Chapter 17
The Wounded Sailor
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
- Pablo Neruda, If You Forget Me
ADAM
Her wide eyes were set on me from across the room. The awe on her face warmed my insides. I forgot everything that was wrong and broken in that moment, and the music took over my senses.
I played every note for her, sang every word to her.
It was easy, for my music had been about her for a long time.
Did she even realize that she was giving me a huge, dazed smile as she swayed slightly with the rhythm?
If I knew my music would have that affect on her, I would have used it to win her long ago.
But now it was too late. I had wasted all my chances, and I didn't feel like trying anymore.
I had broken a strong chain the evening before, and though I was still tangled head to toe in it, I had the hope to be free. I could untangle and break free if I tried hard enough.
I was the wounded sailor on the verge of death, who didn't want to see the shore even if he could try and steer the ship. I wanted to die in the empty waters which had become so familiar, it started feeling like home.
I pulled away from the dark thoughts when the guys joined in on the last chorus and chanted along with me. One of them started to show off, adding an impromptu solo and all of us followed suit. Soon we started goofing with different riffs and beats, and something new fluttered in my chest. A feeling of belonging. Something I hadn't felt in a long time.
Maybe I didn't have to die in the dark waters. Maybe I had found people to pull me out – to show me a new way of life. It felt natural, almost like I belonged with the band.
When someone started clapping from the far end of the room, a curious silence descended. The guys stilled, and their mouths dropped open when the beautiful girl started walking forward. I waved, another wave of happiness surging through me when I saw her.
Alana walked in like she owned the place, greeting everyone with a wide smile. Her brother followed close, his back stiff, head lowered, and face hidden inside a hood.
She broke the silence, "Is there anything you can't do, Adam Ross? Now I regret letting you go so easily last night." she added a playful wink.
My eyes shifted to Ev, my ears heating up. Her eyes were on the new comers, a slight frown between her brows.
Alana read me a bit too easily. A sudden glint entered her eyes as she put two and two together. Her smile turned brighter when she turned to Ev.
I jumped down, and ran to her without losing a moment.
We didn't want Kaya-part two, did we?
"Alana, what a pleasant surprise!" my voice came out in a high squeal as I pulled her into a tight hug. She laughed, her body shaking in mirth.
Somewhere behind me, I heard a soft gasp. The hairs on the back of my neck stood, my skin prickled.
It was Déjà vu all of a sudden. I had been as attuned to Evelyn Price when I first met her, as I was today. She had taken over my life then, and still had the reins without even knowing it. And it was me who had given her so much power. I had to put a stop to this unhealthy one-sided obsession.
A thought crossed my mind and I made a split second decision to do something crazy.
"Please just go with this," I whispered in Alana's ear and placed my lips over hers.
Alana clamped her mouth shut and pulled back immediately, eyes blazing, "Oh, don't try to smother me, sweetheart," she smiled, the fury in her eyes reserved just for me. "I didn't come here because I missed you. My parents have high suspicions about this sudden meeting you have with my little brother," she barred her teeth at me.
She wanted to kill me for sure.
"I swear my intentions are honorable," I crossed my heart and turned to the boy who lingered several steps behind. "Hey Cole, what's up?"
Colin looked at me from under his bangs, and lifted his hand in greeting. His face a mask and voice gruff, he asked, "Are we going to talk right here?"
"Nah, I thought we could go out and grab something to eat. What do you say to that?" I walked closer to him and held out a hand.
The familiar mischievous glint entered his blue eyes when he shook my hand, "Are you taking me on a date, twenty-seven year old Adam? I would say yes, but you just kissed my sister. I'm not sure how that's gonna work," he smiled. Evelyn started coughing, and muttered something under her breath.
My lips started twitching when I heard a dramatic, "Oh no, look how late it is, Trinity! Mom must be waiting for us! We should get going."
What was that? Was she... jealous?
I turned my head to see her get down on her knees. "Oh look at the dirt on your dress!"
She took the longest time to dust Trinity's dress then started to tie Noah's shoe laces like they were the most difficult puzzle on earth. Every person in the room had their eyes on her, and she didn't even realize it. She kept on talking to the kids, and half of the things made no sense.
Something like hope started fluttering inside me. I almost let down my barriers. That was till my brain sent off warning bells. I was quick to recover. I'd had enough of playing guessing games.
Pulling myself out of the trance, I gave Colin a playful punch on the stomach to get his attention, "Whatever floats your boat, kid. Alright let's call this a date if you want but don't get your hopes up. I'm still straight."
Colin let out a highly exaggerated whoop, and gave me a sly smile, "Like I said, you'll never know till you kiss a –
"Stop it Cole, that line of yours is getting so clichéd that it makes my ears burn," Alana hissed under her breath. Then she crouched beside Ev and smiled at the kids, "Hi guys, you must be Trinity and Noah. Your uncle told me all about you. I am Alana Scott, his new friend, and that's Colin my little brother. He is also your uncle's new friend." she extended her hand.
The kids shook her hand like pros then shook hands with Cole. They looked at Alana's face thoughtfully for several moments before Noah spoke up, "You are so pretty. Are you Uncle Adam's girlfriend?"
He was smiling at her like he'd ask her to be his girlfriend anytime.
"Uh... no –
"Not yet." I interrupted her.
Alana snorted and made a face.
Colin chortled, and stepped back to smother his laughter.
My heart jumped to my throat when Alana turned to smile at Ev, "And you must be Evelyn. I'm Alana. I'm pretty sure you got that by now."
Ev's first reaction was to glance at me, as if asking me what to do. I walked away, pretending to check out the selection of drum sticks on a glass case.
"H... Hi! Nice to meet you. Uh... but... how did you... I mean how do you know me?" I heard her ask softly.
"Oh that's easy. I saw your picture on the website." Alana replied with a laugh. "Don't look so spooked, Evelyn. I just read all your stories."
"You do!?"
"Each one of them. I never miss any of yours or Adam's stories on the magazine. It's so great to finally meet you in person. I feel like I already know you." Alana was bustling with energy. I turned to find Ev's wide eyes on me. I held back my smile and looked around the room, refusing to help her like she wanted me to. All the guys were standing awkwardly around the room, eyeing Alana from the corner of their eyes. They were all waiting to be introduced.
"I don't know if this sounds creepy but I always felt a personal connection to you," Alana continued, demanding Ev's attention. "Miss Cranks and her annoying little brother are me and Cole in real life." She reached out to ruffle Colin's hair, who dodged and walked towards me, shooting her a glare. "See, what I mean? Is your little brother like him too? I feel like like I already know him too!"
Evelyn turned pink. "I... I actually don't have a little brother," Ev replied hesitantly, scratching her arm, and looked up at Alana with wide eyes, "Actually I don't have any siblings. I'm an only child. Does that not make me a fraud?"
"What? Why would you say that? Your stories are genuine, funny and relatable. Kudos to you for capturing the dynamics of sibling relationships so well, even if you grew up as a single child. I'm sure you got your inspirations from somewhere. You are so damn good, Evie, and I love your dark humor. I recommended your stories to the teenagers at the orphanage, and they also love you. They say your humor helps them see the small things in the world in a different light. Your stories make them happier. The Cranks siblings are their favorite too!"
Evelyn stood there, her mouth slightly open, eyeing the other girl like she had grown two heads.
"And I just love how you've created these two characters from the nineteenth Century to tell the stories. It's such a witty form of storytelling."
"Two time-traveling siblings, who are shocked by today's society. It's a recipe for a best-seller." Kaya added, putting an arm around Ev's shoulder. "Don't you just wish she'd write a whole series of novels with Somerset and Fanny Cranks? They should find love, adventure, mystery and their happy endings."
Alana's eyes went wide, "Yes! Oh my god, that's exactly what I was thinking! Whoever you are, I already like you."
"Of course you do. Name's Kaya Stewart, I'm this future best-seller's soul sister, and the first love interest of Somerset. I'm the girl who breaks Somy's heart for that guy." Kaya winked, pointing her thumb towards Alex.
Alana squealed, jumping up and down, and waved at Alex. "If you're the first, can I be his last lover? Somy and Ally. Together Forever!"
Colin laughed beside me when Alana made a heart shape with her fingers and gave Ev the puppy eyes.
"Guys, stop it. You're making me blush. It's not that good!"
Kaya and Alana shared a look, and turned to Ev with identical flat looks. "So you're saying we're dumb for liking it? It's not just us, Evie! Every reader who ever wrote to you has told you the same thing. They love the characters and the stories. They want full stories!"
"Exactly." added Alana. "Evie, I know I'm practically a stranger, but trust me. You're a great story teller. Don't doubt it for even a second. You should write novels."
Ev looked between the two girls, and soon she was smiling. She stepped closer to Alana with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "Do you really think that will be such a good idea... considering most people think I'm a bitter bitch in her late forties, who lives with ten cats and hates everything in the world?"
"Who said that?"
"The hate mailers. Most people hate my bitter sarcasm, and these days I wonder if they are right. I'm turning into a bitter bitch for sure and forty would be here before I realize it." she winked.
Alana laughed.
"That's not true. Any person with brains will love your stories and the ones who don't, don't matter anyway. Stop reading the negative comments. Look at me, I never imagined you older than twenty five, and you look even younger. How old are you? If you don't mind me asking, that is." Alana asked, squeezing Ev's arm.
"Why would I mind? I'm twenty three."
"Really? Me too!" Alana squealed again. "Wow! Are you the same age too, Kaya?"
"Yep."
"So we grew up in the same town but never crossed paths. But how come you've been at VERVE for so long, Evie? I just started working full time last year."
They were going on and on, as if they wanted to become best friends in one evening.
Ev bit her lower lip, her skin flushing, "Uh... I actually dropped from University during my first year. I got so home-sick, I stopped taking care of myself. I got bed ridden with pneumonia during my second semester - almost died actually. So my parents brought be back home, and I never went back." She shrugged. "I'm trying to get a degree through an Open Uni, but haven't been able to concentrate on the assignments these days." She rubbed her arm, her voice dropping at the end.
"Who cares about a degree? You're already talented enough to have gotten a great job without it, and you're damn good at it."
Evelyn chuckled, "No. I got the job on recommendation. Zachary Reynolds is a family friend of sorts."
Alana's eyes widened, "Zachary? The infamous player? That hot dude who dated that supermodel and dumped her in a week?"
Evelyn laughed, "The one and only. Anyway, he is not that bad, kind of misunderstood I think. So yes, the same infamous guy had read something I wrote by accident when we were teenagers. He had teased and tormented me for months, and apparently, he hadn't forgotten about it."
"I'm sure he remembered lots of other things about you." Alana teased, wiggling her brows.
"Yeah, I'm sure he remembered it all. The frizzy hair, the braces, the ugly freckles, and all the baby fat." She rolled her eyes and they started arguing about Ev's looks. Then Alex stepped forward, and Alana introduced herself. After that everyone surrounded her and they talked for what felt like forever.
Colin sighed beside me, and moved to the stage to fiddle with the instruments, leaving me standing there, watching his sister make friends with everyone she had met. I couldn't really believe what I was seeing.
The guys left after a while, all of them a little awestruck. Alana continued with her non-stop chattering. She was now sitting on one of the chairs Alex offered, and the four of them sat there talking about random things, as if they were on a chat show. She talked about her work, then about books, history, music, movies, and even her dog.
What surprised me more than Alana's verbal diarrhea was Evelyn's out of character friendly behavior. To any outsider, it would look like she and Alana had been friends for years. She was telling stories after stories, trying to be funny, giggling and moving her hands animatedly. She was trying her best to please.
She started telling a story about one of the comments on her blog that called her an old lady with no sex life, and Alana went bonkers. "Never... never ever go to the comments section, Evie. Never!" she spluttered between hysterics.
"But the troll guy was so right – minus old lady and the cats that is!" Ev announced, wiping fake tears and leant in to whisper something to Alana.
Alana's eyes went wide when Ev pulled back, and both the girls had to hold on to each other for support as they laughed even harder.
I was still rooted on spot beside the drum sticks display. To be honest, I had started to hyperventilate by then.
No wonder I fell for her every time I tried to move on. She was amazing and funny and gorgeous and... she was just... my Ev. It felt so good to see her act like her old self, laughing, telling stories. Did I even need anything else in the world?
She suddenly turned in my direction, our eyes met and she didn't look away angrily this time. My heart thumped in my ears.
I walked towards them to touch Alana's arm.
"I think we should leave now. It's getting late and I made reservations," I said cheerily. Alana turned sharply, and stood with a curt nod. She hugged each one of her new friends and after making a promise to see them soon, and exchanging numbers, she stomped for the door, following her brother.
I almost ran after them after muttering something stupid about how girls feigned anger when they wanted you. Alex stepped forward and blocked my way, "If you want to join the band, you'll be here every day for practice after work." He thumped my back in a half hug.
"Yes sir!"
Kaya smirked, and before she started using her freedom of speech again I hugged her, "Please don't start again, Kaya. That was enough for one day."
"The look on your faces was so worth it." she replied with a tight smile.
I kissed her cheek and turned on my heels before sprinting towards the door. Alana was standing there, holding it open for me. I sprinted right past her.
"What was that?" Alana hissed, running after me.
"I should ask you the same question!" I slowed down to a brisk walk. Colin pushed open the main door, letting a blast of warm air enter the store.
I followed him, quickening my pace.
"Adam, stop running!" Alana opened the door and charged at me.
"I'm not running. I just want to go out and have some fun. We should do something together. Let's just get out of here and do something crazy. I know what to do. Let's have some spicy food. Then let's go dancing, or to the beach. Yep, that's perfect. Let's go skinny dipping. Or, we can ring doorbells and run. Can we go to a karaoke bar and sing silly pop songs too? Let's just-
I was cut off by a sharp sting on my cheek. I would have continued rambling on if Alana hadn't punched me on the face.
"Stop it!"
I clamped my mouth shut, my hand on my slightly throbbing jaw. Colin and I stood side by side, shuffling on our feet as she paced the pavement for what felt like forever. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" she roared, hands on her hips.
I shrugged in response like a petulant child, refusing to meet her eyes.
"This is killing you, damn it! Why are you ignoring her if it hurts so much, Ad?"
"Please don't call me that."
Alana stepped closer, and touched my arm. I pulled away, "Please, I beg you Ev... shit! Alana. Sorry. Please, let's just get away from here," I turned away from her. I kicked a stray pebble on the path which went flying and landed just below my car's tire, setting off the security alarm.
"Adam, you can't just -
"Leave the guy alone, Ally. You don't understand what he's going through. Come on Adam, let's go have some spicy food and sing karaoke," Colin came to my rescue. The alarm kept on blaring in the silent night.
I pushed the button to turn off the alarm and Colin pulled me by the arm towards the car. I let him pull me, the fight suddenly gone.
Alana followed us, dragging her feet on the pavement and all three of us stopped before my car.
"I'm sorry." I heard her whisper before I could say the same.
"Nah, I'm sorry for acting crazy." I said reaching into my pocket for a smoke. Alana raised an eyebrow and I stepped away from them, hiding in the shadows of the tall potted plant that was so fucking out of place in the otherwise bare parking lot. I chuckled dryly, pretty sure that it was Kaya who placed it there.
"She's beautiful!" Alana said after a while, sitting on my car's bonnet with her brother.
I smiled despite myself.
"You tell that to her and she'll never believe you."
Alana didn't reply. We stayed there in silence for a few more minutes, lost in our own thoughts.
Too soon, she broke it, "Adam, just hear me out alright?"
I blew the smoke into the cold night air, "I'm all ears."
"She'll come back to you. I know she –
She paused when I laughed.
"Why are you doing this, Alana? Didn't you agree to date me last night? I thought you wanted to try dating this fucked up guy. What happened to that? Scared now, are we?"
"Are you serious? You want to go there?" she hissed.
"Yes. Let's go there. I thought we were on the same page."
"We were... still are if you... but this is so... Adam, you don't..." she trailed off and studied me for a while.
"What? Look, are you in or not?"
A strange smile appeared on her face, "Okay, if this is what you want, let's do this. Pick me up at eight after practice tomorrow for our first date."
"Really? You're letting it drop that easily?"
She smiled wider, "Decide on one thing, Adam Ross. Do you want me to continue convincing you that you're being a fool, or do you really want to try and move on?"
I opened my mouth, but nothing but smoke came out.
Alana jumped from the hood, "Because frankly, I don't think you want to move on. You want to be convinced and reassured that your 'Ev' is dying to hug you. You want to hear from someone that she cares. You want to hurt her. Wasn't that why you hugged her friends and ignored her like she was invisible?"
"I didn't do it to get anyone's attention. And they are my friends too!" I said defensively, stubbing out the cigarette on the pot and threw it in a nearby bin.
Alana laughed dryly and was back with the lecturing mother stance, her hands on her hips, "Oh, so you weren't trying to make her jealous when you kissed me?"
"And look how well that worked! She was so jealous that she threw a fit. She hated you, didn't she?" I held her by the arms. "Look, I'm sorry I kissed you out of nowhere. I know that was selfish of me. I wanted proof that she wouldn't care, and obviously, she didn't give a fuck."
Her eyes narrowed, "And you're sure that she didn't give a fuck?"
"She practically became your BFF in front of my eyes. I haven't seen her talk to any stranger for that long. She literally bared her life to you. What other proof do you need?"
"Maybe there was some other reason for that. May be she didn't want to show her true feelings. May be she was being nice because she thinks you're crazy about me. May be she was nervous. You know what Adam, not everyone can wear their heart on their sleeve like you."
"Can we not do this now please? I opened up to you because I trust you, and I like you. Not so you play cupid." I begged.
"Okay, fine. I'll get going now and I'll wait for you tomorrow. Drop my brother home safely." She walked to her car. "And by the way..." she called out, turning around as she jabbed the key into the old car with a vengeance, "...didn't you come here to buy a guitar?"
I swayed where I stood.
"Oh shit, I completely forgot that the kids were in there. I didn't even... how could I?" I turned to run back to the store. "I'm so sorry guys, just give me a minute!"
"Maybe you just trust her a bit too much?" Alana's voice was full of sarcasm, and I halted mid-run. She walked back to her brother, and I stood there glaring at her. I couldn't even deny it. She was so freaking right. I trusted Evelyn Olivia Price with the most precious people in my life. I trusted her more than myself. The thought scared me.
I dashed into the store and stepped back when I came face to face with my doom and my savior. Her hazel eyes went wide, and for a moment I saw my reflection in them.
"Did you forget something?" she asked, her voice a croaky whisper.
I stared at her in disbelief for the longest moment, confusion, frustration, longing, love, anger, pain, every feeling conflicting within me. I looked away, turning to Alex who was carrying both Noah and Triny in each arm. The kids gave me tired, confused looks.
"Dude, we almost forgot the surprise."
Alex gave me a strained smile, "Come on, I had selected a few earlier. It's best if we let her choose."
We moved to the counter top when Alex had laid out about half a dozen tiny hollow guitars. I pulled Noah into my arms and the little guy yawned. Alex put Triny on a high chair. Her tiny eyes widened when I told her that she could choose any one of them.
"Can I touch?" she asked, turning to Ev.
"Of course, honey," she put an arm around my niece protectively. She even eyed me suspiciously from the corner of her eyes. I could tell that she didn't want to let them go home with me.
Alex held out each of them in front of Triny, and she moved her little hands over them. After she had touched all of them, she looked at me and said, "I like red one, Uncle Adam. It match my dress Evie got me at the mall," she said.
My breath hitched, "It's perfect, sweetheart."
Colin and Alana were standing where I left them when we stepped out. I started towards them but stopped when an UBER came to a halt before us. Ev stepped towards the car and she was carrying Triny & the small guitar case.
I stepped closer to her.
"Come on Triny, let's go. We'll have dinner with my friend then go home together," I said firmly, eyes on the little girl.
Ev stepped forward, "I promised Chloe I'd bring them home for dinner."
"Oh, will that be a problem kids? I'll just call mommy and let her know. I'm sure she won't mind that you are spending time with me, your uncle." I said pulling out my phone, refusing to meet her eyes. Triny looked between me and Evelyn, looking unsure. Noah started writhing in my arms and I had to hold tighter to keep him from slipping away.
What was I even doing?
"But you and Colin are going to talk about work. What will you do with them, Adam? They are already tired. They'll get bored and bother you," she tried again.
"My kids will never bother me. We'll order pizza and have lots of fun, right Triny baby? Do you ever get bored with your uncle? Never, right?" I said eyeing the UBER guy who was now glaring at me.
"We were planning on taking some pizza home too. Chloe is waiting for her dinner." Ev replied sounding exasperated. Now I was kind of enjoying the banter.
"Really? Why bother now right... kids? We'll take some pizza for mom and dad. Simple."
The kids hadn't uttered a word in return. Noah was half asleep, and Trinityy was giving me a disappointed look. Let's be honest, I was fully aware of my childishness. May be I wanted to provoke her, maybe I wanted to hurt her, maybe I was simply seeking attention.
"They are mine for the evening. I have their parents' permission. You can't take them away from me!" she stepped forward, now standing nose to nose with me. I couldn't avoid the furious eyes that sparkled with unshed tears. My breath caught in my throat. The brown of her eyes had gone paler, the green specks stood out brighter, challenging me.
I wasn't giving in.
"I can't?" I tilted my head, and those two words were enough. She crumbled before me, from determination to defeat in a second. Her shoulders slumped, and she turned away.
"Of course you can. You're their family. I just thought... well... just saw them after so long and..." she whispered, her lower lip quivering and her tears spilled.
Bravo Adam, you've broken her.
Was I supposed to feel victorious that I had finally broken that tough act of hers? That I made her cry? If so, why was I feeling like I was being stabbed in the heart?
"Uncle Adam's so mean! I go home with Evie." Trinity gave me an angry glare, and she had this defiant tilt to her chin like my sister-in-law, even as her lips quivering.
I wasn't her hero anymore.
"Triny..." I started, not sure what to say and she turned away in Evie's arms, putting both her arms around her neck, hugging her tight.
"No! You make Evie cry. I go with Evie! You make my Evie cry!" Triny cried and kissed Evie's cheeks. Even my niece was crazy in love with her.
"No honey, that's not true. Uncle Adam isn't being mean to Evie. He just loves you guys so much. He wants to spend more time with you," Ev said wiping her tears. She had a bright smile on her face when she pulled back to wipe Triny's tears.
"Uncle Adda and Evie had fight. He make Evie cry," Triny said giving me another dirty look.
"No honey, Evie is just being silly. She cries all the time. It's no big deal. Ask Kaya, she caught me crying so many times. I even cry watching movies," she kissed the top of her head tenderly. She couldn't hide her quivering lips, no matter how hard she tried.
I started saying the alphabets from back, anything to keep my shaking hands to myself. God, I wanted to kiss her like never before.
"Like Frozen?" Triny asked innocently.
"Yeah, I cried a ton watching Frozen. Can you believe that I even cried watching Minions?" she said with a childish pout and the little girl giggled.
"Minions so funny!"
I found myself smiling. I was confused as hell, my thoughts a blur. I knew I was trying to do something along the lines of moving on. Though I wasn't sure where I was even going with this moving on thing, when my life stood right before me.
"I'm sorry. You can take them home," I pulled open the car's door quickly - scared that I'd really kiss her. I put Noah in and kissed him goodbye. Triny crawled in beside her brother refusing to look at me.
"Triny, please say goodnight to your uncle," Ev said holding on to the open cab door. Triny peeked up at me and waved with a ghost of a smile.
Instead of getting in Ev looked back up at me, her eyes still sparkling with tears.
Before I could stop myself, I was reaching with the tip of my finger and stole a drop of tears from her lashes. Her eyes searched my face, and she was back to giving me that hazy look.
I stepped back from her - scared as hell. Never again.
"Please don't cry in front of them. You're a mess, and you know how kids can sense misery," I found myself saying coldly.
She frowned, blinked a couple of times. My words hit her slowly, and she smiled, swallowing the tears that had filled her eyes, "I won't disappoint you. Thank you so much for this." and with those words she turned and left.
She didn't glance back at me as the cab moved away. The kids laughed when she said something, jumping on the seat. Soon they disappeared out of my view.
If anyone's misery rubbed off on the kids all the time, it was mine.
"I should punch you right now, man. You shouldn't have done that to her." Alex's voice was heavy when he moved to my side and put an arm around me.
"But she deserved it, didn't she? This is the best game I've ever watched, better than reality TV actually. I wish I had some popcorn. She ignores you, you ignore her. She hurts you and you hurt her back, ping-pong, ping-pong. I wonder if anyone will ever win such a game without one killing the other at the end. At this rate, it might be a tie." Kaya whispered from my other side.