"What? When?"
I can picture Ellie jubilating on the other side as she talks to me on the phone. "Yeah, I'm missing you, guys. I told James it was inconceivable that I spend all my time with him without seeing you."
"But when did you decide that?"
"Like, ten minutes ago. I'm coming back home. Start getting the bags ready."
I cannot believe it. "Is Yann coming?"
"Yes, Will is on his way to his house to let him know."
I grimace. "You're aware that James and Yann are like oil and water, right?"
"Well, they'll have to deal. I am not leaving without them."
As we disconnect the call, I get awfully apprehensive at seeing Yann. We haven't talked in two days and when I had snuck into his house and called his name, only silence had replied. I want to believe he really wasn't there and wasn't just avoiding me. I miss him.
Get a grip, I tell myself. Grabbing one of my bags, I start filling it with clothes of mine and Lucy's. I can't believe we're going camping just like that. Sometimes, I feel like Ellie is completely out of her mind – but honestly, it's when she's at her craziest that I love her the most.
Halfway through packing, I realize I should go get Lucy from Matt's and ask her what she wants to bring. The little brat could take one look at the bag, says she wants nothing of what I've chosen and all my hard work would have been for nothing.
A few seconds after knocking on my neighbors' door, Matt's mother opens the door with a bright smile. I tell her I'm here to pick up Lucy and she goes fetch my little sister who is more than angry at being pulled away from her new best friend. However, as we go back to our house, her face brightens up the moment I tell her we're going camping.
"Yay!" She screams. I smile at her excitement and ruffle her hair in playfulness. "So, get my bag ready, then."
She's about to flee our room but I grab her. "Nah-ah. You pick what you want so that I don't hear you complain after that."
I let my little sister alone and go to the basement, looking for a tent Ellie told me her parents have stashed there. The moment I come back up, I hear the front door open and Ellie's voice fills the house.
"I'm here, gonna get my bag ready."
I hear her feet on the staircase just as I close the door to the basement. I catch sight of James in the doorway, typing away at his phone. Once he notices me, he pockets his phone and comes to me.
"Hi, Tracy," he greets, "haven't seen much of you lately."
I laugh at that, giving him a pointed look. "Doesn't look like you wanted to see much of anyone but Ellie." He has the decency to look a little contrite and I see him blush. I punch his shoulders playfully and smile. "Don't worry, it's okay. I know what it's like to want to be with someone all the time."
As the words leave my lips, I realize with much surprise that I am talking about Yann. James gives me a funny look and is about to say something, undoubtedly something along of the lines of really, you do? when someone else beats him to it.
"Do you have a secret boyfriend now, Tracy?"
I crane my neck to look past James. Surely enough, Will is standing behind him with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smile on his lips. I roll my eyes at him and say, "No, I don't."
Movement behind him catches my attention and I see him. Yann. His back is to me, a hand holding a phone – Will's phone I realize – up to his ear as he talks to someone. I can see him run a hand through his already messy hair. He turns around still talking and his eyes meet mine. I wait for him to do something first for I am too afraid to smile at him only to have him ignore me. But to my great surprise, he stops talking for a moment – or maybe he's just listening to his interlocutor – as he takes me in. Then, he mouths, "hi." I smile and mouth back, "hi." That's all. He turns around and goes back to his conversation.
As I take my eyes off Yann, I find Will eyeing me with a questioning look on his face and James with a weird look. I only smile at the both of them then hand Will the tent I've retrieved from the basement. "Here," I say, "put it in your trunk, please. We're taking your truck, right?"
"Yeah," he replies, "more space."
I nod as he leaves and telling James I am going to see what Ellie and my little sister are up to, I go back up the stairs. I help Lucy finish packing and soon, the three of us are back down the stairs. Ellie goes to lock the doors and close the shutters and within minutes, we're out of the house, locking the front door behind us. Quickly, Ellie parks her car inside the garage and then, she closes the garage door as well.
Yann is already in the backseat, looking out the window. We put all the bags, tents and food in the trunk before piling up inside the car. Ellie wants to drive, ignoring Will's protests that it is his truck. Because Ellie is driving and he wants to be close to her, James calls shotgun. I sit next to Yann, and Will climbs in next to me. Lucy sits on me and soon, we are all buckled up and ready for the adventure.
"Where are we headed to?" Yann's voice couldn't hold more boredom and I wonder why he even agreed to come with us in the first place.
Before anyone can reply, Lucy turns to him. "You're okay, Yannie?"
Yann's head snaps towards Lucy at the nickname as he gives her a glare. As I look at Lucy's face, I know she hasn't said it to be a brat, she's only being affectionate. I jam my elbow in Yann's side and it earns me a glare as well. "Don't look at her that way, she's just being nice." I whisper.
He clenches his jaw in irritation before reiterating his question but again, before anyone can reply to him, Lucy jumps in. "You don't look okay, Yann."
I see him take a sharp breath in. "I'm okay, Lucy. Just a little tired. So, where are we going?"
And in unison, everybody shouts in annoyance. "Outside of town."
"Thanks," Yann says but we all know it's sarcastic.
Lucy jumps off my lap after a while into the drive, complaining about how uncomfortable I make her – how I do that is beyond me since she is the one sitting on me; I conclude she's feeling bratty. She climbs on Will and takes a nice nap on him. Will, himself, leans his head on the window and closes his eyes. Ellie turns on the radio and a soft music fills the car. I can hear Ellie and James talk over the soft hum of the music but otherwise, everyone is quiet.
It's past five in the afternoon, and my eyes are closing. I hear his voice just as my eyelids are dropping. "You're not falling asleep, are you?"
I shot my eyes back open and look up to Yann. "I won't lean my head on your shoulder, don't worry.".
"That's not what I meant."
Over our small conversation, I can hear Ellie and Mike's small laughs here and there. "We both know that's what you meant. Let me sleep."
But I am uncomfortable. My legs are too long for me to outstretch them, my head finds no headrest, and my seatbelt is biting into my skin. I sigh in despair and proceed to figure out how I am going to fall asleep when I'm feeling so cramped.
Before I can figure it out however, I see Yann's hands reach over my body to unbuckle my seatbelt. I frown in my sleepy state, wondering what he is up to. I see him unbuckle his own seatbelt a few seconds later and he turns himself to me.
Through my lashes, I see him looking at me. I force my eyes open just in time to see him running his hand through his hair. What is he doing? Slowly, he lifts himself off his seat but he hits his head against the roof. I hear him grunt but he doesn't say a word. I think Ellie and James are too engrossed in what they're saying to notice anything, apparently.
"What are you doing?"
Instead of replying, he orders. "Scoot over."
I do as I'm told and find myself against the car door. Yann takes my place and buckles himself and before I can do so myself, he's already doing it for me. "There, you can sleep," he says.
I smile but don't say thanks like I want to and opt for a more playful attitude. "I knew you didn't want my head on your shoulder."
"I didn't, indeed."
But he's joking, I can hear it in his voice. "Thank you," I tell after a moment.
I see a faint smile on his rosy lips before I turn my head to sleep.
***
I'm woken up by the bumpy ride we're having. The car seems to be riding on a rocky path. James is now driving and Ellie is in the passenger seat.
I feel a weight on me and I look down to find a veil of black on my shoulder. It takes me two seconds to realize it's Yann's head. Unable to stop myself, I take a strand between two of my fingers and relish in their silkiness. I smile absently and don't let go of his hair, questioning James on our whereabouts. From what he says, we're not even half an hour away from our destination.
I pull my phone out of my pocket, and check the time that reads 9:36pm. I'm about to pocket my phone again, but decide to do something first. Switching on the selfie mode of my device camera, I try to take a picture but realize the light of the night is too dim. If I use the flash, it will undoubtedly wake him up unless he's a heavy sleeper like Lucy.
Risking it all, I decide to do it. I activate my flash, switch off the selfie mode and, placing the phone in the right angle to take his face wholly, I snap the picture.
It makes loud a loud noise, the flash illuminates both his face and the car, but he doesn't wake up.
"What was that?" James asks from his seat as I replace my phone in my pocket.
"Nothing," I reply too quickly and see him look in the rear view mirror to see something.
I settle back to my comfortable position and admire the offered nature outside. The car ride ends too soon and I stare out the window trying to assess our home for the night. It's quiet at that time of the night, faint sounds can be heard – from animals, I suppose – but that's all.
It's all nature.
I turn in my seat, only to realize that all this time, I hadn't stopped playing with Yann's hair. I let it go reluctantly and shaking his shoulders gently, I wake him up. "Hey, we're there," I whisper into his ears.
He groans softly in protest and I smile at how adorable he looks right now. Slowly, he lifts his head off my shoulder to take a look at where we are. By now, everyone is out of the car and it's only the two of us. Grabbing the handle, I open the door and take Yann's hand, leading him outside.
We go over to where Will is standing with Lucy by his side, and we are stare up at the sky above our heads. "Ellie had a good idea." Will says.
"Yeah," I agree, "it's gonna do us some good."
"Let's go unload the trunk," Will says.
We all start removing the food and the tents from the trunk except for Lucy who, instead of being exhausted like I had hoped, is jumping around, smiling, annoying everyone.
"Lead the way," Will announces to Ellie and James once everything has been unloaded.
But Lucy leads the way, as she gallops before Ellie and James. Will follows behind them with the two tents, and I walk behind him next to Yann. He hasn't spoken a word since he's woken up.
Moving the bag that contains the food to my other shoulder, I look up to him in the dimness of the night. "Are you okay?"
He adjusts the strap of his tent on his shoulder, just like I did with the bag a few seconds. I barely see the vein in his jaw when it pops under the skin. "Yeah."
If he expects me to back off with his rude tone, he's wrong. "You don't seem alright to me, though."
He comes to an abrupt halt and glares at me. "Why did you ask, then?"
I don't answer and he starts walking again. I keep walking by his side. I think I've come to realize that Yann likes it when people let it go, therefore he's left unbothered. Will is the only one who's not giving in to his attitude.
"Why don't you just go away?" I barely hear his question and I have to replay the words in my mind to know what he's asked.
And when I do, I look to him though he doesn't look down at me. "Because I know you don't want me to."
He stops again and so do I. "Graham, don't act like you know me."
I frown at him and stare right in his brown eyes. "I know I don't know you. But I know little things about you. There's a difference."
He doesn't say a word. The moment I see his face relax, I know he's had enough. He pinches his nose and opens his eyes which he had closed. "Go walk with Will, you're dying to have someone to talk to and I'm not in the mood for conversation."
I smile at him and shake my head. "You love when I babble. So I can babble and you'll listen." Irritating him brings me some sort of satisfaction to know his emotions are just lurking behind and waiting for the moment to break through.
He rolls his eyes, and clenches his jaw. "No, Graham. I don't want your presence at all."
I am tempted to stay, to annoy and piss him off, just so he'd show something than the blatant indifference he's giving me right now. But I know there are moments when I need to let go and this is one of them. So I do.
I take five steps away and go to Will. I don't have time to say hey and he already knows. "He got sick of you, didn't he?"
"Who cares?" I shrug.
He looks at me with a knowing expression. "You do." I feel his gaze on me as we continue to walk. "You like him more than you'll admit, don't you?"
"Don't you have a girlfriend to annoy?" I say with a roll of my eyes.
"We both know who I want."
I'm surprised at the sudden confession and almost trip over my own feet in shock. For a moment, I don't know what to say. I just think of Will, who's probably been in love with his best friend for years, watching her date other guys, being a spectator to her love life when all he wanted to be was the guy.
"How long?" I ask after a while. "How long have you loved her?"
Will shrugs. "I don't know," he says. "Maybe I always did, but I guess seeing how serious she is about James, it made me realize that I didn't want her to be with anyone else but me."
I look to Ellie who's walking beside James. The happy couple before us seems totally oblivious to the passing of time and the world around us. Before them, Lucy hasn't stopped jumping around, her pigtails flying in the air.
"She'll come to realize what she feels is solely friendship."
He only nods and in that nod, I read, I hope so.
And we don't talk during the half an hour our walk takes inside the woods. Once, I risk a glance behind me to Yann. My eyes fall right into his. He looks alone and I suddenly want to go to him and comfort him. But as if hearing my thoughts, he shakes his head as if to tell me, don't come. I return my gaze to the path we're on and follow our friends.
The establishment of the camp is made on what looks like a plain in the dark. Here, the trees are sparse and there is enough space to put a tent.
"Okay, guys go looking for wood to make the fire, and you girls, well, be good housewives and get the food and tents ready."
"I didn't peg you as a sexist, Will." I scold playfully.
"I know, I'm sexy." He winks.
I shake my head at him and he flashes me a big smile. I catch Yann's eye roll and James's smile. The guys leave to fetch us woods for the fire whereas the girls and I set up the tents.
As soon as the branches are there, Will makes a fire and we all sit around, eating cereals and milk, except for Lucy, the only one to be roasting marshmallows.
There's small chat going on, everybody piping in to say something – and Lucy more than everyone else, of course. Yann is the only one to keep quiet mostly and I can't help but steal a few glances his way. He catches me a few times but doesn't acknowledge me.
At some point, we all are too tired from the long drive to stay outside any longer. Ellie is annoyed, saying this isn't how our first night here should be, but we all promise to make it up to her tomorrow night.
Lucy, Ellie and I engulf ourselves in our tent, James and Will in one, and of course, Yann has to be the lone wolf. He's got his own tent that he has yet to set up. When Will offers his help, he replies that he is not sleepy and that he'll have a walk before going to bed.
I stretch out, almost hitting in the face Lucy who pushes me at the other end of our tent. "You're so fat."
I ignore her, take a pillow and close my eyes. "Shut up and sleep."
"No, I won't."
"You should, I need t–"
"Quiet already!" Ellie whines at her own end of the tent.
Lucy sticks her tongue out at me but I roll my eyes.
I ignore her. Like always.
***
It's 1:37 am when I check the time on my phone through blurry eyes before pocketing it again. Metallic noises outside have woken me up, and my first thought is that we're being attacked or robbed. With all the possible discretion, I unzip the tent and poke my nose outside first, then the right half of my face, and at last, the left half of my face.
And my eyes fall upon a busy Yann. He's setting up his tent. I watch as he struggles with the material. "Fuck," he cusses as he holds himself up. I see him pat his jeans front pockets, pull out something that I realize later to be a hair band for he ties his hair in a bun with it at the top of his head. Some strands are hanging loosely, brushing his nape.
Just as he finishes, he notices me watching him. "Did I wake you up?"
I come out of the tent, and zip it back up. I only shrug in response as I approach him. I don't bother asking him if he wants some help – knowing him, he will say no – and proceed to give him a hand. We work silently in perfect coordination. In less than ten minutes, his tent is set. He must be dead tired and in need of good sleep, but I no longer feel sleepy.
"You're okay?" I hear him ask after I heave a long sigh.
I nod at him. "Yeah." I say, "I'm just gonna take a walk."
But I don't move away immediately. Instead, I find myself looking at him, and more precisely at the bun at the top of his head. I've never seen him with a bun before and I must say, I prefer it to the ponytails. It makes him look sexy, somehow. I like it.
"You're smiling."
His voice jolts me out of my thoughts and I look back into his eyes. A soft wind comes pushing stray strands into his face and as he's distracted and tucks his hair back into place, I don't answer him. I start walking away after wishing him a good night. I've only taken two steps that my feet stop on the soil at the sound of my last name.
"Yeah?" I turn to face him.
"Where's that picture you took of me?"
•••
Busted! Hehe, you all thought he was asleep :) Let me know if you like this chapter!
Thank you for reading❤️