He was there, sitting next to me. His warmth radiating out into a colourful aura, surrounding us. Never in my life had I felt so comfortable. So at peace with where I was.
It had been a week since Paul and I had our - what Jared had called a date - on the beach. The boys had all been quite busy, alongside with Sam, but whenever I had the chance to see Paul, he always kept close.
Everyone had been on edge today. Emily was worried, even though she didn't say anything about it when I had asked, I could see it in her eyes. Sam had been more serious than I'd ever seen him. And Jacob, out of all of them, Jacob was the most wrecked. His eyes tired, not smiling once. His brow furrowed, sitting tensely behind the table. It was dead silent, as everyone sat there, seemingly thinking about something I didn't know about.
From the corner of my eye I could see Paul looking at me, with his head he motioned for me to follow him into the backyard. I didn't hesitate once, desperate to be close to him again.
He was as serious as the others had been. His ebony eyes anxious as he looked at me. Yet his gaze held so much passion. One thing that I had learned this week - the passion had only been there whenever he looked at me. I didn't know what he felt towards me, and even though I was still confused out of my mind, I hadn't asked any questions.
We stood there in the backyard, looking at each other, not saying anything. He was the first to break our gaze, staring at the forest now, his face turned angrier.
"Can you promise me one thing, Ari?" His voice was cautious. I nodded, realizing quickly he wasn't looking at me.
"Yes." I whispered. Unsure of what the promise would be, and if I could keep it. I had already broken the promises I had made myself.
He looked back at me, his eyes burning into mine. "Promise me you won't go to the forest alone."
I squinted my eyes and furrowed my brow in confusion. I loved the forest and for the past week not a morning had gone by where I hadn't taken a walk through the thick woods, to the beach and back. Not once during this week had he warned me about that, why now.
"Why?" I asked. He looked frustrated.
"Look, it's dangerous out there." He said, raising his tone now. "The last thing I need is for you to get hurt."
"Paul, I've been taking walks in the forest for the entire week. Alone. Why do you suddenly care now?" I stepped closer to him, motioning my hand towards the woods that surrounded us.
He had grown even more frustrated, his hands curled into fists on both sides of his body. His breathing got heavier. "Ariah, I'm not going to ask you again." His tone laced with warning. "Stay out of the woods."
I sighed, frustrated and defeated. I had nothing more to do but oblige and stick to his promise. As much as I disliked the idea of being stuck in the house from now on until God knows how long, I had no power against Paul's persuasion.
I looked at him once more, now angry with him for keeping me from the one thing that had helped me breathe and have some alone time, before turning back towards the house and walking to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I fell down on my bed and groaned. Nothing stood in the way of me and my thoughts now that I was in this room alone. I wished for my mother to be there, to help me calm down, as she had always done after my father's passing. I decided to close my eyes and breathe, but even that didn't help. I didn't know why or how I had gotten so angry at this simple promise I had been asked to keep. But somehow I did, and I had no way of changing it.
I sat up on my bed and decided to do something I had not done in years, yet it was something I had felt I needed to do in that moment.
I took out my sketchbook from the backpack I had stored under my bed, ripped out a paper and searched through the same bag for a pen, that I had thankfully found.
There I was, sitting on my bed in anger and sadness, writing a letter to my mother. The last letter I had written her had been years ago. She had answered to some, but they were never quite nice. I had stopped when things got worse with my uncle. He had forbid me from writing to her.
I sighed as I brought the pen to the paper.
Dearest Mother,
I know I haven't written in a while. I wish I could explain things to you, but you'd probably not understand, and quite frankly I don't want to put all this weight on you. Just know that I am okay now.
I am not living with my uncle anymore. A couple of nice people offered me to stay with them. I'm starting to feel happy here again. Things are finally falling back into place. I wish you were here to experience happiness with me again. I'm hoping to come visit you soon, now that I have the chance. I hope you'd like that too.
I visited the First Beach recently. Do you remember how we used to go there in the summers? It's still as beautiful as it was, and I'm blessed to hold as beautiful memories close to my heart. We'll visit there together again some day. I promise. I know how much you loved the ocean and the feeling of sand on your feet. I guess I got that from you.
How are you, mom? Sadly all the letters I received from you were destroyed. I'll explain when we get to see each other.
I'm safe, I'm fine. I miss you a̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶a̶d̶ a lot.
Yours,
Ariah
I folded up the paper and sighed. This small act of writing had calmed me down a lot, yet now sadness resided within me. It felt like I could never catch a break from my thoughts or my emotions. Sometimes I just wished to become numb to all of this. But I couldn't, and that was a part of being human. Learning to come to peace with that had been a challenge.
I walked downstairs, with the letter in hand, to find Emily in the living room. The guys had already left. I went and took a seat next to her.
I looked at her as she smiled back at me. Something was wrong.
"Is everything okay?" I was now desperate to know what had been plaguing their minds. Why were the guys out so much? What was up with Jacob? Why was I prohibited from going to the woods alone?
Emily nodded. I didn't buy it. "Be honest with me, please." I pleaded now. More keen on knowing than I should've been. This all probably had been none of my business. "You've all been out of it ever since last night. I can see it. Sam has been out of the house more often, the guys are always busy. Jacob looks like death. Something is wrong."
She looked away as she sighed. "It's nothing to worry about, trust me." She softly spoke, deep in thought as if finding ways to explain to me what was wrong. "There's just a problem." She bit her lip as she looked back at me. I stared at her, confused, waiting for her to go on.
"There's... something out in the woods. They're trying to catch it before it does any more harm."
"Oh," I said as Emily looked out of the window again. "Like an animal? Is it bad?"
"You could say so yeah." It was evident Emily hesitated to tell me anything more. I had thought it was either because she didn't want me to feel unsafe or scared, or that Paul had told her not to say anything. Both cases were very possible, and very wrong.
I decided to lift the mood a little. Change the subject.
"Uhm, Em, do you happen to have an envelope?" She looked back at me now, realising I had held a piece of paper in my hands. "I wrote a letter to someone and I'd like to post it today, but I didn't have any." I smiled.
She smiled and nodded as she went off, soon to return with an envelope and some stamps. I thanked her and went back upstairs to look through my address book and wrote down the name and the address of the recipient, as well as mine. In a rush I threw on my hoodie alongside with my windbreaker and rushed downstairs again.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Em asked as she walked to the kitchen.
"No, thanks. I won't be long," I said as I smiled, eager to get out of the house now. I had remembered the Post Office to be near the First Beach, so getting there had not been a challenge. I didn't even mind walking in the rain, or in the dark.
"Are you sure? It's getting late." She said as if reading my mind as she opened the fridge. I assumed the boys would be back for dinner. I had no need for worrying. Paul had only mentioned the forest, nothing about walking to the Post Office and back.
"Yes, I'm sure, Em. Don't worry." I said as I started heading out the door. She ran behind me before I could get off the porch.
I turned around to see her handing me a pair of keys. "Take my car at least. I don't like the idea of you walking out here alone at night." I hadn't driven a car ever since I had come here, to La Push. I had always been the one to drive my uncle to places whenever he had been too drunk to get behind the wheel himself, not that being drunk had held him back much.
I took the keys from Emily, seeing how bad the weather had gotten and how dark it actually was, thinking about the fact that something lurked the woods here. Something I didn't know about, yet the thought of it had sent chills down my spine. "I'll be back soon." I said as I ran into Emily's small car.
The drive to the office wasn't as long as I had wished it to be, but it was anything to keep myself busy and not sit in the house all day. People were already leaving the offices by now, so I had to be quick. Thankfully the nice people had let me post my letter before they closed up. I felt a sense of relief. Both for doing something independently again, and for finally writing to my mother again. I smiled as I walked back to the car.
Besides me, there had been one other vehicle on the furthest side of the parking lot. It was oddly familiar, yet in the darkness I didn't quite recognize where I'd known the car from. With my stomach rumbling, I decided to head back to the Uley house.
a/n: 1k reads what?? honestly it may not be that much but it's a lot to me. i never expected anyone to read or even like this story, a rough draft of it had been sitting on my computer for the longest time and i was kinda unsure of posting it anywhere. i'm glad to see people actually reading this, thank youuu!!