straightening her spine and holding his hand more securely. "I'm sorry for the world that things like this happen. I'm sorry that such an amazing person like you had to suffer loss at such a tender age."
"Thank you, Hannah." He let the ghost of a smile play at his lips.
"Thank you, Alexander." They shared a look of understanding before she continued, "so you live with your father then?"
"That's why I made the move up here actually."
"And do you like it here? Do you enjoy your time with your father?" I wondered if she was pushing the questioning too far, and even more if he'd push her away at her interviewing.
"There are good days and bad," he sighed giving her a half hearted smile. "But he's my family, my friends here are like my brothers but..." He trailed off.
"Hm?" She gave the cue for him to continue.
"I might want to leave them all behind, might have to even."
"Why is that?" Hannah asked, confusion lacing her every syllable.
"There's this girl..." He let that whisper of a smile return and bloom.
"A girl, huh?" Hannah turned slightly, revealing to me, without intent, a whimsical expression.
"A girl who might mean more to me than all the days and nights I've spent without her."
"This girl," she began,"is she kind?"
"From what I've observed."
"Is she beautiful?"
"Very."
"Is she intelligent?"
"More than most or any people I've met from what I gather."
"True? Graceful? Just? Mild?"
"Mild? Well I don't about that." He let out a playful laugh eyes becoming distant. "She's brave, a fighter really. But since I've known her her life has been in chaos so I don't know who she is." I took a second to try and find the air that had so seamlessly drained from my lungs. This wasn't the calculated, on-edge Alexander I had come to know. This must have been Xander, my true Xander without the walls of his title as hunter.
"You don't?"
"No, but I'd like to."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm going to sound like a stalker." He admitted to nervousness, crossing his arms in defense unwittingly revealing rather impressive biceps. He was a thing to behold and the way he spoke left me feeling lightheaded.
"I won't judge you too hard." Hannah played it lightly and I thought her wise for the way she behaved with him. I had to take pointers instead of dancing between a girl with a crush and a member loyal to her pack.
"I've tried to gather information about her discretely. I followed her a few times, not invading her space of course but just watched what she found interesting and listened to how she spoke to people."
"Those are the symptoms of stalking." Hannah laughed. "You've got it bad."
"I guess I do."
"And?" She asked inexplicably.
"And what?"
"What did you learn and what are you going to do about it?" She explained, radiating acceptance and true (now platonic) affection for him.
"I learned that she has a thing for tea, she loves her friends and family to a fault, she possesses a disconcerting fascination with fire," they laughed together at this. "She bites her lip when she's making a choice, her hair is typically in this beautiful state of chaos, she has a wildness in her without meaning to be but hardly ever does anything without thinking it through, she's determined, her favorite movie is The Breakfast Club." I remembered the three separate copies I had in my room and the basket case bracelet on my book shelf and blushed. "She doesn't like not being in control, she gives her trust sparingly, she doesn't give up a fight..." He trailed off. "And she's a good eavesdropper." I practically choked on my own spit at that. Trying to keep Hannah out off the loop I made a bee line down the hall.
How did he gather so much about me? Was it possible that he knew so many of my most inconspicuous mannerisms and I'd yet to learn his middle name, his lucky number, his father and late mother's names, if he had any siblings... The list dragged on endlessly of the things I didn't know. I heard muffled chatting down the hall for a few moments before Hannah's voice was made clear.
"Mia! Your friend is all set." She let me know, peeking her head around the doorframe and looking at me with a meek smile on her face.
"Thank you so much Hannah." My genuineness seemed to surprise her but she nodded and made her way down the stairs past me. I waited until I heard the faint slamming of my front door before approaching my room. I had learned so much that I wasn't expecting by listening to Xander and Hannah speak. They got along so seamlessly that, taking our relationships and placing them in comparison, I wondered if my mate bond could possibly be what it was. Still that tug in my gut told me it was there. I felt the same flurry of emotions: a fire that, with every step toward Xander taken, breathed a new breath and grew until it roared tremendously.
There was an indescribable want. Of that there was no denying. I could see it in his eyes and in the way he rose so cautiously aware of his own need, so dangerously close to throwing that caution. His shirt had been removed for Hannah to assess the wound and a bandage clung to his side, clean and neatly taped in place. I tried to focus on that rectangular piece of gauze but my eyes so desperately wished to wander so I closed them until the darkness beneath my lids soothed me. When I finally opened them I found his eyes and with them the air to speak. "Xander." I breathed.
He took this as permission to close the space between us and wrap long sturdy arms around me in an all consuming embrace. Every part of me was soaring and my wolf thrashed within. "Mia." He responded his head resting on the thrown of my untamed curls. Breaking out of my surprise I wrapped my arms around his back feeling the way he tensed as I did. I held him the way someone lost in the desert holds to a mirage and let those birds fly in my head, let the buzz of bees and butterflies kiss and sting my stomach, let myself go in the heady scent of campfire smoke and peppermint that lived in his skin. I was living again. I was living again now that I held him. But life is fleeting.
Realizing we had far too much to talk about to let time fall away, I let him go, reluctantly. "We need to talk." I informed him.
"About?" He asked, staring at me in a way no one had ever really looked at me before. Sure, I'd seen something vaguely similar echo in the halls of Zak's gentle orbs, but it was a dull whisper compared to the scream of Xander's soul as it called to mine.
"Everything." And that's how we began.
❂