Sorry my dears! It has been a very very busy few months for me D:
Hope this makes up for it, despite being a filler!
“I can’t manage another bite!” Delany groaned, clutching her stomach.
There was a round of laughter at her admission.
I went back to poking my pancake with a fork.
There’d almost been an outcry when I’d only ordered one pancake, my friends asking (dead serious) if I was sick.
I’d rolled my eyes and scoffed, saying I’d eaten before I left that morning.
That was a lie.
My stomach was too knotted up to even consider a bite of food.
Why, God, why had I blurted that out to Calum of all people?
Was I trying to ruin his life a second time around?
“Shi? You ok?”
I glanced up into Calum’s eyes, clouded slightly with gentle concern.
I managed a smile. “Of course I am.”
The concern remained even as he smiled at me.
And I cursed inwardly because I could still remember how his concern looked.
I could still remember, clear as day, how his eyes would cloud with concern and his mouth would pinch whenever I was home late, or my phone had died, or I received hate messages from ‘fans’.
Concern had been the first emotion I’d experienced from Calum, when he’d found me crouched beside the lockers that first fateful day of year seven.
Concern from Calum was something I’d tried to avoid ever since.
I hated making him worry.
I forced my smile even brighter. “I promise.”
He relaxed and returned my smile, I tried not to wonder whether I was relieved that he didn’t push it or disappointed that he couldn’t read me as well as he once had.
“Can we play laser tag?” Jazmin’s eager voice broke into my thoughts and I glanced back up, placing my fork over my half-eaten pancake. “Just like old times?”
“What, you miss me winning all the time?” Luke smirked, flexing his muscles.
Michael slapped Luke’s bicep. “Luke Hemmings, you are the worst laser tag player I’ve ever seen. I always won!”
“Only because Jaz and Elliott were too busy making out to shoot anyone.” I piped up, winking at the two in question.
“Like you can talk.” Mike scoffed. “We could hardly pry you and Calum apart at the best of times, let alone in the dark.” There was a short pause and his lips fell open in shock at his own words. “Crap, Shi, I’m…”
To his surprise, I laughed.
“We were terrible, weren’t we?” I nudged Calum’s arm.
His momentary concern melted away into a wide grin, showing off his white teeth. “I almost felt bad for them sometimes. Mainly because they weren’t getting any of this.”
He gestured down his front with a smirk and we all burst into laughter.
So what if my own was a little forced?
“And what about Sandy and Ash?” Elliott demanded, his cheeks still a little red. “Those two were the worst.”
“No, no, no.” I countered. “You and Jaz. Hands down. The most make-out couple I have ever had the misfortune to know.”
“Mike, do you remember Holly Blower?” Luke cut in, chuckling.
Michael groaned loudly and put his face in his hands. “Don’t remind me.”
“Holly Blower?” Delaney asked, lips quirking. “The girl who went around telling everyone you were her boyfriend?”
“The one and only.” Luke laughed at Mike’s discomfort. “Then the idiot went and made it worse by getting so drunk he couldn’t see straight and hooking up with her at Harry’s eighteenth birthday party!”
“I thought she was Philippa Harrow.” Michael’s voice was muffled through his hands. “They had the same coloured hair!”
“And the similarities ended there.” Calum grinned cheekily. “I still think you knew it was Holly.”
We all laughed uproariously at Michael’s obvious discomfort. “Ok, ok. No need to continue this conversation.”
“So…laser tag?” Ashton asked, with his usual tact.
“On it!” We all chorused.
Delaney stared at us as we all broke into laughter. “I am so glad I wasn’t close with you in high school, you weirdos.”
Luke pouted at her. “Delaney, you don’t mean that!”
She giggled, shuffling slowly away and then squealing as Luke launched himself at her, collecting her protectively in his arms and kissing her all over her cheeks.
I felt my hands curl into fists under the table.
Was it horrible of me to be jealous of my friends’ happiness?
Yes, yes it probably was.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” I stood up abruptly and walked away from the cheerful group feeling sick to my stomach.
When I entered, I headed straight to the sink and gripped the edge of the basin tightly.
Don’t cry, don’t you dare cry.
“You ok?”
I opened my eyes to see Jaz standing next to me, concern on her face.
I nodded. “Just needed a minute.”
“It’s pretty weird, isn’t it?”
“Definitely weird.”
“I haven’t see you this happy in a while.”
“I’m happy around you guys. I’m happy with Drew.”
Jaz shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. “Not the same as you were with Calum.”
I sighed. “I know. I don’t whether this is better or worse than him hating me.”
To my surprise, Jaz laughed. “You’re ridiculous, Shiloh.”
“What?”
“Calum could never hate you.”
“Jazmin.” I sighed. “We’ve been over this. I broke his heart, remember that?”
“He was hurt, sure. But he doesn’t hate you. I swear. Whenever we saw Ashton and Sandy, they’d always tell us that Calum asked how you were, he just didn’t want you to know he asked.”
I shut my eyes briefly. “That really didn’t help.”
Jaz sighed. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” I opened my eyes and smiled. “I’m ok. Really. Let’s go play laser tag!”
Jaz grinned. “I am so gonna beat your ass, Shiloh Fletcher!”
“Bring it on!”
*
It was just like old times.
Despite us all being of adult age now, we were running around like kids on a sugar high.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter at Luke’s pout as I hit him with my laser and his vest lit up, or at Jaz and Elliott’s cries of surprise as their vests lit up with my laser shots mid-kiss.
I had caught nearly everyone at least four times by now, except for Calum. I hadn’t seen him at all, actually, which surprised me. Cal never was the best at stealth.
Suddenly, my vest lit up like a firework and I looked up with surprised eyes to meet Calum’s triumphant gaze.
“Gotcha!” Cal cheered.
I grinned at him, pointing my laser gun in his direction. “I am so gonna get you for that.”
He took off and I was in hot pursuit. The glow faded off my vest, allowing me to follow him stealthily.
Cal rounded a corner and getting my laser gun ready, I followed.
Unfortunately, he was prepared and we shot at the exact same moment, our vests lighting up instantaneously.
We burst out laughing at the same moment, and it was so wonderfully familiar that my chest ached.
“Gotcha back!” I said, cheerily.
“Yeah, as soon as I got you!”
“I got you first!”
“No you didn’t!”
“Did too!”
“Did not!”
“Did too…oh.”
Suddenly, Calum’s face was only centimetres from my own. His dark eyes were soft, full of warmth. A smile tickled his lips. “Did not.”
His breath ghosted over my lips, sending a shiver down my spine.
Drew, don’t forget Drew.
But the way he was looking at me almost made me believe the last year hadn’t happened.
Maybe it hadn’t. Maybe I’d dreamt the whole break up and Drew and Calum’s injury.
Maybe I’d made it all up.
A hallucination.
Because none of it seemed real as Calum’s hands slid to my hips.
“Did too.” I whispered.
His breath hitched. “Shiloh.”
But just as he leaned in, the lights flicked on overhead, signaling the end of the laser tag game and making both our vests light up again.
I blinked, coming to my senses with a gasp.
Calum’s eyes widened and we both leaped backwards, releasing each other.
What did we almost do?
“I’m sorry.” I blurted. “I didn’t…I mean…”
“No, no, it’s ok.” Calum looked uncertain, running a hand through his dark, messing it up. “My fault. I forgot…the accident.”
“And Aria.” I reminded him, gently. “And…Drew.”
He nodded, still looking upset and confused.
My heart clenched.
The Calum I knew was almost never uncertain, always kept his cool.
He never liked letting people see him as anything other than happy and relaxed. I was one of the few people he’d allow to see him otherwise, but even then, he was remarkably in control for such a young age. Sure, he’d be angry or sad, but he was never uncertain. He always knew why he felt that way. This was…bewildering.
“Do you trust me, Shiloh?” Fifteen-year-old Calum Hood was cheeky and fearless.
I grinned at the teasing glint in his eye. He knew I trusted him, more than I trusted most people, but he still wanted to make me say it.
“Of course I do.” I told him, feeling warm at the smile he sent me at my words. “But I don’t trust this activity.”
“Its just rock climbing.”
“I don’t want to climb up rocks.”
“But I think you’ll like it.”
“There’s this thing called the ground. We’ve got a great relationship and I don’t think it wants to be cheated on by some rocks in a wall.”
“You do say some rubbish.”
“Learnt from the best.” I stuck my tongue out and he rolled his eyes.
“Shiloh. I promise I won’t let you fall. Do you trust me not to let you fall?”
I bit my lip and met his eyes. “Yes.”
“Good. You can trust me, yeah? Now come on.”
“Shiloh?”
I blinked. Ashton was standing in front of me, vague concern in his eyes.
Calum was gone.
“Are you ok? You were spacing out.” Ash said.
I nodded quickly. “Yeah, sorry. Bit dizzy for a second.”
“Let’s get out of here, you can sit down.”
“Ok.”
I let Ash lead me out of the room and I hung up my vest and laser on the hooks in the storage room.
We met up with the others outside, they were chattering animatedly.
Calum looked tense, his eyes blank.
Luke was watching him anxiously.
I steeled myself and marched forward to join them.
“What now?” Delaney asked, smiling widely. “We’ve done a ferry ride, breakfast and laser tag. What next?”
What next indeed, I thought, dully. Where the hell do we go from here?