jaded; spam

Oleh idolizeher

253 21 19

a spam filled with my feelings, memes, and rants. →lowercase intended →trigger warning (anxiety & depression) Lebih Banyak

❁ i missed your call again
❁ it really made me feel like shit
❁ you say there's reasons for believing
❁ this is worth the risk
❁ you keep complaining
❁ that i'm never checking up on you
❁ like squares to circles
❁ i am certain
❁ i want to breathe
❁ you want to bleed
❁ i want to love you
❁ and i wish i could be
❁ everything you're needing
❁ i wish i could find
❁ all the things
❁ you're seeking
❁ i wish i could say
❁ what you need to hear
❁ but i'll never be
❁ never see
❁ everything you're needing

❁ we can't make it through

8 1 0
Oleh idolizeher

y'all i had a weird dream about tyler and josh last night. so grab some tea and get ready to sip on this mess.

so basically they were having a small concert on the baseball fields near my house. so i walked down there and i was standing near the back of the crowd because i got there kind of late.

swmrs was opening for them but they only played "berkeley's on fire" (??) that doesn't matter though because they killed it.

so after that tyler and josh came on stage in their new trench outfits looking like snacks. the first song they played was nico and the niners. once the song started, some of my friends found me in the crowd and they started bopping out to the song. they were just dancing and jumping around like you do at a concert. but apparently tyler didn't want people doing that so he stopped the song and called out my friends. he was just yelling at them to either chill out or leave because "we don't do that here".

it was just really weird and i found it kind of rude so i decided to yell "is anyone recording this?". i wanted it on the record that we was kind of being a butthole. then tyler got really mad and defensive so he pulled me on stage.

now this next part needs some explaining. next to the baseball fields there is a cemetery. so tyler and josh decided to take me back stage and walked me over to the cemetery. josh had the tricycle thing from the stressed out music video and he just started destroying the gravestones. i tried to yell at him to stop but tyler wouldn't let me. he covered my mouth and held me in place to make me watch. obviously what he was doing was disrespectful but to make it worse, my mother is buried there.

it was so fucked up and i thought it was real when i woke up. it took me a solid twenty minutes to realize it was a dream.

if anyone can analyze dreams,
can you tell me what this means?

8.24.18

spread love,
—b

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