Back in the little doorless room from Naveena she takes out a knife – my knife – from the little box. Her feet crossed and the little bowl in her lap she is about to sink it obvious haphazardly into the hares stomach, before I grab her wrist harshly.
She stares at me in shock, but I just shake my head and sit down next to her, taking the knife. I made this long enough to know that whatever she was about to do, it would have turned out into a mess and the fur would have been ruined. I also take the bowl and the hare showing her how to cut the throat open.
Luckily it must have been a fresh catch because the blood is running out fast and smooth. She looks at what I do, without a real intention to stop me. Good; at least something she trusts me with. At some point, the blood stops to drool out, so I hand her bowl, before skinning the animal in my hand with a single powerful pull. Naveena's eyes widen at the two parts in my hands. Did she never skin something? I thought they use all parts that are available? I wonder what they do with the meat.
"You have more hidden talents than I thought!", she says happily grinning. I just look at her, keeping my face straight. How does she not know? Is that what Etain meant? After laying down the meat and fur next to her she takes the bowl and I get up to move away. I don't want to be fed on animal blood, and for sure not from someone who is not even able to really care for their self. I slide down with my back to the wall that is the farthest away from her and she takes a look at me before taking the bowl to her lips, starting to drink.
I cross my feet and arms in front of me, closing my eyes to block my environment out. How do I want to continue? All options within my head either will start a war or end up with somebody hurt I try to protect. I can't just stick my head into the ground and play dead either, because the murderers are still out there and as long as they are alive, Tristan is in danger. Nora is in danger, too. For now, they should be safe, but who knows. As far as I can tell I don't have a real option. I need to stay cautious, waiting for an opportunity, and make the best out of my situation.
I still don't like Plan B and Tristan made it even more complicated. Bastard. I have to smile at the thought of him softly answering what a fool I am. I already miss his scent and presence. Running my hands through my hair I change my sitting to lay down my elbows on my knees. Naveena's scent is coming closer and when I open my eyes to see what's going on she sits right in front of me on her feet, slightly leaning to me. A glance at the bowl behind her tells me that she doesn't intend to feed me with that blood as its empty.
Her gray eyes observe my face. "I like your smile. You know, Connor is not so wrong with what he said.", a little sparkle darting over her eyes and I give her a skeptical look. What does that mean now? She licks her lips. "I know what you think.", she points out. "I am not the strongest and my talents are ... different. I'm no whore though.", she leans even more to me placing her hands on my chest and coming to an eye level with me.
"You are still not a pariah, you know? They make you believe it but to make sure you get this right: I am your caretaker. This means I am in charge of your blood intake and, as long as the others don't decide you are worth to be rehabilitated, you are at my mercy.", she moves forward to sit on my lap and wind her legs around my waist. I'm not sure what to think about that, but I won't push her away until I find out. My arms rest on her thighs. "I saw your disgust when it comes to the animal blood.", she grins and I roll my eyes. If it's necessary I will drink whatever I need.
"I should prepare you for your new diet, but actually, I like your body the way it is.", she slightly squeezes my chest, before moving her arms up around my neck. Her look drills into mine as I'm still trying to figure out what this is all about. Taking me by surprise she crashes her lips against my sore ones and I flinch before I push her away forcefully.
Bloody hell, what does she think she is doing here? Looking at her shocked face first I move my fingers up to my lips and can feel her blood there. She must have bitten herself to feed me. My eyes flash up at the thought of fresh blood from another vampire instead of animals.
She can't have mine. I'm confused, though at the reaction my body seems to show. My tongue testingly tries to get to the blood she left on my lips and I keep looking at her. Blood. It starts to blur my mind slightly. I want more. She gets to her feet and looks down on me. My heart betrays my basic instinct to heal my body. Another irritated feeling underneath as something just moved in my lap.
This time she comes closer far slower, sitting down once more without breaking eye contact. "I don't demand your blood, but if you want mine, you will get it. Just take it...", she slightly opens her mouth breathing out the sweet scent of fresh blood. "Trust me, I'll enjoy this as much as you do. Take my blood,... take me,...", she whispers calmly and I feel somehow torn apart. I can't say it's a heart against the head decision. It's more of an instinct fighting with knowledge.
This is for sure the easiest way to heal and get back to full strength, but I don't know how Tristan will react if he finds out. Is the price for that really worth it? Before I could agree or refuse she once more presses her mouth against mine and I start sucking in whatever she gives me. My body demands blood, and she is willing to give it to me. Her fingers combing through my hair and all I can think of is the blood and that I want her to be Tristan. I can feel her rubbing her breasts against my chest and pressing her hip against my abdomen.
Her tongue is playfully licking along my lips and over the leather straps that keep me from taking her in. I see why she doesn't want me to open my mouth more than the limited space this cruel gag gives me. She pretends to be in control. As if those little straps would keep me under control in any way. The cool wall in my back is a flagrant contrast to the warmth radiating body on my lap. It is clear that she enjoys my sucking. A shiver running down her spine, where I started to hold her.
When Naveena breaks away my mouth is smeared with her blood and she grins foolishly like a drunk. Just gazing at her bloody lips I can feel that her hands are wandering down from my neck to my chest. Not going to happen, my deer. I grab her wrists and release a silent growl. If that's a part of the deal, we just got a problem.
Instead of pushing further she just places a soft kiss on one of my hands obediently, her eyes only half open, somehow lost in unfulfilled lust. "They still say you are not a warrior, but you know what? Lyall is not only mad at you because of the trading part, he is afraid of you.", she says and I release her wrists to let her get up on her feet.
I lean my head to the side quizzically. Of course, there is more to it. There are a bunch of beasts out there who are either mad because of what I did to Maria, or of the fact that Tristan will start a war when someone manages to kill me. He unknowingly made sure that they hate me for the single reason that I can't simply get executed like everybody else.
Let alone the beasts I already spotted that are here because of me. Lyall is not afraid of me, he is afraid of what my existence and presence mean. "You are a threat to Etain, Ethan and I love to see her sweat.", she grins wolfishly at me. Etain? Alright, I have no clue why I should be a threat for Etain; at least not more than to everybody else.
Unfortunately, she just keeps on smiling before picking up the skinned hare and the fur. "I need to bring these back.", a look at me while I wipe my face in a bad attempt to clean myself makes her giggle silently. "I'll also bring some water for you to clean.", with that, she leaves me alone in the room.
I lay down on the floor trying to relax my still sore muscles; maybe also my uneasy mind about what I obviously just started and agreed to. I tried everything to keep Tristan away from me, but I wouldn't want to hurt him that way. Would he understand or am I just really that kind of rotten I told him? She basically subordinated to me, right? Why not take advantage of her?
Closing my eyes for a moment I remember about his reactions when it came to Henry. I will use Naveena's offer to finally get that substance out of my system. I can already feel that the little amount of Tristan's strong blood and now Naveena's blood helped far more than all that human blood before and as long as Naveena is not trying to drink from me, everything is fine.
Here are my priorities: Never giving up. Protecting Tristan. Protecting Nora. Surviving. No matter how, but I need to talk to Lyall as soon as they let me open my mouth again. He'd be eager to listen to me if he'd know what I want to tell him, but I need to play along with their rules now.
I will be reborn as a beast, to get rid of the monster I was, Tristan.
Ethan, the butcher will be truly what I am. We will see if that's the partner you still want.
***
I mess up his golden hair as he sits at the eating table and I can't deny that he grew to a handsome guy. I can only imagine the girls turning their heads in the village when he comes to do his weekly groceries. Good thing he doesn't know that the money he uses is paid with blood – not mine, but one of my victims. I'm a killer and thief, but I'm also a father.
Now that Tobias is grown enough to be seen as a man, I can take longer routes to travel and ease my bloodlust. He still doesn't know what I really do but thinks I am out to do work. At some point he of course started to question why he is different. Can you believe it? Gwen and I are the monsters and he was mad at the world that he is not like us.
I nearly told him the truth, just not all of it. He is all I ever needed in my life, no matter what happens. He isn't an easy teenager, but a very talented one. He mastered the bow pretty fast as a child and I started to teach him more about the only things I knew.
Hunting, fighting and some survival skills like what to eat and what not. That part always scared me a bit, because I didn't taste anything that he cooked, but just ate it. I pretend to like whatever he serves me. Somewhere along he concluded that I would eat a piece of coal as long as it makes him happy. Clever boy. Gwen didn't show up for several years and I'm not too sad about it. I'm happy that she doesn't pretend to be a mother anymore when all she wants is his blood.
"What are you doing there?", I want to know, seeing him try to hide something.
"Nothing.", he answers quickly and I smirk. "Come on, show me...", I lean in and he turns away. "It's not ready yet!", he blushes. "Something for a girl?", I whistle behind his back and that's when he gets angry. I know he is not of my blood but he definitely got the same temper.
"As if you'd know a thing about girls!", he snaps at me and I sigh. "Well, I seduced your mother, right?", I smirk. Not really, but who cares. I don't want him to have secrets or feel like hiding from me would be a solution. "Yeah, sure... that was about a thousand years ago and we both see how good that worked out.", he gets up.
"You better think twice what you say. After all, I'm the one who raised you and make our living possible.", I tell him not hiding my distaste of his tone. He snorts. "That's not living, that's hiding. The only thing you can is to hide, play with the damn fiddle and kill some animals. You just don't want me to outgrow you!", throwing the words at me he storms out of the house. The piece of wood he was working on falls down to the floor. I can't follow him. It's nearly noon.
I pick up the little figurine and can see that he started to carve a rabbit out of it. It's a bit crooked and definitely not ready. I look at it sunken in thoughts. Gwendolyn loved rabbits. She never allowed me to kill them. Oh yes, I also taught him how to play the fiddle and sing to it. When he was younger it was easier to entertain him. I sigh.
A few minutes later I hear a scream outside the cabin and my heart skips a few beats out of anxiety. "Tobias!", I scream but there is no answer. Silence. I scream his name again, and again starting to pathing in front of the open door testingly reaching out my hand into the sun and burn it badly. A growl of pain but I try to look outside, to see him and know he is okay. Nothing.
Why doesn't he give me an answer!?
***
I didn't sleep this day. Just starring out of the entrance of our main cave I still can't believe how oblivious and stupid I've been. Trusting a guy I barely know, just because he shows the right symptoms to be one of us. Etain tried to warn me, but after our first meeting and the fight, I really felt connected with this damn city vampire. Ethan, fucking, Vinge. Who would have guessed that he causes so much trouble within our rows?
"Lyall, did you listen?", Etain wants to know and I move to face her. "Huh?", when did she start talking to me? She rolls her eyes. "You heard about what happened yesterday. What do you think about the ferret's reaction?", she wants to know sitting down next to me and watching the sunset from afar. Being in the shadows doesn't mean we can't get a glimpse of light now and then.
"What does it matter what I think. That situation is totally messed up. Naveena already worried me before. It didn't get better... How is Maria?", I take a look at her and she sighs. "I'm not entirely sure. Her body is completely healed, but how to heal a soul? He just ripped out a piece of her being.", she answers wrinkling her forehead. "I never had to deal with someone like her. Tristan's influence on Ethan must be pretty strong to interrupt him from eating her soul only with some sharp words."
"Maybe, but he is not here now. Maria told me about the things he did to her husband. Lyall, this man is a monster in wolf's clothing.", she shakes her head in disgust. "It wasn't just a straight cut with every limb as he made us believe with his little speech. You saw the fire in his eyes, the pure bliss when he hurt her and broke her bones."
I snort. "Don't make a mountain of a molehill. We knew that he's dangerous, I just didn't count in the connection he shares with Tristan or that he will get banned here." She nods and gets up. "However, there is work to do.", she says before heading out and prepare whatever needs to be done today.
I also get out starting my watch but don't come too far as Connor is approaching me. "Lyall...", he starts his request and I nod. All these fights lately are tiring. It is as if nobody knows their place anymore or needs to make sure not to get betrayed. The atmosphere definitely got darker since the banning ceremony.
We are heading back together into the main cave. I remember that Ethan told me that he never sleeps in and just as this thought strikes my mind I can see him coming from the tunnels. Some other are also already around. "Butcher, where's your caretaker?", his head turns around to look into the tunnels. Naveena slips out of the shadow clutching Ethan's arm. With a growl and a sharp pull, he gets rid of her arms that were searching for his affection.
Poor girl. "I demand a fight for the attack yesterday.", Connor grins at Naveena. She gulps and I nod. Both of them follow me outside when I snarl a "Granted." Ethan is silently following, but I can see that he is about to assess the situation. There is this thing about being a caretaker: you also have to control the one you take care of, or you'll have to face the consequences. Naveena will have to fight for Ethan's failure to beat Connor.
Connor sometimes really is an asshole but Ethan is still not rehabilitated and I think Naveena was handling it quite well before he showed up. I ignore his questioning look. He'll see on his own. Naveena is not allowed to refuse the request and to be honest, I'm not allowed to do that either, without a really good reason. Weakness doesn't count. That's also why there are usually only the stronger ones who volunteer as caretaker.
"Alright, here are the rules: Nobody is allowed to interrupt the fight or helping one of the opponent's. The fight is over when one is unconscious or gives up. Set the case Naveena gives up, Connor will become the new caretaker of Ethan." No reaction on the butcher's face.
Interesting.