18:21.
england was a lot colder than lyon. its chilled breeze wafted through the evening air, rustling the leaves of the numerous plants, dipping in between the frequencies of the soft wind and the dull humming of the earth. created a platform of serenity for the state of mind. coincided with the simmering rays of the late heat.
baekhyun took every aspect of the garden in. everything about this place was foreign; the country and its elements. the green nature around him offered a comforting sanctuary for his mind. and for her. it brought forth an entirely new backdrop.
had to comprehend it all in a different light.
but she was here. unsure, unsteady, but amazingly forgiving. soft features said it all. her eyes and vision drifted across the horizon, taking it all in, too. and he was so grateful, he could barely comprehend the magnitude of the situation. his hands wanted to be touching her skin, thanking her, loving her the way it should be.
sat, the two of them, next to each other in the garden chairs. roma with one leg crossed over the over, pale, fading jeans and a large sweatshirt, a cup of tea in between her palms, glasses resting on her head and long hair tied up at the back. her eyes had wandered into the slippery, temperamental expanse up above them as he had been thinking all of these things, staring straight up.
he noticed, now. the sky, and everything.
the reflection from the gathered streak of clouds--the indigo, the violet, the blotchy white--touched the skin of her face gently, slipping across the sharper edges and dilating the lines of exhaustion present beneath her shining orbs. she had a faint smile painted across her pink lips, as her eyes closed, ever-so slowly. breeze fluttered her hair. took a sip of her tea.
baekhyun looked up, too. the swirling mass of various dividing blue shades and fades swam pleasantly across the fading horizon, a blur of desire and reality.
focused in: lines blurred. as if he wanted them to. he twisted his vision. the colours in the sky span in circles. he felt roma's shoulders hunch slightly, next to him, lips falling open alongside the gush of the strong, fresh wind. she was looking properly.
he placed a hand gently onto her arm. she didn't move her vision.
continued to swim, amidst all of the variant hues. baekhyun creased the corners of his eyes. touched her chilled skin. indigo waves of pulsating colour crashed around before them, up above, fading and diluting the gorgeous blue shades.
baekhyun switched. turned his attention onto roma.
the sky stopped.
roma's gaze was averted briefly, glancing downwards, wrapping her fingers tightly around her mug. observed her with a soft aura.
she made eye contact with him.
careful attention.
allowed him to gently intertwine their fingers. soft skin against his own, rubbing his thumb caressingly along her hand. watched her with total focus.
"do you want another cup of tea?" she enquired gently, squeezing her hand tighter against his.
adorable; sweet face puckered into a faint smile, the defining features of her face glowing in the evening shine. pink lips and the bluest, biggest eyes he'd ever, ever, seen.
"nah, i'm alright, thanks," he responded with a careful but meaningful beam, softly accentuated.
she nodded.
placed her mug down onto the table.
the sun was present, but mildly subdued, in a way that permitted baekhyun to fully relax for the first time in a long time. he breathed in out and pleasantly. he couldn't believe the emotions he was experiencing. complete and utter confusion, yet, at the same time, a new form of clarity that washed over his being, like a gushing wave.
"mum will be home from work, soon," she announced quietly, finger travelling over his hand. circling and drawing patterns.
her mother.
baekhyun smiled back, but he couldn't help the thoughts that gathered at the back of his mind. pleasing roma's mother was important to him. he didn't know what she would be like. and he hadn't had to deal with this process in quite a while, particularly in this situation.
"she won't mind me being here?" he questioned, carefully and softly, his fingers returning her gesture.
roma let out a light breath and smiled.
"no, she won't...i mean, it'll be nice for her, i think," she responded, giggling slightly. averted her gaze to the side.
baekhyun looked at her.
"what do you mean?"
roma had an odd smile painted across her pale features. a slight smirk, perhaps, or even a wistful glance towards the back of the green garden.
"as in...yeah. she'll be fine," roma decided, squeezing baekhyun's hand slightly.
her eyes observed with focus and with distance at how baekhyun clasped hold of her fingers, bringing her hand up to his lips, and placing a gentle and drawn-out kiss across the goose-pimpled skin. the sun was opaque and present, but the bluish, tinted chills had taken over, surrounding the fading, yellow rays with an indigo sensation.
baekhyun let go, and roma shivered, pulling her arms in closer around her body. huddled together. he basked in the vision of the paling brilliance of the sun reflecting off of her face; soft and almost white, delicate and pink lips, glittering turquoise eyes that held a mysterious and complex sheen.
"let's go inside," baekhyun suggested, gathering himself, starting to pick up the things from the table-top.
roma nodded in agreement, doing the same.
the kitchen was gloomy but comforting, shading the evening with a familiar haze, as the sound of the silence was broken by the clinking of the mugs and dirty dishes against the metallic sink, and the trudging of their footsteps, and the gush of running water.
she'd shut the back door, allowing herself to slip into the shadows that the furniture and the slither of sky from outside had created. put her book down that had been clutched in her palm.
stood by the sink.
baekhyun felt, often in these quiet moments, when the only train of speech and thought is the one in your mind, he could hardly comprehend everything.
drawn into her; his arms instinctively wrapped around her small body from behind, chin resting on the sharp extent of her shoulder, lips against the shell of her ear, soft skin against his breath. felt the tension release, only after a few seconds, as her body relaxed into him, as if nothing had changed.
time seemed to pass in long moments.
the drip of the tap, against the basin.
the unsteady rhythm of her breaths.
the crazy feeling in his head and his chest.
she turned, on the spot, lips millimetres away from his own. glossy eyes staring right at him; trying to decipher him, or to find the right words to fill the heavy but okay quiet. he couldn't believe how someone could be like her, so forgiving and accepting. he wanted to speak, but was silenced by the kiss she pressed to his lips.
slow and gentle, and her arms came up to entwine at the back of his head, his own hands travelling down to clasp her properly. became a bit too heated, too soon. had missed her so much.
mouth and tongue, her back hitting the counter, heads cocked to each side.
and then the sudden sound of gravel beneath tyres, and the rushing of a car engine.
immediately pulled back.
roma pulled the blinds back, separating the radiance, pouring in the light, letting go of him for a moment.
"that's mum," she exhaled against him, hastily pressing a kiss to his lips one more time.
baekhyun chuckled at her reaction, but could sense that tightening feeling in the pit of his stomach. a renewal of nerves. hard to tell what was to come.
the sound of the car door shutting resonated within his chest.
she slipped momentarily from his grasp.
a woman entered the front door; pressed work trousers and shirt, light hair tied up, a worn expression on her pale face. until she realised, looking up, through the kitchen and at him. exchanged a glance between the the two of them. he felt a slight knotting sensation. didn't know why he was so nervous.
she managed a slight smile. the gesture resonated with him; it looked exactly like roma's. not forced, just gentle and sweet and a little unsure. baekhyun did his very best to appear friendly and welcoming, returning her beam with an even wider grin, greeting her.
"hello," her mum said, still unsure, dropping her bag slowly to the ground.
roma broke the space of silence, moving forward, filling the gap.
"hey, mum. this is baekhyun."
she said it softly, enunciating his name so that perhaps her mum could understand. roma's mum held out her hand for him to shake, which he did, smiling still and gesturing firmly. make a good impression.
her mum flitted glances in between the two of them; appeared slightly flustered. baekhyun didn't like that. wanted her to be comfortable and accepting of the idea of him. roma squeezed his hand; that reassured him. perhaps she was. perhaps she was indifferent, or perhaps she did trust him after all.
baekhyun squeezed her hand back.
"nice to meet you," she replied sweetly, her expression widening.
he could breathe again.
"and you," he responded.
roma was smiling gently, also a little undecided. couldn't tell whether her mum was okay or not.
"i met him when i was abroad, mum. in lyon," roma continued to explain.
"hm, yes, i figured," she replied, continuing to smile, arms crossed over her chest.
"just coming over to visit her before university," baekhyun managed to get in.
his smile was unsteady. throat constricted at the thought of all of the things that he couldn't and would never be able to tell her. all of the journeys and long flights and different, wavering landscapes and climates. could never know.
and, yeah. roma was staying here, now. at university in london.
baekhyun felt uneasy.
didn't want to think.
"that's really sweet."
roma was nodding, folding her lips, twitching her foot.
her mum sidled past the two of them, reaching for the kettle. not for the first time, the sound of the water gushing penetrated the heavy and tinted silence. roma's arm brushed baekhyun's.
"so...think we're gonna head upstairs, mum."
"okay, darling. will you be wanting dinner?"
"it's alright, we already ate," she beamed, stepping one foot ahead of baekhyun, while simultaneously grabbing his hand and beginning to drag him from the kitchen.
"alright, then."
her wavering voice was left to filter into the background, as roma was giggling under her breath, and pushing for baekhyun to go upstairs. he was suddenly drawn from his own deep thoughts, chuckling along quietly, too, their feet scurrying against the beige, dull carpet.
it wasn't until her bedroom door was shut that she collapsed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and laughing into his t-shirt. she sighed heavily, and baekhyun couldn't figure out why.
"roma, what's up?" he laughed, holding back her shoulders lightly so he could read her expression.
wide lips and sparkling eyes.
"that was awkward," she giggled harder, holding onto either side of her head.
"i'm sorry," he laughed.
"no, not your fault," she continued, wrinkles forming at the crinkles of her eyes. "but it went well, she liked you."
"what, really?" he asked.
roma nodded frantically.
"how can you tell? we barely spoke."
a deep breath from her.
"she just did. i know."
baekhyun had to trust her. he did, of course.
"mum's not the most sociable, you know."
he merely nodded, wrapping his arms around her and bringing her closer, kissing the top of her head. she hugged him back just as tightly. the blueish tints from outside seeped in through the open window, colouring the faded couple and background in its path. everything seemed at ease and at peace again.
with the radiance shining in, he felt her relax against him. tried to control it.
their evening was spent much the same; sat on her bed this time, exchanging stories and memories and funny things to say, and baekhyun could tell that roma was happier than she had been in a while. soft expressions and wild gestures with her hands, and her face was all alight, and it made him so happy just hearing her speak so excitedly on the subject matter.
as the natural light from outside subsided, so did her energy. as did his. glazed-over eyes observed gently as the sound of her mother working quietly downstairs could be heard, and roma watched baekhyun as his hand moved in slow but swift motions through the atmosphere, parting the blue walls, fingertips igniting the thick space.
could see the hold he had on her.
continued to dim. later on into the night.
the stars proved no light, but baekhyun's eyes and gestures did. alight with fire and love and anything and everything that could be named in between. her legs were splayed across his, his chest, as well, her finger tracing circles against the pulsating warmth of his skin. leaving kisses along any expanse bare to her that she could.
baekhyun turned to his side, revelling in the sensation. counted in his head. the lamp on her bedside table was shut off, at the blink of his eye, plunging the room into darkness. but his eyes shone.
the open curtain let some of the fading natural light slip in.
roma kissed the corner where his shoulders met his neck.
eyelashes fluttered back.
he always had to be careful with her.
almost darkness, as she pulled her sweater off, leaving her bare, hair tumbling in cascades over her shoulders. sapphire orbs. baekhyun leant up, to trail soft touches across her chest and collar bones. bucked his hips forward. roma let out a broken sigh.
"baekhyun," she mumbled.
"hmm?" he said back into her hair, playing with the ends, gently moving with his lower-half.
"what about my mum?"
he let out a light and gentle chuckle against her lips.
hands moved down, to squeeze her, hard.
"be quiet, then," he enunciated slowly.
t-shirt removed and his hand hovering over the place that made roma roll her head and eyes back, mouth pressed to her neck. her hands were frantic, as usual, everywhere, uncontrolled. flashes of light; could see that she had her teeth pressed into her lip, to stop any noise slipping out.
he could see the stars. and the planets. orbiting.
skin was soft as all other articles of clothing were gone; her legs wrapped tightly around his back. she sighed heavily, as he fit perfectly, his eyes not leaving hers. wanting to watch her every reaction. so gentle, as if she would suddenly fade away. into the stars and the moon and the tranquil aura of the navy-night sky.
fingers clung to his back. his arms hoisted her legs higher. careful. the sky hung like a draped curtain over their two figures. she used his shoulder to subdue her sounds. baekhyun was slow but meaningful, whispering and kissing, promising her everything that was within his realm.
he could feel the sensation building up, the fire and the passion--bright orange and alight, right in front of him. roma could, too, her hands clamouring for him, and he kissed her long and hard as the emotion tumbled through both of them. bodies shaking and backs tensed, muffled and coarse sighs falling inevitably from her lips.
a dashing line of bright white encircled the squared corners of the room: abnormal. travelling the wide space, roma's eyes following its every move. and he watched her, because she was all his vision could properly focus on.
her hand on his face, as she leant up and lightly kissed him. and the line wavered, like a wave, undulating as if it were a fluid. it patterned the wall, a juxtaposition to the corners plunged into darkness.
the night sky was black.
but you could see the stars now; glimmering, destined to be shown.
eyes locked.
it really felt that everything was going to be okay, this time.
//
hey! so, yes.. i am sorry again!!! started my second year of uni now and it's more stressful because i'm doing extra courses etc so my apologies again for not finding the time to write.
radiance will be ending soon! i cannot believe it's even at almost 70 chapters :0 how did that happen!!! i appreciate every one of you who enjoys the story and lets me know what you think :))
but.. i am thinking of starting a radiance series. it's a bit ambitious perhaps but i first wanted to know what your thoughts are on that? do you think that would be cool? i already have ideas for a book for kai...
i also feel i haven't ever spoken much on here; would anybody be interested if i posted a q&a thingy? so maybe if anyone had q's about the book or just about me in general they could ask :)) let me know what you think of that as well!
thank u so much for taking the time to read again!
lots of love,
em xo