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that night had been terrible for soon, she couldn't sleep for more than an hour straight. thoughts clouded her mind and she woke up in the middle of the night, with a heart raced and bathed in sweat, when hyungwon's dark eyes appeared on her dreams as she felt, fresh in her lips, the caress of his own.
she tried to push away the strange feeling those thoughts provided her with but it seemed like an impossible task.
during the breakfast, kihyun woke up earlier and prepared a nice home made meal for her, stating that they haven't had breakfast together in a long time since soon would always leave first.
the smell of the cooked sausages and the kimchi and tea waiting for her awakened her asleep belly. she noticed how he set the table beautifully as he smiled when he noticed her entering. "good morning." he said, flipping an omelette.
"morning." she said, trying to find the strength inside her to smile since she was tired over the lack of sleep.
"bon apetit." he said pushing softly the plate filled with the warm and delicious food towards her. the cherry tea waited peacefully in a mug next to her. a mug that she remembered buying with kihyun in one of those trips downtown before they moved in together. those times when she was excited about her relationship with him and about the idea of being a future wife.
wife.
the only thought of it made her freak out.
she had been sure about wanting to be a wife. someone's wife. it sounded like something she grew up loving but now, looking back at everything that have happened to her, she wasn't sure if she felt the same way.
right before her, was a man who loved her. she was sure of this. kihyun loved her, very much and deeply.
he had stated plenty times that she was the love of his life, and how not? they met when they were kids and back in that time, he had confessed his love for her.
he was always a step ahead. he had been the first who confessed, the first who initiated the first kiss, the first who said i love you.
soon always felt like she was lacking in all areas, she always felt behind him in everything because she never had the initiative.
"is it good?" he asked, somehow worried about her judgment. she nodded eagerly.
of course it was. everything he did was perfect, all the time. she was engaged to a perfectionist. a man who liked things done, and done perfectly.
"are you going to see that patient today?" he asked, taking a piece of kimchi with his chopsticks, soon nodded.
"what happened to him?"
"he passed out. his sugar levels were low and was taken to intensive care."
kihyun frowned. "really? and now he's okay?"
she nodded. "with DID you never know. we don't even know if it was really him or maybe other identity."
"well.. that sounds crazy right?" he asked, taking a sip of tea. soon shrugged. she knew these things were hard to understand, only she understood.
after finishing the breakfast, kihyun took her to the clinic and bid his goodbye to her. the clinic he worked on was at the other side of the city, around 20 or 30 minutes away by car from soon's clinic.
she waved at him as she noticed the car disappearing in the distance, from inside the clinic. she turned around and was soon greeted by hoseok.
"dr. park." he bowed. a sweet smile appeared on his full lips.
"hoseok-ssi... how are you?" she asked.
"good, and you dr. park?" he asked curious, as he walked next to her. they were going towards the elevators.
she nodded. "fine. a bit tired."
he remained silent as he pressed the elevator button. they remained standing next to each other.
the doors suddenly opened and he waited for her to get inside. "floor?" she asked him.
"5th." she knew it was the restricted area's floor. she swallowed hard as she pressed the 4th floor which was hers and then the 5th which was the floor where hoseok was going.
in the silent trip upstairs, he cleared his throat. "dr park... may i ask – he started, soon she turned around and stared at him with expectance – last saturday... you came here at night to check on patient chae." he said, soon nodded.
"yes, i received your text- she stopped talking when she noticed hoseok's confused face.
"excuse me, what?" he asked tilting his head, eyes narrowed.
she blinked twice. "i mean, you texted me to come since patient chae was in a critical state so that's what i did."
it seemed hoseok was having a hard time to remember his own actions.
"but i didn't- i – he shook his head –
"what?"
"i am sorry dr. park but i didn't text you."
soon's eyes widened after hearing the words coming out of his mouth. "what do you mean? how come you didn't text me? i have your texts here in my phone!" she exclaimed, looking inside her bag.
the doors suddenly opened after a long beep and hoseok looked at her with confused eyes.
"dr. park- he started but she didn't move a finger out of the elevator. the doors waited a few seconds and closed immediately.
"here." she said, not minding that the elevator's doors closed and she was now going to the 5th floor with hoseok.
"look." she said, handing the phone to hoseok. he swallowed hard and looked for the texts.
effectively, they were there. "i... i didn't send this." he said shaking his head, returning the phone to her.
"what?" she asked upset, her eyes filling with confusion.
"i- he said, taking his phone out of his pocket – see?" he approached the phone to her and she noticed their chat's last message had been over a month ago.
the doors suddenly opened and they turned around and found hyungwon standing in front ot the elevator doors with his hands tied. another male nurse next to him, guarding him.
"good morning, hoseok-ssi, dr. park." the nurse said, bowing his head and leading hyungwon inside the elevator. both of them, hoseok and soon greeted them but later remained silent at hyungwon's presence.
she noticed how his intense eyes were fixed on her. "where are you taking patient chae, rowoon-ssi?" she asked narrowing her eyes.
"oh, it's his group therapy session downstairs, outdoors dr. park." he said with a sweet smile. she glanced at her patient and he just smiled at her.
"i see." she simply said, glancing quickly at hoseok.
the doors opened again at the 4th floor and she rushed out of the elevator, followed by hoseok. they both bowed and walked away from the elevator.
she noticed hyungwon's lips lifting its corners after his lips motioned the word "bye" to her.
soon swallowed hard and once the doors closed completely, hoseok turned to look at her. "what's happening?" he asked concerned.
"i-i have no idea." she shook her head.
"dr. park i didn't send these texts, you've got to believe me. i wouldn't upset you over the weekend for something like this."
soon didn't know what to believe but she knew hoseok was telling the truth. he seemed honest and she knew he didn't have any reason nor any motive to lie to her, not with this.
"alright, do not worry. we'll get to the bottom of this." she said nodding in reassurance.
hoseok stared at her with worried eyes but he finally nodded. "do you think... he- he stopped talking when a pair of female nurses walked next to them. soon glanced at them with alert.
"well... it's not probable right? i mean... i don't think he'd get my phone to text you, right?" his words were exactly what echoed inside soon's mind.
it seemed like the only possible explanation, besides being hoseok the one who actually texted her. but at this point, she knew it hadn't been him.
"maybe... i have no idea."
he ran a hand through his blue hair and sighed in exasperation. "it can't be-
"is there any way to check the cameras? or something? do you remember leaving your phone at some point that night?" she asked, all those question desperately, one after the other.
"no. not that i can recall right now."
soon bit her lip as she noticed they've arrived her office. kyunji was there already waiting for her with her usual cup of coffee. "alright, just tell me if you remember anything and try to check the camera tapes, maybe we can see something there." she said, hoseok nodded.
"i have to go." she said. the nurse nodded and bowed quickly as he rushed down the hall.
"is there anything wrong?" kyunji asked as she noticed hoseok disappearing in the distance.
"no. nothing to worry about." she said smiling and grabbing the coffee, walking inside her office.
she noticed there was a patient there already, waiting for her. "dr. park?"
"minhyuk-ssi... good morning. did i make you wait for too long?" she asked, leaving all of her belongings on top of her desk and rushing to her chair.
"not actually. i've been here only 2 minutes."
minhyuk was wearing the white sweatpants and white hoodie provided by the clinic. this time he was wearing baby pink socks with little white stars on it. she smiled at the cute view.
"nurse sana gave them to me as a gift." he said smiling.
"they're pretty."
"not as much as her." he said with a shy smile. soon couldn't help but smile at his adorable attitude. his cheeks suddenly changed colors and she understood that minhyuk had a weak spot for the young nurse.
"i guess you're right." she said taking notes.
"dr. park?" he asked, his voice sounded serious but hurt. at some point, his face looked too. as if he hadn't been sleeping well for the past weeks.
"yes?" she asked.
"i think- i... i am ready to talk to you." it had been the first time that soon had seen him this serious. he seemed like someone completely different.
she knew some nurses, especially sana, had been working with him in an alternative therapy. he was also seeing a psychologist, besides his intensive therapy with her.
she longed for him to get better. she knew he could be better.
but it was all up to him.
"really? do you think so?" he just nodded, like a little kid.
"i am all ears, when you're ready." she said with a sweet voice.
he closed his eyes and sighed.
it took him a few seconds, or probably minutes. soon didn't know. because she wasn't paying attention to that but to his expressions and body language.
talking about what happened to him and about his family was something hard for him.
of course soon had her own assumptions about what could have happened. but you can never be sure. every head is a world, and each life of each person is different.
"everything started with my baptism." he said looking at her. his eyes seemed hurt.
soon nodded, somehow flashing a reassuring nod. "i was... around 7 maybe? i remember being in a lake we used to visit a lot when i was younger, during weekends, with my family." he said looking down to his own hands.
"but the day of my baptism was different. i was... pushed under the water. i didn't know what was happening. i thought for a moment they were trying to kill me. they were clearly drowning me."
soon noticed how his chest was raced slightly. it was obvious it hurt him talking about it.
"my father... he... pushed me inside and under the water." he said now looking at her. "i remember the disgusting taste of the water inside my mouth, filling my lungs."
she remained silent, staring at him. she wanted to earn his trust. "my mother had to push him away to bring me back to the surface because i was drowning already."
she swallowed hard at the harsh descriptions. "i woke up in a clinic. wet and cold. with a white medical gown, alone in an emergency room... there was no one there. i was completely alone."
soon almost couldn't believe her own ears. "only my grandparents arrived hours later."
"where were your parents?"
he shrugged. "i have no idea. they looked for me at my grandparent's house 2 weeks later." he said playing with his own hands, avoiding soon's eyes.
"i remember i cried and cried for days when they took me back home. my grandparents treated me better those 2 weeks than how they treated me for all those 7 years."
"then what happened?"
he looked down and sighed. "i had to return with them since they were my legal guardians, but i didn't want to." he insisted with big eyes.
"why?"
he looked at her with widened and red eyes. it was obvious he was having trouble to breathe. "if you don't want to keep talking, we can stop here."
he shook his head. "no. i want to keep going." she noticed a few tears running down his pale cheeks. she nodded reassuringly.
"why you didn't want to return with your parents?"
"because they made my life a living hell."
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