"Kaitlyn," Joseph spoke gently towards his daughter. "let them have some time alone." Katie frowned but she grabbed onto her father's hand as he pulled her out of the room.
"How are you doing?" Jace suddenly asked me.
"Can we go outside?" I blurted out ignoring Jace's question. "I don't want your dad or Katie hearing what we're saying." Jace silently nodded his head at me as he opened the door and walked outside. I followed behind him closely. As soon as I walked back outside I could feel the spring sun against my skin.
I grabbed my bag and pulled Jace's diary out. "Here, you can have it Jace." I said basically waving it in his face.
Jace sighed rolling his eyes at me. "Scarlett, please I don't care about having it back." He snapped back at me. "You told me to call you when I'm ready to talk."
I took a step back from him. "Right." I agreed. "I'm sorry about before and I know you are too." He threw a sad smile my way. "The day we met, when I bumped into you, you dropped your diary. At first I knew I was going to read all of it. But once I read the first page I felt bad and went to go give it back to you." I looked down at the ground. "You seemed so angry with something so suddenly I didn't feel so bad anymore."
"Scarlett" Jace said so gently it almost made me forget what I was trying to explain to him. "you don't have to-"
"After things got more serious between us I honesty stopped because I knew it was stupid." I cut him off. "Then one day I randomly picked it up again as a joke and. . . my dad came into my room and he had scared me. Weirdly enough it fell on a page and that's when I saw my name." Our eyes locked. "Blair Edwards."
Seconds pasted and Jace didn't say a word. I thought back to Cassie's party when he had nothing to say. But Jace suddenly spoke up, "I know you're probably confused." He confessed. "I saw you at one of Maddie's parties and everything changed. I know you didn't see me and I didn't want to go up to talk to you because one day I heard Maddie on the phone talking about your boyfriend. Only if I knew what he was doing to you."
"You couldn't have known what Adam was doing to me." I winced.
"I know but I still blame myself." Jace said sadly, "I know I sound like a creep but it's true. I saw you in person only a couple of times, and I would just watch you from afar. I was actually surprised you never knew who I was."
I shrugged my shoulders. I felt stupid for never connecting the dots. But Maddie never really talked about her family. I tried to think back to a time when I could have seen Jace but nothing came to my mind.
"The only way to really express my feelings was when I would write them down." He continued, "I would write about you all the time. It actually distracted me because back then I knew my mother was sick with cancer and when she actually passed I didn't know what to do with my life. But when I started writing I didn't feel so lost anymore."
"I'm so sorry about your mom." I sputtered. I could never imagine how hard it would be to lose your mother let alone to cancer. "I'm so sorry Jace."
He gave me a small smile. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me. This is completely all my fault because when you suddenly left I was confused and shocked at the same time. I knew Maddie went to court and when I asked her what for she told me never to speak of it again. Deep down I knew it could have something to do with you. Maddie and I never really spoke after that, she actually didn't speak to anyone." He let out a long breath. "When she finally connected the dots that day she came to my house I knew it was really you."
"But you had no right to keep something like that away from me!" I cried, "I feel so stupid that I didn't know." I shook my head wiping the tears that had fallen from my eyes. I felt weak crying and I hated that.
Jace looked up at me sadly nodding his head knowly. "Like I told you before on the first day of school when you first bumped into me, I was so mad because it the anniversary of my mother's death." He murmured, "I didn't even realize you were Blair. Then that day at the club. . . I snapped."
I always wondered why Jace was so overprotective over me even though I had technically just met him. "How did I never notice you?" I was completely puzzled. "How were you able to watch me from afar and I never saw you once?"
Jace shrugged, "Now that I think about it, you always seemed so distant. Like you were there but you never were really there."
That was true. I was always so caught up with Adam at the time, my mind literally wouldn't let me think about anything else. "But still," I breathed out. "Why didn't you tell me? This whole time you just pretended. When I told you about who I was it was all a lie because you already knew." My voice got higher. "That's so messed up Jace." I spat, "You must understand how I feel right?" I yelled, "I feel like everything that comes out of your mouth is now a lie."
Jace shook his head quickly taking a step closer toward me but I stepped farther back. "No Scarlett." He wept, "It's not like that at all. I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. "There was more to that story- I thought that you wouldn't understand."
"Well you did hurt me." A sigh left my mouth. "I need time Jace."
Jace suddenly froze, "What do you mean you need time?"
"I need time." I repeated, "I need time from this." I gently touched his hand and he flinched, "You know how I feel about you Jace. But I do need time."
---
"Did you guys break up?" Mia asked me quietly.
"No." I shook my head at her. After I had left Jace's house I had called Mia and she insisted that I come over to her apartment immediately. "Well to be honest I don't know." I wrapped my fingers around my hot chocolate mug. "I really don't want to, but I don't know how to move past this."
"Sometimes people mess up bad and there's nothing you can really do about it." Mia confessed, "You don't necessarily have to forget about it or move on you just need to see through it. You need to see that a mistake doesn't define a person." She smiled at me. "I know it's hard especially because he lied to you for months but you can choose to have hate in your heart or you can choose not to. It's always your choice."
I was taken aback by Mia's words. She was only a few years older than me, yet she seemed so mature. "Wow," I breathed out. "that is the best advice anyone has ever told me in my life." I laughed quietly, "Are we still talking about me here?"
Mia rolled her eyes at me. "Yes we are still talking about you here." She laughed along with me. "All I can really say is that you and Jace need to work through it. It might not be easy but it's worth a shot. What you guys have is nice." She giggle, "Even I'll be upset if it ends."
---
I rolled over in my bed restlessly. On sunday's I usually liked to take naps before I have to go back to that hell hole which most people call school. I pulled the covers off myself roughly. There was no use in trying to fall asleep when all I would think about is Jace and only Jace. I couldn't believe any of it.
"Scar!" I heard JJ's voice yell from downstairs. "Your friends are here." I jumped quickly out of my bed running towards my mirror. I looked like trash. They could have at least called first.
I quickly went downstairs and followed their voices. "Hey guys." I whispered and they all turned around to look at me. "I know I look rough okay?" I implied. "You all could have told me you were coming."
Ava wrapped her arms around me. "Yeah you do Scar." I rolled my eyes. "Are you okay?" She asked.
I smiled sadly nodding my head. "Yeah I'm fine." I was lying and they probably knew it. "Cassie I'm still so sorry about your party. I didn't think Vanessa would actually do that."
Cassie also gave me a quick hug. "No Scarlett it's not your fault." She explained, "I'm sorry for what Vanessa told Jace. I know you guys are going through a lot. We tried to call him but he isn't picking up."
Leo nodded his head. "Vanessa is a liar. That diary thing is stupid."
"He will eventually come around Scar." Zoey smiled gently at me.
"Thank you guys so much." I responded, "You guys mean a lot to me." They all smiled back.
"Just so you guys know I never told Megan anything about your past Scarlett. She only knew that Adam was a bad ex-boyfriend that's all. She must have found out somehow."
I nodded at him, "Who knows how she really found it. You can't trust anyone these days."
---
I'm planning to do about 28 chapters so we'll be reaching the end soon AHHH. I love you all.