"Certified doctor? That's the biggest load of shit I've heard in a while." Landon's endless rant continued on until we had stepped out of the humid air and back into the air conditioned confinement of the house. Though it had been my doctor's appointment, Landon looked as if he'd gotten as much sleep as I did last night. Considering my sleep schedule was nearly nonexistent, it was strange to see someone else going through the struggle.
The dark bags under his eyes had only grown heavier and darker since stepping out of the house three hours ago. His hair, usually a brushed back combed masterpiece, was a mess on his head. He looked to have crawled out of bed this morning without caring about anything more than throwing new clothes on to ready himself.
"She didn't say a word about your weight loss." Landon muttered once at the kitchen table, rubbing his right hand down his face. "She decided shoving antidepressants down your throat was the best remedy to it?"
"Maybe she's right." I offered up my opinion.
My brother's green eyes darkened with the look he shot me across the room. "I've been taking them since I was fifteen, Ave. They make you feel numb. They don't help."
But Landon, I wanted to shake him in his chair and say, I can't feel any worse than I already do.
I could see the exhaustion lining every crease along my brother's forehead and around his eyes as he pushed back from the table. He gripped the chair tightly in his hands after pushing it in, breathing out shakily to calm himself. Seemingly at ease, he walked over to me and touched my shoulder. I shook it off and stepped back before my mind could fully process what happened.
"Please, Avery, for the love of God, eat." There was so much desperation in the plea, that I half expected him to fall to his knees and beg. "If you don't want to do it for yourself, than do it for me, alright?"
When I didn't do anything but avert my eyes and pretend he wasn't there, he sighed and headed for the door.
"I've got to get to work. Tell Colton to order something and I'll pay him back. I love you. See you later."
I lifted my head, meeting my brother's eyes for a moment before the black door blocked him from my line of sight. I swallowed the lump easing its way up my dry throat and made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I paused momentarily outside the last room at the end of the dimly lit hall-the guest room. The door wasn't open anymore than an inch or two, but I could see Colton pacing the room repeatedly, his hand buried in his hair as he talked softly into the receiver and glanced up at the ceiling, shaking his head.
I took a step away from the door and tripped over the folded edge of the carpet, hitting the ground hard. I clenched my teeth to hold back the cry of pain, but it wasn't any use. Colton still hung up the phone and threw the bedroom door open, offering a hand to help me up as he asked if I was okay. I nodded, not wanting admit the fact that there was a sharp pain shooting through my tailbone.
"I didn't know you guys were back." He said, craning his neck to see if my brother was still home. "How was the appointment?"
I rubbed my hand along my lower back. "They prescribed me antidepressants."
The expression that crossed Colton's face mirrored that of Landon's our entire way back to the house. "Don't get them filled. You don't need them destroying your psyche anymore than it already is."
I answered with a quick nod, analyzing him for any sign of his questioning of the events of last night. A look passed through his eyes, but it subsided just as quickly as it had entered. I knew he wanted an answer to where the stitches had come from, but he hadn't tried to push or pry it out of me at all on our walk back last night. He'd only glanced over a few times and made small talk. It was a small thing, really, him not questioning me on it, but I couldn't be any more relieved to not have to deal with him on my back about it as I had with everything else for the last week.
"Landon wanted you to order something for dinner." I broke the silence.
Colton started down the hall, stretching his arms behind his head so all I had sight of was the flexing of his biceps as his too-tight red v-neck sleeves clung to them. "Did he split already?"
"He had work."
Colton shook his head slowly.
"I seriously need a second job. He's going to push himself over edge at some point and won't be able to come back from it."
My eyes followed him as he sat on the arm of the couch, picking a stray piece of lint off his jeans, his fingertips then slowly stretching out and brushing against the seam of them. I jogged back upstairs without saying anything else, hoping he'd get the hint and stay.
Unfortunately, Colton was in my doorway only about a minute after I walked into my room. I ignored his presence, pushing my closet door to the left and pulling everything inside it out and throwing it on to my bed.
"What are you doing?" He asked, eyes on the large pile of clothes at the end of my bed. I started to pull the hangers from them, folding them and separating them into piles so I wouldn't have to face him directly.
Even if I tried to describe the feeling of contamination I felt for each and every article of clothing I owned upon touch, it's likely Colton wouldn't understand.
He drummed his fingers along the door chipped black paint on the door frame for a moment, tapping the heel of his shoe back against the wall. He then gave up and bowed his head.
"You still doing okay, Ave?" He whispered.
No.
"Yeah, Colton." I forced my best attempt at a smile. The action had become so foreign that it physically hurt in doing so. "I'm fine."
*
There something comforting in having no destination.
As I stared at the concrete under my sneaker, I wished for a rush of freedom that never came. Walking aimlessly in the night should have been my escape from the imprisonment of my own home. But all I felt walking down the dark, deserted street was fear.
I would glance over my shoulder every few seconds to ensure nobody was following me. It'd been that way since that night; I always felt as if someone was stalking my every move, ready to prey on the weak. Despite the feeling of being watched, I still found more piece of mind being out in the open, away from home, away from myself.
I felt my feet beginning to drag once I realized where they'd taken me.
Campaign signs lined both sides of the street and curved to the end of the cul du sac. Stickers and posters clung to ever tree and wooden bench, even the occasional fence encasing the perfect yard.
If there was one thing I knew for sure about this shitty town, it was there love for Henry Marshall. As with most small towns, nothing happened out here. And when something did, everyone knew about it. When the residents moving in realized this over the years, they started to live and breathe politics.
I tore my eyes from the signs in disgust and looked toward the last house at the end of the street-more specifically the royal blue Mercedes parked in the driveway.
Everyone who knew Kevin Marshall was aware that he owned more things than they could even imagine in their lifetime. Even with his preference for school being his pickup, Kevin would, on occasion, drive his prized possession to school and show it off. With our school being a mix straight down the middle of rich and poor and Kevin having his enemies, it was hard to imagine how the Mercedes was never stolen or vandalized.
I squeezed my eyes shut, inhaling deeply to steady my trembling hands and racing heart.
My hope for tranquility was cut short when the shouting sounded through the quiet neighborhood, silencing even the crickets for a moment. I pried my eyes open to find Kevin stalking out of his house, hands thrown up in the air in exasperation as he shouted at a middle aged couple on the stone pathway leading to their front porch. Kimmy soon joined in on the fight, standing beside his parents, looking as if she was trying to reason with her boyfriend.
Too far to hear anything but too close for comfort, I could feel my body starting to react to his presence. I needed to get out of this neighborhood before I had another breakdown.
I turned my back to the Marshall manor and their fight, but was frozen in place when the sound of the Mercedes engine roaring to life broke my train of thought. My feet suddenly became glued to the concrete, my legs heavy. I looked to my left, at the street, just as Kevin raced passed in his car, not taking the time to slow the car to a stop at the sign at the end of the street. I watched the car speed off into the dark night, mouth agape, before following along after it.
*
I couldn't keep my thoughts at bay, and by the time I was back in the familiarity of my own neighborhood, my cheeks were stained with tears and my vision had blurred.
Raising my head for the first time since watching Kevin speed off, I was shocked to find Colton on the front porch swing, rocking back and forth with it as his eyes scoured the streets. Guilt started gnawing at me when I came to the obvious realization that there would only be one reason he was out here this late at night.
I crept up the three front porch steps with my head down, not wanting to get into where I'd been the last few hours. I ran into his hard chest when I reached the door, not sure how he'd managed to move so quickly in such a short period of time. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to sit me down and keep poking and prying until I finally told him where I was, but he only opened the door and stepped aside.
We exchanged a long look before I ducked under his arm and into the house without looking back.
***AN***
*Unedited*
Hope you guys enjoyed! Sorry for the late update!
Let me know what you guys think/thought!