"Erm, Harry?" He hears himself some minutes later. He feels Harry's gaze on him but doesn't dare to look back "I forgot to tell you-to give you, your birthday present." He says after thinking and thinking about the better way to tell it to Harry. So he does the same way he always ends up doing after thinking too much, he's direct. "So we're leaving tomorrow to Liverpool."
"Excuse me?" Harry asks seriously and in instinct Louis finally meets his gaze facing with a confused and opened eye Harry. It's obvious that Harry thinks he didn't hear correctly or maybe thinks that Louis is just going crazy. So Louis bites his bottom lip and lets an amused smile slipt from his lips - probably the first one this morning - while Harry looks at him in dull.
"Hum, yeah, okay wrong way to tell you this." He sits up, resting his back on the bed's headboard and doesn't even notice the way Harry does the same, always careful to bring the sheets with him. "The reason my family and I aren't going on vacations to Liverpool this year, is because you and I are going." He says and all the awkwardness and worries vanish when he says these words with a smile, speaking louder the you and i to emphasise the idea. Just the thought that he's possibly between hours to drive with Harry to Liverpool so both can spend a week together, enjoy themselves and not worry about anything, just really having fun and getting the hell out of Doncaster, trying to make Harry forget about his problems. It makes him happy.
"You're kidding, right?" Harry asks and Louis asks himself why he isn't smiling and looking excited.
"Hum, no I'm not." Louis answers, his smile fading away and getting worried "Is there any-" he stops himself for some seconds. What if Harry doesn't want to go because he now feels uncomfortable around Louis after what happened last night? Well, by how well Louis knows Harry, if he was uncomfortable he wouldn't have laid down next to him still naked in silence. He'd have ran away, making Louis disappear, anything but what truly happened... However, anything stops Harry to still feel nervous about all of this and Louis is just trying to forget this for both. Especially for Harry, though. Because he didn't want to forget.
"If you don't want to come, I understand, I mean... I just wanted to-"
"Lou." Harry's hands travel to find Louis' since Louis' voice gets too low and trespassing all his concern to his best friend. "I-" he starts but makes a pause while both stare at each other. "I'm sorry..."
Louis pulls away Harry's hands quickly, hurt "You don't want to..."
"No," Harry says loudly and Louis frowns.
"No need to shout if you don't want to, I get it you are only being-"
"Louis," he shouts again but this time he chuckles "Shut up, god, I do want to." He truly laughs this time, holding Louis' hand in both of his again "I want it so bad, are you kidding?!" He smiles truthfully and Louis feels a lot of weight going out of his shoulders. "This is great, Louis, this is awesome. Of course I want I, god, give me a hug you idiot."
Louis grins opening his arms to let his best friend in. Both wrap their arms around each other and Harry almost reaches Louis' lap, which make him laugh. He sinks his head on the crook from Louis' neck, then placing a kiss on his collarbone like they always do. It makes Louis shiver and wrapping his arms tighter around his best friend. "I wasn't expecting this," He laughs and the hot breathe Louis' feels on his skin is pleasant "but," fuck, the but's. "What about my parents?"
"They're not here Harry." Louis whispers back. He likes the way they communicate, Harry doesn't pull away from Louis and he definitely won't, they talk lowly just for the two of them to listen to and their voices are soft.
"I know but... going away to Liverpool this way, without them knowing..." Louis finds himself surprised when Harry pulls away, showing his nervous expression; his eyebrows down, his lips pressed in a straight line and his eyes showing nothing, not even the usual glow.
"They're not coming back in what? Three weeks? We're staying there one, they'll never know Harry, there's nothing to worry. I talked to my mom and it's okay."
"I don't know if it is okay, Louis. It's not... it's not right. If they find out they'll kill me, they won't let me see you again."
Louis rolls his eyes "Seriously Harry? There's no way they'll find out," he wants to say they don't care but that will only hurt Harry and saying it is making it official and Louis truly wished his parents cared for his son. "I think..." he sighs "It's so unfair for you. You deserve it, you deserve doing this for you. Think about what you want for the first time in your life, babe, they won't stop you forever and I think you need to give the first step. Do you see them here? Do you see them calling to ask if you're doing okay without them?" he shakes his head and keeps his eyes on Harry, analysing his expression to know if he's going too far "You're eighteen already they can't keep you trapped in here you can't let yourself feel trapped by them."
"I know..." Harry lowers his head "You know I..."
"I know, Harry..." he knows how afraid Harry is of his own parents, especially his father. Not that he hits him... the last time that happened he was fifteen, it hurt badly but it's not because of that. He just hurts him too much, psychologically and that's worst for Harry since his head can trick him sometimes. "But they won't do anything to you. It'll be fine, I'm here." Louis caresses the brunet's hand, trying to offer assurance.
"That's the thing Louis, I want you always here, I don't want them to take you away from me."
Louis laughs quietly "They won't and even if they try I will keep chasing you!" He winks with a smirk, making Harry's dimple appear.
"You promise?" He asks too seriously
"I promise." Louis nods and they both fall into silence, with their hands still feeling the warmth from the other. It's so comforting, so familiar that makes them think that they're the only people in the world. They don't feel sad about it, they feel relieved.
These are the times when Louis wished he could kiss Harry. Kiss the sad out of him, cure all his wounds, just be that close to him. They're already close, they're so fucking close but not the close Louis wants. The close that takes his breathe away, that makes him another person and that takes him to the clouds to feel them. Harry is all his but he still feels like there's a piece of him that it is not, which makes a part of Louis feel empty. He wants to fill it but there's nothing he can do now.
"I love you so much." Louis whispers looking straight at Harry's green eyes and his voice... his voice shows it all, all the love he has to give. And maybe, maybe for the first time, this I love you meant another thing. It felt different in Harry's skin, it felt different in Louis' tongue and chest. It meant exactly what Louis has been feeling but never said or even thought.
He felt in love with his best friend.
Harry smiles, shyly smiles, turning away his gaze from Louis' and his cheeks turn slightly rosy. They've shared this words so many times and that's why Louis is sure Harry can interpret them in the way he tries to hide. "Erm, I need to get dress." He chuckles, a bit shaky and pulls away the touch of his hands to once again pull the sheets up to his body.
Louis feels his own ears getting hot but he's not one of blushing but he feels himself warming up. "Oh, right." He chuckles the same way Harry did. "And I need to use the toilet so... you get ready and, erm, I'll be back in a couple of minutes to give you, hum, time" Louis says nervously while getting up from bed and walking towards the door. Why is he nervous and why is he making an excuse to go out of the room to give Harry privacy?
Right.
~*~
"You ready?" Louis looks at Harry with a strict and way too serious look for a person who has a kitchen towel wrapped around his head.
Harry nods firmly "Let's do it!" He raises his fist in the air and starts walking in big and heavy steps - still feeling the ache on his bum - towards the sink, to clean the mess.
"You have idea that you need a cloth, don't you?" Louis laughs at his best friend's figure - seriously Louis you have a towel in your head as if you were a ninja - with his hands on his hips.
"Right," Harry nods and in the same way he walked to the sink, he walks back to the blue eyed, who is only in boxers and Harry's oversized t-shirt "Excuse me." He says and takes the towel from Louis' head, carefully, to turn back to the sink to wet it.
Louis laughs again and Harry can't contain his laughter as well, while looking back at his brunette friend by how bizarre the whole scene looks like.
However, they thought it would cost more than it apparently is taking to clean the first floor. Harry even jumped with the shock when saw how they left the living room but when it's two working it's faster.
"Louis," Harry protests while picking the plates from the floor and throwing the rest of the brownies on a plastic bag. "Stand your ass up from the couch and help me."
"I am just checking if there are any scrums on the-OH MY GOD!" Harry quickly turns his attention to his friend, who is standing up from the couch as if he had seen a spider, with eyes wide open "we've got a problem."
"Louis..." Harry looks at him with a warning look, still shocked
"Erm, there might be a wh-white stain here that isn't supposed to be." He informs and thank god seconds later they're already laughing with the situation and it wasn't weird at all.
So this incident made them take more fifteen minutes to find a way to clean the couch. So after almost two hours with the kitchen, living room, Harry's room and his bathroom cleaned - apparently they had the strength to have a bath last night, but neither commented on what had probably happened during it - they're already sat on the same, now cleaned couch, with Daisy on Harry's lap, who is supporting Louis' head's weight on his shoulder.
"We need to pack your bags." Louis says, his voice showing the excitement he is feeling. Harry hums in response "Aren't you excited?" Louis asks, raising his head to try to look at the curly haired boy. Harry looks back at him with a smile on his face, while keeping patting Daisy behind her ear, making her purr.
"I am. Very." Harry grins and here it comes, the sudden feeling Louis now has, to kiss those plump, pink and beautiful lips. Louis can't stop staring, he can't stop looking at those lips and he's sure they're calling for his. "Lou," it seems he can see them moving to call his name, softly. He doesn't want to feel this way each time he's this close to Harry, it just makes things worse and hard for him. Harry has no idea how hard it is for him.
"Louis," He hears again and he feels Harry's hand slightly brushing his warm cheek.
Louis' eyes travel from Harry's lips to his green eyes and Harry is really calling for him. Fuck, or he just noticed that Louis was staring and that will be awkward or... or he is calling him like Louis once did with him, calling for him to kiss him. But no, no that is impossible. "We can go pack now and then eat something since it's getting late."
Oh.
"Yeah, sure." Louis' voice sounds weak and Harry notices, Louis knows Harry notices everything... Harry probably knows what Louis is feeling by now because he can't be subtle. He can't be, not with a person like Harry in his life.
"Yeah?" However, even if Harry is catching the idea he doesn't seem so bothered. His voice comes so tender and kind, his hand is still caressing Louis' cheek and he looks at Louis as if perfection existed.
I want to kiss you, Louis wants to say but he keeps the thought on his mind. So he nods and pulls away from Harry, afraid that if they kept that way for much longer he'd give up and throw away what he had built and is trying to keep. He'd hold Harry, kiss him and tell him what's been on his mind since he is sixteen. He's going to be nineteen soon and is pathetic how his body and mind work around Harry.
He stands up from the couch, leaving Harry with an uncomfortable cold spot next to him. "Okay let's go because afterwards we need to go to my place because my mom wants to see you and I also need to pack my stuff." Louis says adding his best smile and Harry pulls away his worries, nodding and putting Daisy on the side to follow his best friend
~*~
As expected Harry stays for the night so tomorrow they can leave early because Louis wants to make sure that Harry is up on time since he oversleeps too many times. Though, that's not much the reason, it's really the fact that if he can have Harry by his side, why pushing him away? In a not so aggressive way, if Harry can be with Louis because anything is stopping that to happen, why sending him home to sleep alone in a cold bed with cold sheets on a warm night?
And since Harry entered in his life - what is life without Harry? Who was Louis without Harry? An eight years old kid with no friends to play with on summer, is the answer - it's like he's trapped there. But in a good way because Harry likes it, he isn't forced to be with Louis, he needs to be with Louis. With all their sleepovers, the way their friendship is, it seems like they even live together. They even have their side of the bed defined, they make breakfast together, they know the other's routine... They're a family.
Whatever the feeling Louis might - is - feeling right now, he sure won't let it destroy everything. It won't. It can't. Because it's so strong, what they have is so strong and beautiful that everything ugly it touches it, turns out to be the most gorgeous thing, bringing envy to the things around. Louis loves that feeling. Louis loves what Harry makes him feel, it's almost magic... he started to believe in magic since he observed - not saw - what he and Harry have. It brought him hope.
"Comfy?" Louis asks, shaking his body under the fresh sheets and feeling the good cold from the wall touching his bare arm. It's in times like these that he doesn't care if in the winter the wall is too cold. It brings its benefits on summer and he can always get warmer closer to Harry on the cold nights.
"Yes." Harry laughs and shares a smile with Louis, who finds the urge to touch those deep dimples of his.
It's probably the earlier they got into bed this summer holidays, it's not like they're tired - and it's also not like they aren't going to talk for half an hour as always - but Louis wants to reach Liverpool around eleven in the morning, so they need to leave at least at half past nine and he knows it won't be an easy task to take Harry out of the bed. Sometimes Louis feels more responsible than Harry in these kind of things, which is really weird and unusual because he is lazy himself. But not as much as Harry who can't even leave his room tidy for five minutes. Who would say he is as intelligent as he is?
But to make up for it, Louis took half an hour packing while Harry only took ten minutes. So the result is going to be them leaving with two suitcases, a bag and Louis' backpack. In Louis' defence he is going to carry half of Harry's clothes in one of his suitcases and he knows they're going to share a lot of clothes. Also, he needs a bag with the stuff he'll need to the trip like sunglasses, toothpaste, cameras, towels, sunscreen lotion, which in Louis' mind it takes a lot of space.
Harry was really tired of listening to Louis protesting about how he can't choose the right clothes to take and grumbling about not having space. Harry is sure he's taking way too much thing but Louis says that it's never enough because we don't know when we'll need extra clothes. Harry knows they won't
"I have all planed for our week, so if you think we'll spend the whole days sleeping you're just fooling yourself." Louis comments and can't stop but feel smaller than he actually is in bed with Harry. He hates when he's totally laid down on the mattress while Harry is with half of his back rested on the headboard.
"Louis..." Harry says in an annoyed tone and Louis makes his best not to laugh at his pitchy voice.
"If I wanted to sleep, I'd stay in here."
Harry sighs "So what are we going to do?"
"You'll just know in the day, so everyday there'll be a surprise." Louis replies smiling genuinely up at the green eyed boy.
"You sure got to a lot of work on my birthday present this year."
"Yeah..." Louis breaks the gaze. He knew that this year he needed to do something else, something special because "You deserve it." he confesses
"I..." Harry starts and Louis doesn't dare to look at him because he knows his limits and right now, this moment, will make him think crazy things, which he can end up following them. "I-I don't think I really deserve all of this... Deserve you." But woah, he needs to look at Harry, in shock and surprise and even sit up quickly because how can Harry still be so insecure about all of this?
"Don't say that Harry." He almost shouts as if he was truly mad "I can't believe you can still think that way after everything I said to you." His tone of voice is really from someone who is desperate to make his point be heard from the other. But Harry seems not to catch the words since he keeps looking at his lap "Look at me Harry." Louis says and rests his hands on Harry's chin to turn his attention to him. "How can you still say a thing like that? You know you deserve everything in the world. You deserve to be happy like everyone else. You need to see how amazing you are and accept it." Louis doesn't know how they got this close and how he could keep his hand on Harry, this time caressing his cheek. But that's them, so it's not weird, it's nothing unusual. "Don't put yourself down, love. All right?" Harry keeps his greens eyes locked with Louis' blue ones, amazed, but Louis needs to hear his voice "All right?" He repeats
"All-all right..." Louis smiles and nods, happy with the answer. "Thank you, I'm really excited for the trip."
"Me too..." Louis wished he could stop talking this slow and sounding like he is out of breathe. He wished he could be able to stop looking at Harry's lips and eyes the way he does. But he doesn't wish that this feeling could disappear like he once thought. He doesn't know if that's right or wrong but he wants to keep it with him, because it feels good, it feels warm.
Louis feels Harry's hand grabbing his and Harry leads it to his lips, kissing all his four knuckles, caressing his palm with his thumb. Louis feels his heart jumping in his chest and it's not because of the surprise of the gesture since Harry doesn't show much his affection with gestures first, he knows it's because of another thing. But he's used to it so he smiles, not showing those emotions and the urge to jump into Harry's arms and tell him how he feels.
"I'm glad I have you in my life Louis." Harry confesses and Louis now sure shows his surprise. He knows that, he knows how grateful Harry is for having him in his life but that's it, that's why he isn't waiting for Harry to remind him that much. But he is, he is telling that again to Louis, to make him happy, to remind him.
"Thank you." Louis answers not thinking. He was supposed to thank Harry mentally, because yes, he's glad the boy says that, he's glad his best friend thinks he's worth it to have in his life, he's worth it to love and he's so thankful for Harry letting him stay and not pushing him away. Always giving him a quick reminded that somehow, Louis is Harry's life saver and that makes Louis so proud of himself and proud of doing what he wanted to do since he was little. Make Harry happy.
"I mean, I didn't mean, like... erm-" Louis stutters and Harry laughs by how messy he is right now.
"I think I got it, Lou." Harry says now more serious but still with an honest smile on his lips. "Now, didn't you want to go to bed earlier?"
Louis nods chuckling, stopping right away when Harry's hand is now rested, barely there, on his cheek. He sees Harry leaning forward and placing a kiss on his forehead "Goodnight Lou." He says softly, so softly that makes Louis freeze for a moment by the fond.
Harry giggles and lays down, preparing to go to sleep. Louis slowly follows his moves and lays face up, now looking at the darkness that is his ceiling since Harry had turned off the light.
He can only think about how much he loves Harry, how huge this feeling is and how gay he is becoming...
~*~
» this is so stupid and sappy omfg