"Mum?" I choked on the word. There she was. Lying on a hospital bed, strange wires attached to her, and a drip full of a strange silvery liquid that reminded me of angel blood.
The angels had only been too kind in telling me where she was being kept – there were many spare rooms down one corridor in the courthouse where the portal was kept, one of them had been converted into a makeshift hospital room for her. Apparently, they had never attempted to heal a human from their insanity before, I could only hope that the Knowers were smart enough to do it.
They'd been surprised to learn Lori was my mother, though it meant they understood why Acacius was always asking how she was doing. They had been trying their best to keep angels out of her room unless it was absolutely necessary – they didn't want to risk anyone accidentally revealing their light to her. Though they believed she might have some sort of immunity now, they did not want to test this theory. It was too high risk.
Lying there asleep, she seemed so peaceful. I was almost scared to wake her, scared that the hope of her healing was about to be crushed. I wanted badly for her to be getting better, it was something I'd dreamed of for years. The important thing was that she was alive, even if she hadn't gotten better.
I moved to the chair at her side intended for visitors (not that they ever thought she would get any here) and sat beside her. I noticed that her dark hair seemed a little fuller, her skin a little brighter.
Was that because she was healing? Or because whatever it was in that drip was making her healthier in general? I wasn't sure.
Nervously, I reached my hand out and took my mother's hand in mine. Her skin was smooth and soft.
I gave it a gentle squeeze (carefully, I knew it would be all too easy for me to break her hand now). And then... she opened her eyes.
"Emilia." She greeted, smiling up at me. She squeezed my hand back. "It's been a while."
"I..." I didn't know what to say. It had been years since she had spoken so... easily. "Yeah, um. I'm sorry I didn't... visit you sooner."
She nodded thoughtfully. "I didn't think you would ever be able to. I didn't think you would be allowed here."
"W-what are you talking about?" I stammered. "Why would I not be allowed in the hospital?"
"Oh." She nodded again. "Nothing, they just told me I wasn't allowed visitors."
I breathed a sigh of relief, so she didn't know where she was. "Right, yeah. They're letting family in now."
She smiled. "I'm glad."
"I'm... I'm glad that you're doing better." I told her, still in a state of shock.
"It's a nice change." She laughed, and it was contagious. I couldn't help but join in.
"It is." I agreed, grinning.
"You have grown up so well. You seem very different to the young girl you once were." She commented, looking over me. I wondered if she could tell how much I had changed since she last saw me.
"Do you remember it all? The past eighteen years?" I asked, concerned.
She seemed hesitant. "The earlier years are clearest. Most of my memories are a little hazy." She squeezed my hand again. "My memories of you are the clearest of all, though."
I relaxed a bit. "And... before I was born?"
She looked down, away from me. "Acacius, he died in the fire. I realise that now."
I didn't know how to respond. Perhaps that was what proved she truly was better, that she had let go. But she had been right all this time. He was producing light – she had been seeing his true form. I wondered briefly how Acacius would feel about this news, that she was finally accepting that he was dead.
"For years, it's been difficult for me to speak the words in my mind. The world just seemed so hazy and unclear. I never thought it would get better. But I finally feel like myself again."
I smiled at her. "I'm just glad you're better." I couldn't help but let out a few tears. I never truly thought I'd be able to have a proper conversation with her again. "We'll go home soon, I promise."
Whatever it took, I'd do my best to make it happen. To prove to the council that I could be trusted alone on Earth with my mother. She wouldn't need looking after now, so I wouldn't need to be down there all the time, just enough to make sure she wasn't lonely.
Maybe I could take Noah or Jasmine down with me... I banished that thought quickly, almost as soon as I thought it. I didn't think I could trust them anymore. Especially not when it concerned my mother.
I still couldn't fathom how they could do that to me. How they could lie to my face about knowing where my mother was, how could they not have told me that she was safe?
It was just something I couldn't forgive.
"I'd like that." She responded happily. "We can be a proper family again."
I stayed with her for a while, chatting about the most random things. She asked about her parents, what they were up to, and was shocked that I didn't know. It proved to me that her memory certainly was a bit sketchy, if she couldn't remember how her own parents had isolated her.
She fell asleep while we were still talking, and I stayed with her a little longer, feeling all warm inside. It was like a dream come true. I'd take Noah and the other's betrayal a thousand times over for my mother to be healthy.
When I stood up, I carefully placed her hand exactly where it had been when I came in. "I'll come back to visit soon." I whispered to her, not wanting to wake her.
I decided to head back down to see Acacius and let him know how she was doing – seeing as no one else would tell him.
Entering the courtroom where the portal was, I froze in the archway, and my stomach dropped. Standing up by the Reed's table, was Noah. He had his back to me, and he was talking to the Reed. I tuned out his words – not wanting to hear whatever they were talking about.
As though sensing me looking at him, he looked over his shoulder, and sent me a dazzling smile. He turned to face me fully, saying one more thing to the Reed before walking over to me.
I set off walking towards the hallway of cells, keeping my eyes trained on the floor so I wouldn't have to look at him.
"Emilia!" He called out, rushing to catch up with me. "We've searched all of Entilin, but we haven't found her. We're going to move onto the city now."
I didn't respond, I didn't even acknowledge that he spoke. I was too busy squeezing my eyes shut to try and contain my tears.
"Emilia?" He sounded concerned. "What's wrong? We'll find her."
I walked faster, hoping he'd get the message and go.
"Emilia?" He repeated, sounding broken.
Why did he sound upset? How could he sound so convincing when he was lying to me? Was he ever going to give it up?
I stopped walking and spun to face him, he seemed shocked at my expression. "Leave me alone, Noah."
I didn't wait for him to respond, I turned and quickly walked further down the hallway, my arms wound tightly around my stomach as though I was trying to hold myself together.
"I'll keep searching." Is all that he said. He didn't follow me after that.
I wondered what he had actually been doing, instead of searching. Because obviously he wasn't going around looking for her when he knew she was safe in Caelum.
A part of me felt bad for snapping at him, but he had betrayed me. I wasn't sure that I could forgive that.
I ran the rest of the way to Acacius' cell, hoping that the thrilling feeling of running so fast would help me forget about Noah, even if it was only temporarily.
Acacius didn't seem surprised when I suddenly appeared before him, I guess he would have heard me coming. "I went to see her." I told him, an edge to my tone. "She's doing well. Really well. She doesn't remember anything about angels though, and she admits that you died in the fire."
"What's wrong?" He frowned, standing so that he was at my level. "And that's good, I'm glad that she's healing. It's probably for the best that she doesn't remember, anyway."
"I just... I can't believe that she's here." I shrugged, a little too forcefully. I began to pace back and forth in front of his cell. "I can't believe no one told me. How Noah and Jasmine could lie to my face about her being missing!"
"I'm sad to hear that." He sounded sincere. "But angels rarely have bad intentions – not the ones that sided with god anyway, I'm sure they have a good reason."
I perked up instantly. "The ones that sided with god? There were angels that... aren't sided with god?"
"The fallen of course!" He exclaimed.
"The fallen?" I'd heard that once before. Jasmine had mentioned them... but she had avoided the topic afterwards. "What's that?"
"No one has told you about our history?" He was shocked. "Have you not seen the portrait painted onto the ceiling of the courtroom?"
I shook my head. "I've always been a little... preoccupied in that room."
"Look at it when you get a chance. It shows the clouds opening, the golden angels falling to what lay below. The Earth. They became known as the fallen, banished from Heaven." He explained. "After humans were created, an angel, Lucifer, grew envious of their free will. He saw how they were able to choose their own paths in life. Lucifer was a Knower, and so he was able to spread this jealousy to other angels, they trusted him because of his supposed knowledge. It was mainly Searchers that sided with him, the ones who witnessed the free will of the humans the most. Readers sided with him too, apparently seeing the truth to his words. And the Knowers, many of whom were frequently around humans in Heaven, and envied their constant state of relaxation. Very few Guardians joined him, we enjoy serving the humans. Though we did lose a couple who believed they could better help humans with free will. A few Cordials sided with him too, because Heaven housed rotten humans along with the good, making Heaven no better than Earth."
I was hanging onto his words, eager to learn their history. "During his rebellion, God was angered. He forced all of the angels to choose a side. Many sided with Lucifer, and many with God. There were some who simply refused a side and were punished for it."
"Punished how?" I asked, frowning.
"Lucifer took away their eyesight." He explained. "They are part of the fallen too, but Lucifer doesn't associate with them. After all of the angels had chosen, Lucifer tried to mark out his territory. He chose his half of the cloudsoil, and it began to turn gold – all of the angels that allied with him have golden wings now. But God wasn't happy with that, he didn't find it acceptable that they should share the cloudsoil. God was their creator, he didn't appreciate the rebellion. He named Lucifer 'Satan' and banished him and the host of angels that took his side."
"We were all there, gathered on opposite sides of the clearing. The cloudsoil began to break away, a giant crack opened in the soil, right where Lucifer's angels stood. They fell through, all the way to Earth. And that's where they've been ever since. Cursed to forever roam."
"Is it possible that I've come across them before? How many of the angels sided with him? How many fell?" I asked, shocked.
He shook his head. "I doubt it. Your angel genes weren't activated until recently. Around half of the angels fell."
I nodded, thinking back to how many rooms I had seen in the towers, that seemed to have been deserted.
"Do you think I'd have turned out differently? If I'd been activated by... by the wrong side."
"All of the angels made a choice for who to side with. You get to make that choice too. I don't think it would have changed who you are. It's possible to swap to Satan's side, but you could never go back through the portal again."
"I'd choose Heaven." I said, "The good side."
Acacius sighed. "It isn't that simple. It's a choice between two options, not necessarily good and bad. Heaven would want you to choose them, but so would the fallen. It is your choice."
"I see." I couldn't see how angels that defied God could be anything but bad. "Do the fallen have the same rules as Heaven does?"
I was wondering if perhaps any Nephilim had been born to the fallen and allowed to live. I hoped that there were – it felt like a burden to be the only one alive of a species.
Acacius seemed to understand what I was really asking. "There have been no Nephilim born to the fallen. They don't have rules, so they are free to mate with humans, but they tend to lack the control necessary to keep the human alive. Physically they are no different to the angels, but thousands of years of free will can truly affect the mind."
"They are dangerous. You would do well to be wary of them. I expect that they would not react well to the knowledge of your existence."
As it turned out, he was right.
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