The next morning is like a nightmare I wish I could wake up from. I'm standing outside in the parking lot dressed in a pair of sweatpants and one of Josh's shirts, wrapping my arms around myself as I try not to cry while he loads the last of his stuff into the car. I knew saying goodbye was going to be hard but now that it's actually time I'm almost positive that it's going to be impossible. "I think that's everything" he says as he closes the trunk of the car and turns his attention to me. I force a smile onto my face and nod my head.
"That's good. Make sure you call me though if you realize you forgot something...or if you just want to talk" I add and he chuckles as he wraps me up in a hug.
"Penelope you know I'm going to call you every free minute I have" he assures me, kissing the top of my head. "I'm going to miss you so much" he adds and I sigh. I wanted more than anything to climb into that car and go with him but I had finals and it was my responsibility to stay here and finish school. He was just going to be in another state, it wasn't like he was leaving me forever.
"I'll miss you too" I murmur, hugging him tighter. "Don't forget about me okay?" I ask and he laughs, clutching me tighter.
"I'm pretty sure that's impossible Penelope" he replies as we pull apart and he reaches out to wipe the tears from my eyes. "I'll call you as soon as we make it to the hotel but you better actually get some studying done tonight because you have finals to ace while I'm gone" he adds and I nod despite the fact that I know for a fact that I'm not getting any studying done tonight.
"Have fun" I insist but he shakes his head.
"I won't" he argues. "Not without you" he adds. "Last chance to throw caution to the wind and come with me" he says and I know he's only kidding but the idea sounds so inviting that I really do almost climb into the car and follow after him.
"I'll see you in a few months when you get back" I assure him and he nods in understanding.
"Absolutely. I love you Penelope" he murmurs, pulling me into his arms again and leaning down to kiss me. I kiss him back, making the kiss last a little longer than usual before I pull away and tears begin to freely flow down my cheeks.
"I love you too" I whisper and with that final declaration he climbs into his car and I'm left waving on the sidewalk while he drives off into the morning sunrise. As I stare down the empty road long after he disappears I realize there's only one person I want to talk to and it breaks my heart that I can't.
I head back inside and head towards my room instead of Josh's and find Riley wide awake, sitting on her bed with her legs crossed and coffee in her hands. "What are you doing up?" I ask confusedly and she gives me a sympathetic smile.
"I had a feeling my best friend was gonna need me today" she says and my heart swells. Every single person deserved a best friend like Riley Matthews.
I walk further into the room and collapse onto my bed, hugging my pillow to my chest and allowing a few stray tears to fall as Riley makes her way over to me and takes a seat beside me. "The next couple days are going to fly by Maya" she assures me. "And once the year is over you get to fly out to be with him again. Just think about how excited he's going to be to see you" she says and a small smile pulls at my lips thinking about it...too bad it wasn't today.
"Do you think I made a mistake not going with him?" I ask but she shakes her head.
"You had dreams before Josh. I understand that they've changed a bit to include him but finishing this year is important. Maybe next year you could talk about some compromises but it's not all about either of you and I think it's good to have a little distance. It'll just prove how strong your relationship is" she explains and I sigh, looking up at her.
"Why did I have to fall in love with a rock star?" I complain and she laughs, rolling her eyes at my dramatics.
"You wouldn't have it any other way" she reminds me and I nod. No matter what obstacles came in our way or how hard things got I would never chose a life without Josh. He was my soulmate and we were going to make it through this.
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I spend the afternoon cleaning my room. I was moving out soon and right now the room was still a sty since I hardly ever spent any time in it other than to change clothes and sleep from time to time. Clothes were strewn everywhere and honestly the shelves were collecting mountains of dust that were my allergy's worst enemy. I'm packing away some clothes in a tote when my phone rings on the nightstand. I reach over to answer it and immediately place the call on speaker. "Hello" I answer.
"Hey gorgeous" Josh greets me and my heart skips a beat. I hadn't even thought to look at the caller ID when the phone rang so hearing his voice is a welcome surprise. "Miss me yet?" he teases and I chuckle.
"Of course I do" I confirm, folding a shirt before placing it inside the tote. "I've resorted to cleaning to keep my mind off of you" I add and he chuckles.
"Sounds about right. I've tuned my guitar, triple checked the drum kit and made some weird noodle thing for lunch" he says making me laugh as I think of my boyfriend cooking.
"It was horrible. Don't ever let him cook for you" Max yells in the background and I laugh even harder thinking about the boys attempting to eat the mystery meal my boyfriend prepared for them.
"They're just being dicks. Don't listen to them" he waves off. "Besides, I would never make you something so low quality" he adds and I hear Natalie shouting something at him too far away for me to make out. "Whatever" he says dismissively, "the point is, I miss the fuck out of you" he says and I smile, grabbing my phone and taking it off speaker as I take a seat on my bed.
"I miss you too babe" I admit softly. "But the shows will be good distractions and I have exams-."
"And time with your dad after school is over" he interjects. "Maybe I should fly out to see you one weekend and we can spend the weekend with him...now that he likes me" he adds and I smile. That idea definitely held merit...it would just have to be the both of us that flew out to see my dad one weekend.
"That would be great" I reply honestly as my call waiting begins to beep incessantly. I groan, taking my phone from my ear and find my father's name indeed lighting up the screen. "Shit, babe I gotta go. My dad is actually calling right now. Call me later though?"
"I'll try. We're almost to the hotel and then we're gonna get some dinner but I'll try to call before bed."
"Okay. I love you."
"Love you more" he replies and my heart swells as we hang up and I switch over to my dad.
"Hey dad" I greet him brightly, acting as if I don't know where this conversation is headed. I texted my dad to let him in on my plans for the summer and he had never responded until now and I had a feeling he wasn't going to be exactly thrilled about it.
"Are you really going with him?" he asks, getting right to the point and I sigh, closing my eyes as I brace myself for impact as the next words leave my mouth.
"Just for the summer" I admit. Silence falls over the line, the only sound being him releasing a deep sigh. I know that news that your daughter is going to be off on a tour bus with her serious, committed boyfriend isn't exactly great but I couldn't lie to him about where I'd be all summer.
"Are you going back to school in the fall?" he asks and I nod.
"Of course I am. I just-I can't sit here in New York doing nothing all summer while he's off having the time of his life without me and I could be there. Sure there are a few summer courses I could've taken but this is what I want to do. I love him dad and I support his dreams the same way he supports mine. I want to be there for him."
My dad doesn't respond for a long moment and I grow anxious, taking my bottom lip between my teeth. I knew he wouldn't be happy but I at least hoped that he would support my decision. "Just be careful okay?" he asks making my eyes widen in shock. That almost sounded like-.
"Are you saying you support this?" I ask in shock. I was positive that this was going to turn into a huge fight but perhaps I had misjudged my dad.
"I'm on edge about the whole idea but you're my daughter, you're in love and I know I can't stop you. All I ask is that you don't come back from this tour pregnant" he adds making me chuckle. My dad certainly never minced words. "I'm serious Maya. I've heard the stories about what happens on these tours and I am not becoming a grandpa yet" he says and I roll my eyes in amusement.
"We'll be careful dad. No babies" I assure him. "And thank you. I know you probably wish I hadn't fallen in love with a rock star."
He laughs. "It certainly would be less stressful but he's your person" he explains simply. "And who am I to stand in your way?"
A smile tugs at my lips. "I love you dad."
"I love you too kiddo. See you in a couple days?"
"Looking forward to it" I reply honestly before we hang up and I fall back onto my bed contentedly. All the puzzle pieces were falling into place, all that was left was finals and the big reveal before I could spend the next three months on the road with the man I love.
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"Ugh" I groan, dropping my head onto my desk in frustration making Riley laugh from her spot on her bed. "I fucking hate school" I complain as I lift my head up and pick up my book, tossing it onto my bed.
"Hey, don't be so mean to the book. It didn't ask to be a Calculus text book. It probably had dreams of being the next young adult bestseller and then it became a math book and has since become subjected to never-ending abuse" she says making my eyebrows furrow as I turn to face my best friend. I swear she came up with the craziest stories sometimes.
"What the hell did you just ramble on about?" I laugh, staring at her in disbelief. She laughs, shrugging her shoulders as she returns her attention to Hamlet and I sigh, picking up my own copy. "What do you think we're going to have to do for our exam on this book anyway?" I ask as I read Hamlet's silique for the eightieth time.
"Probably recall large plot themes and compare them to our lives or something stupid" she replies, rolling her eyes as she flips through the pages. I nod my head in agreement and silence falls around us as we read, only to be broken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I pick it up and Josh's name lights the screen. A broad smile pulls at my lips and Riley chuckles.
"I wonder who that could be" she teases and I roll my eyes as I bring the phone to my ear.
"Hey baby" I greet him.
"Penelope" he chirps excitedly. "I was hoping you'd still be awake but I figured it would be a longshot...wait, why are you awake?" he asks as I glance over at the clock glaring back three a.m.
"Studying" I yawn and he sighs.
"You need to get your rest sweetheart" he insists. "Just because I'm not there to drag you to bed doesn't mean you get to stay up all hours of the night. You need your rest."
I roll my eyes. "You're up too mister" I remind him and he chuckles.
"I'm on the west coast baby. It's only one here" he explains, reminding me that he is indeed in a whole nother time zone than me. "And I am about to get some sleep but I wanted to try and call you first. I miss you, especially at night" he says seriously.
"I told you that you weren't going to be able to sleep without me" I tease and he sighs.
"I know you did and I was hoping you were wrong" he groans. "How the fuck am I supposed to sleep for the next four months?" he asks and I bite my lip to keep from spilling my secret. I've waited this long, I could wait another week or so.
"We could talk until you fall asleep" I suggest as Riley stands up, grabbing her bag and motioning towards the door. I furrow my eyebrows and she mouths Lucas making the puzzle pieces fall into place. It seemed that since I was back in our room it would be Riley leaving for midnight rendezvous. I nod my head in understanding and watch her slip out of the room before turning my full attention to my boyfriend.
"Promise you won't hang up on me?" he asks and I nod, relaxing into my bed.
"I promise I won't hang up. Let's talk about your day. How's the tour bus?" I ask and he begins drowning on and on about tour life while I contentedly sit and listen until finally we both fall asleep still on the phone.