A/N: This was requested by Selene_Irium
I hope you enjoy! I'm sorry if this isn't exactly what you wanted, I sort of got carried away, hehe... (I'M SO GLAD TO HAVE ANOTHER KARREN FAN HERE THOUGH URGH)
Also I don't know if Matsumae called Karren by her actual name when they were in private because she knew about her situation and all, so out of respect for my baby, FEMALE PRONOUNS ALL THE MCFNUCKING WAY.
And ah yes, angsty confrontation. How I love it.
Your eyes fluttered open and you automatically frowned when you felt the coldness of the bed sheets wrapped around you. She had gone to work extremely early again...
You lifted yourself from the bed, trying to ignore the worry building up inside you and carried yourself to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. It was getting out of control. Karren was literally destroying her physical and mental health over her cousin, and it troubled you to no end. It's not like you didn't try to talk it through with her. You did, and she listened but categorically refused to watch out for herself when Shuu was in a much worse state than her.
You loved how caring your girlfriend could be, yeah, but this was just getting nuts. Someone's number one priority should be their own health, not someone else's. You supposed Karren did not have her priorities sorted out, and you were going to help her even if its the last thing you would do.
It's not like you didn't know exactly what was wrong, either. You weren't the only one worried after all. You and Matsumae talked about her almost everyday, trying to see what you could do to help by figuring out what was taking the biggest toll on her. According to her, Karren repressed her emotions, ate less and pushed herself to her very breaking point when she was training (you couldn't see it for yourself since you didn't work for the Tsukiyamas like they do). And those were just the three visible signs the two of you had noticed. Not to mention you saw her less and less. Really, it was a miracle if you could only greet her before going to bed.
You understood that Shuu was her cousin and she had the right to be worried about him, you really did, especially because Shuu was a close friend of yours as well (and the reason you met Karren in the first place), but there's a limit to how much you can sacrifice for someone.
••••
You waved towards Yuuma as you walked outside, looking for your friend for updates on your girlfriend's state.
"Ah, (Y/N)." Matsumae said, waving you over to where she was, apparently cleaning a fountain. Who the hell has a full size fountain in their backyard? And why? If Shuu weren't so sick, you would have debated that fact with him...
"Matsumae!" You replied, giving her a soft smile. "How are you?"
"I'm good." She said before frowning. "But Karren? Not so much."
"Yeah, I've noticed. I barely see her at home." You answered. "Does anything else seem... Wrong about her?"
"She's pushing herself even harder when we train. I'm trying to stop her from getting daily training but... Even if I refuse, she'll go to Mairo or Yuuma instead."
"It's getting that bad?" You said, huffing in disbelief. "She's hellbent on protecting him, isn't she?"
"It seems so." Matsumae sighed, leaning back from the stone of the water fountain. What a waste of water that thing was...
"What about eating? Is she trying to eat properly again?" You worriedly asked, praying to what ever gods there were out there that the answer was positive.
Your prayers were ignored.
Matsumae shook her head, causing you to sigh out of defeat. "She won't eat the meat I bring home either. Do you think she's picky? Does she not eat suicide victims anymore?"
"I don't think it's the actual food that's the problem, (Y/N) and you should too." The girl half-scolded. She was right, you knew it wasn't about pickiness, but you still wished it was. You'd kill anyone if it meant she'd eat them. Hell, you'd kill that investigator Arima if that's what she wanted to eat!
"It's just not healthy for her to push herself so much during training and then skip meals." You whined. "Is there anything I can do?
Matsumae shook her head again. "Unless you can find something that could bring Master Shuu out of his depression, I don't think there's much that can be done."
Your eyes fell to the ground as your heart sank to your stomach. Not much that can be done... But there's always something that can be done, no..? There always was, this situation shouldn't be so different from all the dilemmas you dealt with in the past. You just need to figure out what that something was.
Matsumae placed a hand on your shoulder, flashing you an encouraging smile. "You'll both get out of this. I'm sure if you do the right things, Karren will realize that risking her health not only hurts her, but you and I too."
You attempted to reciprocate the girl's smile, pulling her in for a much needed hug. "Thanks, Matsu. Thank you for helping us."
••••
Karren stopped in her tracks, looking out the window and frowning at the sight. She squinted her eyes, mouth pressed into a line as she watched you pull Matsumae in for a hug. The two of you had gotten quite... close. It bothered her to no end. Why did you always swing by to chat up Matsumae and leave without even greeting her? Here she was, taking care of her cousin as best she could and training her hardest to ensure you'd be safe too and you repay her by getting a bit too friendly with Matsumae?
Even if she felt jealous, she couldn't completely blame you. Karren knew she neglected you a bit since Shuu got sick, but it was necessary, no? She thought you'd still be happy as long as she came back home every night, but apparently that wasn't enough for you.
Besides, Matsumae is a good person, no? You deserve her. She's kind, beautiful, loyal, determined, patient... All things Karren was not. She's always wondered how you could deal with someone as possessive and jealous as her. Apparently, the answer was that you couldn't.
Glancing back down to the cup of coffee in her hands, the girl scolded herself for making Shuu wait, but she was so afraid that if her gaze left the two of you, something much worse would happen.
No, you wouldn't do that. You may be angry with her, but Karren knew you wouldn't cheat on anyone. You were loyal. ...Were you?
Swallowing her paranoia, Karren hesitantly turned her back on the window and made her way to Shuu's room, heart still aching from the sight she saw. If you wanted to break things off, you'd do it, and that's what scared her the most.
••••
The door of your apartment opening and closing stopped you from answering the question Matsumae had just asked you on the phone and you watched in wonder as Karren walked past the living room, stopping at the doorway once she noticed that's where you were seated.
"Hey, Karren got off early?" You asked the girl on the phone, giving your girlfriend a wave of your hand, which she frowned at. It was worse than what she previously thought, if you were ignoring her to talk with Matsumae.
"Yeah, I sent her back because she was absolutely exhausted after today's sparring." The girl said, making you sigh. Of course she was.
"Ah, alright. Thanks."
"I'll let you go now, I hope we can talk later?" Matsumae asked. You nearly nodded, until you realized that she couldn't see you right now and it would be absolutely useless.
"Yeah, talk to you later!" You answered. "Bye."
"Bye."
With that, you took the phone off of your ear and pressed the red button on the screen, ending the call.
"Nice conversation with Matsumae?" Karren bitterly asked, still standing in the doorway between the hall and the living room.
"Er... yeah." You nervously said. You could basically feel the negative energy radiating off of her. "Is something on your mind, Karren? You wanna talk about it?" You asked. Maybe her bottled up emotions were going to explode soon...
"Nein." She spoke, turning around and heading to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. Might as well occupy her mouth before she blurts out something in the lines of 'I just find it funny how...'
"Alrighty, German." You sarcastically muttered. "She's feeling some strong emotions then, and they're definitely not positive." You sighed, getting up from the couch and following her.
"There's some fresh meat in the fridge. Maybe it'd be good if you ate something after that training session with Matsu." You proposed, definitely noticing how her shoulders tensed and how her grip on the half empty glass of water tightened.
"I'm good, Danke." She answered before turning towards you, a fake smile plastered on her lips. "And you, (Y/N)? Did you have a good day? Did you enjoy your time with Matsu?" Oh, how that nickname had pissed her off...
"Hm?" You tilted your head to the side, slightly confused. "Oh, you mean when I swung by today? I mean, I just went to get some info from her, but... I guess we had a good conversation?"
Your answer did not help. Oh, gosh, how were you so bad with talking to angry women? Karren simply looked even more pissed by how positively you talked about her co-worker.
"And how come you didn't stay to greet me, at least?" She inquired, jealousy getting the best of her.
"My shift at :Re was starting soon, and I know you don't have a lot of time, from tending to the garden to taking care of Shuu..." You explained.
Excuses, excuses. Karren was getting sick of them. If you wanted Matsumae, why won't you just leave her and get to your beloved Matsu?
She slammed her glass on the counter, nearly breaking it in the process. Taking a deep breath, she spoke as calmly as possible. "Are you sure there isn't anything you want to tell me, meine liebste?"
"No, I don't think so, other than maybe you should eat something?"
"Stop avoiding it!" Karren finally yelled out. "Stop it! I'm sick of these excuses as much as you're sick of me!"
You jumped at the loudness of her voice before frowning, concern flowing through your veins. "What do you--" Karren abruptly turned towards you, cutting you off mid sentence.
"Stop lying to me! Stop pretending that you still care, I can see you're overdoing it, I know you're lying!" Her voice was wavering by now, but she didn't care. "I know you think I'm trash. I know you're sick of how possessive, selfish and jealous I am, and I'm sorry, but don't go behind my back and love another woman because of it! You could at least break things off with me before you do it." She nearly whimpered the last part, tears blurring her vision. She just wanted to be loved by someone, damn it... Was she actually unlovable? Was she so flawed that not even a gentle soul like you could genuinely care for her? "I try so hard to be strong enough to protect you, and you repay me by loving someone else when it should be me?"
"Karren..." You tried to reach out for her hand, but she pulled away. "Who are you talking about?"
"Who am I tal-- Matsumae! Who else have you been getting that close to?!" She closed her mouth and frowned before speaking up again. "Actually, don't answer that. My heart is already broken enough as it is."
"Karren, I haven't been planning on cheating on you with Matsumae." You said, face contorting into a pained expression. "Do you think I'm not loyal? That I'm unfaithful?"
"What? No, I just..." She didn't even finish her sentence, deciding to mentally beat herself up over how little she trusted you. Of course you were loyal, right?
"I wasn't getting chummy with Matsumae, Karren. I was trying to figure out how to help you." You explained, trying to remain as calm as possible. "I love you and I'm worried about you."
Karren frowned at your words. What was wrong with her? Why were you trying to 'help' her? "What..? What's wrong with me? Why are you worried?" She asked, finally able to blink back her tears.
"Have you not noticed?" You asked, expression even more worried. It was bad if she didn't notice anything. "You haven't been taking care of yourself. You're neglecting sleep, you don't eat, you bottle up your feelings, you don't communicate with me anymore. I barely get to say 'hello' to you when you come back home before you pass out in bed. I'm worried about your physical and mental health, and I'm sort of worried about our relationship, too."
Come to think of it, you were right. Her life was basically crumbling apart due to how much time and energy she put into helping her cousin. Yet, that didn't seem to bother her right now. She was more preoccupied about how her heart felt like it swelled up from the amount of concern you had for her. About how you put as much time into helping her as you did taking care of your own self. It was nice to know you cared about her. It was really reassuring to know her doubts about you were wrong.
"I'm sorry for making you worry so much." She apologetically said, her gaze falling on the floor. "It wasn't in my intentions, and I'm sorry for getting so paranoid and jealous. My lack of trust in you is alarming."
You melancholically smiled and placed your hand on her cheek, thumb gently rubbing her cheekbone. "It's alright. You're sleep deprived, you're most likely starving and exhausted. Anyone would act the way you are right now, and I forgive you. I love you too much to stay mad at you for more than five seconds."
The girl in front of you raised her head to look at you and reciprocated your smile, hand reaching to touch the one on her cheek and leaning into your touch. "I don't deserve you." She mindlessly said, causing you to frown.
"You deserve happiness, love. And if I'm the one to give it to you, then you deserve me." You spoke, before reluctantly letting go of her and walking towards the fridge to grab some food. "Now sit down. I'm marinating some meat in O positive blood. That what you like the most, right?"
You turned to her, awaiting an answer but instead of confirming your (correct) assumption, Karren hugged you, burying her face into your neck and sighing in satisfaction when you wrapped your arms around her waist and pulled her closer, if it was even possible.
"Thank you." She whispered, overwhelmed by her love and affection for you. "Thank you so much for loving me and caring."