00 | ROSE
THE SUNLIGHT IMMEDIATELY kissed my skin after I got out from the tricycle. My eyes got teary after it was exposed from the sun. It was scorchingly hot as if no one would survive from its heat. It burned my skin as if frying my whole sanity so I immediately looked for a shelter to protect myself and found a shade of a tree. The tree was big enough to cover me from the sunlight. I ran towards there and sigh in relief.
My eyes that were almost closing, adjusting itself from the clear vision I desired, wandered to the whole new place. At first, I could not fathom how I should react from this place, but after adjusting my sight, my eyes finally got clear. All I saw was a beautiful piece of artwork that people from the city would fathom living in.
It was my desired piece of artwork that I have been longing for to live with - malayo sa mausok, mabaho , at maingay na lugar. Nakakaagaw pansin ang kulay berde sa buong lugar na siyang hinahanap ng isang parte ng sarili ko.
The hot wind immediately embraced me. I frowned as it contacted me. Animo'y nakikipag-sundo ito ngayon sa init ng panahon para dumampi sa balat ko.
"Precious, I need your help!" Mama asked for help.
"Wait lang, Ma," sagot ko at kaagad na hinanap ang bucket hat ko sa maliit na bag na mayroon ako. Nang mahanap, I immediately ran towards her and helped her bring out bags full of our clothes.
Mabigat ang bag, animo'y nakikipagsundo sa kung ano ang naramdaman namin mga ilang buwan na ang nakakalipas.
Running away from home was never easy, but running away from home was not our intention. We ran away from the broken dreams and promises that turned into a nightmare. It was the only way to free ourselves from someone important from us who had promised something that was not meant to be broken. Running away from him was fulfilling.
I am finally free. Mama is finally free. We are finally free.
Who would have thought we were able to break free from the father I have known ever since I was an infant? No one had ever thought about it. Even our evil relatives.
After my mother paid our fare, I was finally able to look around. We said goodbye to the tricycle driver and he drove off.
"Ang init," reklamo ni Mama habang bitbit ang mga mabibigat naming bag patungo sa lilim ng puno.
We were left in the middle of the dusty and dry road were the land were almost cracking. Napaupo ako at napapikit ng mga mata. I feel out of energy because of the heat. Tag-init din kasi kaya normal lamang na ganito kainit pero pakiramdam ko tumataas ang init ngayong araw.
"Uminom ka muna ng tubig, Precious."
Napabaling ako nang tingin kay Mama at nakitang may inaabot siyang isang bote ng tubig sa akin. Inabot ko naman 'yon at sinubukang uminom. Hindi malamig ang tubig pero sapat na para mahimasmasan ako.
Nakarinig ako ng ingay galing sa likuan papasok sa kalooban ng lugar na ito. Tumayo ako at sinubukan hanapin sila roon at nakita ang mga kaedad kong naglalaro ng basketball.
Animo'y entrance pa lamang ang daan kung saan kami naroroonan ngayon dahil sa kanan namin ay likuan patungo sa kaloob-looban ng lugar. Mula rito, nakikita ko ang mga kaedad ko at ang mas mga bata sa akin na masayang naglalaro ng basketball na walang pang-itaas. It feels like they were not bothered by how painful the sunlight was.
This place was an area. I heard from my mother that it was named a Sitio after people knew that there are people who are living here. It was like a subdivision from a city, but from a rural area.
Kaharap namin ang mga naglalakihang bahay. In front of us was a magnificent blue house from a small hill with a blue gate. Besides, there was a destroyed home. There were lots of flowers and green weeds inside their yard and outside of their tall fence. There were santan flowers surrounding their fence.
Sa gilid naman namin ay ang mansion na kulay orange na may pinagsamang yellow. Animo'y mas nagbabaga ang bahay dahil sa kulay na nakikisama sa kulay ng araw.
This place feels so lively. Agad nag-pista ang mga mata ko at nilibot ang buong tingin. Hindi ko maipagkakaila na naiiba ang lugar at mas maganda kaysa sa dati naming lugar.
"This will be our new home," I heard my mother say and looked at our new house.
Our new house looks dirty and old. There were some unwanted weeds crawling around the walls and some tall grasses were covering the house and the entrance.
There would be a lot of dirty work certainly, but I know that it will be worth it.
"Kanina ka pa hindi kumikibo, Precious," sabi ni Mama at tumawa.
Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti at sumagot, "I am just happy, Ma."
Napatingin naman ako sa mga paa ko at sinubukang pagalawin ang daliri ng mga binti ko. It feels so new, but I felt the familiarity that it feels like home. This is so anew to me, but it feels like I am finally home, away from a toxic place that I won't mind of never going back again.
"Tara, pasok na tayo," sabi ni Mama at nauna na.
Mama was about to open the gate when I saw her having difficulty with our heavy bags.
"Ako na, Ma," I insisted at inagaw sa kaniya ang susi ng gate.
I had some difficulty opening the bamboo gate because of the weeds, but I still managed to open it.
Kaagad bumangad sa akin ang hindi ko makilalang lugar.
Tall grasses were blocking the way and some unknown plants pierced my bare skin below. Nakagat din ako ng mga pulang langgam. Wrong move talaga na nagsuot lang ako ng shorts ngayon pero wala rin akong choice dahil mas makakagalaw ako at hindi ako maiinitan kung magsusuot ako nito.
Successful din naman kaming nakaalis at nakaapak sa bahay na ito ni Mama. Unfortunately, Mama has no difficulties maybe because she shows no signs of discomfort and she knows how to find ways.
Sana all, Mama.
The house were very dirty now that we had take a look of it. Mas madami pang ligaw na damo ngayon. Lumapit ako sa bintana ng bahay at sinubukang hawakan pero agad na lumayo ang kamay ko dahil sa alikabok na ayaw pang umalis ng bahay.
Mama opened the house with the key she had and when the door was open, it welcomed us to the empty and lonely world of our new home. Animo'y ang tagal ng hindi ito tinirhan.
Naunang pumasok si Mama bitbit ang mabibigat na bag naming dalawa at sumunod naman ako. As I entered, I sneeze and immediately covered my nose because it was so dusty. Langhap na langhap ko ang alikabok.
"Pagpasensyahan mo na 'tong bahay ng Tita Carmen mo. Matagal nang hindi 'to ginagamit," sabi ni Mama sa akin.
"This was Tita's house?" I asked curiously.
Mama nodded and said, "Binigay niya lang 'to sa atin since wala na rin tayong mapupuntahan."
I was saddened to hear her say that.
Totoong wala na kaming mapupuntahan ni Mama at iniisip ko na rin na hindi kami matutulungan ng mga kamag-anak namin, pero may natitira pa pala.
"I never thought Tita Carmen would help us," I told her and put our bags on the corner.
"Well, your Tita has a big heart."
I miss Tita Carmen. I hope she's fine. Balita ko, nakipaghiwalay na rin siya sa dati niyang asawa dahil sa pananakit nito.
This is why most of our relatives believe that separation runs in the streams of my family. I don't exactly understand why they believe it, but I think it was only a myth. There were so many reasons why separation led to certain couples and it is an unpropitious marriage.
My Lola got separated from my Lolo when I was eight because both of them fell out of love. Tita Carmen and his husband who works in a hotel as a chef got separated too because of his abusive behaviour which hurt Tita Carmen physically and later it was found out he was mentally ill just two years ago. And some of our relatives too got separated from their partners, while others stayed strong.
They believed that my mother and my father got separated, too because of the myth they believed. Yet, the real cause why they separated is because my father is a cheater.
When I was twelve, in seventh grade, I saw my father with another woman and with another child walking together in a mall. Kasama ko no'n ang mga kaklase kong namamasyal para mag-bonding. Noong una, hindi ko naman pinansin maybe because it was my father's co-worker. Noong nilapitan ko naman sila, they looked worried that they might be able to find out, but when I asked my father why he was with that woman and kid, he answered he was just helping her. Of course, I do not believe it, but later after my inquisitive thoughts, I finally believe what he answered. The kid with them was about to say something, but the woman immediately covered the kid's mouth. I was still confused, so I told my father that we will wait for him at dinner. That evening on the same day, he never appeared. Mama cried all night.
However, later when I was fourteen, my father was exposed by Tito Richard, his step brother. Tito Richard said he had someone else while he was married. Tito Richard could not keep it to himself. My father had no choice, but to tell in front of our family that he was in love with someone else and he had loved her secretly.
Naalala ko, it was in the middle of my Tita Carmen and his husband's ongoing annulment. Kaya hindi ko alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ko, pero mas namuo ang galit at pighati ko.
My family were surprised, but it's also not new to them because they already anticipated that this would happen to my mother too, who already knew my father was cheating.
The one who was affected by the sudden truth was me because I thought Mama and Papa were a happy couple and they love each other. Si Papa pala ang hindi masaya at hindi mahal si Mama.
Mama showed no affection towards the sudden devastating confession of my father. However, on the same night, I heard her weep inside their room. I knew she was devastated, but remained strong.
After a month, both Mama and Papa decided to file an annulment case which lasted for two years. Now, they are finally separated.
I was happy that they were finally separated, but I am still worried with my mother. Kahit sabihin ko man sa sarili ko na ako ang pinaka-apektado sa lahat dahil ako ang anak at bakit ganito ang nangyari sa amin, Mama still did her best to become the best for me and for my father.
I don't think that separation runs into our family. It was my father's fault who found another woman and was not content with being a married man.
Bakit mas pinili niyang ipakasal silang dalawa ni Mama kung sa huli mas pipiliin niyang maghanap ng iba?
After the annulment, pinaalis kaagad kami ng mga magulang ng ama ko sa bahay namin. My father's parents were both disappointed in my mother. I knew it was going to happen. As if, it was my mother's fault, when it's entirely my father who desired to have an affair.
I still remember the words they threw at us. However, for now, I have to show that I am not affected at all by our current situation.
IT WAS A LOT of work. Umabot ng isang linggo ang pagpapaayos at pagsasaayos ng bagong lugar namin.
Inayos namin ang bakuran ng dating lugar ni Tita Carmen. Bumili kami ng mga bagong halaman at bulaklak sa plant at flower shop na malapit sa barangay. Pinapintura din namin ang aming bahay. Nagpagawa kami ng bagong gate at kinompleto ang mga gamit na maaaring gamitin sa bago naming bahay. Nagpalagay na rin kami ng power supply sa bahay dahil matagal ng inabandona ang bahay.
It cost my mother a lot, especially when she bought the needed materials in the town's market. However, I think it's fine that everything will cost a lot because materials needed in home cost a lot and are expensive nowadays. Kung binili siguro namin ang bahay, tiyak mas maraming pera ang malulustay ni Mama
Nagkaroon na rin kami ng kilala rito sa lugar at maraming tumulong sa amin. Most of the ones who help us were boys with the same age as mine. They were at first curious at us, especially we have seen them looking at us suspiciously, but it turns out they were only trying to take a look at us and wanted to know us. Kinalaunan, tinulungan na rin nila kami dahil may mga alam sila sa mga gawaing kailangan ang tulong ng mga lalaki.
Ang bayad namin? Sapat na raw ang pagpapakain sa kanila ng almusal o tanghalian. I was shocked by how they just needed that instead of money.
"Shet, pre! Ang ganda talaga," narinig kong sabi ng isa sa kanila habang naghahanda ako ng almusal dito sa veranda para sa kanila habang inaayos nila ang bagong gate ng bahay.
"Huwag kang halata, pre. Baka mapaghalataan ka," sagot ng isa.
Napabaling ako nang tingin sa kanila at kaagad naman silang tumahimik at bumilis ang mga kilos nila.
Hindi ko mapigilang bilisan ang pagsasaayos ng almusal nila at pumasok na sa loob ng bahay. Bumuntong-hininga ako at napapunas ako ng pawis. Wala akong magawa kundi ang ipagpatuloy na lamang ang paglilinis ng buong bahay.
Buong araw ay nag-ayos kaming lahat at nang magagabi na ay nagpaalam na silang lahat sa amin at nagsiuwian na rin sila.
Me and Mama were busy preparing our dinner when suddenly she stated, "Ang ganda mo raw sabi ng mga kalalakihan dito."
Napabaling ako kay Mama at nakita ang malaking ngisi sa mukha niya.
"Hindi na ako magugulat kung araw-araw nandito sila tinutulungan ako. I'll know it because I know how pretty my daughter is."
Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti sa sinabi ni Mama.
"Si Mama talaga bolera," saad ko na lang at nagpatuloy sa pagsasaayos ng lamesa na gagamitin namin.
"Hindi naman ako nambobola dahil 'yon ang totoo."
Napangiti na lamang ako, hindi matago-tago at nag-umpisa na rin kaming kumain. The table is small, but enough for the two of us. It feels lively too. Hindi siya 'yong kagaya sa lamesa na mayro'n kami dati na malaki nga at madaming handang pagkain pero parang wala lang dahil dalawa lang kaming kumakain.
"How's the place?" Mama asked while we're in the middle of eating.
"It's nice," I answered and took a spoonful of food and happily ate it.
"Mabuti naman at nagustuhan mo ang lugar," sabi ni mama at nagpatuloy na rin sa pagkain.
Who would not like this kind of place? It's full of green. It's lively and calming.
"Summers are going to end."
Napatigil ako sa pagkain at magkadikit ang kilay na tumingin kay Mama.
"It's already May, will you go back to school?" Mama asked out of the sudden.
Binaba ko ang kutsara at tinidor ko at seryosong napatingin kay Mama.
"It's May?" I asked surprisingly.
"Yes," Mama answered casually.
Syete! I did not know that. May na pala ngayon. I drifted into my world, not knowing it was already a new month.
"Next month, back to school na. You're not going to enrol? You're already a senior high."
Hindi pa ako enrolled. Nag-graduate na rin ako last April sa junior high sa paaralan na pinapasukan ko. However, my life there does not end very well because of the people that surrounds me.
After they knew how my family ended, some of the teachers, my schoolmates, and even my friends suddenly started to tease me about the things in my life like how I will end up just like my mother. Kahit sila ay naniniwala sa history ng pamilya namin. I don't know how they knew it, but probably, it was also one of my relatives who was also studying at my old school.
They do not respect my life. Akala ko kapag Christian school, marespeto ang mga tao roon, hindi naman pala lahat. They do not respect what happened to my family. They only looked partially at our situation and blamed my mother because of our family history and issues.
It feels like they were validating cheaters.
I hate my father. I hate cheaters. I hate them.
"Saan ka mag-aaral? Sa dating eskwelahan mo ba ulit?"
I sighed.
"Ayoko na roon," sagot ko.
"Bakit naman? Filamer provides the best education," she said.
"I just don't think I am going back there," sagot ko na lamang at hinawakan ang mga kubyertos.
"Okay, then. I'll let you choose your school. I'll ask some recommendations from the boys out there tomorrow," she said.
I just nodded and continued eating.
MAAGA AKONG UMALIS ng bahay.
Mother wanted me to choose some flowers to be decorated outside our home. Hindi siya nasiyahan sa mga nabili niya at nakukulangan siya. Gusto niya pang dagdagan kaya inutusan niya akong bumili ng bulaklak ngayong umaga.
Sabado ngayon at maraming tao ang bumibili lalo na't maaga pa lang at dinig ko kanina na ilalagay nila ito sa kanilang altar para sa Flores De Mayo. Mayo na rin kasi kung kaya't normal na madaming bibili ng mga bulaklak lalo na't namumukadkad ang mga ito at nakikihalubilo sa papasikat na araw.
Habang tumitingin sa mga bulaklak, agad inagaw ng pansin ng mga mata ko ang isang pulang bulaklak na madaming tinik. Sinubukan kong hawakan 'yon ng buong pag-iingat ngunit nabangga ako ng isang tao mula sa likuran ko at aksidenteng natusok ang buong kamay sa mga tinik.
"Ouch," mahinang daing ko at mabilis na nilayo ang kamay sa mga tinik.
Tumulo kaagad ang mga dugo galing sa aking kamay.
"I'm so sorry, Miss!" pagpaumanhin ng lalaking nakabangga sa akin sa likuran.
"Ayos lang," I said, but I am not feeling well because it still hurts.
Some thorns from the plant stayed in my palm. The man who bumped me grabbed my hand and held it gently. I looked at him and saw his eyes scanning on my palm.
Napatingin siya sa akin at kita ko ang pagkagulat ng mga mata niya. Napadikit ang mga kilay ko pero napa-aray nang humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko. He was surprised by my sudden squeal. Niluwagan niya naman ang pagkahawak sa kamay ko at nahihiyang idinikit ang mga daliri sa gilid ng mga sugat.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," he said and started rubbing my palm in a gentle manner.
"Ayos lang," I said once again.
"Does it hurt?" he asked worriedly.
Tumango ako pero napailing kaagad. He chuckled and continued rubbing my palm.
May lumapit naman sa aming matandang babae at tinanong kung ano ang nangyari. He was the one who answered what happened and the old woman looked at me. She worriedly held my hand and guided at the back of the shop.
"Hugasan mo ang kamay mo," sabi niya at nagpaalam na kukuha lang ng bandage.
The man grabbed my hand again and put it in the rushing water. The cold immediately embraced my hand. Kita ko rin kung paano niya minasahe ang kamay ko at dahan-dahang kinuha ang mga tinik.
Actually, I can do this by myself, but the man doesn't want to let go of my hand. I could see from his face that he felt responsible for what happened. Parang mas alam niya rin kasi kung anong gagawin niya.
Sunod na ginawa niya ay ang dahan-dahang pagsabon ng kamay ko. I felt ticklish because of his gentle massage of my hand, but I suppressed myself. Nang makiliti ulit ako, ramdam ko ang paghigpit ng hawak niya dahil parang kakalawa na ako sa pagtili niya at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa.
"May panyo ka ba?" tanong niya.
Agad akong naghanap sa bag ko at ibinigay sa kaniya. Dahan-dahan niyang pinunasan ang kamay ko.
Ilang segundo ang nakalipas, dumating kaagad ang nagmamay-ari ng shop na may dalang first aid kit. Ang lalaki naman ay kinuha 'yon at binalingan na ulit ng atensyon ang kamay ko.
Some of the wounds stopped bleeding, while the others were still bleeding. Siya na rin ang nag-linis ng kamay ko gamit ang betadine at pinahiran na rin ng alcohol. Mahapdi pero tiniis ko pa rin ang sakit.
The way he treated my wound was very gentle. It does not match his appearance. His eyes could pierce someone anytime, but if you have observed him carefully, he has an amiable touch that respects everything he touches.
"Thank you," I said shyly and smiled at him.
He was stunned for a moment, but he just nodded as if everything was going to be alright.
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The places used in this story were based in real life, yet the characters and scenes are all living up to the author's imagination.
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This chapter is entitled Rose. Like the thorns of the roses, Precious got pricked by different situations in her life that gave her difficulties. Yet like the beautiful petals of the rose, she entered a new life that she would want to live forever, and met a man who later on gave her inquisitiveness in life.