She rode out of the meadow, out of the camp, and into the trees. She just wanted to get away from here, away from the confusion of trying to be human, drawing the line between friend and foe, and right and wrong. And the decisions that were no longer hers whether she was a slave or not.
She cut through the trees away from camp, but she found a road nearby and took to it to allow Lothar the freedom of running over smoother ground. She had no plan, no intention of stopping, but as she rode away, she had a strange feeling of freedom come over her. For the first time in her life, she was free to runaway if she wanted, free to leave, storm out. She could go and never come back if it was her choice. To have that liberty was the most freeing thing of all. To know she could.
Or could she?
She'd thought that was her choice, but Wren had just shown her that she might not always have a choice. Could she not choose her own future with or without money? Why did money matter so much? She growled in frustration and Lothar flicked back his ears and it wasn't until then that she realized they'd been running long and hard while she attempted to sort through her chaotic mind.
"I'm so sorry!" She burst and pulled back gently on the reins. He was sweating, laboring for breath, but as she slowed him he strained against the reins, ears pricked forward now. He pranced with high steps as if begging her to let him keep running. "No more, for now." She patted his neck and dismounted. She checked the saddle and it was a little loose, but she hadn't tightened it before riding. She was lucky it hadn't slid right off.
Breathing almost as hard as her horse, she looked both ways down the road. Which way? Was it her choice? If she ran would the humans come find her? Was she doomed to always be trapped by everyone around her?
She pressed her face into Lothar's mane and sighed heavily, inhaling the grass and dirt scent that clung to his body. She finally pulled away and patted his side before she turned him and started back the way they'd came. She stayed on the ground, walking next to him and he seemed content to follow her.
They weren't long on the path when Lothar lifted his head higher, watching something ahead of them and she rose up on her toe tips, catching sight of a large, black wolf running fast. A familiar orc wielding a hammer was perched on his back. Bukoo ran on mostly silent feet, barely a sound, and Cold Hammer was low over his shoulders.
When they started to slow, he sat up straighter and Bukoo wagged his tail in greeting. She didn't fail to notice the stern look on Cold Hammer's face when they stopped and he slid off the wolf's back. The last thing she wanted was to fight with Cold Hammer after Wren and Lohke upset her.
When he spoke, however, he didn't demand to know why she had run away or ask her why she disobeyed them when they yelled at her to come back. Instead he demanded, "Give me one little sign or hint and I'll go back and kill them for you right now."
"What?" His words were so unexpected she almost laughed.
"Whatever Wren and Lohke said to you, they will make up for it." He was dead serious about it, gripping his war hammer tighter. "You can watch."
She laughed lightly, pleasantly surprised as she started to relax. Some part of her wanted to pull him into a hug. She remembered hugs. Real ones where the other person held you and sighed and for that one moment you were purely, incorruptibly happy. Her mother used to hug her like that.
Dismissing the idea, she sighed, "No, you don't have to slay the human king or your best friend."
"Then they will beg forgiveness at your feet."
"No," she laughed because he was serious and it brightened her day to know he would willingly risk punishment or death by forcing the pair of them to her feet. It was a nice image in her mind.
He watched her long and hard, mulling it over before he said, "I'm serious, one word."
"No!" She giggled and threw her arms around his neck, grabbing onto him as she leaned into him. It took her several seconds to realize what she'd done and she let go. His eyes were wide like it was the last thing he'd expected her to do and she blushed, swiping her hands down her clothes for no apparent reason other than to straighten them.
He lowered his head, staring at the ground a moment before he set his hand on her arm and she met his gaze again. An unfamiliar heat burned in her and she almost trembled. She wanted much more than to hug him now, licking her lips as she watched him. "What did they say to you?"
"You came all the way out here and you don't even know what happened?" She gave him a half smile and shook her head as he shrugged.
"They just said you got upset over some of the proceedings and you took off, then I left. They were still saying something else but...I didn't think, I just came after you." He still wasn't looking at her but it felt significant that he'd even come, that he cared.
"Thank you." She returned the gesture setting her hand against his arm as well. He cocked an eyebrow, still waiting on her answer. He waited with a strange patience that she would've never expected from him. "Wren wants Lohke to pay money to me, for compensation for the years I spent as a servant and an extra sum to cover my dowry. Lohke supported him but I adamantly refused and Wren lost his temper."
"You ran all the way out here because a man lost his temper? I'm surprised you didn't remove his head from his shoulders."
"I almost did. I think. I don't know. I'm getting good at not doing that thanks to you."
"You say the nicest things to me." He said and she wrinkled her brow.
"Did you just tell a joke?" She asked and he scrunched up his face in an expression similar to hers. "Mark this day, Cold Hammer tells jokes that aren't just blunt sarcasm."
"I think it was fairly sarcastic." He cracked a grin and she smiled, wanting so much to fall into his arms and hug him. She glanced at his lips as she thought about his on hers, how warm he'd felt, the way her heart rushed as he kissed her. He suddenly turned, his gaze leaving hers and she frowned.
"Cold Hammer?"
"You shouldn't look at me like that, Sheobulf." His voice was tight.
"Maybe I want to look at you like that." She heard his sharp intake of breath.
"You don't-"
She grabbed his arm and whirled him around, "Don't tell me what I do and don't want! I've had enough of everyone telling me how to live." She snapped at him. "From day one Nukbrik commanded my every waking moment, from day one Lohke has dictated that I would come here with him to human territory, from day one Wren has dictated that I would go with him to Thunderfall. Maybe I don't want any of that, maybe I want to make my own choices!"
She grabbed his face and brought his mouth to hers, kissing him and he didn't stop her. His hands drew her closer and she wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips moved against hers in a way that made her stomach do flips and she tightened her grip on him. When they were breathless and she felt dizzy, she pulled away slowly, staring into his eyes.
He looked utterly confused and a little scared, "Why did you do that?"
"Why did you?" She countered and his chest heaved harder.
"It beats the underworld out of me." He replied, brow furrowing, but he grew somber and he cupped her cheek in his hand. "You're not afraid of me at all, are you?"
She wrapped her hand around one of his tusks and pulled him closer until his forehead touched hers. "You never scared me."
"Not because of stupid recklessness, but because you can hold your own in a fight, because you refuse to back down and let others-even me-walk on you. No one has ever stood up to me before like you have."
"And that's a good thing?"
He growled and it reverberated through his chest as he pulled her closer, "It drives me insane. It makes me want to devour you in good and bad ways." His lips descended on hers again with a furious passion that burned her soul from the inside out. "I have never respected another being more than I respect you or Lohke, for everything you've been through, you still fight for what's right and you never turn on anyone that doesn't turn on you first."
"Maybe you should kiss Lohke then."
He sputtered and choked on a laugh as he pulled back and they laughed together for a long moment. He went silent, eyeing her with one eyebrow lifted and a grin threatening to cross his face before he set his arm around her shoulders. There was a certain comfort in having him next to her, accepting her.
Her heart was soaring, her stomach dancing with butterflies. She felt like something changed between them in that moment. There was a certain vulnerability in him, as if she somehow scared him even as she stood unafraid of him.
"Come on," he murmured as he drew her in to his side, "let me take you back."
"Will you walk with me?"
"It'll take longer to get back if we walk."
"Yes, it will." She smiled warmly at him and he grinned.
"Yes, I'll walk with you." He said and took her hand. His was so big compared to hers that her hand disappeared completely. Together they started back towards camp.