Niall's POV*
"Niall!" Khloe pulled my hair harder, causing me to groan against her. I glanced up, just in time to see her back lift off the sheets as her eyes clenched together and her mouth hung ajar.
She fell back trembling, her breathing now deep, but fast; air filling her lungs completely as she came down from her high. She lazily pulled the white sheet over herself, looking up to me with tired eyes.
I licked my fingers clean before staring back at her. I took in the deep amber color of her eyes that would always remind me of fall. Like ginger and pumpkin spice.
There was a new flame that was lit. It wasn't the normal spark or glow that they held. This was so much more...deeper. This was..different.
A very bad different.
Guilt caught ahold of me, pressing into my neck as if it was trying to strangle me. My throat was closing and my neck muscles straining as panic started to set in as I continued to stare at the girl in front of me, thinking of what we, no I- had just done.
This was not supposed to happen.
She can not happen.
I hadn't noticed that I started to lean towards her until I'd snapped back into reality, realizing that this girl..she did something to me. Something that was very out of my control. And that scared me.
I have a world. My own world that I have created and built from the ground up, and everything in that world is under my complete and total control. So when and where along the road did Khloe fall into this?
She came in and has just destroyed everything I had set up. She made me.. this. With her deep brown eyes, chipped nail polish, loose fitting t-shirts, converse, all of which I've never had. Of which I'm not used to.
I'm used to having the best and always the best. The girls who have skinny figures, long hair to pull on, girls who know what they're doing, and who wear tight clothing that made their chest stick out.
Where did Khloe fit into this? Yes, she's fucking beautiful, but she's not this, and that drives me to the very tip of insanity.
I'm used to being in control of my actions and what happens between a girl and I. Of knowing where things are heading.
I get a girl, mark her mine, have sex with her, and boom, she's gone.
Why the hell is Khloe different?
She's not. Or well, not for long.
I pulled back, straightening myself out. I ran a hand through my hair, clearing my throat to mainly try to ease my thoughts.
After pulling out a shirt from her bag, and a pair of black shorts, I placed them on the bed beside her, along with her undergarments.
This has gone too far.
I need something, anything, to get my mind off this. This was bad. This was all a bad idea. I was starting to feel suffocated as I stared down at Khloe who was still wrapped in the sheets.
Say something, Niall. You need to get out of here.
"I'll go make lunch. " Wait, what?
I quickly exited the room, shutting the door just before a breathless 'yeah.' was mumbled.
My hands were pressed into my hair, scrunching at the ends as my feet began to trail across the floor in the kitchen.
The way she said my name,...it wasn't like before. It was softer.
The way she looked at me through her full set of dark lashes. Loving.
The way she reacted so much to my touch. Full out.
This is all way too much. None of this was supposed to happen.
I went down. I actually went down on her! I never, and I mean never go down on women. That's too affectionate in my eyes. Too intimate for my liking.
Why the hell is she so different?! And what the hell has she done to me?!
Oh God, I need a drink.
I quickly paced over to the fridge, reaching into the top cupboard above it. Inside lined all different bottles, all different sizes. I grabbed the bottle of Captain Morgan which had been sitting in the front.
Honestly, I wasn't even paying attention to what it was until I felt the horrid burning and the horrible taste against my tongue.
I took another drink, shaking my head slightly as it slid down my throat, before I quickly rolled the cap over the rim, tightening the seal once again. After placing it back into the cupboard, I slammed the door, resting my hands against the edge of the counter to support my weight as my head hung down.
She's gotta go. I can't do this any longer.
I'll make her lunch, and tell her that after volleyball tonight she has to go. That's what I'll do.
I quickly grabbed a can of soup from the shelf, knowing that she wasn't going to eat much.
Once it was done cooking on the stove top, I grabbed a bowl, emptying some into it and placed it on the table.
"Khloe! Your food is on the table!" I yelled, sitting on the counter away from the table so that way I was tempted to do something.
When she didn't come out, I quickly made my way back into my room. Fucking great. She was passed out, dressed in nothing but her underwear, her hair resting across her shoulders and down her back.
I leant against the wooden frame of the door, taking in each curve of her body. The way her shoulders were a little more broad, but her waist was very tiny, only to show the bigger curve of her hips. An hour glass figure, that's definitely hers. I watched as with each breath she took, her back would raise then gently fall in order to start that pattern once again.
Finally, when I'd figured that I'd been a creep for long enough, I sighed and backed away, shutting the door once more.
I don't know why Khloe has my head spunning like she does, but I don't like it. I don't like the feeling of uncertainty.
I let out a deep breath, pulling my books out of my bag. Might as well get some work done.
*
"Hey, Gemma, I'll call you back, yeah?" Liam's voice echoed through the small room as he shut the door, kicking his shoes off. He gave me a nod before glancing over and realizing that Khloe was finally out of her room as she stood by the table, gathering her volleyball stuff.
It took about an hour and a half of convincing to get her to actually get up and go to volleyball. Only the first practice and she's already planning on skipping.
"Look what the cat dragged out." Khloe's eyes quickly lifted to be met with Liam's.
She smiled. "I was kind of forced out.." She sighed, zipping her black duffel bag before placing the strap on her shoulder. "Were you just talking to Gemma?"
"Uh, yeah."
"Did she say anything.. about, you know.."
He made face, shaking his head as his hand scratched his neck. He's lying. "Not really, just that she wanted to know that you were safe."
Khloe nodded, a frown taking over. "Okay, uh.." she glanced to her phone, "I gotta go, but I'll see 'ya around." Liam gave a soft smile which she returned as she slipped into her hot pink Asic running shoes.
"Niall, are you coming?" She smiled at me, adjusting her bag.
"I- Uh.." If I go, I guess this would give me a chance to end things sooner.. "Yeah." I slid out of my chair, closing my books up. I piled my papers into a folder, placing them and my note book on top of the books.
She smiled bigger as I walked over to her, slipping on my shoes. I placed my hand on the small of back out of habbit, I guess, feeling as she leant in to me while we walked out of the room. More than usual, I should add.
"Are you okay?" Khloe asked as I had opened the metal door for her. "You're quiet, which is unlike you."
"I'm fine." Just figuring out a way to tell you a lot without hurting you. I gave a small smile, following her down the steps of the old rustic staircase.
She leant her head against my shoulder, wrapping her small arms around my left one as we made our way across the parking lot towards my car. If my mind wasn't so fogged with everything, I probably would have enjoyed the gesture. But, with the thought of her developing feelings for me that I couldn't return, and the thoughts of how everything had gone too far for my liking, I wasn't able to even look down at her. This was becoming too touchy for me. Too affectionate.
I shook her off, opening the door for her. She climbed into the black car, buckling up as I made my way to the driver's side.
The car ride to the other side of campus where the athletic center was, was silent for the most part. A little awkward, if you ask me. I could tell that she could tell that something was up as she stared out the window the whole time with a frown on her face, people watching.
It honestly killed me to have to do this, but I must put an end to any of her thoughts about us actually becoming anything more then this. I don't date and she knows that. And she will be no exception to that. Never have I and never will I brake that...rule, if you call it.
I jumped slightly, still deep in thought, as I felt Khloe's hand graze the inside of my thigh. I looked over to her, only to see her smirking back at me with the same glint from earlier in her eyes.
This is so weird. I've never witnessed her like this. This..touchy, feel-y, almost hormonal imbalanced girl. Normally she's held back and distant. She's hard-headed and very independent, wanting her space and her distance, but today the only thing I have seen is the complete opposite.
I didn't say anything as I slowly pulled the car into a parking space, and neither did she, however her delicate hand never once left the place on my leg.
I sighed as I turned the car off. Now is it, I guess.. I stayed still, staring out the windshield. Khloe gave my thigh a squeeze, causing my eyes to shoot to hers as I felt my stomach drop from the action.
"You're too silent." she giggled. My heart leaped at the sound before reality swept back in.
"Khloe, I-..we-.." Fuck how do I say this. "I don't-" Before I could even get the sentence out, her lips were gently attached mine, sealing my words inside to keep to myself.
This kiss was soft. Much softer than I'd ever had. Even with Khloe. Her lips were silk against mine and I could just failtly taste the hint of strawberries that lingered on them.
"Let's go, Mr. Quiet. Let's get some life back in to you." She giggled as she opened the car door and got out. I watched from inside the car, as she went to the back seat to grab her bag. "Are you coming, or what?" She grinned and skipped, a burst if energy radiating through her after being locked in a room for two days straight.
I have to admit that was without a doubt, irritated from not being able to say what needs to be said, but I couldn't help the large smile that made its way to my face at the sight of her. I shook my head, and exited the car, slowly trailing behind her.
*
"Great job, girls! I will see you tomorrow at five. Your training starts next Tuesday. I will send out your diet plans by email tonight, so you guys can stay in shape for the season!" Amy, the captain, I'm assuming, squealed. All the girls gathered their seasonal schedule they received before heading to the locker room. I sat on the bleachers, waiting for the messy golden ponytail to come into view.
Khloe was a lot better at volleyball than I expected. Yes, all the girls were great, but my eyes just kept focusing on her tiny 5'6 figure that stood in the middle of the court. Her hair would bounce with ever hit of the ball against her thumbs, and her behind would fill the tight spandex shorts everytime she bent down into a squat position.
She seemed to be the one that most of the girls would watch, if I'm being honest. She'd definitely set an example out on the court.
"It's Niall, right?" I glanced to the side to see Amy standing with a smile on her face. She's one I haven't slept with, but I'm pretty sure that she wanted me to by the way she pushed her chest out in my face, moving to stand in front of me.
If this was two months ago, I probably would have slept with her. She's a platinum blonde, with long hair, a big chest, and bright green eyes. However, as much as I hate to admit it, Khloe has completely destroyed my want for sex. My need for it.
"Uh, hi." She knows who I am, so I don't know why she's playing dumb. We had four classes together last year and two our freshman year.
"Did you come to see me play? I was good, wasn't I?" She smiled big as she removed her hair from her shoulder. She's seriously faker than plastic. She was dressed in a pair of neon yellow spandex shorts and a hot pink fitted tank top that made her chest look -to be honest, amazing-, and her hair was pulled out of her face with a white elastic headband.
"Actually, Amy, I came to see her play." I motioned my head to the girl who was walking out of the locker room, trying to keep her bag on her shoulder while she took a drik from her water bottle. Amy backed up with a disgusted look on her face, allowing me space to stand up.
My eyes met Khloe's. Her's then glanced to Amy before back to me with a questionig look. I smiled, blowing Amy off as I made my way towards Khlo.
"Hey, what was that about?" Were the first words out her mouth. I chuckled as she continued to stare down the slut behind me.
"What? Her?" I glanced to Amy who was glaring at Khloe brfore looking back. "Nothing much, other than getting a nice handful of boob and a number to go with." I took her bag from her, deciding to mess with her a bit.
"Oh." her face dropped and she instantly turned around and started to pace out of the gymnasium and into the hall, about ten steps ahead of me.
"Khloe, chill!" I yelled after her, a smile forming. "I was kidding." I chuckled.
She immediately stopped and turned around to look at me. I continued to laugh, causing her to have to force back a smile with a lip bite. "Asshole.", she mumbled, hitting my arm lightly.
Once we got to the car, I placed her bag into the back and climbed into the car after her.
"Did you really get her number, though?" She asked after a couple minutes.
"Amy's?" She nodded. "Oh, hell no."
That caused her to laugh and grab my hand, intertwining our fingers. I mentally cringed, releasing my hand from hers and placing it back on the wheel. Too touchy. She then placed her hand on my thigh, leaning up to kiss my cheek.
"Good." She smiled, setting her feet on the dashboard, making herself comfortable.
Fuck, I can't take this anymore.
"Khloe..." She looked to me, still smiling. I exhaled, trying to make this easy. "Khlo, I don't date, and you know that. I don't want you developing any feelings for me in that way because I can't return them."
I glanced to her from the corner of me eye. Her smile had dropped into a frown and she'd removed her feet from the dash, sitting up right. "B-But, I thought-" She stopped, her eyebrows knitting together.
I took a deep breath, biting my lip. "I'm sorry, Khloe. I don't mean to be leading you on in any way, and I wanted to remind you before you did develop anything.."
She removed her hand from my leg, turning to look at me. She's angry. No doubt about it. She does that thing where her nose scrunches up and her eyes narrow.
"Don't mean to be leading me on? Niall! You've completely fooled me! I've been lead on since day one, thinking that you want me, and now you don't?" She raised her voice.
"Khlo, we can still be friends and do stuff, I just don't want you falling for me because I know that I can't feel the same back." I sighed, squeezing the steering wheel tightly as I pulled into the parking lot.
"Can't or won't, Niall?" She used the same line I did this morning.
Damn, she gets under my skin sometimes!
"I won't, Khloe!"
"So what are you saying? You just want to use me as a pleasurable toy? A fuck buddy? Friends with benefits? That kind of thing?"
"Khloe, that's not what I'm saying." I exhaled.
"Then what are you saying, Niall? Because that's sure as hell what it sounds like!"
Is that what I'm saying? That's certainly not what I mean by it! I need Khloe. I truly need her, I just can't have her.
I don't date. Period. I won't.
Dating leads to marriage, which leads to failure. I don't and won't do failure.
"You selfish, disgusting, bastard." She spat under her breath after a minute, as I continued to sit silent, before she exited the car, slamming the door behind her.
I sighed and leant my head against the headrest of the seat.
Fucking hell!