"Wake up."
"Come on. Michael's going to catch us if we don't leave."
Luke kept whispering in my ear trying to wake me. I eventually got enough energy to speak. Go away was all that came out. Luke groaned slightly. I was afraid he was getting angry , so I started to get up , but he had already lifted me from the bench. He then carried me bridal style to the cabin. A familiar feeling.
We were in the woods , so no one would be able to hear us. I knew now would be the best time to bring it up.Still half asleep , I asked the question that had been on my mind. The whole reason I came out here last night.
"Why did you leave?"
I asked. My words muffled by his chest. He asked me what I had said , so I lifted my head to look at him.
"Why did you leave?"
I asked a bit louder. Since I was already asking I might as well continue.
"We kissed and you just left. You never even said anything about it. You just left! I always thought of you as the kind of guy who would do that , but when I started talking to you-I thought you were actually a good person . I thought you would try not to hurt me. So , just tell me. What the hell is wrong with you?"
He stopped walking and helped me onto the ground. I had to tilt my head up to look at him because of the height difference. His eyes were filled with an emotion. It seemed to be sadness?
"I know you only kissed me because you were mad at Michael."
As soon as I heard those words my stomach dropped. I didn't want to admit it to myself , but he was right. Of course I didn't hate Luke , but I didn't really feel that way about him either. He could tell the guilt I felt by the way my expression of inquisitiveness and anger sunk down. I swallowed the lump in my throat and averted my gaze , that had fallen to the ground , back to his glistening eyes.
"It's fine. I'm fine. I totally understand how angry Michael can make someone. You'll do anything to make him just as angry. I've been doing it since 6th grade."
He etched on a small smile and we headed towards the cabin once again. The walk was uncomfortably silent. I wanted to speak to him , but I didn't know what to say. If he was upset with me , I wouldn't want to make it worse. If he wasn't mad , then apologizing would just seem ridiculous. He'd made his feelings so unclear , I really didn't know what to do. It'd be best to just leave it alone for now.
As I watched him walk like any human being , one foot in front of the other , he looked perfect to me. I began thinking. Even if he wasn't angry , I was still sorry. Pondering on the subject made my guilt stronger. Luke placed his hand on the door , but I grabbed his arm just in time. The feeling of regret making me nauseous. He quickly glancedbetween my small hand overlapping his and my eyes before I spoke.
"I'm sorry."
My voice surprised me. It sounded so weak and fragile in my mind , yet so sarcastic and rude aloud. Luke pulled the door open completely ignoring what I had said. Maybe it was because he didn't think I meant it. Maybe it was because he just didn't give a shit. We stepped in the door and there they were. Ashton and Calum lunged towards us frantically.
"Where the fuck were you guys?! Michael's going nuts! He thinks you and Luke snuck off to fuck in the woods."
Ashton whisper-shouted at the two of us.
"Why would he think that?"
I said defensively. I began babbling about how he was being an immature , overprotective control freak. Luke and Ashton chuckled and then Luke sighed. We all looked at him and saw how worried he seemed. Michael's shouts of anger then became louder and we knew why.
"We need a plan. Fast."
Ashton said shoving us into his room. We only had a few minutes to figure this out. We decided to tell Michael I was with Calum and fell asleep playing video games and left earlier this morning for a snack. Luke would tell him he was out in his secret spot where he always went at night. It wouldn't be very hard to believe since everyone already knew Luke disappeared in the middle of the night and that I was a Clifford. I could never have enough food.
Mikey caught us leaving Ashton's room and immediately began interrogating us. We told him the story and he seemed pretty convinced.
"But,wait. How do I know you didn't see each other?"
I stuttered looking at Ashton and Calum as they looked at me.
"I did see her. She was sitting outside the mess hall , so I just continued walking. I know not to come between her and her food."
We all sighed in relief. Luke just saved my ass. Even when he was pissed off he was still looking out for me. Or maybe he was just trying to protect himself.
Michael gave us a satisfied look and we all went our separate ways. Except for me and Calum. I gestured towards the other corner of the building with my eyes and he understood. I grabbed some clothes from the girls' cabin and then made my way down the dim , sun lit hallway. It lead to the far area of the cabins which was empty and only consisted of a single bedroom with a bathroom. The rest was just empty space.
I entered the bathroom and began getting undressed. Soon enough , there was a knocking at the door. Luke's deep voice whispered on the other side.
"Cal told me you wanted to talk. Are you dressed yet?"
I waited a few seconds before telling him I was. He slowly turned the knob to reveal me in shorts and a bra. He backed up , but I pulled him back in. He stumbled a bit and ended up pressed against me. We didn't talk , he just stared at my lips for a moment. I nodded to let him know it was okay , but he released me from his grasp.
"I don't want to be used , Diana."
I pressed my lips against his hoping he wouldn't reject. He didn't. Instead he pressed me up against the wall and we were back to where we were three days ago. Luke's tongue begged for access that I soon granted. As his tongue explored my mouth his hands traveled down my waist. I started pulling his shirt up , but he broke the kiss. His forehead was against mine as he spoke.
"We have to get ready for breakfast."
His voice was low and raspy from being out of breath. His eyes then got a little bigger, focusing on my hip. I looked down to see my tattoo was now in plain site. He pulled my shorts down just a little lower to see all of it. It was a lilac slice of pizza saying NO ACCESS with a signature from "C-Dizzle Dizzle" just below. I could tell he wanted to laugh at the horribly meaningless tattoo.
"It was Michael and Calum's idea. They tricked me into doing it when I was drunk one night."
"I like it. See you after breakfast."
He pecked me on the lips and left with a wink.
I knew my plan wasn't the best. I didn't even know if he'd actually forgiven me , but that was okay. Even if he didn't , at least I got to kiss him again. I'm not even sure why I needed a last kiss so badly , but I did. And now I had it.
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I felt my body roasting as I laid on the swim chair. It was way too hot to hide from the sun today so I was forced to actually wear a swimsuit.We weren't allowed to have electronics , so I was just listening to the sound of children screeching and water splashing. Suddenly , I felt the relief of shade. I opened my eyes slowly to let them adjust to the bright sunlight.
"I didn't know you even owned a swimsuit."
Michael joked as he sat at the edge of the chair. I groaned in annoyance while sitting up.
"I'm really sorry for being so protective lately. It's just , I know what he does to girls , and I don't want to see him do that to you. I know you're not dumb enough to fall for any of his games , though. I trust you."
I was still upset that he was acting like Luke was some kind of a monster , but he was my brother. I can't be mad at him forever. At least he's meaning to be helpful.
There was no need to accept his apology. He walked away and went back to joking with Ashton before I could even reply.Thirty more minutes until I could get out of this sun.I laid back down hoping the time would go by faster.
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Laying in my cold bunk felt so nice after laying in the sun all day.I had expected myself to fall asleep immediately , but of course I couldn't. It wasn't five minutes before Luke had snuck into the room and tapped me on the shoulder. He stood there with a goofy smile , as always , and two beach towels in hand. Once my eyes adjusted I saw he was wearing a blink shirt and his swim trunks.
"You up for a late night swim?"
I tittered and changed into my swimsuit as fast as I could. As soon as we got into the hall I heard Calum's voice.
"I'm not covering for your asses again unless you come back without a v-card!"
After flipping him off we made our way to the pool. For some strange reason I didn't feel very self-conscious with Luke. Probably because I didn't have time to think with him constantly tickling me. Out of breath from laughing , we laid on the concrete with only inches between us. As our lips inched closer , I jumped up from underneath him and jumped into the pool. I swam faster once he jumped in behind me. The only way to get away from him was to go underwater. I took a deep breath and lowered myself. Luke did the same and swam towards me , taking my hands . Watching him grin with his cheeks puffing out and his hair floatingin different directionsI couldn't resist letting him kiss me.
Needing air , we floated back up to the surface . We didn't swim or get out , we just stood there.
"Diana,you're so beautiful.You never did tell me why you won't let people see you in a swimsuit?"
"If this is you're way of getting me to have sex with you it's not going to work. I'm keeping my v-card whether Calum likes it or not."
I laughed at him before he splashed me.
"No,no.I mean it."
He sounded sincere. And telling him wouldn't hurt anything. So I told him why. It was a basic story ; I'm a girl, I don't like my body because I'm not the skinniest person alive , and I wouldn't have a problem with that if it weren't for every son of a bitch telling me how fat I am.
"Do you remember 6th grade when I was really chunky? People were always making fun of me because of it. Then in 9th grade I got really skinny and suddenly every girl loved me. All of these fake girls who had tortured me before. None of them gave a shit about me though. But you. You still teased me. You didn't treat me any different because you didn't care about how I looked. You were real. Those people who tell you you're not good enough;they're not. If you're body was any different I would treat you exactly the same. So would Michael , Calum , and Ashton. You're perfect the way you are and the people who actually care about you know that."
I remembered all of that happening to Luke and I remembered the look on his face when I would say something about it compared to when someone else would.He would just roll his eyes at me , but with other people he would just stay quiet with that hurt expression on his face. I began to apologize for all of it , but Ashton ran in the gate and started yelling at us to get out.
"Come on! We have a counselor meeting remember? You're the only two missing and I'm pretty sure Michael's ready to cut Luke's nuts off."
We jumped out of the pool and wrapped up in the towels trying to find a way to get out of this. But there wasn't one. We walked in and Mikey just glared at us both. The camp director looked a little disappointed as we stood there dripping water , but continued speaking. She was saying something about an activity for next week , but I wasn't listening. I was too busy thinking if I was angry with Mikey or sorry.
Sorry for Luke.