She watched him as he walked away.
She felt herself being shaken, a voice somewhere far away calling her name repeatedly. A blurry face appeared in front of her. She couldn't see clearly because of the tears swimming in her dulling eyes. They refused to leave. They only kept coming and coming, and she couldn't stop them. She couldn't let out the sobs and cries that were trapped in her stomach, squeezing her racing heart and suffocating her completely. It felt as though she was drowning. Her lungs rejected the air she shakily inhaled, and she couldn't breathe. A strong gust of wind suddenly blew, making her already trembling self shiver even more. But she made no move to wrap her arms around herself for warmth. She made no move to do anything. Her body was numb, and she felt empty.
Why did it hurt so much?
Her legs gave out.
He caught her in time.
Lihua weakly looked up, blinking slowly. She saw familiar features, but it all still blurry. "Y-Your.. Majesty..?" She whispered, her voice barely audible. Then it cleared up, and she realized it was the prince, not the emperor. The brothers looked a lot alike, and if your eyesight wasn't good, you would most likely get very confused about who is who. Although they had similarities in the outer appearance, and both were incredibly handsome, their personalities were completely, utterly different. They were opposites.
The prince was a gentleman; kind, caring, and thoughtful.
The emperor was a monster; cruel, heartless, and inconsiderate of others' feelings.
Lihua was already torn between the two. Her feelings and emotions were all mixed up. She hated the emperor, yes, but at the same time, she couldn't help but remember the other night. When she saw his vulnerable, weak side. When she saw him cry. Maybe, just maybe, all that coldness and evil of his was just an act? Maybe he was just lonely. Nobody is born evil. Something must have happened to him to have made him this way. Half of her felt sorry for him and wanted to help him, but the other half kept reminding her that he deserved it.
And then there was the prince.
Prince Daeshim was her childhood friend who would do anything for her. He left without saying goodbye because he wanted to protect her from the late king. He's been nothing but nice to her ever since he came to the palace. He was like her older brother, and she loved and cared for him very much. To her, he was family, and she felt relieved he was here with her. She'd quickly gotten tired of being surrounded by strangers in the palace, and seeing a familiar face around here made her feel a little better. It made her feel safe.
She never felt safe with the emperor.
She never felt relieved or comfortable with the emperor.
But..
What if she was able to change him? She could, if she tried, right?
"Worthless, useless whore.."
Right?
"You think you're so special because you had my attention for a short while?"
"Lihua.." Prince Daeshim said softly, worry and concern written all over his face. "Lihua, look at me."
She couldn't.
"Look at me, please.."
Her face was tilted away. She knew that if she looked at him, she would see the emperor. His murderous glower, his poisonous lips, the ones that made her shudder. That evil smirk playing on his lips every time he knew he'd hurt her. She could easily imagine him torturing and killing people, blood decorating his skin, that familiar sadistic gleam in his eyes.
Now, she was the one being tormented with the emperor's image in her mind.
Just not in the same way he was tormented.
Lihua was genuinely afraid of him.
The prince had placed her arm around his neck so she could stand. He wanted to carry her properly, but he couldn't because they were in public. He was a married man, and unwanted rumors would spread if people saw him carrying her bridal style. He was a little hurt she wouldn't look at him, but he didn't want to force her so he let it go.
"My lady!" He heard a woman yell. He looked up and saw an important-looking court lady running towards them. She slowed to a stop and bowed, "your highness, I am Court Lady Eun Soo. What happened? Is she well? Please, allow me to take her to her bedchamber so she may rest.."
"It's alright. I can—"
"You're not allowed in the women's section.. the only man allowed there is the emperor.." said Lihua, her voice soft.
"Oh.. I-I apologize, I did not know.." Prince Daeshim mumbled, his cheeks heating up.
"It's really okay, your highness. Please, do not feel the need to apologize to a lowly person such as I." said Eun Soo, still bowing. "I will take Lady Wu to her chamber. Please, do not trouble yourself.."
"I'll go there myself, thank you, both of you." Lihua sighed, gently pulling her arm away and trying to stand straight.
"My lady—"
But the girl was already walking away. She was getting sick and tired of this stupid palace, and she's only been here for a week. She missed her family. She wanted to see them so badly. She missed her old life. She missed the village. She missed her freedom. Hell, she even missed her aunt's strictness and scoldings. She missed everything.
Thinking about her grandfather and her aunt made her want to cry.
She just wanted to go home.
With her arms wrapped around herself, she walked, the cold wind nipping at her exposed skin.
Home.
Her feet stumbled, her steps slowing.
Home.
Her limbs weakened, her vision turning blurry.
Home..
She collapsed.
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