October 5th 2020
Things weren't really the same, those last three days anyways. That night Harry made her feel things that she tried to suppress for years only for her to feel it again in the matter of weeks.
She was beginning to fall in love with him again.
And she couldn't hate herself more for it.
So she avoided him those last three days especially Due to the fact that he had dropped her off at her front porch and kissed the corner of her lips.
It was like they were pretty much doomed from the beginning.
It didn't stop Harry from constantly calling and texting Cam, worried about the fact that he might have messed things up.
He didn't.
She just couldn't face the fact that she was falling in love with him only for him to break her heart once more.
It was inevitable.
"I think I'm falling in love with him again," she whispered out of the blue to Lisa as they arranged the seating for her wedding.
"What do you mean?" Lisa said taken aback, she didn't want her making the same mistake.
"I mean... yesterday. He did what he would do when we were younger and you know he just continues to promise me that he'll keep me happy and... I think I believe him."
Lisa didn't know what to say. Part of her wanting to knock some sense into her, other half partly believing that he had learn and grew from his past mistakes.
"Well do you want to know what I think?" Lisa asked and Cam nodded her head. "I honestly don't know why you gave him a second chance, you know? I know he was your first for almost everything but all I want for you is to be happy and I just don't want you making the wrong choice."
And Cam understood this, she did but hearts tended to cloud peoples better judgement and she was one of those people.
"I know I am, Lisa. That's the sad part, that I know I'm making the wrong choice. He cheated on me and left alone at times I needed him the most.."
"But you love him."
"But I love him," she confirmed as she got up, finishing up with all the emails she had to send out for the weddings.
"Enough about me though."
"Cam..."
"No, I swear I'm fine," Camila promised.
Lisa nodded her head, not convinced but letting it go nonetheless.
And they continued in almost silence, finishing up any big rearrangements, leaving the conversation unanswered with a million doubts inside Cams head.
But she never told Lisa that.
Especially when Cam felt like it was always about her even when she left those three years.
"Are you sure you want to get married while being pregnant?" Camila asked her. "Like I'm not saying it's wrong but I personally would wait until afterwards."
"I was going to do that at first believe me," she started as she was going through her to do list. "But then I thought, hey it's going to take me about a fucking year to lose all that weight and then not to mention that I would have a baby that I have to take care of and he would have to at least be two before I can let someone else watch him for the full day... yeah no he's staying in here."
Camila laughed, agreeing with her as she nodded her head. She probably would've done the same thing.
"I can't believe your wedding is in like two weeks."
"You and me both. Are you bringing a date?"
"As in Harry? Did you even invite him to your wedding?" Cam asked curiously. She never really thought to ask.
She sighed as she pulled out the leftover invitations in her planner, one with Harry's name on it.
"I didn't want to lie to myself and say that I don't want him there because I do, you know. We've all been friends from high school."
"Then invite him. I know your decisions are based on what happened between us but it's fine. I'll even give him the invitation for you."
The doorbell suddenly rings, Lisa asking who it could possibly be before she realized quietly, rolling her eyes.
Camila opened the door to see Harry with a worried expression on his face but a small smile appears on his face once he sees her and he just couldn't believe that she was the only person he needed to make him smile so easily.
"Hey," he finally said with a hushed tone.
"Hey."
And all the memories happened a few days ago came flooding back as she remembered the warmth she felt in his arms in the middle of the night and the sweet nothings whispered in her ears.
It felt intimate without being intimate.
"How are you doing... or feeling?" He asked and she couldn't help but give him a small smile as he tried not to look so flustered with his pink cheeks and tousled hair.
"I've been okay... thank you."
"You didn't answer my calls or messages so I just thought you were mad at me... or something. I mean I know you're already mad about like.. before but like I mean with what happened a few days ago so like I'm sorry-"
"No," she said as she shook her head. "No, I'm definitely not mad and you don't have to apologize- if anything I should be apologizing to you."
"Camila..."
"That day when you took me to the fair.. it was the first time I felt genuinely happy in such a fucking long time," she started, closing the door behind her as they stood on the porch. "And it was because of you.. of all people. And I didn't regret it but it's like when we were driving past the cemetery... it was just a big slap to the face. Like I'm just supposed to always be grieving."
"You don't deserve it," Harry spoke afterwards. "You deserve all the happiness in the world and if I could at least if you a glimpse of it, it would just me happy to see you smile, Cam." He walked closer to her, trying to not overstep his boundaries but he couldn't help it. "I love you," he whispered to her.
"I know you do," she whispered back. "I'm sorry for lashing out on you. I've been blaming you for all the things that went wrong in my life and I felt like I had to put this on you too. You didn't deserve that."
"It's okay."
And then there was silence.
But oddly enough their silences weren't the worst part of everything they had going on. It just gave them time to admire each other without the words.
It didn't really seem like a big mess anymore.
And for once it didn't feel like
Cam
And
Harry
Or it didn't feel like just Cam and just Harry.
It felt like Cam and Harry.
But silences could only last so long.
"So um, Lisa's wedding is in two weeks," she finally spoke out because if they stayed in silence much longer she would've kissed him and god knows only where that would lead.
"Really, I wasn't invited... I mean, not that I expected to be but you know," he said looking away.
"Well she wanted to but with everything that's happened, she didn't know if I would be okay with it or not."
"Well, are you okay with it?"
"More than okay with it," she said right away. I'll give you the invite."
"Sounds good. And you will definitely be there right?" He asked
She laughed. "Well I am the maid of honour. I'm pretty sure I should go."
He looked away in embarrassment, chuckling at himself. "Well I mean maybe we could accompany each other... like we could be each other's dates..."
"May I just say that from when you asked me out like over thirteen years ago you've never changed. You still suck at it," she said with a wide smile, so wide he could see the one dimple she had on her left cheek.
"I'm not as smooth as you think."
"I never thought that, not even when we were dating, Harry," she said, rolling her eyes with a smile.
"So I'll see you... possibly tomorrow?"
She nodded her. "I'll see you tomorrow."
And everyday she would keep falling more and more in love.
Maybe it was inevitable.
Or perhaps it was fate.
I kinda sorta planned this chapter for it to be short and just mainly dialogue so like yeahhhh...
I'm tryna not say that it sucks but like I can't help but be hard on myself but like right now I Just want to finish this story I've been doing it for like 9 months...