CHAPTER THRITY FOUR- Don't ever come back.
The moonlight was shining in thin small chinks through the half open curtains, thin rays of light wispy and small as they played out across the carpet in strange shapes casting out across the floor and reflecting onto my hand that was sprawled over the side of the bed my fingers curled up on each other as I came around. The first thing I did was smile as my senses regained and I realised I was awake and that it was Christmas Eve. Countering for how dark it was you wouldn’t believe it was almost five in the morning, but it was winter. Memories from last night came back and I smiled to myself, after the meal though, that was when my day got a whole load better, even if it was nothing special it was nice to just spend some time with Niall doing nothing in particularly but cuddling, talking and indulging in many of our infamous make-out sessions on the sofa. I still wasn’t sure whether I was more excited or nervous about going to Ireland with Niall today, last time with him there was amazing and his Mum and Brother were really welcoming but this time was different. This was Christmas and this was his whole family, most of them anyway.
Niall stirred a bit beside me moaning in his sleep as he slowly came around tossing and turning and then tightened his arm around my waist so close I couldn’t move. He hadn’t fully woken up yet so I took this opportunity to look at him and watch him wake up. Tracing my fingers up and down his stomach I saw a smile curl at the corners of his lips as he twitched slightly moving his hand underneath the covers and slipping it to my inner thigh rubbing it slightly causing me to shiver with craving for him. He’s definitely awake now.
“Mmm stop it.”
I moaned as he continued to trace his fingers up and down my inner thigh smirking as I said this he opened his eyes meeting mine but he kept his fingers there still moving them up and down but with just less motion now.
“Stop what?”
He asked smugly and I refrained an eye-roll, although I wasn’t sure it was even feasible when he had my stomach doing somersaults already with just the small motion of tracing his fingers against my skin in a very sensitive place.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
I retorted supressing a moan. Wow, he really had me going this crazy with this one small gesture, but it was not such a chaste one.
“No, I really don’t…Maybe you could educate me?”
He smirked now his fingers travelled higher resting playfully on my bikini line causing another prominent shiver to run through me.
“Y-You’re particularly cheeky for first thing in the morning…”
I breathed trying my best to seem unfazed by his ever travelling hands on my body making my skin tingle with each painted movement like a tiny brushstroke against a bare canvas, so smooth, soft and innocent, but at the same time so naughty, impure and cheeky. But then again, that was him all over, switching between personalities when in and out of public.
“Or…Maybe you’re just particularly a tease lying here in this..”
He suggested for a split second slipping his fingers underneath the materiel of my panties by my hip making me seriously flood with crave.
“Shut up all my other stuff was packed not my fault.”
I reasoned turning slightly to the side so my stomach was pressed against his side.
“I wasn’t complaining.”
He chuckled making a smile rise on my lips as I pressed them to his cheek and he then tilted my chin up kissing my lips instead sweet and soft for a few seconds.
“I love you.”
He breathed as his lips lingered on my jaw for a few seconds before pressing a few kisses to my neck leaving it tingling the same way his touch did. I smiled placing my palm flat against his chest feeling his heartbeat a little faster than usual as my fingers danced over his skin making him flinch which I of course enjoyed since he had been such a tease to me.
“I love you too.”
I replied without even having to think about it. It always had been crystal clear since the first time we exchanged those words last year that I loved him, a lot. He smiled heaving a light sigh as he shifted beside me hugging me closer to him as he resumed his fingers to my body but this time let them trace circles around my stomach and caress my skin with his thumb gently.
“I’m so glad you agreed to spend with Christmas with me.”
He grinned pressing a feathery kiss to my forehead as he used his other hand to run his fingers through my hair. I looked up at him rubbing my lips together and giving him a genuine smile which he was quick to return.
“Of course I did. I’m glad you asked me, even though I didn’t see it coming.”
“You didn’t? Harry was right,” He mumbled. “My hints were too subtle.”
“What hints?”
I asked furrowing my brow and he raised his eye-brows.
“Oh very funny.”
“I’m not being funny, what hints?”
“Okay so I’m bad at dropping hints, don’t expect to know about something before it happens in the future okay?”
“Okay.”
I giggled nuzzling further into his chest.
“I thought you didn’t like surprises?”
He questioned and I shrugged.
“You know well enough that in the end I don’t mind as long as they’re good ones.”
“Right, cus I have to be careful with you don’t I? Miss Particular…”
“Don’t call me that!”
I scolded giving him a playful nudge and he chuckled.
“Awh I’m sorry baby.”
He cooed affectionately and I rolled my eyes playfully.
“You’re an idiot.”
“I love you too.”
I rolled my eyes again but smiled again as he pressed his lips back to mine soft and warm. The buzz of my phone on the cabinet beside his bed brought us from our embrace and I pulled away reaching an arm over and holding my phone above my face as I unlocked it and searched for the cause of the vibration.
“Who is it?”
Niall questioned entwining his fingers with my free hand.
“My sister.”
I replied flatly in a this-is-not-surprising tone.
“Oh tell her I say hi.”
He smiled and I slid my gaze to his giving him a pointed look and he shrugged.
“What? I like El.”
“You like everyone.”
“That’s not true.”
He retorted furrowing his brow and I smirked.
“Almost.”
“Exactly almost, you know what almost means? It’s halfway there but it’s not all the way there, so therefore, I don’t like everyone.”
“Yes Niall, I know what almost means.”
“Oh yeah I forgot you have a much wider vocabulary and ridiculously better grammar than me.”
“Because I read,” I nodded curtly at him. “Maybe you should.”
“Nah I don’t read.”
“I know.”
I smirked setting my phone back down on the cabinet after typing my reply to Ellie. He wiggled his eye-brows at me in a rather adorable fashion so without thinking about it I rolled over so I was half on top of him and crashed my lips to his, he kissed me back with just as much warmth as before and I could feel him smiling into the kiss causing me to smile too.
“You know we haven’t got very long, right?”
I questioned as I pulled away and he still had that adorable half smirk on his lips.
“I know,” He shrugged placing his hands on my hips and pulling me so I was now fully on top of him. “But we have long enough.”
He mused dismissively as he smashed his lips back to mine but I pulled away after a few seconds.
“Yeah yeah before you start that I’m gonna go shower.”
I smiled giving him a look as I rolled off of him.
“Oooh can I join you?”
He chuckled as I slipped out from underneath the covers and ran a self-conscious hand through my hair.
“Keep dreaming Niall.”
I mused rolling my eyes and he just smiled.
“Oh I will.”
I just smiled giving him a wink before sauntering off to shower.
The hot jets of water tumbled over me cleansing against my skin and washing away any traces of heat and sweat from the many make-out sessions lingering from last night. It was so nice to just be able to spend some time together uninterrupted, not once did one of the boys call, someone rang the doorbell, or one of the boys just randomly turned up, not a single interruption and it was bliss.
"Hey Ash I need my hair gel!"
Niall's thick accent came from outside the door. Furrowing my brow I turned to face the door even though it was closed so we clearly couldn't see each other.
"Since when do you wear hair gel?"
I queried rolling my eyes around the room in search of any hair gel. But sure enough there was some on the cabinet in between multiple cans of Lynx.
"Today, and I need it now."
I could hear him chuckling slightly.
"Well you'll have to wait I'm not getting out for the sake of your hair that you never even put gel in, who are you, Zayn?"
"Yeah," He chuckled. "So I need it now."
After considering for a moment I gave in rolling my eyes I turned away.
"Well you'll have to come and get it then won't you? Just cover your eyes."
I pleaded.
"Uh huh."
He agreed and then the door cracked open and Niall emerged with his hand clamped to his eyes smiling as he used his other one to find his hair gel on the cabinet, which on result ended up in knocking over pretty much all the other bottles on there but he had it and gave me a thumbs up shutting the door behind him. Idiot.
After rinsing the conditioner from my hair and a few painstaking minutes of having it in my eye I switched the water off wrapping my towel around me and then proceeding to squat down onto the floor and pick up all the things Niall had knocked over.
“Niall you knocked everything over!”
I hollered and I could hear him chuckling from somewhere near.
“Well that’s what happens when you make me close my eyes babe.”
He replied and I just rolled my eyes as I rearranged the multiple cans of Lynx and various other things back onto the cabinet and then made my way back to my room. But when I got in there Niall was stood by my vanity, hair gel pot in hand doing something or other with his tousled blonde locks. I just looked at him in the mirror and he smiled turning around to face me.
“What? Your mirror is better than mine.”
“Niall there’s nothing wrong with your mirror.”
“There is.”
“What?”
I challenged giving him a stern look. My hair was dripping onto the carpet now leaving a dark pool of water at my feet and was ever creeping into ringlets of curls with the liquid smothered state it was in hence my recent exit from the shower.
“Well…Err let’s just say basketballs aren’t made for inside?”
“Niall…”
“Oh well, I’ll just get a new one. But now, I can use yours, right?”
He smirked and I rolled my eyes tightening my towel around my body as I ran my fingers through my sopping curls trying to pry them out into a more straight state but they kept on springing back into that unruly type of curl that it annoyingly went into every now and then.
“Sure, it’s not like I need it.”
I piped up giving a sarcastic smile as I sat down onto the bed and began sifting through my make-up bag taking out my essentials.
“No, you don’t.”
He replied grinning as he turned back to the mirror tweaking with his hair.
I decided not to push this further as I crossed my legs and then set my large compact mirror in front of me and began dusting powder on my cheeks.
“I don’t see how you have the patience,” Niall began still seeming very interested in the label on the bottom of his pot of hair gel. “To spend so much time on your make-up.”
“It takes me ten minutes Niall.”
I replied flatly now uncapping my eye-liner and beginning to rim around my bottom lashes lightly.
“Exactly! Ten minutes when you could be doing something a lot better.”
He nodded curtly and this time I just ignored him as I moved onto mascara deciding not to put very much on as I would most likely falling asleep on the plane at some point so it’d probably end up working it’s way off then.
“Are you almost done yet?”
I questioned now finished my make-up I pulled my fingers through my hair again feeling it begin to knot slightly as it sprung into tighter curls. This isn’t good.
“Alright, alright,” He smirked holding his hands up in defence. “I’m done, I’ll go make breakfast.”
He grinned and I looked at him as he leant closer to me brushing some damp locks of hair from my eyes and tucking them behind my ear with the rest.
“Don’t burn it.”
I pleaded as he inched closer now resting his forehead lightly on mine his hand cupping my face at my jaw as I just gazed back at him unmoving.
“I won’t…”
He mused now sliding his lips onto mine firmly his hand still cupping my face as his fingers brushed my jawline. Slowly as the kiss deepened he pushed me backwards and soon I felt my back make contact with the covers as he continued to kiss me and I could feel him smirking as he did. Pulling away I pushed my hands against his shoulders pushing him back slightly, as I was only wearing a towel I was slightly concerned for my lack of clothing becoming very apparent.
“Get off…”
I giggled pushing him away and he chuckled pulling me up with him by my hands and pressing my stomach against his pulling me close to him as he just smiled at me looking at me with that same pure look of adoration that I’ve grown to love amercing myself in every time I catch it in his eyes, so genuine, happy.
“Awh am I distracting you?”
He cooed giving my stomach a playful prod making me flinch slightly, when I said nothing he broke out into a grin tracing his fingers along my jaw and then brushing more hair that had fallen in my eyes.
“Seems to be an awful lot of room in there to me…”
He smirked letting his fingers dance over my stomach tickling it through the towel separating my bare skin and his fingers.
“Maybe there is.”
I shrugged feeling the lowest of grumbles churn inside my stomach, maybe I was partially hungry. I just didn’t like to admit this to myself.
“Maybe.”
He shrugged smiling as he pressed his lips to my forehead, then to the tip of my nose and then my lips again but he held them there for longer before I pulled away.
“Go make breakfast idiot.”
I giggled pushing him away and he just smiled as he let me go and shoved his hands into his pockets and two minutes later I could hear the cluttering of pots and pans going on downstairs sounding through the house.
I settled with some grey Jeggings, a white tank top and a grey floral print cardi before letting my hair settle in it’s now slightly less unruly waves around my shoulders. Make-up now done earlier I was pretty much read to go. I suppose now, I only had the uneasy task of returning home to give my car keys to my sister. With all due respect, I was apprehensive about letting her be in possession of my car for a few weeks, one shopping trip was enough to be sceptical about, let alone many events that could take place over the Christmas holidays that I don’t even think I want to know about. But all the same under my Father’s strong suggestion she was going to be using my car while I was away over Christmas (They did not know where still or who with just that I was going away) since her car had been shamefully nosed straight into a brick wall last week and was in repair, figures, with the immaculate timing I began to question my sister’s devilish attitude. Nonetheless I was compiled to agree with lending my car to her for at least two weeks, she just better have it cleaned and polished to the tip when she returns it.
“I think I did a pretty good job, right?”
Niall announced proudly as I slid onto the stall at the island trying not to question if this was the same person that wasn’t convinced flour was used to make pancakes last year. Reaching forward I plucked a plump red strawberry and slipped it between my lips digging my teeth into the plush red fruit feeling it’s juice spraying out into my mouth and dancing on my taste buds an exotic yet fruitful taste, it tasted better than many strawberries I’d had before.
“Good, right?”
He grinned as I devoured the rest of it and licked my tongue against my teeth getting any traces of the fruit left lingering onto my taste buds.
“Since when was there Strawberries in this kitchen?”
I asked as I gratefully took another and this time dipped it into the bowl of sugar which Niall smiled even more at, rolling it around in the white crystals I slipped this one into my mouth too.
“Since about ten minutes ago when I ventured out into the freezing artic of the garden and all the way down to the greenhouse where Harry’s growing them and many other things.”
“Well how very brave and manly of you.”
I commented as I finished the second one and took another this time dipping it into the jug of cream that was next to the bowl of sugar, Niall had outdone himself with this. I was only expecting a cereal bar on the way to the airport or something but no, he went for all out variety and with scarcely good quality strawberries.
“I know, I think I deserve a kiss for this.”
He smirked and I rolled my eyes but obeyed anyway pressing my lips to his for a few seconds.
“You taste of strawberries.”
He observed smiling to himself as he brought a fork from the drawer and started on a pancake of many piled up on a plate.
“Well done.”
I nodded curtly at him and he just smiled at me as he hastily scoffed down the pancake and moved onto a second.
“So, I have a proposal for you.”
He began and I looked up at him through my fringe as I stopped spreading the margarine I was on my toast and raised my eye-brows questioningly.
“Oh you do?”
“I do.”
“Okay.”
I prompted and he swallowed what he was eating and then licked his lower lip biting down on it for a few seconds before looking up at me now seeming suddenly nervous.
“So, um m next year we have this um, thing…”
“Spit it out Niall.”
I giggled and he let a small smirk play across his lips before clicking his tongue against the inside of his cheek.
“We have this…Red carpet move premiere thing we have to go to…Okay? And I was wondering, I would really like it, if you came with me?”
“Move premiere?”
I raised my eye-brows. I had never been to one before, all the events I had been to before that involved the red carpet were often Music promotions due to my Father or Fashion appearances in New York, never had I been involved in the world of performing arts, and this, was going to be something new for me.
“Uh huh. I can’t remember the name of the movie, but I just know there’s gonna be a lot of people there. And I um, I really want to show everyone and you, that I’m proud to have you as my girlfriend, so what do you say? I mean it’s okay if you don’t want to…”
I smiled leaning over the island and reaching for his hand.
“Sure, I’d love to.”
I beamed pressing my lips to his and he happily kissed me back the taste of pancakes lingering on his lips.
-
“You wanna come in? My parents won’t be up yet…”
I asked Niall as we stood underneath the porch the dim light being the only light around here as the sun was still showing no signs of turning up anytime soon. He brought himself closer to me his hands gripping firmly onto my waist as he pressed his body against mine inching closer to me.
“Nah, I don’t wanna start anything. I’ll just wait here.”
He told me concern and thoughtfulness ridden throughout his tone. I looked at him with wide eyes silently telling him he didn’t have to worry about starting anything but it was no good, after all, I would only be about two minutes, all I had to do was place the keys by my sister’s room and leave a note regarding my whereabouts and situation and a reminder that they were more than welcome to bring it up with me when I got back, or over the phone if they had a problem, that bit was aimed at my Mother. And then I would silently leave, with Niall to Ireland with him for Christmas.
“Okay, well if you’re sure…”
“Uh huh.”
He confirmed and then gently placed his lips on mine, they were so warm compared to the dank and cold early morning air whipping around us and I smiled just getting a reminder of why I had told so many extravagant lies the past few months to be with Niall. It was him, it was purely just him and this relationship. It was worth all the lies, the tears and the secrets, that wasn’t that to say I didn’t feel bad about lying to people that deserved the truth but sometimes you have to tell people what they want to hear, however off the mark of truth it is.
“I’ll be two minutes.”
I assured him as we pulled away and he took a step back allowing me to lift my back from the cool bricks of the wall.
“Okay.”
He agreed sending me a smile as he pressed a final kiss to my forehead and then I fumbled with my key in the lock and it finally clicked and the door swung open revealing the house I grew up in, only somehow it looked different, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I flicked the light on as the darkness was slowly countered out by the enveloping light that revealed the modern décor that my Mother insisted on all over our house. Nothing was stirring but the frequent ticking of the wall clock above the kitchen door and I almost felt as if I was intruding, like this wasn’t my house, and it was so weird to feel out of place in my own house, but I brushed it off cautiously making my way up the stairs hearing my footsteps echoing throughout the house.
Slowly I creaked Ellie’s door open, she was asleep curled up underneath the covers her pink lamp glowing softly above her head giving the room a whole kind of soft and dim tinge as everything was poorly exposed in the dim light, but enough to be able to see it. Knowing I couldn’t hang around for too long or wait for her to wake up I dropped the keys onto her bedside cabinet next to a pile of CD’s and then I left closing the door behind me. As I walked down the hallway approaching the landing I could hear the faint sound of water coming from somewhere, furrowing my brow I turned around looking behind me half expecting water to start running down the carpet right now. It was so loud. When this didn’t happen I shrugged it off and as I passed the bathroom and I could see the light glowing from underneath the door and then the faint sound of my father humming I concluded it was in fact him showering. He must have to be somewhere early today, but on Christmas Eve?
Shrugging this off I made my way back downstairs and was about to proceed to the kitchen to leave my note for my parents but then the abrupt sound of someone clearing their throat behind me brought me from my thoughts and my heart sped up when I was faced with my stony faced Mother.
“What’s up with you?”
She shot the question at me straight away, there was never any beating around the bush with my Mother, she would cut straight to the chase, telling me exactly what I had done wrong and what I was going to do about it regardless of what I thought or felt. I stared back at her suddenly feeling my rebellious side bubbling up inside of me; I was just waiting for the insult when I told her. I was going to tell her, I had to. Another countless insult from her would be feasible, I’d get over it in the end wouldn’t I? Suddenly, I found myself being fed up. And I got the sudden urge to make peace with my Mother, always fighting with her was getting old, and maybe I had always been the one waiting for someone else to push to make the peace but maybe now it was my turn, and I had to push to make the peace with her, after all, she was my Mum. I concluded that how she reacted to me and Niall would be the decider, maybe we could work this out, maybe.
“What’s up with me…Is that I’m not spending this Christmas here-“
“I know you’re not. You’re selfishly ditching your family to go somewhere else I know, and that somewhere you won’t tell us, right? All you do is keep secrets Ashley and I’m getting pretty sick of it. Why are you so selfish?”
I stared back at her with wide eyes. Suddenly wishing I could drown myself in that cup of tea she was holding, just avoid this conversation all together, after all, it was easier to walk away than to dirty your hands with the messy details of an already broken family, but maybe I’d always been searching for the easy way out, sometimes you have to take yourself out of your depth a bit, it might just get you somewhere. So, swallowing the lump in my throat and wiping my sweaty palms on my Jeggings I attempted to form the words in my head but they wouldn’t come so I absentmindedly opened my mouth to speak, feeling some kind of explanation rolling off my tongue.
“I was getting to the explanation, Mum.” She just looked at me narrowing her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest tapping her foot impatiently as she waited upon my continue. “I-I…I’m spending Christmas with Niall and-“
“What?! You mean-“
“Yes, Niall.”
I concluded wincing for her to either completely blank me out or blow up on me, apparently she was going to try and combine both.
“You know what Ashley? Just don’t even bother talking to me, ever again.”
“Mum…”
I tried and she spun on her heel looking down at me with such a pointed look of anger it struck me. She’d been angry before, she’d called me a bitch or a whore before, she’d been close to completely punching me out before but I had never seen this look of…pure fury, ebony frustration seeping through her pores as it conveyed into the suddenly tenser and thick air which may not have been consisting of oxygen at all as I was finding it undeniably hard to breathe.
“No! I don’t want to hear any more of your bullshit Ashley! You know what you are?” There was a medium pause as she formed her words in her head and I could already tell they were going to be poisonous, just the way she was looking at me, it was so indescribable, I’d never seen this type of anger on her before and furious didn’t even begin to cover it. “You are a spiteful, selfish, dis-respectful, self-centred bitch who thinks about nobody but herself, and I am…Purely ashamed to call you my daughter! My anger is understated and I cannot believe the pure…stupidity within your actions. You need to be seriously put in your place young lady! You don’t even deserve to be called a lady, you are a…worthless and hopeless-“
Just as she was beginning to raise her hand to hit me her eyes travelled to the door behind me and now as I dared to take my eyes away from her and look behind me I could see Niall slowly and cautiously making his way up behind me, and too, confusion and anger was in his eyes, his lips set into a scowl as he didn’t move his glance to me, he kept it on my Mother, tight and harsh they locked gazes and I felt like throwing up right there and then, this wasn’t going to be good.
“I’m sorry but…Who the hell do you think you are?”
Niall challenged now he was beside me he slowly moved a hand and placed it on my hip pushing me so I was behind him but I resisted, so much for not starting anything, or making peace, for that matter.
My Mother shook her head, she was enraged. She was astounded at how Niall had dared to question her and where she stood, she was at the top, my Mother is always at the top and you don’t argue with that. She’s above you and your argument is invalid, simple as that.
“How dare you question who I am?! That question is from me to you. Who do you think you are?! Messing with my daughter and her life like this, you’ve had your fun with her, you changed enough things and now you want to invade more? She broke up with you, isn’t it clear enough for you? She-“
“Because you told her to!”
Niall shot back and I tried desperately to catch his gaze but he wasn’t having it, he was in pure depth with venting the truth right there and then and he wasn’t going to stop, I could just tell.
“Niall…”
I tried placing a hand on his shoulder but he shook me off and I could feel how tense he was, the way he was clenching his fists so tightly into a ball, the way his jaw was clenched and his teeth were gritted, this was serious.
“No!” He told me that he wasn’t going to step back and take a back seat this time. “I’m fed up of this. It’s all very well that you don’t like me, it’s all very well for you to insult me, you can do whatever you like to me but to treat your daughter like you do? I’m sorry but it’s not right and it’s not fair on Ashley! What Mother speaks to their daughter like that?! I’m sure she’s not asking you to like our relationship, and I’m not asking you to like me because you clearly don’t but to respect it is all that’s required here but you can’t even do that. To tell Ashley the things you have today is absolutely ridiculous as a Mother, and it’s not just words you’ve used against her is it?!”
I looked from him to my Mother utterly dumbfounded by this whole ordeal. It’s not just words she’s used against me…What?
“N-Niall what are you talking about?”
I demanded feeling every piece of dignity and self-control I had left crumbling away inside of me.
“Yes Niall, what are you talking about?”
My Mother sneered giving Niall an urgent and pointed look, something’s going on, or something’s gone on. Niall hasn’t told me something, or my Mum hasn’t told me something, either way, there’s something I don’t know that they do.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. So come on, are you going to tell her or shall I?”
Niall raged, his body language said it all, he was too far in to stop now, something was about to surprise me, I could just feel it. There was something more in this hate-hate relationship between Niall and my Mother.
“You wouldn’t.”
Mum growled clenching her teeth together and slowly shaking her head at Niall giving him the look upon looks of fury and warning, but Niall was determined, I could feel it.
“But I would. So what’s it gonna be? She deserves to know, Madeline. It’s either from you or from me? Your choice.”
Niall shrugged. I noticed how he couldn’t keep still, he was lurching forwards and backwards the anger seeping through him.
“I deserve to know what? Tell me what you’re talking about!”
I pleaded and my Mother looked distraught, like she was about to admit to murder or something, Niall slowly turned to look at me his face softening slightly as he locked gazes with me instead of my Mother and then I could tell it was going to come from Niall, whatever it was, not my Mother.
“Hawaii last year Ashley.”
He told me in an urgent and desperate tone and I just looked at him remembering my many events with him last year. Hawaii.
“Niall you wouldn’t.”
My Mother said through gritted teeth but I don’t think he even heard her as he continued to stare at me.
“She spiked your drink Ashley. It wasn’t fluke, it was her idea…It was…It was your Mum and that cousin of yours!”
He told me and I suddenly felt dizzy. But then I felt everything clicking together. This actually made sense, and now, I was about ready to blow up.
“No!”
My Mother hollered smacking a hand to her forehead. I didn’t know what to say, who to believe or what to do. Niall wasn’t going to lie, he wasn’t like that. But my own Mother? This is all too much. My heart was practically in my throat and I was pretty sure I was about to spew my guts up anytime soon…All over my Mother’s new Persian rug would be nice…
“Mum! How could you?”
I challenged feeling the most betrayed I had ever felt as I crossed my arms over my chest frowning deeply, it was a wonder I hadn’t cried yet. Seeing my Mum and my boyfriend at each other’s throats like they were was all rather head spinning. And then to receive that kind of information? Drugs. My own Mother schemed me out with drugs. She was the one who had spent all her time dragging me away from that world, the world of illegal substances, underage alcohol and most of all, drugs. And then she fed it straight to me, there and then, making me go practically out of my head at my boyfriend’s red carpet event. Walk somewhere completely unknown and end up crying, sat on the pavement, in the rain at one in the morning not having a clue who I am or where I was while having Niall frantically searching everywhere for me? Anything could have happened. Wow. I knew my Mother could sink low, but this, this was unbelievable.
“I…I, it was for the best Ashley.”
She stuttered. It was for the best?! I have no words, thankfully, Niall did.
“For the best?! How is spiking your own daughter’s drink for the best?! What world are you living in?! Anything could have happened to her that night if I hadn’t found her, do you know how dangerous that was?!”
“Nobody asked for your opinion.”
She snapped at him and suddenly I felt defensive, of Niall. I always had but right now I felt particularly guilty that she was blowing off at him like this, fair enough he was blowing off at her back but she was my Mother, therefore it was my fault.
“Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna give it.”
Niall retorted.
“Don’t speak to him like that.”
I snapped in at my Mum who raised her eye-brows at me questioning if I really went there.
“What did you just say?”
“I said don’t speak to him like that!” I repeated. “You blow off about someone saying something so simple to you when you should listen to yourself. No…No Mother says to their daughter what you said to me today Mum. I’m not asking you to like mine and Niall’s relationship or him, or for that matter me, but you could at least have some respect…Come on Niall, let’s go.”
I retorted making a grab for Niall’s hand, I glared at my Mother who just stood there dumfounded at my words and probably actions too. This wasn’t the way I wanted things to end up, of course it wasn’t, but it did and I’m not gonna say that I’m innocent because I’m probably not, but either way, maybe this was just necessary, a wakeup call, maybe. Niall obeyed but I could feel how tense he was even just holding my hand. He was in front of me, walking away just ahead of me we were almost at the door when she called after me.
“Fine, walk away, but just don’t even bother coming back Ashley, you utterly disrespectful bitch!”
She hollered and at this point I turned feeling something really snap inside of me. There wasn’t any patching this up, there wasn’t any ignoring it, this was the last straw, she was kicking me out.
“Gladly!”
I shouted over my shoulder and then I looked away not sparing her another shameless glance as I slammed the door behind us but I only made it down the porch steps before the tears evaded my eyes. Warm and rough as they brushed my cheeks, dampening my eye-lashes and dripping onto my clothes as they came. Niall sighed pulling me into his chest and immediately rubbing smooth circles in the small of my back.
I sucked in a long and deep breath stepped back from him slightly as the realization hit me of what had just been said, what had just been decided, what had just played out right there and then and all the words, the things she hadn’t told me, hit me right then like several punches in the gut. My own Mother. I knew she could sink low, her heart was cold, but I never did think it was solid ice but now, I’m not sure.
“N-Niall,”
I breathed desperately through my tears.
“Shhh baby it’s okay.”
I sucked in some more air trying to compose myself but it just wasn’t working for me.
“I think…I think I’ve just been kicked out.”
I choked and he just pulled me back into him hugging me tightly as he ran his fingers through the tips of my hair. This could have gone a whole lot better.
“It’s okay, love, shhh I’ll take care of you I promise…I’m sorry baby.”
I shook my head caving into him as I clinged onto his waist as if for dear life itself deepened on it.
“It’s…Not…Your fault.”
I managed and then the feel of his lips against the top of my head settled me slightly from my breakdown.
“You’re so beautiful inside and out Ash…Don’t listen to anything she says.”
He soothed his lips tickling my ear as he said this his breath was warm against my skin. I sobered up my tears now realising she wasn’t worth them. If we never did patch this up, at least I had everything I needed and that was Niall. If she didn’t want to even call me her daughter anymore or know me, well that was up to her and I guess I’d deal with that. Maybe today was just a step too far, that was too much, what she said and then finding out what she did, I don’t even know if I should consider forgiving her for that. That was messed up, what she did.
“N-Niall…I love you and I’m sorry for her talking to you like that and-“
“No, don’t be sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for pushing it further but I couldn’t just stand there and listen to her insulting you like that…Hell Ashley I couldn’t stand there and listen to anyone insult you like that, I’m sorry, babe, my protective side kicked in but I just couldn’t stand there and listen to all those things she was saying…All those things she was saying that you are that you’re most definitely not.”
I swear this boy came from heaven. He just cares so much it’s surreal, I never thought someone would care this much about me, it’s so beautiful.
“Can…Can we just go…I wanna forget about this, I-I love you.”
I breathed now regaining my composure. He nodded fumbling his lips against my forehead.
“Sure, whatever you want love, I love you too.”
He breathed and then wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me close to him and as we walked to the car that was waiting for us I looked back up at the house just in time to see my Mother turn away, the curtain twitched, just a small movement but then it fell back again, still and absent, impure and silent, like everything that didn’t matter to her; I was just another girl now, just another girl who chose love over someone else’s wishes, call me foolish, but it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.
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A/N.
suprise upload bbz
not even jokiing though this isn't even funny anymore day two and it hurts about ten times more than yesterday. fuck this shiz that is braces with elastic bands, they're just fun to ping across the room . the only thing they are good for.
you know I really love the song One More Night by Maroon 5 c: you and i go hard like we're going to warrr
see you soon baby.
-Emily.