I awaken from a night of vivid dreams due to the terrible beeping of my alarm clock. I look to my bed side table to check what time it is. The clock reads 7:00 am.
A little bit more sleeping in wouldn't hurt would it?
I reach over and lightly push down on the "sleep" button on my alarm clock.
I don't have enough time to start dreaming in my sleep, but I still do have a bit of time to get some extra rest, so I close my eyes and feel my body relax into slumber.
After what feels like two seconds since I tried to go back to sleep, the sound of the alarm repeatedly beeping wakes up making me frustrated as hell.
"Ugh," I sigh as I pull the warm blankets off my body, sending shivers down my arm because of the cool air.
My eyes move to the glowing red numbers on my alarm clock. 7:40 am it reads.
7:40 am? I'm going to be late for school!
School! I totally forgot about school! There's no way I can go. My ass is going to get kicked. Everyone will think I'm a loser. I have to figure out a way to not go.
I check my phone. I notice a text message that must have been sent while I was half asleep.
From Lexi:
Hey loser! Can't wait till you come to school today so me and everyone else can kick your ass! See you there! xoxo
I couldn't go. No way. If I told my mom about this, I could probably stay home another day at school, but I know for a fact she'd tell my teacher or principal who would get Lexi and her group into trouble, which of course would make me look like more of a loser for "tattle tailing."
I guess I would just have to come up with a different way to stay home from school.
I could skip I guess. But then my mom would know because the school would contact her. I can't fucking win.
I sigh deeply and decide to forget about it for now and put some clothes on.
I open my closet and pick out my Pierce The Veil shirt, and a pair of black jeans.
Did I mention Pierce The Veil was the greatest band out there? Because they are.
Vic Fuentes is my hero and my only goal in life is to go to warped and meet him one day.
Looking at the shirt makes me feel the need to listen to some of their music, so I grab my phone and shuffle their "Collide With The Sky" album.
The song "Hold on Till May" comes on.
This song is quite relevant in my life right now since I attempted at suicide in May. I swear I didn't "plan to do it" in May just so it would match the song, it just so happened that I tried in May.
I listen to the lyrics flow out of the speakers of my phone. Instrumental wise, I never thought Hold On Till May was that great, but lyric wise, it was probably the most beautiful song ever created.
I get to the part where Vic "sings" to Lindsey Stamos and she sings back.
If I were you, I'd put that away
See your just wasted and thinking bout' the past again
Darling you'll be okay
And she said
If you were me, you'd do the same
See I can't take anymore
I'll draw the shades and close the door
Everything's not alright
And I would rather...
The guitar solo plays, and being the loser I am, I play air guitar to it.
I can be funny sometimes.
By the time the song finishes, I am done putting on my clothes, and I walk to my mirror to do my hair and make up.
Whenever I do my make up for school, I tend to try to make it look like I'm giving a "fuck you" vibe.
To get this look, you just basically wear really dark make up on your eyes, and a bit of red lipstick.
I grab my liquid eyeliner and begin to line the skin just above the lash of my eyelid.
I mess up near the end, so I lick my finger to try to wipe it off, but end up smudging it instead.
Damn it.
I decide to just move on to eyeshadow. I take the foam applicator in my hand and rub it along the powder, then move it across the lid of my eye.
It doesn't look that bad.
I finish the look off with two coats of black mascara and I have finished my make up for the day.
I don't do anything with my hair other than quickly brush it because my hair is naturally straight. I guess that's kind of a perk for me.
When I finish my hair, I walk down the wooden stairs to make myself some breakfast.
I open the kitchen cupboard and pull out a box of cinnamon toast crunch. My favorite.
I grab a small bowl and some milk out of the fridge and make a bowl of cereal. Gourmet right?
Lastly, I get a spoon from the drawer and begin munching on my cereal.
The sound of my mother typing on her laptop from across the table surrounds my ears along with the cereal disintegrating in my mouth.
"Can I please stay home from school just one more day?" I ask my mother, knowing with the answer will be, but still being hopeful.
"Kelsey, you've already missed 6 consecutive days of school, absolutely not," my mother answers exactly what I thought she would answer with.
I know how stubborn my mother is, and when she says no to something, the answer is no.
I sigh. I don't even bother finishing my cereal. My stomach is too full of anxiety to have room for another bite.
"Aren't you going to finish that?" my mother asks.
"No," I reply.
She sighs. I guess she also doesn't feel like starting a conflict either.
I take my bowl to the garbage can and scrape what's left of my cereal into the garbage.
I decide to go back upstairs to watch some netflix.
I jump onto my bed, open my laptop, and click on netflix so I can watch an episode of one of my favorite shows; freaks and geeks.
I don't even know why I like the show so much, but I think that's it's because I relate to Lindsey a lot. Whenever I'm in a social situation, I feel exactly like her; when I'm taking to someone I can't tell if they like me or are just fake "liking" me to make fun of me. Most of the time it's probably fake liking me.
The sound of the theme song, "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts plays.
I don't give a damn bout' my bad reputation
The electric guitar and drums play really loud, and being the loser I am, I shake my head violently to the beat.
You're living in the past it's a new generation.
The theme song continues to play and the episode called "Discos and Dragons" starts.
James Franco's beautiful face pops up on the screen of my laptop. Another great reason to watch Freaks and Geeks.
Once I finish the episode, I check the time.
8:30 am.
Already running late for school. Oh well. It's not like I care anyways.
I walk downstairs.
"Mom?" I call. No answer. She must have left for work.
Since she left, I grab my lighter and a cigarette.
I cup my hands around the cigarette and roll my thumb against the lighter to make a flame ignite.
I inhale the fumes. I have asthma so it's a bit harder to smoke, since I already have bad lungs, but the smoke calms my nerves from anxiety, which makes it worth doing.
I sigh, opening the door of my house knowing what hell I am going to have to experience today.
I slowly walk off the steps. Luckily, since I am late, I won't have to experience the torture first thing, since I'll just get a slip and head into class. It's not like they could do anything too mean, since there are teachers in the room.
After around 5 minutes of walking, I am at the front doors of the school.
Well, here goes nothing.
I head to the office, knowing that I will obviously need a late slip.
I go up to the secretary's desk. She doesn't notice me for a few seconds because she is typing something up on the computer.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"Uh yeah can I get a late slip"
"Sure," she replies getting out a pad of yellow printed sheets.
"What's your name?" she asks.
"Kelsey"
"Why are you late?"
I think of a good excuse. Not wanting to go or watching netflix for to long probably wouldn't suffice.
"Uh I slept in"
"Okay. Don't do it again"
"Okay", I reply and grab the slip leaving the office.
I open my locker to put my backpack away and check my schedule. My first class is woodworking. Fucking great.
I didn't actually put woodworking as my elective, I put graphics as my first choice, but apparently, there was "too many people taking the course" so they picked 5 random students to be put in woods instead. And of course, being the most unlucky person ever, I was one of the five.
The only good thing about it was that Cassie was in it with me. I knew the only reason she took it was because Sid was taking it, but she'd never admit it to me.
I close my locker and go to the basement of my school, which is where all the shops courses are located.
I finally get to the large room, and take a seat next to Cassie.
The second I walk in, every eyeball in the room is locked on me. This is exactly what I feared would happen.
I try to avoid the stares, by looking down at the ground, but I can feel their pupils burning into me like fire.
I feel my cheeks heat up, so I try to hide my face in my dark brown hair.
"Kelsey Winters, you are late," Mr. Botching says.
"Sorry," I mutter.
"Okay well since we had to wait so long for you, we can finally get started"
Wow, even the teachers at this school hate me.
I feel a glare being directed at me. I turn around and immediately regret looking.
It's Lexi.
She gives me an evil smirk. That "you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into" look.
I decide to look away and talk to my friends.
"Hey," I say to Sid and Cassie.
"Hey," they say in unison.
"I told Sid about what happened. He promised to not tell anyone. Besides we're all good friends right?" Cassie says.
I sigh. I wish she hadn't told Sid, but what am I gonna do.
"Oh," is all I say.
"Why would you do it?" Sid asks, making me feel very uncomfortable.
"Look, can we talk about this later? People are starting to look." I say.
"Oh sorry, I shouldn't have asked anyways," Sid says.
"It's fin-"
"Kelsey! You already showed up late and now you are talking in class?! Do it again and you'll be in detention after school!" Mr. Botching interrupts.
"Anyways! So today we will be started a new project in which we will create a small wooden toy car. The first step in making this is to draw your design blueprint. I have already made an example one for you. Would anyone volunteer to cut it out?"
There is silence when no one volunteers. Until the last person I would ever want to hear speaks up.
"Kelsey should do it! She's a great cutter! You should see her wrist!" Lexi says
The entire class gasps. I am at a loss for words.
"You bitch!" Cassie says.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sid asks
I don't say anything. I can't sit any longer in this class. I take my jacket and run right out of the room.
"Hey get back here!" Mr. Botching says.
I don't care. I need to get out.
I run through the halls, not noticing what's in front of me until a body brushes against mine.
I look up and see a young man in his late 20's. My English teacher, Mr. Hudson. I'd never tell anyone, but I've always kind of had this weird crush on him. But he's my favorite teacher and basically the only one I get along with so we talk quite a bit.
"Kelsey! I didn't notice you there. Are you okay? You look a little down," he says.
"I'm uh okay I guess," I reply.
"Do wanna talk about it? I'm on my break so we can go to my office and talk if you want." He says. I guess he could tell I want doing too great.
"Uh sure," I say, giving him a small smile.
"Okay"
I follow him into his office or my english classroom.
"How are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm fine"
"I noticed you weren't here for the last couple of days. You were in the hospital am I right?"
I don't respond for a few seconds.
"Uh yeah"
"Was that group being mean to you again?" he asks. He knows about my problems more than most people. It all started when one day as I was handing my English paper in, he noticed my self harm scars and asked me about them after class. We talk every now and then.
"Yeah," is all I say.
He sighs.
"Well I could say something but I know you'd never let me do that. Do you wanna talk about it?"
I don't say anything.
"Why did you leave your other class?" he asks.
Since we are close, I tell him what happened.
"I know that I could get into a lot of trouble for saying this, but I trust you, so I'm going to say it. Lexi is a bitch, and you shouldn't believe a word of what she says about you," he says.
I laugh.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," I respond.
"Good"
Just as he says that, I hear the lunch bell ring.
"Okay well, have a good lunch. If you need to talk, I'm here," he says with a smile.
"Thanks Mr. Hudson. You have a good lunch too."
"Bye Kelsey"
I leave the English room and walk to the lunch room. This is where the hell begins.
I find Cassie and Sid waiting for me at the end of the cafeteria line up.
"Hey, just ignore Lexi. She's just a stuck up bitch who makes fun of nice people for her own entertainment." Cassie says.
I give her a sad smile.
I grab a red tray, place it on the table and look at the meal of the day; chicken fingers and fries.
I raise my tray up when the cafeteria lady puts a serving onto my plate.
Me, Cassie, and Sid pick a table far away from Lexi and her clique of sluts so we don't have to deal with them.
"How do you get away with not eating Cassie?" I ask.
"Well here, I'll show you" she responds.
She starts chopping her chicken fingers and asks many questions such as "how was your day?" or saying things like "mmm this food tastes amazing, try some from my plate" and she'd put a bit of her food onto my plate. Whenever we'd start to question her she'd just keep asking more questions. It was fascinating but sad at the same time.
She finally finished "eating by scraping her plate of food onto another to make it unnoticeable.
"Well you should at least eat something" said Sid.
"No, I'm fine," she replied.
Sid frowned.
"Hey everyone look the loser Kelsey is back!" I hear a voice say. Lexi.
I turn around to a group of three girls, or should I say the three most popular and slutty girls in the school. They were the wannabe Lexi's, Selena and Kyla.
"Have fun staying home and crying because of how much of a worthless bitch you are? Did you miss me? I bet you sure did" she says.
I try to ignore her, but I can't.
"Everyone here hates you. Didn't you realize it yet? You don't belong here. Even your own dad left you because your so stupid."
That's it. I take my tray of food, including my drink and ketchup and throw it at her.
She screams.
"YOU BITCH!" she says and throws a punch at my face, causing me to fall down. She punches and slaps me around three more times. I black out for a few seconds. She finishes me by spitting in my face.
"THATS WHAT YOU GET BITCH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS SHIRT WAS? IT WAS 160 FUCKING DOLLARS AT ARITZIA! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" she says.
She walks away with her little clique of fake friends. I can't believe this. I am fucking done with life and high school.
Cassie grabs a napkin to wipe the spit off my face, and Sid lifts me up off the ground.
"Kelsey, I'm so sorry," she says.
I don't say anything. I'm no where near fine even.
I take the napkin and wipe Lexi's saliva off my face. Gross.
"I'm sorry, I can't be here any longer today guys. I'm leaving." I say.
"Do you want us to ditch with you?" Sid asks
"No I'll be fine" I say
"Okay. Don't get hurt or anything," Cassie says.
"Yeah I won't," I say.
"Bye," they both say.
"Bye," I respond.
I open the doors of my high school. I need to get out somewhere. I just don't know where.
Suddenly, I have a great idea.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, and dial the number Tate gave me yesterday. I know we didn't know each other very well, but I didn't have anyone else to do something with right now.
I hear a few rings until someone picks up.
"Hello?" I hear a male voice answer.
"Tate?" I say
"Yeah who's this?"
"It's Kelsey"
"Oh hey Kelsey!"
"Hi. Um I was just wondering if you were free like right now."
"Aren't you in class right now?"
"Uh well I kinda ditched"
"Oh okay. Haha. Then sure. Where are you right now. I'll come pick you up"
I give him the address of my high school.
"Okay great see you there!"
"Yep. Bye"
"Bye"
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Hey guys. It's like 1 am and I'm trying to make a chapter. But whatever.
Hope you like this chapter. I also added cast members. Yayy.
So I will briefly explain them right now:
Kaya Scodelario- Kelsey: she plays Effy in skins and she is exactly who I picture Kelsey as.
Evan Peters- Tate: bc he plays tate in ahs lol
Kate Mara- Kelsey's mom: she plays Hayden in ahs but Kelsey has a really young mom so I just picked her.
Dylan McDermott- Dr. Harmon: same as ahs lol
Sasha Pietreise- Lexi: she plays Alison in pretty little liars and since she's kind of a bitch character I think it fits well.
Hannah Murray- Cassie: as in Cassie from skins generation one haha
Mike Bailey- Sid: as in Sid from skins generation one
Thanks for reading! xx
Instagram: ahsmurderhouse