Sometimes I wonder what it's like. I wonder what it's like to hear the birds chirping, if a child's giggle would fill me with as much joy as they say. I wonder if music brings as many emotions as my few friends tell me it does. I look outside my window on the second story floor of my house, and wonder what the world sounds like. I turn as I feel my bed dip and smile at my mom as she yanks my hair, something she has always done to show her affection. I grumble and fix my hair as she grins. I watch her hands as she tells me dinner is ready and I nod before tumbling down the stairs, smirking at my dad before ducking, knowing he likes to do the same thing as my mom. My mom had married Nathan when I was 3, 15 years ago, having met him when I was diagnosed with my hearing loss two years before that. Making him the only dad I knew. I sat down at the table after moving some boxes aside and licked my lips as I eyed the meatloaf. My mom was the best cook in the world, hands down. I looked into the kitchen and rolled my eyes, noticing everything was unpacked in there first, leaving boxes littering the hallways and rooms. Today was the second night in our new house and both Nathan and I had betted that moms pride and joy would be unearthed first. We had moved back to New York for Nathan's job, he had been offered a promotion in his old hospital and I had told them it would be silly to pass it up. I hadn't made many friends in New Jersey anyway, so why not.
I tucked into my meatloaf and closed my eyes in bliss, loving how delicious it was. I quickly finished and drank some of my milk, watching Mom and Nathan talk. She started signing when she realized I was paying attention and told me they were discussing my new school, and deciding if they wanted to drop me off or if I wanted to walk. She told me it was only 4 blocks away so I shrugged and quickly signed that I'd rather walk. She looked unsure but my dad squeezed her shoulder and gave her a smile, saying that he didn't see why not.
I didn't see the harm, and the walks would probably be nice. Thinking about it made me wonder what school would be like. I didn't imagine it would be terrible, but I wasn't looking forward to the pity I would probably get. It's a side effect of my life, but it does get old. It does make me wish some things were different; but as my mom loves to say "We're alive, and we're together: Why not smile and know it's enough?".
She's right, I know she is. But this is my senior year and it makes me hope that something will be different this year. That I'll make friends, and that I'll be treated like any other senior kid in high school.
My mom pulls my attention away from my thoughts with a tap on my shoulder and signs to ask if I'll help her clean the kitchen. I nod and grab my plate, make my way to the kitchen and duck when I pass my dad again, smiling when I see him chuckle. I finish up and hug my mom before making my way upstairs. I sigh as I grab my latest book and plop down on my bed; not realizing that I'm exhausted or so close to falling asleep.
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The rest of our weekend is spent trying to get organized and now it's Monday morning as I stand in the shower and finish rinsing off. I smile as I bend down and pick up the slip of paper on the floor in front of the door, already knowing what it would say. I open it anyway and know my dad wouldn't break such an old habit, no matter where we leave. When I was old enough to start showering and getting ready for school by myself, my dad would slip notes under my door in order to say goodbye to me, and to tell me to have a good day. He's a cheese; but it's easy to see why my mom fell so hard for him all those years ago.
I slip into my room and get dressed in my usual attire; a tee shirt, jeans and beat up vans. I grab my bag as I head down the stairs and kiss my mom on the cheeks as thanks for the breakfast I get every morning. She asks how I slept and I smile as I tap my mouth and sweep my hand down in an arc, shrugging. I had slept fine.
I finished eating and grabbed my jacket and bag again before heading out, not forgetting the directions that my mom had made sure to drill into my head this whole weekend. The woman really should worry less, the school was only 4 blocks away.
I found myself appreciating our new neighborhood, and the fall colors surrounding. I kicked the fallen leaves and eventually found myself in front of a building that looked as if it could have been built in the 14th century. As someone intent on studying architecture at university next year; I couldn't help but appreciate the elegance.
I made my way inside and headed to the left; following the signs to lead me to the office. The woman behind the desk smiled as I entered and I waved. I read her lips as she asked how she could help me and I used a pen and paper to write down my name and the fact that I was a new student. She smiled and took the slip, tapping away at her keyboard. She finally nodded; understanding what I already knew my file would say.
I smiled widely when she starting signing, surprised but grateful. She explained my schedule, and I was surprised to learn that they had an ASL Class that was offered to all students. My mom must have signed me up for it and forgot to mention it. I didn't really need the class, but she most likely thought it would be a good way for me to meet people. The receptionist gave me a map and explained where my classes were, she said that my mom had asked about their soccer team and I smiled. I knew it killed my mom that I loved the sport so much; but I couldn't help it. I thanked the woman and my way into the hall again, accidentally brushing shoulders with the guy coming through. I glanced up as he passed and wondered why he looked so annoyed.
I shrugged and walked down the hall, knowing my locker was very close thanks to the receptionist. I put all of my extra papers away and walked into the library next door to grab my books, lugging all 7 back and slamming them into my locker. I looked at my schedule and saw that History was first; not my favorite but I could deal with it. I walked into the half empty class and hoped that I could avoid the whole introduction part of being new, since I was early. I sat down in the middle and ignored the stares I could feel.
The bell must have rang because a flood of students came in, laughing and slamming their bags down next to their seats. Next came a middle aged guy, clearly the teacher. I saw him pull up in front of his computer and start calling names. When he reached the end he called out my name and I raised my hand, almost hating that Wright was my last name. He motioned me forward and it took everything in me not to grimace. I watched his lips move as he asked me to introduce myself. I signed that I had a hearing impairment and it took him a second but he smiled and motioned someone forward, I turned around and saw that he'd called a girl with long black hair forward. She listened to him speak for a minute and nodded, turning around and asking me what my name was in sign language. I told her Aiden and she nodded, telling me that she would translate for me, as she was in the ASL class. I grinned and told her everything I wanted to say. That I was 18, I'd been born without hearing and that I had moved from New Jersey. That I'd be headed to college next year to study Architecture.
After that awkward introduction, and avoiding eye contact with the rest of the students, I sat down. The rest of class flew by and the rest of the day was much the same. ASL was my last class of the day and I have to say that it felt like a nice break. I talked again with the girl from first period and found out that her name was Serena, and that her little brother was deaf; and that's why she took this class. She was a beautiful girl and seemed really nice.
I waved goodbye to Serena as I walked out at the end of class, and slowly made my way through the school. As I was heading through the gate I looked to the left and jolted a little as I made eye contact with a boy leaning against a motorcycle; realizing that he was the boy from this morning. I watched as he took a drag from his cigarette and looked into his eyes again before continuing through the gate, wondering what had made me hesitate.
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I reassured my mom for the tenth time that school had been fine today, and munched on my dads idea of a "healthy dinner". That being veggie pizza of course. I finished off my third slice and licked my fingers; a habit my mother detested. I was a teenage boy though, what could she really expect? I took my plate to the sink and sat down to finish my coke, knowing I'd need to reassure my mom at least two more times before she was satisfied. I didn't fault her, my mom was strong; but she wanted the best for me, and with college coming up her fretting was increasing a bit.
I smiled and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze and using my other hand to tap my chest and splay my fingers as I repeated that I was more than fine. I saw her sigh and smile before yanking my arm and ruffling my hair.
I gave her a mock dirty look as I straightened it and stood up, ready to go to bed. I told my parents good night and jogged upstairs, changing and slipping under the covers within 20 minutes.
I turned off my light and wondered if tomorrow would be as easy as today had been.
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The next day I slowly make my way into the boys locker room and let the door slide closed behind me as I search for the Soccer Coach's office. I hitched my backpack up again and clutched the slip in my right hand, explaining to the coach why I was visiting. I walk towards Coach Walkers office and knock lightly to grab his attention, handing him the slip of paper when he looks up.
I wait patiently for him to read it, and hope that he won't be too weirded out to let me play. He looks up and studies me for a minute before handing the paper back and leaning back.
He asks me how long I've played, and I tell him 6 years. Soccer has always been my outlet, what I've always been good at. He nods and yanks a post it off the stack before scribbling something down and handing it to me.
I glance down and smile as I read the words. I shake his hand and turn around, glad that I brought my equipment today; he was letting me join practice in 30 minutes to show him what I had.