Jiyeon
I reclined into my bed after another day at school. It's been two days since what happened between me and Jin. I still let Jin crash at my place of course, but I was still too upset to talk normally with him, and he focused on Namjoon, sparing me a few glances every now and then.
It's Wednesday, Jimin and Yoongi had already agreed to meet up at Jimin's house, Hoseok spent the day at dance practice, and I wanted the day to myself so Taehyung and Jungkook are hanging out at Tae's apartment. Jin and Namjoon are of course together.
And yet, there was something I couldn't get out my mind..
Jungkook liked me? Maybe even loved me? But when? How come I never knew this?
I closed my eyes, ready to be taken back into my memories. I wanted to remember all the important moments I shared with Kookie, so I need to start in the beginning. The very beginning...
Middle Of The School Year
Fourth Grade
I sat impatiently in my seat, eager for class to begin. I haven't made any close friends this school year, but it wouldn't matter in a few months anyway since they'll all forget about me in due time.
The teacher walked in with a large grin on her face. Her name was Mrs Pratt, she was a foreigner and taught English to kids. She was a very kind woman, I could tell she really cared for us like her own children.
"Alright class." She clapped her hands to get our attention. "We have a new student, he's from Busan and he's a year younger than the rest of you." She gestured for the student to come in.
It was a cute small boy with big doe eyes and bunny like teeth. My eyes practically glistened at the sight of him. A friend?
He gazed around the classroom, stopping on me who was excitedly hopping in my seat. "H-hi, I'm Jeon J-Jungkook." He stuttered cutely, staring down at his hands as he fiddled his fingers in a nervous mannerism.
The teacher nudged him forward, signaling for him to go find a seat. He peeked up, nervously scanning the class once again. Students started raising their hands asking for him to be their neighbor. But the second I raised my hand, the frightened bunny came running over.
He plopped down at the window seat in the very back, right next to mine. He didn't even look at me.
"Jungkook?" I smiled at him, he raised his head shyly. "I'm Lim Jiyeon."
Beginning Of The School Year
Fifth Grade
"So how old is your brother?" I kicked my legs back and forth at the swing set of the Han park.
Jungkook was still as shy as ever, but I could tell he was warming up. "He's sixteen."
"Wow, so he's seven years older? Me and my older brother are one year apart, almost two, and I have a younger from who's five right now."
"That's cool." He swung back and for on his swing just as I did.
Jungkook soon stopped when a figure approached the playground. He was also very small and cute, pointing at the slide. "Mommy, can I play?"
"Go ahead Suga."
The little boy ran over. He had a slight accent, I was sure he's the kid in our class that just moved from Daegu. Min Yoongi.
He began to climb up the ladder just as Jungkook hopped of the swing, crossing his arms. "This is our territory, move along kid." He tried to make his voice deeper, emphasizing the Busan accent in his throat.
Yoongi quickly hopped down from the ladder, scanning the bunny up and down. "Do I know you?"
"No, but you should know this is my spot."
"Do you own this land?"
The maknae tilted his head confusingly. "What? No."
"Then how is it you're territory if you don't own it?"
Jungkook had no idea how to counter Yoongi's valid point. "Don't be a smarty pants!"
"What are you, some lame playground bully?" Jungkook didn't answer back and Yoongi soon shifted his gaze to me. "And why does she get to stay?"
"Because she's my friend."
Yoongi rolled his eyes, retreating back to him mother. "Whatever, I don't care anymore."
Jungkook huffed angrily, turning back to face me. "I sure showed him, huh?"
"Bye loser!" Yoongi waved, causing Jungkook to stomp his foot angrily and me to giggle quietly.
Beginning Of The School Year
Middle School
I finally hit that growth spurt I've been needing. Instead of having little mosquito bites I actually have boobs now. They're not that big but I'm still grateful. I also grew into my face a bit.
I stood by Yeonwoo, we've already grown close after just two weeks of school. Yeonwoo also looked more mature than me so she was getting all the attention, but the girl promised to stay pure and paid the boys no mind.
"So, the Jung Hoseok kid is new to Seoul, right?" Yeonwoo picked at her nails.
"Same with Park Jimin, that's probably how they hit it off so quickly."
I scan the area to see if I could spot the two boys, but I saw someone else that caught my eye. Jungkook. Me and him lost contact for little while, it's different seeing him now. Although he still look like a baby he's a lot more mature as well.
Without hesitation, I screamed out his name loud enough to make him drop his conversation and turn in my direction. His eyes wandered for a bit until resting on me. He stared at me confusingly, not moving a muscle until I gesture for him to come forward.
He approached me nervously while I had a wide grin on my face. His eyes quickly dipped to my chest, titling his head as he eyed my new breast with a confused expression. His eyes picked up, him now looking scared.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect you to change like this." He said while putting emphasis on the last word. "Jiyeon, right?"
"Yep." I smiled shortly at him.
"Did you grow those over night or something?"
Middle Of The School Year
Eighth Grade
Me and Jungkook sat in the library quietly. He seemed to be making more time for his other friends than he is for me, he doesn't even come to the Han park anymore because softball practice.
Our study session was the only time we'd get together, especially with all that has happened so far. It was like I had to meet Jungkook all over again. He was different in a way. And he acted differently around me.
It made me wonder what changed between us, or did we just grow apart?
I was helping him with his English course, his grades were steadily dropping and the teacher asked me to help him out. Jimin is the class leader and usually helps other students, but ever since Hoseok came back, he's been prioritizing his friend.
Me and Jungkook sat in silence as he swept through his text book. I watched him closely, he was concentrating harshly. I wanted to say something but I didn't want to disturb him.
Instead, I scooted closer, making sure to tug my uniform skirt down so it wouldn't raise up. Jungkook noticed this action, scooting away ever so slightly.
I need to make some small talk.
"So, do you remember Min Yoongi?" It took him a while to even realize I asked him a question before nodding his head. "What happened to him, he seems pretty down this year."
Jungkook looked up at me, hoping I wasn't serious with the question. "I heard his mother died last year, didn't you know?"
"Yeah, but everytime something happens or someone disappears, kids start making rumors about that person getting hit by a bus or a car. It's hard to tell if it's true or not."
Jungkook shrugged slightly. "You're right, but I heard she got in a car accident on her way to pick Yoongi up from school. But you're right, it could just be a rumor."
I rested my head in the palm of my hand. I felt bad either way, whatever Yoongi is going through, I wish him the best.
I looked over at the focused Jungkook, taking in every feature of his face. He looks so different. Playfully, I tugged at a strand of his hair. "Have you ever considered dying your hair maybe a light brown?" He backed away in a sudden fright at the touch, making sure his hair was away from my touch.
I giggled at him, tugging on a few strands of his hair once again, this time he didn't back away much. A flash of red colored his cheeks as he turned away.
"Jungkook, what happened between us? We used to be close." I continued to play with his hair, stroking it soothingly.
He shrugged once again, struggling to focus on his book while covering the blush on his face with it. "I-I guess we just grew apart, it happens." He stuttered, making him harder to understand when hiding his face like that.
I continued to stroke his hair, throwing random questions at him. "Do you have a girlfriend?" He shook his head. "Do you have a special girl you like then?"
He peeked at me over the book, nodding ever so slightly. I pulled my hand away from his hair, straightening up in my seat. "So tell me about her." I insisted.
He nodded again, putting the book down and finally revealing his reddened face. "Well, she's very pretty but I'd never say that to her face. She's the kindest and most honest person I've ever met, it's one of my favorite things about her, she always speaks her mind. She's strong and independent, always willing to try things herself before asking for help. And she's extremely caring, she hates to see anyone in pain." He smiled at just the thought of his love interest. "Her personality is great over all, she's just a fun person to be around."
"She sounds like the real dream girl."
"She is."
End Of The School Year
Eighth Grade
I sat along side Jungkook in his room. We've grown very close, but still not where we used to be. I could tell he was still a little shy and hasn't been able to relax the whole time I've been here.
I was helping him study again, of course.
"So, when are you leaving?" He questioned, trying to keep his eyes on the pages of the book.
I cocked an eyebrow teasingly. "Oh, trying to get rid of me already?" The bunny shook his head frantically, only cause me to burst into laughter. "I'm just kidding, I actually don't have a ride home, my parents don't even know I'm here."
Jungkook's eyes widened. "Why didn't you tell them?"
"My dad's at work so there's no point."
"And you're mom?"
I looked away from him, biting my bottom lip nervously. "My mother left my father right before my fourteenth birthday. I lost all contacts with her. But my father plans on remarrying soon, hopefully she'll be a better mother."
"I'm sorry."
"Eh, it's not that serious." I scooted closer to the boy once again, he leaned away a bit but didn't scoot away. "So, tell me about this dream girl again, do you still like her?"
Jungkook peered into my eyes again, just like last time. "I don't think I'll get over her anytime soon, but I don't think I have a chance with her either."
"Why would you think that?"
"Because she doesn't even know how I feel. I wish I was closer with her, we've grown apart over the years and I feel shitty for it."
"Ah, okay." I nodded. "Well you should at least tell her how you feel before it's too late, things might change once high school starts."
I looked back at the boy who only returned an intense glare. I noticed that Jungkook has a habit of staring at people when they talk, it was cute though. "What if I confess and she rejects me?"
"Then at least you can move on."
"Move on?" His brows furrowed.
I punched his shoulder playfully. "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll say yes. I would if I was her."
"You would?"
"Most definitely."
Jungkook continued to stare at me in silence. He looked away for a second before returning back to the eye contact. Then..
He started to lean in.
I wasn't sure what was happening I backed away once he got too close. "What are you doing?"
The bunny hopped back in panic. "Uh, there- there was something on your face, I was going to uh-"
"Oh, there is? Where?"
He glanced at me once more before staring down at his hands in defeat. He looked dejected. "Maybe.. you should go home before it gets too late. Ask my brother to drive you."
"Kookie-"
"Don't worry, thanks to you I'm sure I'll pass English. Thank you, Jiyeon."
Beginning Of The School Year
Freshman Year
I stood in the halls by Yeonwoo. She was bragging about how amazing her boyfriend was.
Once again, me and Jungkook lost contact, but somehow we always find a way back to each other. Well this year was different, he was clearly distancing himself from me. I'd see him around and we'd make eye contact, but he wouldn't say a word to me. I couldn't help but wonder if I did something wrong.
"So, what are your opinions on premarital sex?" Yeonwoo questioned while I pulled my book out of my locker. High school was such a different environment, I loved it.
I slammed my locker shut. "Why do you ask?"
"Because, I plan on waiting until marriage, but do you think my boyfriend can wait that long?"
I shrugged. "Usually your first boyfriend won't be your last, so I wouldn't expect you guys to even be together in the next few months." She slapped my arm in frustration causing me to whine in pain.
Things quickly dispersed when I spotted Jungkook. He was mingling with his group of friends.
I stare him down, hoping he'd notice my presence. "Uh, what are you doing?" Yeonwoo questioned, but I hushed her instead of answering.
Soon enough, Jungkook did look in my direction, and we did make eye contact. His lips parted as his he wanted to say something, but he dropped whatever thought it was.
And yet again, Jungkook changed this year. He grew in stature but was still on the scrawny side, yet it was hard to notice with the type of clothes he wore. He also took up my suggestion from last year and dyed his hair brown. He looked good.
I didn't change much, I grew and my boobs got bigger thankfully, my hair is longer too, but over all I'm still the same.
Before I could clear my mind of Jungkook and continue on my way to class, Jimin approached me, gaining Kookie's attention once more.
Jimin didn't change at all, he still had his baby fat and kept the bowl cut. His glasses stayed cutely perched on his nose and he continued to dress in only jeans and a t-shirt now that uniforms weren't required. He was a very nerdy kid, but I enjoy his presence nonetheless.
"Jiyeon, it's good to see you again." He smiled at me and I returned the gesture back.
Hoseok stood back, waiting on Jimin to finish his often short conversation with me. Hoseok didn't change much other than the pretty braces he had in. Either way, he was still cute.
"Jimin, what's up?"
"I just wanted to say hi, and also ask for some advice."
"Okay?" I listened in, ready to hear him out.
"So everyone is changing their look up for high school, I want to do the same. Any suggestions?"
I thought for a second. "Whatever you're comfortable in, be yourself."
He frowned, that wasn't the answer he was looking for. "Please give me something to work with, I want to look cool."
I hummed to myself, actually considering his options. "Try dying your hair and buying new clothes, just make sure you're comfortable with the way you are."
He nodded. "What color should I try?"
I pushed back his hair, revealing his forehead. Jimin blushed at the contact but I was completely oblivious to this. "You can probably go for any color and still look handsome, maybe try going for brown for now, then maybe try something like red, orange, grey, really any color." I smiled at the red faced freshman. "And try a hairstyle that shows your forehead, it'll look very good on you and give you a more mature look."
"Uh, thank you so much."
I pulled my had away from his forehead, he bowed towards me, then Yeonwoo before leaving.
Soon, I was approached again, this time by Jungkook. He held a deadpanned expression. "Who were you talking to?"
"Jimin, he went to school with us, remember?"
He rolled his eyes, beginning to turn away. I wasn't going to let him leave just yet. I grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt.
He looked back at me with a shocked expression. "Meet me at our special place if you still remember it."
Homecoming
Sophomore Year
"How about this dress?" I twirled around in a golden, silk, sundress. I was dress shopping last minute. I wasn't planning on ever going to homecoming, but Jungkook convinced me otherwise. He said he'll pay for my dress and ticket, I declined his offer but he was persistent.
He sat back in one of the cushioned chairs, helping me pick a dress just minutes before the dance.
He stared me up and down, taking in everything in front of him. "Can you do one more spin?"
I slouched over, I was getting dizzy from all the spinning he would make me do. "Just hurry up and pick one. You're supposed to be at the dance right now with your girlfriend."
He sighed heavily, as if his girlfriend was the last person he'd want to hear about. "You come first, Jiyeon."
"Oh really?" I stared at myself in the mirror, judging how the dress looked on me. "I couldn't tell, it seems like it was the other way around ever since you started dating whatever-her-name-is. You've prioritized your girlfriend and been a dick to me."
He groaned in agitation. This was definitely the last thing he wanted to hear. "And I'm sorry about that, I was just trying to get someone out of my head but it clearly didn't work."
I plucked another dress from the hanger and stepped into the changing room. "And who is this someone?"
"Dream girl."
"Woah, you two still talk?"
"Yep, everyday." He paused for a few moments. "I can't get her out of my head. It's crazy. It's like she's the center of my whole world, my whole universe. I tried to push her away this year but it didn't work, not even the slightest."
I chuckled. "Sounds like you're in love."
"Yeah, I think I am."
I came out the dressing room for the sixth time, twirling around then posing for Jungkook. "And what about this one?"
He eased up in his chair, leaning forward as if he was trying to get a better look. He stared in awe, only making me feel nervous. He looked mesmerized. He was at a loss of words.
"Hello, earth to Jungkook?" He snapped out of his trance, finally looking me in the eyes. "How do I look?"
He scanned my body again, taking his bottom lip into his mouth and nibbling on it. "Decent."
That was disappointing. "Really, that's the best you can do? I might as well stop looking for a dress and choose one from home." I started making my way towards the dressing room but didn't even get a chance to step inside.
"You look.. beautiful."
Those were the last words I expected to come from his mouth. The very last words. And for the first time, it was me blushing.
Everything was fine until the loud crash of thunder startled the both of us. It was raining, hard. We we're supposed to walk to homecoming which had already started minutes ago. Now that it was storming, everything was ruined. We didn't even have enough money for a cab. Why show up to homecoming soaked?
I pouted, slumping down in the chair next to Jungkook. "I guess that's the end of that. I might as well put the dress back."
Jungkook shook his head. "No, you're keeping it. Let's wait the rain out, I have an idea. Trust me."
-
The rain took an awfully long time to stop, by the time it did homecoming was already over and it was past midnight.
Jungkook bought me the dress and lead me into some unknown direction. At some point he told me to close my eyes, so I did. Once we stopped, I opened them when told to.
The Han park?
"Why are we here?"
Jungkook didn't have to answer my question with words. Instead, he played a slow song on his phone and placed it on the park bench. He sang along to the words while striding closer to me. This man had an angelic voice that I could listen to all day.
He took one of my hands into his own while placing that other at my waist. He pulled me close and began to hum the song to me.
I was shocked of course, but I was also ridiculously happy. I danced along with him, living only for this moment, this moment right now.
"Wouldn't your girlfriend be upset that you're here with me and not her? Wouldn't you rather be doing this with her and not me?"
He smirked at me. "Why, jealous?"
"Maybe, or I'm just curious."
Jungkook looked up, purposely avoiding eye contact. "Like I said, you come first and you've always came first."
"And what about that dream girl of yours?"
He scoffed, not answering the question. "I'm here with you, Jiyeon. That's all that matters to me."
I smiled to myself, resting my head against his chest and wrapping my arms around him. We continued to dance, this moment seemingly everlasting.
Jungkook hugged me tightly in return. "For now on, you'll always come first before anyone else..
.. I love you, Jiyeon."
-