Chapter Seventy-Seven:
A/n: Ah man, you have no idea how much I don't want to write this chapter. *Sigh* I wanted to at least get to chapter Eighty before finishing off this fic, but I couldn't really find a good way to do that.*sigh*This story has easily been one of my favorites to write for a multiple of reasons, and therefore, I'm going to miss writing this story. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favored, and followed this story. Each time I saw one of any one of those, it really made me smile. However, it will give me time to work on the other two parts of this story Field of Innocence, and Good Bye Blue Skies. So, there's an upside, but still. This story grew on me in such unexpected ways, you won't even believe it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless~! Happy Readings~!
The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
It was just barely a week later that Izami finally surcame to her injuries. It came so unexpectedly, but at the same time, everyone knew it was the inevitable. By this time, Izami's brothers were already set to arrive the next day, but Izami didn't make it for her brothers to give her a good bye. That's what hurt them the most.
Sasuke remained oddly quiet. It wasn't the type of calmness he normally seemed to have, but it was a scary type of calmness that everyone just knew secretly hid a storm underneath. People seemed more cautious about approaching him about anything, even Hikaru, who was normally a hot-head himself. The whole three days it took to prepare Izami for her funeral, Sasuke seemed oddly distant, and very quiet. It unsettled most everyone.
Hitomu was left confused. He was too young to understand the concept of death, and what it all meant. All that he understood from what Kakashi had told him was that his mother wasn't going to wake back up from her sleep, and that made the small boy very saddened. He would try to seek comfort from his father, but he seemed just as distant from the world as his mother. And that made the small boy more lonely than he could ever remember feeling. He was confused, and frustrated, and lonely, and so many other emotions that he didn't even know what to do with them all.
Kakashi, for his part, had been through this many times that he seemed to be the one most calm about this. However, that didn't mean that he still didn't feel the same type of unbearable sadness at Izami's death. But he knew what had to be done. He had to remain the calm one, and make sure everything was in place, which meant comforting Hitomu while Sasuke seemed to be in another place completely. Not that he found any fault with Sasuke's reaction. He understood it very well. He felt the same painful hole in his chest every time he was reminded of the rather hot-headed, lively Sato child he had raised into a capable shinobi. And that, filled him with all kinds of emotions he knew he couldn't show.
Izami's brothers were perhaps the most affected by her death, even Hikaru. Being the older brother, and clan leader, he felt the most responsible for letting all of this happen. He felt incredible anger, and accusation at nearly everyone. He blamed his late father and mother for making Izami come here when she was just a small child. If she had never been exposed to this life, she wouldn't have been exposed to Sasuke. She wouldn't have been taken by Orchimaru when she was sixteen. She wouldn't have died the way she did. She would have been safe. He also felt blame towards the Hokage. For letting her go on the mission, knowing all about Kabuto. He felt she minus well have just told her it was a suicide mission. He felt anger towards her teammates on the mission, especially Sasuke, who all could have done so much more to prevent any of this from happening. He even blamed his late sister. She could have had the opportunity to stay home, with her clan, and be safe, and happy, when she had the chance, but no. Instead, she chose to come back, and look what happened. She died as a result. Perhaps, though, most of the anger came from guilt. He had been hard on her for almost her entire life, but it wasn't like he hated her, as he was sure Izami must have thought millions of times. No, what person could honestly hate their younger sibling? Any of their siblings at all? No, he loved her. He loved her very dearly. He was only doing what he thought was best to insure that she would grow to be as strong as she could be. She was always such a fragile kid. Not particularly strong, but that had changed only slightly. He just wanted to give her a reason to become stronger so she could protect herself. Sure, looking back, perhaps it was too hard, but he thought it was best at the time. Hikaru only wanted her safety. Now, he would never again have the chance to tell her just what she actually meant to him, and that filled him with even more sadness, and anger.
Tachi, on the other hand, could feel almost nothing, and everything at the same time. There were times when he felt anger. Anger towards the Hokage. Towards Sasuke. Towards the medics. There were times when he felt sadness. Sadness whenever he would think, or remember, or be reminded of something that reminded him of Izami. They had always shared a special bond, like most twins often feel, and had thus always been particularly close. It was that bond he knew he was always going to miss, and would never have again. There were times when he'd feel guilt. Guilt for having drift away from his sister over the last few years, but they had both had so much happen. They both had kids. They both moved on with their lives. They both lived in separate villages, so of course there couldn't be regular contact, but still...He should have made more of an attempt. He should have made of an attempt to call everyday. Write. Do something than the occasional visit. He should have tried to make more contact. There times when he'd feel numb. Times, when he couldn't really feel anything, but just felt incredibly lost and confused. He just wanted this whole thing to be over with.
Everyone else that was in Izami's life, had their own emotional state as well. They all missed her, and were quiet saddened, but some were more affected than others. The ones that were perhaps more affected were Kiba, and Sakura. Kiba still really liked Izami, and felt an array of emotions when he heard about her death from Naruto. He was angry, mostly, and saddened, secondly. Sakura, on the other hand, also felt the very same emotions, and guilt all at the same time. As her medic, as a medic trained by the greatest medic in the world, she should have been able to do more, but in the end, she couldn't do anything. She never felt so useless as she did that morning of Izami's death.
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Three days after Izami was found dead, her funeral was held. There was a most recent picture of her, smiling widely, eyes closed, with her head tilted slightly. A bunch of flowers were lined up while most people stood, in various black outfits. Everyone had their own memories of her as they sat through the proceeding.
Kakashi remembered the first time he had met Izami. She was such a small child. A small, timid child. At the time, he wasn't even sure if she was capable of becoming a shinobi. Then, she gradually surprised him. As soon as she dropped her butt-face routine, she was energetic. She was lively. She had this urge to want to know everything. She was full of life. She was full of a energy that really brightened up his day. He watched she grew from a weak child to someone very capable, and strong-willed as any he could have hoped to have himself. He watched her go through the awkward stages of childhood, and adolescence where she was trying to figure herself out. Sure, there was a period that he had missed, but he had gotten over that guilt when she had slowly told him of things that happened. That seemed to take the guilt out of his mind. Still, he chose not to remember the sad things. He chose to focus on the happy things. As he looked at that picture, so many thoughts, feelings, and memories ran through his mind. It was just a jumble of thoughts that almost felt impossible to piece together.
"Kakashi-sama! Look, I made this for you!" An eleven year old Izami smiled as she handed him a crudely carved thing. He couldn't quite make out what the wooden blob was supposed to be.
"How...Nice." He commented. Izami frowned, and poked his chest.
"You don't even know what it is, do you?" Kakashi laughed a bit guilty, rubbing the back of his head." Well, gee, maybe if you put down those stupid books of yours, you could see it's clearly a dog's face!"
"It...It is?" Kakashi questioned, looking at the blob questionable. Izami blushed heavily.
"O-of course it is! Geez, if you're gonna make fun give it back!"
"No, no. I like it. I can see the dog now."
"Hmph. Liar." Izami had turned tail, and stormed off.
Kakashi smiled at the memory. He fingered the old thing in his pocket, clenching it tightly in his fist. The sound of her voice was almost too clear in his mind, and that sent a painful pang through his body. Instead, after that, he chose to wipe his mind clean, and not think about it at all.
Sasuke, on the other hand, had plenty of memories that ran through his mind. He thought about their first meeting. How annoyed he was by her. Their kiddy rivalry that seemed to subside when he met Naruto. He would think of her comforting smile that always seemed to calm him down, and make his heart flutter slightly. He thought of the time they were both with Orchimaru, though he tried his damnest not to remember that time, but it was honestly one of the times they actually spent extensive time with one another.
"I'll show you a pretty cool trick if you want to, Sasuke-kun." Izami told him one day, smiling at him. She moved her purple tang top strap up onto it's place on her shoulder, and smiled broadly at him again. He merely looked at her coolly.
"I have to train."
"So? Orichimaru-san wants us to spend time together coz...I have no idea why, but we should do it. What say ya?" Izami smiled hopefully. Sasuke looked at her, and then sighed heavily, looking away.
"Yeah. Fine."
"Sweet! Follow me!" She grabbed at his hand, and began leading him. As much as he wanted to object, he just couldn't bring himself to do such a thing. Instead, he merely rolled his eyes, and let her lead the way.
Of course, Sasuke couldn't help but feel sad at the memories that ran through his mind. Every smile. Every kiss. Every touch. Everything ran through his mind, bringing different emotions with them.
"No matter what happens between us, Sasuke-kun, no matter where life takes us, I just want you to be happy. Just remember that, ok? I know you'd want the same for me. So, I want the same for you. I would want that even if you didn't want that for me. Just don't forget me, ok? I know I could never forget you."
"Pss. Don't be stupid."
That was the last conversation they had ever had before they left on the mission. He remembered the night very clearly. It was right after that he had kissed her. It was the last time they were together. It filled him with sadness again as he looked down at his son, who was frowning, crying. Sasuke bent down, and hugged his son tightly, eyes closed tightly to prevent the tears from falling out of his own eyes, but surely that was just the rain coming down his face. Right?
Tachi stood there beside Sasuke as he hugged his son. Natsumi was in his arms, looking onward at the aunt she barely knew. She looked a great deal like Izami with her unruly light brown hair, and green eyes, but his daughter had inherited the calm, analytic nature that most people in his family seemed to have. He smoothed out his daughter's hair, feeling a bit numb as memories ran through his mind. He remembered how inquisitive Izami used to be when she was younger. She would question just about anything, and everything. She was always looking for reasons to make others notice her.
"Tachi-kun, what do you suppose happens to us when we die?" She asked one night before Izami had left to the Leaf. Tachi looked at her, confused. They were pointing out constellations in the sky, and now she was talk about death.
"I dunno. What do you think happens?" Izami shrugged slightly, pointing a finger upwards, and drawing random patterns in the sky.
"I think we go up in the sky, and live happily ever after."
"Really?"
"Mhmm. I think the sky would be nice to live. The stars must be so pretty." Tachi laughed slightly, and shook his head.
"Ok. If you say so."
Tachi looked up at the raining sky, biting his lip slightly.
Are you watching all this, Izami-chan? Are you? He questioned, looking forward again. He looked at his daughter, hugging her just a little bit tighter.
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Once the proceedings were over with, everyone was left to their own thing. Sakura had left with Naruto. Sasuke and Kakashi walked with Tachi, Hiraku, and their families, nobody saying anything. Sasuke held tightly to Hitomu while Tachi seemed to hold Natsumi particularly close to him, as if both fathers were afraid their children would disappear if they didn't hold on tight enough.
"We'll let the rain pass, and then we'll be on our way." Hikaru said softly, eyes down cast as they sat in the living room of Sasuke's home.
"That won't be until tommrrow at the latest." Kakashi mentioned. Hikaru shrugged slightly.
"That's fine. I...We should really thank you all for everything you did for my sister while you could." Sasuke looked up at Hikaru surprised. Hikaru looked at Sasuke." Especially you two. You two really meant alot to her."
"And she meant alot to us." Kakahsi replied. Hikaru looked at him, and nodded slightly.
"Right, well anything we can do to help you two, don't hesitate. Especially when it comes to Hitomu-kun." Hitmou was still in Sasuke's arms, but was now snoring softly. Sasuke looked down at his son, and then held him tightly. Hitomu groaned in his sleep, but didn't do anything else. Sasuke relaxed his grip after a few minutes.
"We won't forget. Don't forget, the invitation extends to you as well." Hikaru nodded slightly, looking down at his hands.
"We should get some sleep." With that, everyone nodded, and left to their own places to sleep.
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The next day, everyone said their good byes to one another. Izami's family promised to visit more, and Sasuke promised to let Hitomu visit them on his own some day. As the families parted, Sasuke felt oddly disconnected. The one person he cared about more than anything else was now gone forever. He wasn't sure what to do, but he knew he had to remain strong. He had a child to take care of. He looked at Hitomu with a determined look.
Because you're the only thing I have left of Izami. Because you're a piece of her, I swear I'll never let anything happen to you. I won't lose you like I lost her. Nothing will ever happen to you. You'll be protected. I swear, I'll always protect.
Sasuke silently vowed this to himself, and it was a promise he would always keep. No matter what happened.