"I can't remember the flat being this full in ages," Jisoo laughed the next morning when the four of them sat down to have breakfast together. "Does anyone else need anymore milk? If not, I'm gonna put it back into the fridge or it's gonna go to waste."
"No, thanks," three voices replied and Chaeyoung and Lisa looked at each other with a smile.
"Ugh, you two are sickenly sweet, I can't even make fun of you properly," Jisoo muttered under her breath towards Chaeyoung. The brunette and blonde both blushed deeply, which caused the oldest female in the room to laugh. "Oh, I was wrong. It seems very easy."
"C'mon now," Jinyoung laughed and pressed a kiss to her lips, which seemed to literally take her breath away. "We gotta go now or we're gonna be late."
"Where are you going?" Chaeyoung asked and felt Lisa's knee bump into her. She suppressed the grin from her face and looked at the blonde who didn't react to the touch at all.
Jisoo put her and Jinyoung's bowl into the sink and washed her hands quickly before she replied, "we're going ice skating today. It seemed to me that it's a very romantic place with you two ending up here and stuff instead of sleeping in separate beds." She ducked when the empty cereal carton box flew into her direction.
"Alright, alright, I'm gone already. Have fun at work, and see you later today, I suppose?" She ended the sentence more like a question than a statement and pressed a kiss to Chaeyoung's left cheek before she followed Jinyoung into her bedroom where the two of them were probably getting dressed.
"Wait a second, you can be late for ice skating?" Chaeyoung said after a couple of seconds and shook her head. "I think he just wanted to have Jisoo on his own again." Shaking her head she sighed and looked at the watch above their heads. "We've got about half an hour left before I need to be at the mall and I need to shower quickly. Do you want to shower here too or would you prefer to do it in the orphanage?"
Lisa shrugged and got up to put her bowl in the sink as well. "If you don't mind I'd like to shower at home, but take your time. I'll be in your room and get my stuff."
Chaeyoung nodded her head, confused at Lisa's distant reply. "Everything alright?"
The blonde nodded her head and smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes and looked a bit forced – Chaeyoung wondered if they knew each other long enough so it was justified that she noticed the difference. "See you in a few."
She hurried to take a shower because for some reason it felt strangely uncomfortable to be physically away from Lisa. She had no idea what was suddenly wrong and what she'd done to upset her, so the urge to finish the shower was even bigger.
When Chaeyoung was fully dressed and walked back into her bedroom, Lisa had already done her makeup and wore the same clothes as yesterday, Chaeyoung's clothes folded on the bed. "You didn't have to do that," Chaeyoung murmured with a sheepish smile and looked at Lisa, who still seemed a bit distant. "Do you still want to come to the mall with me or do you want me to drop you off at your home?"
Lisa shrugged without really looking at Chaeyoung and it really bugged her – what on earth had Chaeyoung done wrong? Just a few minutes ago they had been chatting comfortably, they had woken up nicely with each other in their arms and feeling warm and cosy. They didn't talk and it didn't feel uncomfortable or forced and now this?
"What did I do wrong? Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not mad," Lisa muttered and scratched the back of her neck. "It's just... ugh, it's stupid, forget it."
Chaeyoung pouted and walked closer to Lisa until she stood right in front of her. She grabbed her hands and entwined their fingers, feeling a spark running through her body. "If it upsets you it's not stupid... please tell me?"
Lisa looked at Chaeyoung and took a deep breath. "I... well, it's really stupid, but I don't know... there's nothing between you and Jisoo, right? And there never has been?"
Chaeyoung couldn't help but smile and breath out in relief – she hadn't even noticed she'd held in her breath. "No, there had never been anything more than friendship between me and Jisoo. We've just been friends for a really, really long time and when I came out to her, she was really supportive and all, but even without making it clear that she didn't want anything from me, I never even considered being with her like that. I'm happy she's with Jinyoung."
Lisa sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "You probably think I'm an idiot now, don't you?"
Chaeyoung shook her head and smiled. "No, I promise. I have to admit I'm a bit jealous of your friend Jennie too because she is really lucky – she's known you for the past eight years, while I only got the pleasure now even though we lived in the same city for ages."
Lisa giggled and looked down at their entwined hands with a blush. "You really are?"
"Promise," the brunette answered. She took a step back and dropped their hands, "But now I really need to get going because I think I'm going to be late." She laughed and left the bedroom, Lisa following her quickly. They hurried while they put on their jackets and shoes and scarves and gloves and when they ran down the stairs, Lisa had to catch the girl literally three times.
"You're really the clumsiest person I've ever met," Lisa laughed once they got into the car. Usually Chaeyoung didn't use it to get to work but today was an exception because she had Lisa with her, and she'd hopefully find a parking lot soon.
Luck seemed to be on her side today and she didn't even have to look for more than a minute to find a spot. The two of them hurried inside the mall, where Fred was already waiting for Chaeyoung– the stall hadn't opened yet, so she guessed she was still punctual.
"Good morning, Fred," Chaeyoung greeted with red cheeks and hoped both Lisa and Fred would blame it on the cold.
"Good morning," Lisa smiled sheepishly at the male, who smiled at the two knowingly. Well, he probably thought he knew – he most likely thought more had happened than actually did happen.
"Morning," he greeted the two girls.
"Fred, would you mind if I brought Lisa to her working place during the coffee break? I promise I'll be quick and I'll even give you the money for the coffee without even drinking one," Chaeyoung asked her boss, who nodded his head quickly,
"Sure thing, no problem. And you ain't gonna have to pay for something you're not using."
"Thanks," the two girls said at the same time. They looked at each other and giggled while Chaeyoung got inside the booth.
"So," Lisa said, "I would like to buy two wreaths please."
Chaeyoung grinned and nodded her head, trying to stay serious. She picked out one of the prepared ones before she wrapped it and then looked at the decorations. She managed to find a box filled with ornaments in shapes of objects and decided to pin them to the wreath; a music note, a goat, a couple of hearts, snowflakes and stars, and even an ice skating shoe. Then she added a few bows simply because she loved bows and showed it to Lisa.
"This is my favourite," the blonde replied with a grin.
"Mine too," Chaeyoung smiled sheepishly and wrapped it up before handing both of them to the blonde. Lisa handed her twenty-three pounds, but Chaeyoung shook her head. "It's really just eighteen pounds, not that many."
"But the ice skating was really expensive," she pouted.
"This is my work," Chaeyoung replied, "and the ice skating was personal. It was my pleasure to invite you to that and I'm not going to accept you repaying me in tips."
Perrie frowned. "Will you take twenty?"
"Lis."
"Rosie," the blonde replied in the same tone. "Look, I can't give you eighteen because I don't have it exactly."
"I'm sure I can give you your change."
"Not if I'm not here anymore," she laughed and took the wreaths, leaving the twenty pounds note lying on the table, before she skipped off. Chaeyoung shook her head with a smile and looked at Fred, whose presence she had completely forgotten.
"Isn't that adorable," he laughed. "You two make a great couple and I'm glad you got more out of this job than just money for Christmas and a fantastic working experience."
•••
Lisa: I just found two pounds in my pocket.
Chaeyoung: Oops, I wonder how they got there ;)
Lisa: It was a present :(
Chaeyoung: The ice skating was a present too and you don't seem to accept it either :-/
Lisa: Alright, alright, I give up, you win
Chaeyoung: Yay!!! Btw, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over? c:
Lisa: I'd love to!
Chaeyoung: I'll pick you up. Are you at home?
Lisa: No, I'm taking a walk with one of the kids. I'll give you a ring when I'm there, alright?
Chaeyoung: Sure thing, can't wait
Lisa: Me neither, bye
It didn't take long until Chaeyoung's phone was ringing and she let it ring twice before answering so she wouldn't appear desperate (because sadly enough she'd been waiting for Lisa to call all this time and she didn't want the blonde to know how much she had missed her).
"I'm there," the blonde spoke through the phone. Chaeyoung was about to leave when the door bell rang and she sighed deeply,
"Wait a second, there's someone at the door. I'll be with you in a second."
"I don't doubt that," Lisa laughed and when Chaeyoung opened the door to reveal her guest, she was surprised to see a blonde girl with red cheeks and a red nose in front of her door.
"Lisa!" She gasped and stepped aside. "Come on in. I didn't expect you to be here."
The blonde giggled and took off her scarf. "I thought I'd surprise you but you kind of ruined it by texting me if I wanted to come. I was already past the mall when you asked me."
"It was still a surprise," Chaeyoung reassured her and felt the butterflies in her stomach when Lisa kissed her right cheek. "I'm happy to see you. I kind of missed you..."
"I missed you too," Lisa giggled and looked down at her feet.
"Uh, do you want something to drink? Eat? We're also alone in the apartment because Jinsoo decided to move to his place for the next couple of days," Chaeyoung explained.
"Jinsoo?"
"I like to give couples these names, you know? Like Brangelina?"
Lisa giggled, "God, you're so cute." She looked at Chaeyoung and raised an eyebrow, "what would our name be?"
Chaeyoung blushed deeply and looked at her feet, trying to pretend as if she hadn't given it a thought yet. "I dunno... Lichaeng? Chaelisa?"
"Hm..." Lisa murmured considering and stepped closer to Chaeyoung. "I like the sound of Chaelisa, to be honest..." She grinned and looked at Chaeyoung's lips, who seemed to be frozen on her spot. Now that Lisa was so close, she once again felt like kissing the younger girl and maybe this counted as an invitation?
"You do?" Chaeyoung asked and looked up into Lisa's piercing eyes. Those were still looking at Chaeyoung's lips but the brunette felt like freaking out because this was so unexpected that she quickly threw her arms around Lisa to hug her tightly. She let go of her and when she stepped back, she avoided her eyes and walked into the living room, where the telly was on.
Lisa didn't say anything for a while and for the first time, the silence between the two of them was awkward. So far it had always been nice and easy, just the two of them being near each other and enjoying the other's presence. But now... Chaeyoung had kind of ruined it.
"I'm sorry," Lisa whispered after a while and turned around in her seat to look at Chaeyoung. "That was... I don't know? It's just... I thought you, uh, maybe, wanted this too?" She moved her hands between the two of them. "And... I feel like I'm moving faster than you and I'm not really sure if I can handle that."
"No, no, no, no," Chaeyoung said quickly and waved her arms in front of her body. "No, really. I don't know. I do want this, it's just... As I said, I haven't been with anyone in a while? Like, properly. It didn't mean anything, just to... you know. Feel something for the night. And you matter to me a great deal and I don't want to... I don't know, disappoint you? I really want this," she tried to explain and moved closer. She reached out for Lisa, almost without noticing really, and put her hand on the blonde's knee. "You're so... great and you seem so careless and relaxed and I don't want to fuck it up."
Lisa's face fell and she almost looked at Chaeyoung with pity in her eyes. She quickly wrapped her arms around the older girl and sighed. "I'm sorry if I was asking for too much too soon. It's just that I really care about you and you matter a great deal to me as well and I just thought... I couldn't hold back if that's what you wanted."
"Sorry," Chaeyoung whispered. "I do want it, all of it, with you, but I don't want to disappoint you, you know? I mean, there's been this tension building up between us for a while now and what if it's not as good as you think it is? And then I opened myself to you and you decide you don't want it anymore?"
Lisa looked at her with an opened mouth and shook her head, "I swear to God, that could never ever happen. I'm sorry if I made you feel like that, oh my God. I swear I won't do that, ever, because I don't know what to expect either, and I just know that it'll be worth it because you're amazing and I kind of really want to be with you."
Chaeyoung blushed and looked down at where their hands were entwined in their laps now that they sat so close to each other again – she hadn't even noticed that they were holding hands; it just came naturally and maybe Chaeyoung really just needed to calm down. Everything was going to be fine eventually, she was now sure of that.
"You know," Chaeyoung murmured, "it's already the fifteenth of December. I'm not going to sell wreaths on the twenty-fourth or after that anymore... what'll be your excuse then to come and see me every day?"
"That's actually a good question, which I haven't thought about yet... that one day the stall was closed I was just really, really lucky. And the day after that I was sort of really sad because I didn't get to see you again."
Chaeyoung giggled and couldn't believe she was still behaving like this. "Oh, believe me, you're not alone. Jisoo was really frustrated with me because I was all mopey that day and she said she would have opened her own stall that day to keep me from whining."
"Maybe she should do that, because then I'd have a new excuse to come and see you every day," Lisa muttered and looked at Chaeyoung hopefully.
With a smile on her lips Chaeyoung replied, "You know, I'm really glad you and I are, like, talking about stuff and not avoiding the subjects that bother us. I'm sure it's saving us a lot of trouble."
"Yeah, I agree," Lisa replied and her eyes darted to Chaeyoung's lips once more before she looked up again quickly and then let her head drop against the sofa, her eyes closed. "Please start wearing a skiing mask or become ugly because this is just mean." She pouted and then shook her head. "Sorry, that was a stupid thing of me to say."
Chaeyoung's stomach did somersaults and she hid her face behind her hands so Lisa wouldn't see how red her cheeks had turned. She hoped she'd get used to Lisa around her because she wasn't sure if she could handle feeling like this for the rest of her life.
The two of them lay on the sofa, zapping through channels until there was really only crap left – Lisa stretched and sat up, looking at her phone to check the time. "You've been a great host but I've got to get going now."
Chaeyoung pouted and looked at her fingers. "I mean, uh, you could sleep here again, if you wanted?"
Lisa smiled but shook her head, "no, thank you. The children keep asking me where I go all the time and I don't really know what to answer them so I'd like to sleep at home for the night to calm them down a bit – at least the little ones. The older ones already understood, ha ha..."
Chaeyoung nodded her head and smiled. "Alright, do you want me to drive you?"
"Never mind, I haven't walked properly in a while, thanks to you, and I need the daily exercise," Lisa laughed and made her way into the hallway, closely followed by Chaeyoung. The older girl noticed something was off and wondered if it was because of... earlier. She didn't say anything because Lisa was probably embarrassed and she'd talk about it with Chaeyoung when she was ready for it and maybe less embarrassed – that's the least she could do for the blonde.
"Will you text me when you get home safely? I don't want to have to worry about you," Chaeyoung murmured sheepishly and hid her rosy cheeks behind her messy hair.
Lisa nodded and leaned in pecked Chaeyoung's right side again, causing the brunette to feel her stomach doing somersaults again. "I will. See you soon," she said and then she was out the door, leaving Chaeyoung feeling somehow weird about their departure.
Chaeyoung didn't get a text that night anymore.
•••
Lisa showed up at the stall the next day but when Chaeyoung tried to be cute and adorable around her and said that she'd worried because she didn't get a text, the blonde only murmured a half-hearted apology before she paid Chaeyoung the money for the two wreaths – exactly eighteen, and although it made Chaeyoung happy because she'd given up on the tips seemingly, it was somehow really weird – and then left. She didn't even dance or skip this time, she just walked away, saying a quick good bye and then she was gone.
Fred didn't say anything about it, even though he was present while the whole thing happened, and she was grateful he didn't, but most of all she wished it hadn't happened it all. For some reason this was more uncomfortable than all the times Fred had witnessed the two of them being way too cute next to each other.
When Chaeyoung came home after work, her phone was just as empty as the flat – no phones or texts, and no Jisoo or Jinyoung anywhere hiding in a room. It made her feel a little lonely. If at least Jisoo was here, they could watch some sad movie with a happy ending and ice cream on the sofa with Jisoo's feet on the table and Chaeyoung would pretend to care even after all this time and Jisoo would take them off until to put them back on, like, ten minutes into the movie.
But now she was with Jinyoung in his apartment and she didn't want to bother her friend because she deserved being happy with a boy that made her feel so incredibly free and Chaeyoung didn't want to take it away by tying her back onto the ground with her heavy problems.
To say that Jisoo wouldn't even care anyway was stupid and Chaeyoung knew that, because Jisoo had always been a worrywart when it had been about her and it would hopefully always be that way. She loved living with Jisoo in their small and cold apartment because at least it was their small and cold apartment and they'd always had each other...
God, she was making mountains out of molehills. She was just being in a sad mood because of how Lisa suddenly treated her and she found problems were there weren't any – if Lisa was here right now with her she wouldn't care that Jisoo wasn't in the flat.
It took her a while to fall asleep that night, but at least she could use up the whole warm water.