You are one million feelings
in one single feeling.
Seeker
Thirdy and I decided to visit the National Shrine of Our Mother of Perpetual Help after I discharged from the hospital. It was still dark when we reached the place and there were only few people that can be seen around the area. Thirdy and I walked in a comfortable silence towards the church entrance. I let out a sigh as I dipped my index finger in the holy water font and signed of the cross. I looked at him and he gave me a small smile.
Thirdy wrapped his arm around my waist as we enter the sacred place. I put my hands together as we walk slowly along the aisle. I've been bottling up my emotions since yesterday and I cannot contain it anymore. The first tear broke free and the rest followed in an unbroken stream. Thirdy leaned my head to his shoulder and gently caressed my back.
We settled at the nearest pew infront of the altar and both of us knelt. I was so lost and can't even find the right words to start my prayer. So I opened my heart and let it talk on my behalf. A heart to heart talk with Him. For a moment, my mind calmed and all the worries vanished. At kung may isang bagay man akong hiniling sa Kanya, yon ay ang gabayan nya kami ni Thirdy sa bagong yugto ng buhay namin.
***
The smell of bacon and fried rice welcomed us as the door of my unit opens. Then I saw Jho busy in the kitchen cooking, while Nico was arranging the utensils on the dining table.
"Good morning." The couple greeted us with full smile on their faces.
"Good morning, Nico. Good morning, Beh." I made beso to both of them while Thirdy gave Nico a fist bump and beso to Jho. "Akala ko magpapahinga kayong dalawa? Bakit nandito kayo? Kagabi pa kayo nagbabantay sa akin."
"Beh hindi naman kami pagod ni Nico. Kaya wag mo kaming isipin." Jho said as she put the plate full of bacon on the table. Thirdy pulled a chair for me and I sat cautiously.
"Oo nga Bea. Masanay ka na, lagi kaming nasa tabi mo para bantayan ka." Nico explained with so much excitement on his face.
"Thank you to the both of you. But Nico, you're just here for a vacay lang naman kaya." I said, all of us on our designated seats. Thirdy was beside me while my bestfriend and his boyfriend on the other side.
"Pipilitin kong makauwi as often as possible. Naeexcite na ako eh." Nico giggled and Jho immediately pinched him.
"Aba. So dahil kay baby kaya ka naeexcite. Hello ako girlfriend mo." Thirdy and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders as the couple continue bantering.
"Grabe ka naman sa akin Bibi. And besides pati ang soon pamangkin / inaanak / anak natin pinagseselosan mo." Nico rubbed his arm, still giggling. Etong dalawang to talaga oh.
"Nico, Jho." Thirdy called the attention of the couple. He immediately grabbed my hand and intertwined it with him. "Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa inyong dalawa. Sa pagbabantay nyo sa hospital at sa support nyo sa amin ni Bea." He said sincerely.
"Walang anuman Bro. Basta nandito kami ni Jho para sa inyong dalawa." Nico acknowledged.
"Thirds, Bea is my sister, my bestfriend. So hinding hindi ko sya pababayaan." Jho looked at me with so much sincerity in her eyes. She even gave Thirdy her sweetest smile.
"Thank you." Thirdy and I said in unison.
"Anything for you Beh and Thirdy. And of course for our little one." Napangiti ako sa sinabi ni Jho at napahawak sa aking tyan. Our little one. "Thirds, here's your coffee oh. You look so tired and sleepy. Yung totoo, ikaw buntis?"
Thirdy laughed as he accepts the cup of coffee. "Thank you for this, Jho. A much needed coffee."
"So, pray na tayo para hindi na lumamig ang food at makakain na tayo?" We all nodded and bowed our head while Nico led the grace before meal.
I smiled at the sight of Jho and Nico. It's been awhile since the last time that we had this kind of bonding, eating together while having a light conversation. I barely went on a date with these two because I hate being third wheel, maiinggit lang ako.
Nico and I were really in good terms since then. I don't have any issues with him 'cause he was a nice guy naman. If there were problems that we've been encountered before, it was all because of Jho. Sa sobrang pagkaclingy nitong bestfriend ko, nakalimutan na lahat ng responsibilities na meron sya. And I am so glad that we're back on the old version of us.
I was thankful to Jho and Nico for all the efforts and support that they were giving me and Thirdy.
"Ammm Beh." I looked at Jho and I cannot read her facial expression. She gave me a small smile then sighed. "Ready ka na ba harapin sila Mom at Dad?"
Bahagya akong natigilan. Ready na nga ba ako? I glanced at Thirdy and he immediately smiled at me. Thirdy and I decided to tell our parents about this as early as possible, his parents first, then mine. Honestly, natatakot ako, sa magiging reaction nila Mama Mozzy at Papa Bong at lalong lalo na kila Mommy at Daddy.
"Kailangan, Beh. Para kay baby." Then I rubbed my tummy and smiled.
"Babe, Mama and Papa will visit us later and join us for a late lunch. I told them kasi na nahospitalize ka. Gusto ka nilang kamustahin." Thirdy said. "I guess, best time na din yun para sabihin natin sakanila."
"Yeah." I nodded as a response.
"Don't worry Bro, kami na ni Jho mag order ng food nyo mamaya para hindi na hassle na magluto pa kayo."
"Thanks Bro." Thirdy to Nico.
"Uwi na lang muna kami ni Nico later pag order namin ng food. Para may privacy naman ang pag uusap nyo." Jho butted in.
Thirdy and I smiled. "Ammm Babe, one more thing." Thirdy held my hand. "I told Tita Det and Tito Elmer na we will visit them today. They'll expect us to be there for dinner."
"What?" I said in disbelief. "Kailangan ba parehong araw sabihin sakanila? Hindi pa nga natin alam magiging reaction nila Mama at Papa tapos gusto mo kila Mom and Dad sabihin na din natin." Medyo napataas ang boses ko.
Thirdy immediately pulled me for a hug. "Baby, I am sorry." He even kissed my temple to calm me down. "Kahit ano pang maging reaction nila, kailangan natin tanggapin iyon. At wag kang mag alala, magkasama naman tayo. Hinding hindi kita papabayaan. And I don't want to prolong it anymore Babe, I want to tell them that we're having a baby."
I bit my lower lip to suppress my tears. Natatakot na naman ako.
Jho reached for my hand and said. "Beh, don't be scared na. Nico and I will join you na lang for the dinner tonight, okay? We'll gonna support you and Thirdy." She gave Thirdy a knowing look.
***
It was past 1 in the afternoon and I was lying down comfortably on my bed when the door bell rang. That only means Mama and Papa were already outside. My heart beats so fast and there were lots of things that goes through my mind again. I massaged my temple and about to stand up when Thirdy peeped on a slightly open door.
"Ako na Baby, stay there, okay?" He said, I wonder how he stay calm and chill knowing that we'll be facing his parents. Kung sa bagay, lalaki naman sya.
"Ate Bea." I heard a familiar voice calling my name and I knew it was Dani. Then someone pushed the door and it releaved the youngest Ravena. She immediately jumped into the bed and hug me tightly. Oh my sweet baby girl Dani.
"Ate kamusta ka na? I really wanted to go yesterday sa hospital kaso ayaw naman sabihin ni Kuya kung nasaan kayo." She pouted, that's why I pinched both of her cheeks. Sobrang cute. "Aray naman Ate. Kala ko ba may sakit ka pero bakit ang sakit naman ng pagpisil mo sa pisngi ko." She rubbed her cheeks, napasobra nga ata ang pisil ko dahil sobrang pula nito.
"Sorry Dani. Cute mo kasi eh." Both of us giggled.
"Bea, anak." I glanced at the door and saw a smiling Mama Mozzy and Papa Bong. Kinakabahan na naman ako.
"Mama, Papa, gu—gusto nyo na po bang kumain? Ba—babangon na po ako." I stuttered over my words.
"No anak, mag pahinga ka muna jan. Busog pa kami." Papa Bong answered.
Thirdy appeared and invited his parents to come inside. The couple sat on the vacant couch then Thirdy on the bed beside me, while Dani was still on the other side leaning her head on my shoulder.
"Bea, kamusta ka na? Mabuti na ba ang pakiramdam mo anak?" The sweet tone of Mama Mozzy's voice made my system calm. Maging kalmado pa din kaya sila Mama at Papa sa malalaman nila?
"Okay naman na po ako Mama. Nahilo lang po ako kahapon." I gave them a small smile. Thirdy grabbed my hand and held it tightly.
"Sabi ng Doctor, overfatigue lang daw." Thirdy explained.
"Good. Pero nasigurodo mo ba sa Doctor na nagawa lahat ng lab test, Thirdy? I just want to make sure na okay talaga si Bea." Papa Bong asked.
Thirdy and I stared at each other. Papa's question made me broke out into a cold seat. "Ammm Papa, Mama, Dani." He cleared his throat first. "Bea and I would like to tell you something." I tightened my grip on his hand while the three were patiently waiting for Thirdy's next words.
Huminga ako ng malalim. "Mama, Papa. I a—am, I am..." I stuttered big time. I paused when Thirdy pressed my hand.
"Mama, Papa. Bea and I, we're having a baby." Thirdy said firmly.
Namumuo na naman ang luha sa aking mga mata. "Sorry po." I muttered and tears were falling again.
"Ate." I felt Dani's thumb wiping my tears.
Mama and Papa were looking intently to both of us for a moment. Papa pulled Mama for a side hug and I was shocked on their reactions. Both of them were laughing. "Finally Mama, magkakaapo na tayo." Happiness and excitement evident on their faces.
The couple stood up and open their arms. "Come here Bea, anak. Payakap naman kami sa inyo ng apo ko." Mama said on her ever malambing voice. My heart melts.
I carefully got up from bed, habang inaalalayan ako ni Thirdy and immediately hugged Mama and Papa. Afterwards, Thirdy joined the group hug and I felt so relieved.
But I have noticed that Dani was still on the bed and just staring at us. "Dani." I called her attention and sat beside her. "I'm sorry. I know—"
"Ate." She cut me off and looked into my eyes, then to my tummy. And without a word, she pulled me and hugged me tightly.
"Dani, easy. Baka masaktan ang Ate Bea mo at si baby." Thirdy said.
"Sorry Ate at Kuya. Happy lang ako." Dani giggled and put her hand on my tummy. "Hi baby. Ako ang Tita Dani mo."
All of us laughed and the light vibes made me even happier. I was truly blessed to have Thirdy and his ever supportive family.
***
Nasa gate pa lang kami ni Thirdy ay rinig na ang ingay sa loob ng bahay. When we entered the house, I was confounded at the sight of Mom, Dad and Kuya together with Mama Lovel, Papa John, Jaja, Jho and Nico busy chitchatting. Oh oh, kumpleto ang buong pamilya. All of them were happy and enjoying each others company. Maging happy pa din kaya sila mamaya?
"Bea, Thirdy, mga anak. Nanjan na pala kayo. Please come in." Mom welcomed us. Thirdy and I gave everyone a beso and acknowledgement as we joined them at the dinning area.
"Bea napaluwas tuloy ang Mama at Papa mo nung nalaman na nahospital ka." Dad said as we settled on our seats.
"Sorry po Mom, Dad, Mama at Papa kung napag alala ko kayo." I apologized to my parents.
"Kamusta na ba ang pakiramdam mo Bea?" Mama Lovel asked.
"I'm feeling better naman na po Mama." I answered politely.
"Thirdy, thank you for taking good care of Bea ah. Minsan lang magkasakit yan kaya nag alala kami nung nalaman namin." Papa John stated.
"Walang anuman po Tito John. Pero it's my responsibility po to take care of her." Thirdy smiled to Papa.
Our helper placed a plate full of steamed crabs on the table, that was one of my favorites, but why did I find the smell stinky. "Foods are finally complete, so let's pray na." Kuya Loel led the prayer but before he could finish it, I felt an involuntary stomach reflexes. Nasusuka ako. As soon as the prayer ended, I immediately stood up and went to the comfort room.
"Are you okay, Baby?" I felt Thirdy rubbing my back as I puke on the sink. I wiped my mouth after I gargled the water from faucet. I looked at my boyfriend, at bakas ang pag aalala sa mukha nya. Nakaramdam na naman ako ng takot, so I buried my face on Thirdy's chest and he hugged me tightly. "You'll be okay Baby, I am just here." He even whispered.
After a minute, we went out of the comfort room and Jho was waiting for us outside. "Ang tagal nyo naman sa CR. May I remind you ah, buntis si Bea." She murmured and giggled on a low voice.
"Baliw." I slapped her arm and heard Thirdy laughing.
"Joke lang. Oh Beh, drink it." She handed me a glass of water. "Normal lang yan magsuka, so wag ka mag alala."
"Thank you. So kamusta sila doon?" I asked before I gulp the water.
"Nag alala sila." Jho answered. "Pagbalik natin, I guess kailangan nyo ng sabihin sakanila."
"Yes Jho. Para hindi na sila mag alala pa." Thirdy said calmly. Arg kaya ko na ba harapin silang lahat? Parang umiikot na naman ang sikmura ko.
Everyone was enjoying the food when we got back to the table. "Princess, what happened?" Mom was wearing a worried face.
"Medyo sumama lang po ang pakiramdam ko ulit."
"Are you sure Thirdy na clear lahat ang lab test? Bakit masama pa din ang pakiramdam nya?" Tanong ni Daddy.
"Yes po Tito Elmer." I glanced at Thirdy and he immediately held my hand under the table. "Pero there was a finding po that will totally change our lives." He paused for a second and looked into my eyes again. This is it. "Tito Elmer, Tita Det, Tito John and Tita Lovel." He let out a loud sigh. "Bea—"
"I am pregnant." I revealed unexpectedly. And for the nth time, my emotions built up that I lumped my throat. Thirdy squeezed my hands then pulled me for a side hug.
No one dared to speak but all eyes on me. Are they mad at me?
Thirdy cleared his throat and speak. "I am really sorry, Tito Elmer, Tita Det and Kuya Loel, and also to you Tito John and Tita Lovel. I am sorry to disappoint all of you. Alam ko pong masyadong napaaga si baby. Kaya po mas doble ang pag aalagang gagawin ko kay Bea ngayon. Mahal ko po ang anak nyo. At handa akong panagutan si Bea."
"Thirdy." Dad finally spoke. "What did I tell you the first time I met you?" I can't even read his facial expression.
"Huwag na huwag pong sasaktan si Bea."
"May sinabi pa si Dad." Kuya Loel said, his voice was quite loud. Thirdy and I glanced at each other with creased forehead. Kinakabahan na naman ako, natatakot ako sa pwede nilang gawin sa amin ni Thirdy.
"Thirdy, ayoko ng ganyan huh." Mom uttered, still calm but emotionless. "Masyado kang makakalimutin. Diba your Tito Elmer told you na excited na daw sya magkaapo."
Kuya Loel burst out laughing. All of them were suppressing their laughs, but failed as the room filled up with guffawings. I was nonplussed of their reactions.
"Oh anak, bakit nakakunot ang noo mo jan?" Dad said.
"Hi—hindi po ba kayo magagalit sa akin? Sa amin?" I tighten my grip to his hand.
"Princess, may mababago ba kung magagalit kami sa inyo? Wala naman diba? Hindi na din naman kayo minor ni Thirdy, alam din namin na responsable kayo pareho. At anak, sino ba naman ang tatanggi sa isang anghel?" Mom smiled while I was in tears.
I stood up and gave Mommy a hug. "Thanks Mom." Dad and Kuya Loel joined the group hug and they even kissed my forehead.
"Excited na ko para sa apo ako." Dad announced that made all of us laugh.
"Ate Jho, mukhang naiinggit si Mama at Papa, gawa na din kaya kayo ni Kuya Nico." Jaja uttered out of nowhere.
"Baliw ka talaga." Jho, Mama and Papa said in unison, lalong lumakas ang tawanan.
I never imagined this day as light as this. Our families welcomed us with open arms after the revelation. Thirdy and I were so fortunate to have a very supportive and loving families. I could not ask for more. Thank you Lord.
I walked towards Thirdy and gave him a tight hug. "Babe, I am so happy." I murmured.
"Ako din Babe." He whispered and rubbed my tummy. "Hello baby. Kamusta ka jan? You know what, everyone is happy because of you baby." I chuckled as Thirdy talk to our baby. "Sa ngayon, magpalaki ka muna sa tyan ni Mommy, okay? Pero baby wag mo masyado papahirapan ang Mommy mo. Promise, I'll give you anything and everything basta behave ka lang. I love you baby. And I love you, Mommy." I love you, Mommy. Ang sarap pakinggan.
I looked up and mumbled. "I love you even more, Daddy." I tiptoed and gave him a short soft kiss, not minding the people around us.